ยฉ lovinglylibelle 2024 - All rights reserved. No work shall be reproduced, reposted, modified, translated in any form or by any means on any platform.
megumi x reader ; fluff ; wc 3236 ; like and reblog xoxoxo
"where did they go...?" you mumbled to yourself as you rummaged through the old boxes in the storeroom of your apartment with a pout on your face.
you were finding your stickers, yes, the ones you saved for special occasions but never got around to using them. you remember having lots of them, likeโฆ a lot.
it wasn't anything important to be honest but the urge to finally put them to use had you moving before you could be lazy about it and now you had already set up your scrapbooks and journals in the living room for the same.
standing on your tiptoes you peeked inside yet another box, hopeful since it had other crafting materials you had saved but never used... it was kinda sad if one was to think about it, never getting around to using anything just because you wanted to wait for that special moment, but now you'll definitely put everything to use and as for the stickers, they were not there either.
you stepped down from the stool, hands on your waist as you tried to remember in which box you had put them in.
"megumi! can you come here for a bit?" you called out, he was probably in the bedroom. it was truly a perk to have a boyfriend at hand, one who was so keen on details and definitely with a better memory than yours, and taller too.
the wait for him wasn't long as his footsteps echoed against the floor and within a minute he stepped into the room.
"hmm?" he asked, leaning against the door with his hands in his pockets.
"do you remember all those stickers we kept? the ones you said i should just use and be done with?" you asked, turning around to face him, only to falter, just a little.
his hair was still wet from the shower he had taken earlier, some strands dry and sticking up while the others were still damp and on his forehead. he looked cute. biteable actually. and he still made your head spin.
"the ones with the stars and stuff?" he asked, stepping in and immediately helping you in your quest without hesitation.
"yeah, there are a lot more though... the dog ones, the heart ones, the cat ones, the flowers and like a lot more" you replied, stepping on the stool again.
you stood on your tiptoes, reaching for another box that was quite high. you bit your lip as the stool wobbled a bit, extending your fingers to reach it.
"hey, easy. you'll fall on your face like that" megumi said as he braced you with one hand on your waist before reaching up from behind you and easily picking up the box. so efficient.
"here" he said, pressing a kiss to the back of your head just because, while his hand lingered on your waist, causing goosebumps to rise on your skin. somehow he still had that effect on you even though you had been together for like... the past five years and some months.
"thanks," you said, heart fluttering but getting distracted just as easily as you looked through the box he had helped you with.
meanwhile megumi was now looking through other boxes. he had always been like this, going along with whatever random thing you decided to do, no questions asked. whenever you needed him, he was there and you valued that more than anything. he was your stability, your anchor no matter what. though he did chime in every now and then with his opinions, very valid opinions because that was the thing about him, he was thorough and rational.
the stickers though, unfortunately, weren't in the box you were sifting through and that just made your pout grow... you were sure you had kept them in some box when moving, you couldn't have thrown them out right? no but you remember vividly that you had kept them in-
"oh here they are." megumi said, interrupting your thoughts as you turned towards him instantly, eyes lighting up as you looked at the sheet of stickers he was holding.
"oh my god! Megumi i love you, thank you thank you thank you!" you exclaimed, launching yourself at him in your excitement, kissing his cheek.
"oh-" megumi stumbled, catching you with one arm while the other held the box.
"they are just stickers..." he said, trying his best to be his non-chalant self but his tinted cheeks gave him away as he avoided your gaze. it was very easy to fluster him. he was unbearably adorable.
"yeah but i really wanted to find them, thank you" you replied as you smiled at him, pecking his cheek. you took the box from him, it was filled with stickers to the brim and other crafting materials that you collectedโฆ it had been a hobby of yours and you were a hoarder.
"come on, let's go" you grabbed his hand as you dragged him out to the living room, the journals and scrapbooks neatly arranged on the kotatsu.
you sat down, getting comfortable along with megumi and laid out all the stickers on the table, sorting through them.
"oh wow look at theseโฆ" you said, pointing at the sparkling stickers that had ghibli characters on them, picking them up to show them to megumi, who was looking at the dog ones that looked like his demon dog.
"you know i actually got those because i thought they looked like our Kuroo." you pointed out, looking at a different sheet of stickers now, biting your lip in thought.
you opened your journal then, mapping out the designs in your head as you placed the stickers all over the pages.
"megumi, which one would look better here?" you asked, sliding a sheet towards him but there was no response.
"megumi?" you asked again, turning to face him, only to smile when you saw that he was intently focused on sticking some of the stickers on his phone case.
your eyes softened at the sight of him, his hair, now fully dry was all over his eyes as he concentrated, lips parted a little.
you felt your heart doing a flip, you loved him so muchโฆ it was actually crazy. you could watch him like this for hours.
however, you were feeling mischievous, so you did what any person in your situation would do, put a sticker on him.
taking a green heart sticker that matched his eyes, you placed it on his cheek, catching him off guard as he blinked back to the moment.
"what are youโฆ" he began, trailing off as you giggled, smiling at him brightly.
his own lips quirked up in a small smile as he picked one of the sheets of the stickers himself and placed one on the corner of your eye, and just like that you two were now putting stickers on each other.
the scrapbooks and journals were forgotten easily, the sound of your shared laughter and whispers now filling the house.
you were placing random stickers on his face, whichever you liked while he was creating cohesive designs on yours.
his brows were knit in concentration as he placed a jewel sticker near your lip, pressing it gently before pulling his hand away and nodding as if it was the final touch on his greatest work of art.
"can i see now? please?" you asked, getting curious to see what he had done with your face while also putting some more stickers on his face to tie it all together.
he nodded simply, shifting a little as you grabbed your phone and switched on the selfie camera, laughing instantly at how ridiculously cute you two looked.
"oh wow this is actually pretty cute" you said, looking at yourself and then at megumi who truly looked so good, even with the stickers that it was actually unfair.
megumi was still examining his face, a little smile on his lips.
"did you put all of the stickers on my face?" he asked, examining one with the flower and a vine.
"they are all so perfect, you look really good with them." you complimented him, poking his cheek happily.
you took a lot of selfies like that; laughing at how each one was turning out, rolling your eyes when in each of them he wad looking at you and not at the camera.
"baby look at the camera," and yet his eyes were still on you, making you shake your head and switch the phone off.
"what?" you asked, blushing under his gaze while trying to not let it show.
"nothing," he replied with a shrug but his eyes said otherwise.
"really? then why are you staring, hmm?" you leaned closer, getting all shy and playful.
"because."
"because what?" you asked, tilting your head.
"just because."
"megumi, tell me." you said again, huffing a little as you held his gaze.
at which he just leaned even closer, slowly closing the distance between the two of you, his lips pressing against yours gently.
all the thoughts in your head, dissipated in that moment as a sigh escaped you and you kissed him back. he really caught you by surprise sometimes, not that you were complaining though, you loved when megumi got comfortable like this.
you reached your hands up, cupping his face gently and kissing him deeper. heart buzzing.
he hummed into your mouth before pulling away slowly, his breathing uneven as he rested his forehead against yours.
"do i need a reason to look at you?" he asked, his voice a little breathless.
"not really i guessโฆ" you replied with a soft laugh, pecking his lips again. oh god you were hopelessly in love with him.
ยฉ lovinglylibelle 2024 - All rights reserved. No work shall be reproduced, reposted, modified, translated in any form or by any means on any platform. Do not feed my work into AI
in the quiet hours of the night, when the curses have been exorcised and the sorcerers are asleep... there is megumi, scribbling away quietly in his dorm. nobody knows this but when his mind gets too loud and his world is a little too much to bear, he takes solace in a canvas with paint covered brushes and fingertips.
it's his escape from his world, from the reality that his life is feeble, that death, while inevitable for every living being, is always around the corner for him; following him and the others like a shadow.
death doesn't scare him, not really, given his reality it was an ever looming truth, but in the rare moments it did he'd find himself putting his headphones on music playing loud enough to overpower his thoughts and fingers already picking up the brush, putting that first stroke on the canvas.
or when he simply needed an outlet, something that could hold his secrets without judgement, without pity. where he could just... be, without having to articulate.
he wouldn't say he was skilled at it, not really. all he did was paint what he felt or saw, anything that caused him to stop. he didn't even know when or how it started but it had somehow always been a part of him. he saw things most people couldn't, not curses per se but rather the world... it was different for him.
like this once when he saw two cats on the sidewalk everyday until the one day he noticed that only one of them remained, eyes filled with an emotion he knew too well. it wasn't surprising to him that an animal could feel such intensity of emotions but the urge to comfort the cat, somehow, overwhelmed him. he was sensitive in ways others couldn't be.
he got food and candy for it, feeding it every day since then... but that day, he remembers going back and quietly painting the same longing he witnessed in an array of monochromes. you can still see the mark his teardrop left on it, even though he had tried his best to hide it.
maybe it was his life that made him so sensitive, maybe it wasn't, who knows? megumi certainly didn't. it was just so natural for him to lock his door, pull out his sketchpad and spend hours like that, sketching everything yet nothing all at once.
he wouldn't even notice the time going by, so engrossed in whatever his mind had deemed meaningful enough to perceive. he wouldn't even notice when the late hours of the night would turn into early hours of the morning, or when the call of the cicadas would turn into chirping of the birds. he wouldn't notice.
he doesn't deliberately hide it though, its just that no one noticed, no one asked... and he never felt the need to bring it up either. no one asked, and he preferred it that way; everything he created was private anyway.
so contrary to people's belief, it isnt that megumi doesn't feel things... its that he feels them too deeply, too differently, too quietly. and that was precisely why he kept to himself because how can you make someone feel the same emotion as you, the same way as you?
with a canvas, a sketchpad or anything of the sorts really, its easy to share. they understand what most people don't, let him have his own little space, his own little cathartic corner without consequences.
so you will find megumi hovering over an easel or a sketchbook, with music playing loud in his ears, caring too much in his own silent way, scribbling away in the quiet hours of the night.
ยฉ lovinglylibelle 2024 - All rights reserved. No work shall be reproduced, reposted, modified, translated in any form or by any means on any platform.
in the quiet hours of the night, when the curses have been exorcised and the sorcerers are asleep... there is megumi, scribbling away quietly in his dorm. nobody knows this but when his mind gets too loud and his world is a little too much to bear, he takes solace in a canvas with paint covered brushes and fingertips.
it's his escape from his world, from the reality that his life is feeble, that death, while inevitable for every living being, is always around the corner for him; following him and the others like a shadow.
death doesn't scare him, not really, given his reality it was an ever looming truth, but in the rare moments it did he'd find himself putting his headphones on music playing loud enough to overpower his thoughts and fingers already picking up the brush, putting that first stroke on the canvas.
or when he simply needed an outlet, something that could hold his secrets without judgement, without pity. where he could just... be, without having to articulate.
he wouldn't say he was skilled at it, not really. all he did was paint what he felt or saw, anything that caused him to stop. he didn't even know when or how it started but it had somehow always been a part of him. he saw things most people couldn't, not curses per se but rather the world... it was different for him.
like this once when he saw two cats on the sidewalk everyday until the one day he noticed that only one of them remained, eyes filled with an emotion he knew too well. it wasn't surprising to him that an animal could feel such intensity of emotions but the urge to comfort the cat, somehow, overwhelmed him. he was sensitive in ways others couldn't be.
he got food and candy for it, feeding it every day since then... but that day, he remembers going back and quietly painting the same longing he witnessed in an array of monochromes. you can still see the mark his teardrop left on it, even though he had tried his best to hide it.
maybe it was his life that made him so sensitive, maybe it wasn't, who knows? megumi certainly didn't. it was just so natural for him to lock his door, pull out his sketchpad and spend hours like that, sketching everything yet nothing all at once.
he wouldn't even notice the time going by, so engrossed in whatever his mind had deemed meaningful enough to perceive. he wouldn't even notice when the late hours of the night would turn into early hours of the morning, or when the call of the cicadas would turn into chirping of the birds. he wouldn't notice.
he doesn't deliberately hide it though, its just that no one noticed, no one asked... and he never felt the need to bring it up either. no one asked, and he preferred it that way; everything he created was private anyway.
so contrary to people's belief, it isnt that megumi doesn't feel things... its that he feels them too deeply, too differently, too quietly. and that was precisely why he kept to himself because how can you make someone feel the same emotion as you, the same way as you?
with a canvas, a sketchpad or anything of the sorts really, its easy to share. they understand what most people don't, let him have his own little space, his own little cathartic corner without consequences.
so you will find megumi hovering over an easel or a sketchbook, with music playing loud in his ears, caring too much in his own silent way, scribbling away in the quiet hours of the night.
ยฉ lovinglylibelle 2024 - All rights reserved. No work shall be reproduced, reposted, modified, translated in any form or by any means on any platform.
tw: spoilers for jjk shibuya arc // mention of death // major character death // brief panic attack
requests: OPEN
description: how do you learn to live without the very thing that gave you life?
The rustling of the leaves that was once soothing to your ears, was now nothing more than a screech that you wished could stop. Nothing made sense anymore... and neither was anything beautiful anymore... everything was gray and pale, devoid of life.
The sun was shifting ever so slightly, reminding you of the fact that the earth was moving... that the world was spinning when it should have stopped, just like how it did for you that day. It wasn't fair, that everybody got to wake up and go about their life as if everything was normal while you... were stuck. Stuck in that day where everything was snatched away from you, the day your life lost all its colour, the day the smile left your face.
You looked down at your hand, a little one holding on to it tightly. The fingers were tiny, barely able to hold yours entirely.
"Mommy, is daddy gonna be there?" a little voice asked, filled with innocence and curiosity that made your heart tremble.
"Yes baby, he will be there waiting for us..." you reply, trying to keep your voice stable as you reassured the little girl, and yourself.
Aeri... your daughter, was only four years old. She had her father's kind eyes and his beautiful smile along with hair that matched yours.
Hearing your words, she exclaimed, her steps becoming excited as she happily skipped alongside you. You admired her, the way it only took a few words to make her happy... it was a blessing that only little children were fortunate enough to have.
"how far? i miss him..." she said softly, as she grew impatient, her pace increasing
"is he still going to be where he was last time?" she asked again, voicing her little thoughts.
"Just a little further baby... only a little more," you replied, grabbing her hand tightly and protectively.
You were unable to reply to the other question, knowing that the answer will fill her with dissappointment yet again. It was like this every other week. You didn't have the heart to do it again.
The slope gradually increased as you climbed the short hill, reaching your destination within a few minutes... a goal in your mind.
Treading through the all too familiar path, the steps almost muscle memory by now... two hundred and seventy six... you had counted them.
You let her little hand leave yours as you sat on the bench, sighing softly.
You watched carefully as her eyes lit up, grinning as she ran to her dad.
"Daddy!" she exclaimed, happily running to him as he sat there, a serene expression on his face.
"My princess..." he said softly, ruffling her hair as he kissed her forehead.
She sat with him quietly, talking to him as he listened patiently, ever the perfect father. You watched her she plucked a few flowers, making a small bouquet with them and smiling as she handed it to him.
"For you daddy..." she said softly, her little hand reaching out.
You couldn't take it anymore, the tears that you were trying to hold back for her sake were now flowing as you reached up a trembling hand to wipe them off. The tissue having already fallen apart from the grip you had on it.
"Ahh... look, mommy is crying..." he said softly as he pointed at you. Aeri followed his gaze, a small pout on her face.
"Mommy cries a lot when she sees you..." she said as she plucked a stray branch from his head.
"Why don't you give her a flower, hmm? Make her happy?" He suggested, watching as Aeri's eyes light up and she immediately plucks a flower, running towards you. He followed her shortly, walking upto you and sitting down next to you.
You wiped your tears as she reached you, putting on a smile while your eyes were still red and tired.
"For you mommy." she said, handing you a beautiful flower, it was a daisy... a perfect representation of the girl in front of you, innocent and pure.
You took it from her hand, caressing her cheeks softly.
He watched it unfold, a fond smile on his face as he watched the interaction between his two most precious beings in the entire world, a soft sigh escaping him.
"Thank you, baby" you whispered, tears falling yet again.
Aeri, pleased now, ran back towards the flowers, finding more as she busied herself in this new interest of her. You were jealous of it, of her ability to not remember, to not care, to not *know* him.
He watched you quietly, his eyes weren't lively anymore but that was a given... yet they still held the immeasurable love he had for you.
You sighed as you bit your trembling lip, your hands gripping each other tightly as the fingers went white.
"Oh god... i miss you..." you whispered as you looked up at the sky, trying to hold your tears back as your voice wavered, breaking.
"I miss you too honey," he said, watching you closely with pain in his eyes... knowing that his voice couldn't reach you, not anymore.
"Why did you leave me?" you asked again, for what seemed like the thousandth time... but no one was there to reply to you.
"I had no choice" he replied softly, reaching out to caress your face, knowing that you couldn't feel his touch either... not anymore.
"She didn't even get to know you, Kento..." you whispered, unable to take it anymore as you began to sob.
Nanami wished he could reach out and cradle you, to hug you and hold you and tell you that it was all fine but he couldn't... not anymore.
There was nothing more painful to you than the fact that your daughter couldn't get to know her dad... her loving dad who would have showered her with so much love if he had been here, it was painful that she would never get to know how amazing her dad was, never get to feel his care, the way he would have doted on her, been the best girl dad... it was painful and it made your heart throb in a way that couldn't be soothed.
You watched her as you cried, she was picking up the branches that were on your grave, cleaning up the space as if it was the most normal thing to do. A four year old, tidying up her father's final resting place... it was cruel, she should have been playing with him instead.
You tried to calm yourself but you couldn't, your hand clutching your thigh in an attempt to ground yourself. But you couldn't and the only person who could, was gone.
It had been almost four year since Kento died... your dearest husband and Aeri's dad... taken away from you on that dreadful night in Shibuya.
Aeri was only eight months old when he had died, leaving the two of you alone selfishly. You had never gotten over it, and to be truthful, you didn't want to. The grief that you felt was a reminder of your love for him, the love that you wanted nothing more than to give to him...
Oh how you would give anything to hear his voice again, wake up in his arms again... or see him smiling at his little girl again. It really wasn't fair, but there was nothing you could do to change it.
You wanted to scream, to shout, to let go of some agony that you felt but you couldn't bring yourself to.
"Why did you leave me alone... how will i raise her?"
You asked yet again, despite knowing that you wouldn't get a reply... yet again. You clutched the little flower in your hand, the petals breaking and scarring because of your nails but you couldn't bring yourself to care.
You looked at Aeri yet again, she was sitting so peacefully near the grave, tracing his name that was engraved on the tombstone, reading out the letters without understanding what they meant.
"its hard to even breathe without you... i don't know how much longer i could go on Kento... it hurts so much." You whispered as you breathed in deeply but cough halfway through as if proving your words.
"You have to go on, Honey..." He whispered softly, his hand reaching out to hold yours.
"i don't want to go on..." you whispered, as if replying to him but he knew better than that.
"i want to see you again..." you whimpered, fresh tears falling from your eyes.
"i'm right here, darling..." he whispered, knowing that his reassurance wouldn't reach you but he still tried.
A sense of panic rose through you yet again, it was a routine by now, and before you could realise, you were breathing hard as the reality set in again. You couldn't see him, not anymore, you couldn't meet him anymore, you couldn't look into his eyes anymore, or his smile. He was gone... he was... gone...
His face contorted into one of pain, his hand gently stroking your back slowly, just like it would when he was alive.
You clumsily reached for your bag, pulling your bottle out as you opened it with trembling hands. Taking a sip, you tried to focus on the cold water going down your throat, momentary relief washing over you. This was a cycle that you were all too familiar with, a norm in your life for almost four years.
He gently caressed your face, blowing softly as he tried to soothe the skin that was probably burning up, like it always dof. He always did it when you cried, it made you laugh.
You sighed softly as you closed your eyes, feeling a gentle breeze on your face that cooled your skin down. A tired chuckle escaped you, shaking your head, it was as if he was right there. He probably was.
You looked in the direction of the wind, your gaze soft and vulnerable. It felt as if the universe was mocking you but somehow your heart felt at ease.
"I wish you were here..." you whispered again, letting your eyes close for a little while.
"I am here darling, i am right here..." he said, his voice was tender despite it all.
You opened your eyes again, still staring off into the the distant space, as if you were trying to see something more... trying to will him into existence again.
Taking deep breaths, you sat up straighter, looking at Aeri who was quietly sitting next to the grave, watching the bugs with great interest.
You smiled softly at the sight, wiping off the remnant of the tears... You had to be strong, for her at least... even if it meant doing it alone or putting your own grief aside. You tried to, you really tried to but every little thing led you back to the same path you were trying not to go down... every path led back to him.
"You are strong, my love..." he whispered, his gaze tender. "You can do this... i know."
"It would have been easy if you were here but it's fine... i just hope you are resting well." you said, a bittersweet smile on your lips as you sniffled.
"I am..."
"You finally got that vacation you wanted." you said with a chuckle, although it wasn't full of humour.
Nanami couldn't help but laugh along, heartily, at that.
"I just wish you could return from it"
You looked up at the sky, trying to blink back the tears that were forming again. The sky was coloured in the hues of pink, red and purple... it was beautiful.
Nanami sighed softly, looking up with you, silently appreciating it too
You looked back at Aeri, smiling again.
"She is growing up so fast... she keeps asking about you. Says this is her favourite place." you said, to no one but you had hoped he was listening... somehow.
"She is so patient too, and too kind for her own good." you allowed yourself to laugh a little.
"Yesterday itself, she gave her candies to this one kid who was crying in the park... unable to walk away... just like you."
"Even her eyes, her smile... the way she thinks... everything is like you. It calms my heart to watch her, its like you are right there."
"Ahh... it would have been so fun to see her be a daddy's little girl but you needn't worry, she is mommy's little girl."
Nanami smiled at that, he knew that you would never let Aeri feel his absence.
"She is so strong you know? stronger than me, she even comforts me... in her own way but i swear, she is the sweetest little girl Kento."
"She really likes Itadori, and that boy is kind enough to come on Fridays to hang out with her. Even Gojo comes, atleast once in a month to check up on us, talks about you, gives her sweets and then leaves" you laughed softly, shaking your head.
You sighed softly, smoothing down your clothes as you sniffled softly.
"I don't even know why i am saying all this, but somehow it feels better....as if you are actually listening to me you know?" You scoffed "I've gone completely crazy, haven't i?"
"No my love... i am listening"
"Anyway, i hope you are waiting for me... but i also hope you are patient cause i am not planning on coming anytime soon... gotta take care of our little baby..." You joked with yourself, shaking your head.
"My darling... I'll wait, forever if i have to." Nanami replied, just like he would if he was alive.
"Aeri, baby we are gonna leave in five minutes okay?" you called out softly.
"Okay, mommy!"
Looking over, you could see the lush trees around you, the feilds of flower... it was truly beautiful, and perfect for his final rest... he had always liked nature's beauty. The soft chirping of the birds, the quiet hum of the insects... all of it became a little more bearable to you, the sound no longer a screeching one.
The breeze blew gently, the leaves rustling, some falling as the wind caressed them... taking them away. You watched quietly, closing your eyes and leaning back into the bench.
As you grew silent, he found himself leaning in, gently kissing the side of your head, wrapping his arm around your shoulder... hoping that maybe, maybe you could feel him, or atleast the fact that he was right there with you... every step of the way, that you weren't alone
Your eyes flew open, the unmistakeable pressure on your temple making you sit up straight.
No... it couldn't... you thought, turning around frantically and trying to look for something... and maybe him. You felt a sense of peace but it still had its desperation as you tried to cling onto it.
"Kento..." you whispered, full of longing and love so heavy that your voice found itself breaking at the burden.
You looked around again, trying to find him. Tears didn't fall this time, but your heart thudded loudly as you tried to calm yourself, biting your lip to ground yourself... to feel something other than what you felt.
"I love you..." you whispered at last, looking nowhere in particular yet everywhere at once... you closed your eyes as you took a deep breath. Hoping that maybe, just maybe... he would be right there when you open them and yet, when you did open your eyes again... he was nowhere to be found still.
a/n: this... has been an idea in my mind for an embarassingly long time (since i read the manga chapter where Nanami... yeah... so i have been wanting to write it since then but i just couldn't for some reason, until recently, i was like fuck it and i finally got down to write it. I was ugly crying too btw but that may be just because it was the week before my periods lol... i may be overselling this but i think its really good. Please like and reblog if you like it!! It would mean a lot to me <3333 Leave a comment review too!! love you guyss xoxoxo
taglist๐ท๏ธ: @quirrrky @asunflowerana @twinkletfout @leechaniie @vivivillian (send a request if you want to be added, bold usernames are the ones in my permanent taglist <333 thanks for letting me tag you)
tw: spoilers for jjk shibuya arc // mention of death // major character death // brief panic attack
requests: OPEN
description: how do you learn to live without the very thing that gave you life?
The rustling of the leaves that was once soothing to your ears, was now nothing more than a screech that you wished could stop. Nothing made sense anymore... and neither was anything beautiful anymore... everything was gray and pale, devoid of life.
The sun was shifting ever so slightly, reminding you of the fact that the earth was moving... that the world was spinning when it should have stopped, just like how it did for you that day. It wasn't fair, that everybody got to wake up and go about their life as if everything was normal while you... were stuck. Stuck in that day where everything was snatched away from you, the day your life lost all its colour, the day the smile left your face.
You looked down at your hand, a little one holding on to it tightly. The fingers were tiny, barely able to hold yours entirely.
"Mommy, is daddy gonna be there?" a little voice asked, filled with innocence and curiosity that made your heart tremble.
"Yes baby, he will be there waiting for us..." you reply, trying to keep your voice stable as you reassured the little girl, and yourself.
Aeri... your daughter, was only four years old. She had her father's kind eyes and his beautiful smile along with hair that matched yours.
Hearing your words, she exclaimed, her steps becoming excited as she happily skipped alongside you. You admired her, the way it only took a few words to make her happy... it was a blessing that only little children were fortunate enough to have.
"how far? i miss him..." she said softly, as she grew impatient, her pace increasing
"is he still going to be where he was last time?" she asked again, voicing her little thoughts.
"Just a little further baby... only a little more," you replied, grabbing her hand tightly and protectively.
You were unable to reply to the other question, knowing that the answer will fill her with dissappointment yet again. It was like this every other week. You didn't have the heart to do it again.
The slope gradually increased as you climbed the short hill, reaching your destination within a few minutes... a goal in your mind.
Treading through the all too familiar path, the steps almost muscle memory by now... two hundred and seventy six... you had counted them.
You let her little hand leave yours as you sat on the bench, sighing softly.
You watched carefully as her eyes lit up, grinning as she ran to her dad.
"Daddy!" she exclaimed, happily running to him as he sat there, a serene expression on his face.
"My princess..." he said softly, ruffling her hair as he kissed her forehead.
She sat with him quietly, talking to him as he listened patiently, ever the perfect father. You watched her she plucked a few flowers, making a small bouquet with them and smiling as she handed it to him.
"For you daddy..." she said softly, her little hand reaching out.
You couldn't take it anymore, the tears that you were trying to hold back for her sake were now flowing as you reached up a trembling hand to wipe them off. The tissue having already fallen apart from the grip you had on it.
"Ahh... look, mommy is crying..." he said softly as he pointed at you. Aeri followed his gaze, a small pout on her face.
"Mommy cries a lot when she sees you..." she said as she plucked a stray branch from his head.
"Why don't you give her a flower, hmm? Make her happy?" He suggested, watching as Aeri's eyes light up and she immediately plucks a flower, running towards you. He followed her shortly, walking upto you and sitting down next to you.
You wiped your tears as she reached you, putting on a smile while your eyes were still red and tired.
"For you mommy." she said, handing you a beautiful flower, it was a daisy... a perfect representation of the girl in front of you, innocent and pure.
You took it from her hand, caressing her cheeks softly.
He watched it unfold, a fond smile on his face as he watched the interaction between his two most precious beings in the entire world, a soft sigh escaping him.
"Thank you, baby" you whispered, tears falling yet again.
Aeri, pleased now, ran back towards the flowers, finding more as she busied herself in this new interest of her. You were jealous of it, of her ability to not remember, to not care, to not *know* him.
He watched you quietly, his eyes weren't lively anymore but that was a given... yet they still held the immeasurable love he had for you.
You sighed as you bit your trembling lip, your hands gripping each other tightly as the fingers went white.
"Oh god... i miss you..." you whispered as you looked up at the sky, trying to hold your tears back as your voice wavered, breaking.
"I miss you too honey," he said, watching you closely with pain in his eyes... knowing that his voice couldn't reach you, not anymore.
"Why did you leave me?" you asked again, for what seemed like the thousandth time... but no one was there to reply to you.
"I had no choice" he replied softly, reaching out to caress your face, knowing that you couldn't feel his touch either... not anymore.
"She didn't even get to know you, Kento..." you whispered, unable to take it anymore as you began to sob.
Nanami wished he could reach out and cradle you, to hug you and hold you and tell you that it was all fine but he couldn't... not anymore.
There was nothing more painful to you than the fact that your daughter couldn't get to know her dad... her loving dad who would have showered her with so much love if he had been here, it was painful that she would never get to know how amazing her dad was, never get to feel his care, the way he would have doted on her, been the best girl dad... it was painful and it made your heart throb in a way that couldn't be soothed.
You watched her as you cried, she was picking up the branches that were on your grave, cleaning up the space as if it was the most normal thing to do. A four year old, tidying up her father's final resting place... it was cruel, she should have been playing with him instead.
You tried to calm yourself but you couldn't, your hand clutching your thigh in an attempt to ground yourself. But you couldn't and the only person who could, was gone.
It had been almost four year since Kento died... your dearest husband and Aeri's dad... taken away from you on that dreadful night in Shibuya.
Aeri was only eight months old when he had died, leaving the two of you alone selfishly. You had never gotten over it, and to be truthful, you didn't want to. The grief that you felt was a reminder of your love for him, the love that you wanted nothing more than to give to him...
Oh how you would give anything to hear his voice again, wake up in his arms again... or see him smiling at his little girl again. It really wasn't fair, but there was nothing you could do to change it.
You wanted to scream, to shout, to let go of some agony that you felt but you couldn't bring yourself to.
"Why did you leave me alone... how will i raise her?"
You asked yet again, despite knowing that you wouldn't get a reply... yet again. You clutched the little flower in your hand, the petals breaking and scarring because of your nails but you couldn't bring yourself to care.
You looked at Aeri yet again, she was sitting so peacefully near the grave, tracing his name that was engraved on the tombstone, reading out the letters without understanding what they meant.
"its hard to even breathe without you... i don't know how much longer i could go on Kento... it hurts so much." You whispered as you breathed in deeply but cough halfway through as if proving your words.
"You have to go on, Honey..." He whispered softly, his hand reaching out to hold yours.
"i don't want to go on..." you whispered, as if replying to him but he knew better than that.
"i want to see you again..." you whimpered, fresh tears falling from your eyes.
"i'm right here, darling..." he whispered, knowing that his reassurance wouldn't reach you but he still tried.
A sense of panic rose through you yet again, it was a routine by now, and before you could realise, you were breathing hard as the reality set in again. You couldn't see him, not anymore, you couldn't meet him anymore, you couldn't look into his eyes anymore, or his smile. He was gone... he was... gone...
His face contorted into one of pain, his hand gently stroking your back slowly, just like it would when he was alive.
You clumsily reached for your bag, pulling your bottle out as you opened it with trembling hands. Taking a sip, you tried to focus on the cold water going down your throat, momentary relief washing over you. This was a cycle that you were all too familiar with, a norm in your life for almost four years.
He gently caressed your face, blowing softly as he tried to soothe the skin that was probably burning up, like it always dof. He always did it when you cried, it made you laugh.
You sighed softly as you closed your eyes, feeling a gentle breeze on your face that cooled your skin down. A tired chuckle escaped you, shaking your head, it was as if he was right there. He probably was.
You looked in the direction of the wind, your gaze soft and vulnerable. It felt as if the universe was mocking you but somehow your heart felt at ease.
"I wish you were here..." you whispered again, letting your eyes close for a little while.
"I am here darling, i am right here..." he said, his voice was tender despite it all.
You opened your eyes again, still staring off into the the distant space, as if you were trying to see something more... trying to will him into existence again.
Taking deep breaths, you sat up straighter, looking at Aeri who was quietly sitting next to the grave, watching the bugs with great interest.
You smiled softly at the sight, wiping off the remnant of the tears... You had to be strong, for her at least... even if it meant doing it alone or putting your own grief aside. You tried to, you really tried to but every little thing led you back to the same path you were trying not to go down... every path led back to him.
"You are strong, my love..." he whispered, his gaze tender. "You can do this... i know."
"It would have been easy if you were here but it's fine... i just hope you are resting well." you said, a bittersweet smile on your lips as you sniffled.
"I am..."
"You finally got that vacation you wanted." you said with a chuckle, although it wasn't full of humour.
Nanami couldn't help but laugh along, heartily, at that.
"I just wish you could return from it"
You looked up at the sky, trying to blink back the tears that were forming again. The sky was coloured in the hues of pink, red and purple... it was beautiful.
Nanami sighed softly, looking up with you, silently appreciating it too
You looked back at Aeri, smiling again.
"She is growing up so fast... she keeps asking about you. Says this is her favourite place." you said, to no one but you had hoped he was listening... somehow.
"She is so patient too, and too kind for her own good." you allowed yourself to laugh a little.
"Yesterday itself, she gave her candies to this one kid who was crying in the park... unable to walk away... just like you."
"Even her eyes, her smile... the way she thinks... everything is like you. It calms my heart to watch her, its like you are right there."
"Ahh... it would have been so fun to see her be a daddy's little girl but you needn't worry, she is mommy's little girl."
Nanami smiled at that, he knew that you would never let Aeri feel his absence.
"She is so strong you know? stronger than me, she even comforts me... in her own way but i swear, she is the sweetest little girl Kento."
"She really likes Itadori, and that boy is kind enough to come on Fridays to hang out with her. Even Gojo comes, atleast once in a month to check up on us, talks about you, gives her sweets and then leaves" you laughed softly, shaking your head.
You sighed softly, smoothing down your clothes as you sniffled softly.
"I don't even know why i am saying all this, but somehow it feels better....as if you are actually listening to me you know?" You scoffed "I've gone completely crazy, haven't i?"
"No my love... i am listening"
"Anyway, i hope you are waiting for me... but i also hope you are patient cause i am not planning on coming anytime soon... gotta take care of our little baby..." You joked with yourself, shaking your head.
"My darling... I'll wait, forever if i have to." Nanami replied, just like he would if he was alive.
"Aeri, baby we are gonna leave in five minutes okay?" you called out softly.
"Okay, mommy!"
Looking over, you could see the lush trees around you, the feilds of flower... it was truly beautiful, and perfect for his final rest... he had always liked nature's beauty. The soft chirping of the birds, the quiet hum of the insects... all of it became a little more bearable to you, the sound no longer a screeching one.
The breeze blew gently, the leaves rustling, some falling as the wind caressed them... taking them away. You watched quietly, closing your eyes and leaning back into the bench.
As you grew silent, he found himself leaning in, gently kissing the side of your head, wrapping his arm around your shoulder... hoping that maybe, maybe you could feel him, or atleast the fact that he was right there with you... every step of the way, that you weren't alone
Your eyes flew open, the unmistakeable pressure on your temple making you sit up straight.
No... it couldn't... you thought, turning around frantically and trying to look for something... and maybe him. You felt a sense of peace but it still had its desperation as you tried to cling onto it.
"Kento..." you whispered, full of longing and love so heavy that your voice found itself breaking at the burden.
You looked around again, trying to find him. Tears didn't fall this time, but your heart thudded loudly as you tried to calm yourself, biting your lip to ground yourself... to feel something other than what you felt.
"I love you..." you whispered at last, looking nowhere in particular yet everywhere at once... you closed your eyes as you took a deep breath. Hoping that maybe, just maybe... he would be right there when you open them and yet, when you did open your eyes again... he was nowhere to be found still.
a/n: this... has been an idea in my mind for an embarassingly long time (since i read the manga chapter where Nanami... yeah... so i have been wanting to write it since then but i just couldn't for some reason, until recently, i was like fuck it and i finally got down to write it. I was ugly crying too btw but that may be just because it was the week before my periods lol... i may be overselling this but i think its really good. Please like and reblog if you like it!! It would mean a lot to me <3333 Leave a comment review too!! love you guyss xoxoxo
taglist๐ท๏ธ: @quirrrky @asunflowerana @twinkletfout @leechaniie @vivivillian (send a request if you want to be added, bold usernames are the ones in my permanent taglist <333 thanks for letting me tag you)
hello lovelies, so my next series will be Jjk characters and the music artists they listen to. I think i have got a very perfect list down, maybe some controversial opinions but eh. Also, i have not included artists that support the genocide in gaza, so if an artist is not there when they should be, its that <3333
hello lovelies, since my outfit series was a hit (for me atleast) i will be having more such series so keep an eye out. i know i have been mia but i plan in coming back with that series soon. have a beautiful day <333
hello lovelies, i will be posting the moodboards for the outfit series this week!! i am so excited to post them!! it will have most of the details i mentioned but i may skip a few cause the limit of photos is just 10 :/ anyway, look forward to it!! they are gonna be funn <333
Okay so i know this man is broke as shit BUT thta doesn't mean i cant style him ;) and that he doesn't have a sense of style. He just doesn't have the money to pull it off
ANYWAY, so ofc this dude likes to wear the classic toji combo, black compression shirt with grey joggers. Its something he wears when he cant think of something.
Additionally, he is a guy who likes flannels. loves to wear them and pulls them off honestly. I mean obviously
He likes tank tops a lot, would wear them all the time because he finds sleeves restricting.
LEATHER JACKETS btw, he loves those. Wears them with a white shirt and blue jeans combo.
Again, the biker gloves. He wears them for reasons (look cool and to handle weapons better)
He actually likes wide legs (heh) but does get annoyed by how they trail all over the floor. Has them in blue and black and gray.
Wears collared shirts, like the one that show off his biceps and back muscles.
Okay so, he also doesn't mind wearing White button ups with trousers, yk that hot look. He even rolls his sleeves uo to showcase his forearm muscles.
Honestly, has a very all over the place style. One day he would be dressed classy and other day like he is broke. It depends on his mood and he genuinely doesn't care about what he wears.
Overall, he looks good in whatever concoction he puts on. Like idk how, i think its the face that makes anything look everything. Women give him double glances all the time, men too... worms too lol.
โง. NANAMI KENTO
Its honestly very hard to imagine him wear anything other than suits but i still did it HEH.
So of coure first of all, he wears suits. Tuxedos, double-breasted, Slim-fit, Modern-fit etc etc. He gets them hand-stitched, has an entire Kingsmen thing going on. Can name brands according to the make AND only wears original stuff. He is serious about his suits.
He has a lot of ties, cute ones, fun prints, the basic solid coloured ones, patterns and everything. Wears them according to the occasion.
He likes to wear Polo shirts, and i think they actually look quite hot on him. Especially the fitted ones.
His colors of choice usually are sage green, soft blue, dark blue, dark green, emerald green etc etc
He loves the round neck shirts too, the ones without collars.
Wearing button ups is his thing, wears them a lot in black, white, beige and blue.
He alsoooooooo likes to wear joggers at home because they are so very comfortable.
In winters, he wears trench coats (i love trench coats if you cant tell) and highnecks too OMGGGG he looks so good in highnecks i might swoon.
Yk those trousers? which are lightweight and flowy? the ones that you see a lot of East Asian men wearing on pinterest? Yeah he loves those. He gets to be comfortable and look professional and good in them.
He likes to wear sweaters too, like those soft and warm beautiful sweaters.
A WATCH is a must. bro wears watch even at home. Has an entire section in his wardrobe designed for watches. There are silver watches, golden watches, black watches, chunky watches, analog, digital etcetc. Digital watches are just for show tho, will never wear them
Okay we all know that he is a diva but actually he doesn't try to be. I know its shocking but somehow whatever he wears, he serves.
He knows he looks good and whats worse is that he knows how to make himself look even better. it just comes to him naturally.
firmly believes that the reason Megumi is able to dress well is because of his influence (he is so obsessed with himself istg)
Has a very very diverse style, wears whatever looks good on him.
Usually its a button up with trousers and a belt to accentuate his thin waist. Such a show off
Likes the color: white, beige, light purplish-blue, gray and black. Thinks they looks the most classy and decent out of all. i agree with him.
Also wears colours like olive green, dusty rose etc but very rarely.
Has a lot of sunglasses obviously, circle ones, oval ones and etc etc. Got them in various colors too, matches them according to his outfit or just wears his signature black round glasses.
WILL ALWAYS have the top two buttons undone showing his cleavage, and his sleeves rolled up to show his forearm muscles. Such a *****
Wears silver accessories cause they compliment his skin tone. Mainly wears a watch just for the vibes. sometimes wears rings too, says it brings attention to his humongous hands.
Sometimes wears normal shirts, when he is going for something more casual (its very rare because he LOVES to be overdressed for every occassion,)
He is very extra and even in simple outfits, he looks extra.
In winters, he wears coats, trench coats, normal coats whatever.
AND HIGHNECKS OMGGGGGGGG
OH AND, he actually quite likes wearing coats. Oversized coats with trousers and plain tees is something he loves but won't admit it cause he doesn't want to clash with NANAMI out of everyone in the world.
โง. GETO SUGURU
Resident Badboyโข
Bro loves Black and only black, will not be caught dead with any other color in existence except for maybe charcoal or gray or a different shade of black.
Has a very weird sense of style honestly but manages to pull it off, pairs traditional outfits with western stuff somehow.
You know those bosozoku style of clothes that the toman gang wore, he has a lot of pants that look like that. Only the pants.
Wears button up shirts, black obviously along with that and other bottoms that he has.
He wears leather jackets. Again, a signature bad boy thing. He has a lot of different styles of those, some have multiple zippers, some have a lot of buckles, some are just plain and some have patches etc etc.
Has an emo typa vibe going, i mean he is sorta emo so
Would wear tattoo sleeves when he is wearing short sleeves or sleeveless things.
OMG WAIT, HE LOVESSSSSS to wear black tanktops.His muscles look so delicious in those and with that sexy manbun of his KTKSJTIDI AAA
Has a lot of puffer jackets and crew necks for winter.
OKAY SO HE ALSO WEARS THOSE LEATHER GLOVES that bikers wear. ones without the fingers. why the fuck do i keep making his hotter.
CHAINS. yes he wears a lotttttt of chains, some are religious totems, some are things that his daughters gave him. Dont be surprised if you find a cute little pink bow necklace hanging in the middle of silver chains lmao.
Wears those oversized cargos, yk the baggy jeans (nct). He also wears skinny jeans sometimes and somehow pulls them off. They are the bad type of skinny jeans,l thankfully.
Also has trousers for formal occassions or when he is taking his daughter out for dinner in restaurants.
His aesthetic i would say is... dark academia meets street style casual if you know what i mean?? It's hard to explain. anyway
Megumi has a very simple goal, be comfortable while looking good and he does just that. He doesn't even realise it, he just naturally has a way of pulling off just about anything. His sense of style is casual yet chic, streetwear yet classy.
Megumi usually go for dark colours, mostly monochromes like black, gray and white but also occassional dark blue, dark green, olive, maroon etc. and might i just say that he fucking serves those colours??? like!?!?
wears a lot of hoodies and sweatshirts, like a lot. but when he feels hot, he wears oversized tshirts like the one in lost in paradise. These shirts are either solid coloured or graphic tees, sometimes its fan merch, sometimes its from a cool small business with amazing prints.
He carries a cross body bag, for school and yk to carry random stuff and just as a nice way to accesorise.
He wears a simple silver chain around his neck, a thin one just because.
He also wears a few black rings, not chunky tho, he doesn't like his hand empty cause he has LONG fingers.
He kinda switches between leather bracelets and watches, depending on his outfit. Prefers to wear a watch usually. Has them in every color, but prefers black or silver metal.
HE ALWAYS has his headphones with him, so much so that it has become an accessory. He has a collection of headphones actually.
Occasionally, he also wears trench coats. IDC WHAT ANYBODY SAYS but he wears trench coats or long coats.
HE ALSO WEARS TURTLE-NECKS, its his personal favourite actually. Pairs it with trousers.
He actually mostly wears loose trousers or wide leg jeans. It depends on the day.
โง. ITADORI YUUJI
He is so adorable, pleaseeeeeeeee
He LOVES hoodies, like is obsessed with them. You will open his closet and you will see only hoodies with occassional shirts.
He has them in every type, warm hoodies, hoodies for summer, short sleeved hoodies, hoodies with buttons?? he has them all and is proud of his collection.
He does wear t-shirts, but very rarely and just like Megs they are graphic tees of his favourite fandom.
Would wear button ups in special occasions. VERY special occasions
Has a lot of caps too, doesn't wear them all the time tho. He has a great fashion sense so he wears them when they look good with an outfit.
Has a lot of shorts like Inumaki, all sorts of them.
Wears joggers when he is feeling lazy and cargos/wide legs when he has to go out with friends.
Will either look like a model for a photoshoot or homeless, there is no inbetween.
Wears cute bracelets for aesthetic purposes and to look adorable, he loves it when girls notice his bracelets and smile amongst themselves. Makes him feel proud.
He also silently coordinates with Megumi but always plays it as coincidence.Would see what Megumi is wearing and decide his fit accordingly. Its an everyday thing between Itadori and Kugisaki.
He likes light colors believes that they go well with his skintone.
Sky blue, pastel yellow, white, mint, light green etc etc are his go to colours.
Has a very fun vibe going, approachable and cute. AAAAAA he is just a truly adorable little man. i love him.
I believe that Inumaki's sense of style is very casual, and he can look confident and comfortable at the same time.
He loves to wear a variety of colors, they vary between pastels to cool winter color palette. I believe that he is a cool winter btw.
He wears vests, has quite a collection of every type of vests. Be it woolen vests, jacket vests, normal vests.
He likes to layer his clothes, would wear a long sleeved shirt and a short sleeved one on top of it etcetc
He wears them on top of various buttoned shirts, usually white with 1/4th sleeves.
Wears fanny packs, loves how they add character and a sense of humour to his outfit. It makes him more approachable according to him.
He wears shorts, trousers, wide legs, whatever he feels like like tbh. Usually only wears shorts in summers, Khaki shorts, cargo shorts, oversized shorts whatever
OKAY AND he wears glasses... like without power and he knows he looks good in them jrksjtiejr.
AND AND AND he wears stack bracelets.
โง. OKKOTSU YUUTA
Okay so hear me out, i think he likes to wear a chain necklace. like a single silver chain. not too thin not too thick, just the perfect size :)
He wears a lot of plain black tees, white tees and stuff. also has a range of sweatshirts: patterned, solid colored etc.
He also wears oversized buttoned shirts on those shirts and kinda looks sexy in them ngl.
Wears baggy jeans, wide legs a lot. Actually just wears those. Has them in every basic color: black, white, grey, beige, blue.
He doesn't have a personal statement in his style because he doesn't want attention but but butttttt he wears a lot of accessories, like silver chunky bracelets and oxidised rings and stuff. (so effing hot)
Loves Inumaki's style and incorporates it in his own, would wear buttoned shirt underneath his sweatshirts
He wears oversized hoodies too and joggers, lots of joggers because he finds them comfortable and efficient.
Overall has a very laid back style, more towards streetwear. True summer palette fits his vibe along with monochromes.
