Oh mood. Another frustrating thing about this scenario from the other side is when you straight-up warn friends and coworkers about this... and they still don't get it.
Like, I have ADHD, not austism (not that's diagnosed, at least), but I can be very direct/blunt. Some of it's not realizing how I'm coming off at times, some of it's from having bumped into so many miscommunication issues over the years (due to lots of things) that I like to be very clear. And like... I know I'm like this. You can tell, because I'm telling you now. So it's something I actively work to keep an eye on when I'm interacting with other people, so I can catch and correct myself then apologize before it causes problems.
It's also something I tell new coworkers when I meet them. "Hi, I'm Green, pleased to meet you! Heads-up, I can be too blunt sometimes. I do my best to catch myself when this happens, but I'm not perfect, so sometimes I miss that I've done that. If I say or do anything to upset you, please let me know immediately so I can apologize and correct my behaviour." Responsible self-regulation, with a small request for a little wiggle room in case of mistakes.
Only then we actually work together for awhile, I inevitably mess up at some point or another... and people get mad at me for being a jerk or I get told off by the boss for being rude. Only, 95% of the time, it was a genuine mistake that I feel horrible about. One moment that stands out in my memory is my boss asking me to count inventory for a product we had dozens of. I'm not good at that sort of task, numbers start jumbling in my brain if I've been counting too long, and I warned her of this, but I did it when she told me to. Partway through, I got the idea of marking down every ten I'd counted, then did that for the rest of them, tallied up the total at the end, and proudly gave my boss the info, announcing that I'd figured out a way to do it right.
To this day, from the vibes she gave me, I'm certain that she believed I was being lazy and trying to get out of doing the task because I just didn't want to do it. In actuality, I was just really afraid I'd get the count wrong, mess up the store's inventory logs, and create a situation that snowballed into a big problem later down the line.
So many people are happy to offer help to neurodivergents when things are going well, or we're having a picturesque problem. Almost no one wants to step up, grant space, or give the benefit of the doubt when the problem's messy or ugly or uncomfortable for them personally. And, unfortunately, for me at least, those tend to be the times we need the most support. :/
areudirty
yousharknotpass
prguitarman
turnnoffyourmind
blakekathryn
germansingergirl
theartofmadeline
stormborns
