heeseung works at an apothecary. hes beautiful. hes making potions. heโs also a bit of a hermit.
there's jars of plants you never even knew existed, yet he never strays far outside his home. you wonder how he sources his materials. but if you were to ask him about it, heโll smile at you and tell you it's a trade secret.
in reality, heโs largely commissioning his well-traveled friends. jakes always taking bounties in the neighboring kingdoms, so heeseung will gladly take the opportunity to send him off with a list of peculiar roots and harvests to bring home.
(note: heeseung only asks jake for plants. learned very quickly that toad eyes and gryphon hearts were more of a jay commission. youโd think a bounty hunter would be able to stomach taking out animals. but even they have their boundaries)
his business is on the lower level of his home and he resides upstairs of the cottage. he lives in the forest, just on the outskirts of town so he can keep a small stream of customers, but out of the way enough as to not be bothered. most of his money comes from important clients with the large and complicated orders anyway. heโs remedied the oddest diseases, created strangely specific poisonsโ its always been a natural talent of his to know exactly what ingredients go in the most random potion you can think of
heeseung feels absolutely no need to market himself, no matter how much his bard friend, sunoo, insists on the importance of networking. he makes enough to maintain his quiet life in the forest, and enough to pay his friends for their travels. thats all he needs.
now im branching off into where you fit in. thinking of different possibilities
maybe youโre one of his gatherers. you mistake one of the flowers he sent you to get for something else and the one you grabbed is accidentally poisonous. you turn up to his shop lightheaded and he has to treat you!!!!! youโve passed out the second you arrived to his shop so he has to carry you upstairs to his bed. heโs never housed another person before!!! his upstairs house isnโt even equipped to let any of his friends visit or more than 15 minutes. but maybe he finds having you up there with him isnโt too bad.
another thought: heeseung will very rarely be found outside of his shop. only occasionally to gather plants and materials for himself at godawful hours in the night when he can't sleep. the problem is. you really like him. and you don't have much business to be found at an apothecary that often. so you have to make up random reasons to keep visiting his store. one day youโll need a charm to keep your bread from going stale too fast. (thats never been an issue) or. ooooh your plants keep dyingโฆ can you give me a potion for that!!! (you donโt know how to garden.) he never catches onto your excuses and instead is oddly attached to helping you out with your little tasks. hes being paid good money to work on this potion for his wealthy client. but instead putting all his energy into helping you nourish your fake garden.
last idea: maybe youโre a lower level thief. you know better than to blatantly steal from a man who has multiple shelves of toxins. so you decide to make up a story about a sick friend whose illness took a turn for the worse and you donโt know what to do!!
and just as you weren't foolish enough to outright steal from heeseung, heโs no different. heโs heard enough lies in his life to know when someone's trying to con him. especially with his profession. but the thing is, he doesnโt care. he plays along and gives you a few balms and tells you itโll help your friend. he even gives them to you for free, since the situation seemed so desperate. you thank him and take your leave, not thinking too much about the fact that simple balms werenโt enough to save someone on their deathbed. heeseung knows what you're up to, and made something youโd easily be able to sell for a good chunk of money.
you sneak away to a nearby city and end up making a good amount off of his balms. but on your way back home, the bag of coins weighs heavy in your hands.. sighhhsss. thievery isnโt for youโฆ... when you get back, you decide to return to the apothecary and wait for a moment where heeseung isnโt on the floor to slip in. you leave the bag of gold on his desk with a note reading โmy friend wasnโt actually sick. im sorryโ and quickly exit before he sees you. but to your surprise, the pouch is back on your kitchen counter when you wake up in the morning with a parchment attached. โi know.โ
someone PLEAAAAASE write Splintered ff ill literally do anything im begging rn. OMGGGG PLSKSPSLSLSLSPSLA I NEED MY MORPHEUS DREAMS FULFILLEDDDDDDUHHHHHHH #10yearswithSplinteredineedFF
เฉญ Warning: recreational drug use (weed), alcohol consumption, swearing
เฉญ Word count: 11k
เฉญ Rating: nc-17
เฉญ Genre: fluff, angst-ish, slice of life, strangers to lovers, a hint of simp Joong? post university setting
เฉญ Summary: A broke barista and a broke artist meet in a student infested dingy pub, what do they have in common? The desire to make something great of themselves, to live a fulfilled life. But first impressions can go wrong, deterring people from each other. You're probably lucky that's not how your story with Hongjoong goes, though.
A/N: Hello, hello, my lovelies! I present you another story that was supposed to be a drabble but instead turned into...a smaller oneshot?? I consider anything that's below 15k a drabble because my oneshots just go over 20k all the time, save me! This idea came on a random whim while my pinterest suggested three photos lol, and it took me some time to write it, but it's here at last. Your feedback is greatly appreciated, let me know what you thought of this little story, and I hope you enjoy it! divider
ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Gustav Klimt had once, sometime during the nineteenth century, stated that, โArt is a line around your thoughtsโ. This could be interpreted many ways, of course, but for an artist it was just as plain and simple as Mr Klimt had said. Whatever was on your mind, you could give it life by putting it on a piece of paper by the brush of ink and feather against the parchment, or by the swift twist of oneโs wrist as their brush coloured their canvas. Art comes in many forms, many thoughts, and many interpretations. After all, everyone relates to it based by their own experiences, based on the emotions they feel and have felt beforeโฆand overall, their capacity of seeing beyond whatโs shoved in front of their eyes. Maybe thatโs why Hongjoong would stare at a painting or picture for hours on end without growing tired. He liked to see everything, he wanted to understand every stroke of brush, or why the lightning fell in that specific way on the item in the picture. Hongjoong wanted to feel the same emotions the author of the creation had felt while creating their piece. It helped him draw inspiration, expand his horizons towards new possibilities. Hongjoong liked new challenges as long as they were about his art. In life, he preferred the steady and sure lifestyle, the one that was predictable enough that it wouldnโt send him into an existential crisis over the smallest inconvenience.
Hongjoong needed order in his life since his art was all over the place, judged by many and often misunderstood. He didnโt paint just for the fun of it, sure, there were passion projects he started on a whim without much of a goal in mind, and usually those were well received by his professors, by his colleagues. But whenever Hongjoong wanted to say something through his art, heโd get scrutinized for it. He yet had to find that one person that saw beyond what others called a mess. Heโs never thrived for attention or validation, but it had gotten lonely after a while when he realised nobody really understood him. He felt like he was the odd one even in a crowd full of odd people. Heโd always been different, more open-minded and receptive to the changes in the world, and heโd always been judged for it. Here, instead of being frowned upon due to his character, he was sometimes ignored because his art was either dull or not good enough. Nobody seemed to understand that art is relative and subjective, that whatever lay on the canvas made by Hongjoong was his and would always be. That he had dipped his brush into a touch of colour from his soul, displaying it for the world to see on the once blank canvas. He became vulnerable for them and yet nobody had appreciated it yet. And so, Hongjoong got used to not being seen for his art, but for who he was.
Quirky with questionable fashion taste to many, bold because he wasnโt afraid to try out new stylesโmuch like with his paintingsโand intimidating because no matter how many times he tried out something new, heโd instantly make it his, owning whatever concept he had in mind. Hongjoong knew not everyone was against him out there, but it was easy to fall hostage to such thoughts when he was alone. It would make sense for an artist to have a mind clouded by questions and rarely answers, a mind that worked too fast and yet never good enough. Doubts and fears pulling one down, Hongjoong loved expressing it through his paintings, his hand nothing but a guide to the brush clutched tightly between his fingers, calling out to him even when he chose to step away. Hongjoong was in it for life, and he wondered whether the weeping willow tree by the river bank in his framed painting was a premonition for how his life would look like.
ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย The bar was busy like every other night in this student-infested town. It wasnโt even a surprise anymore, you should have known better than to wear your boots with high heels. There were no seconds to waste and even less time for breaks between preparing drinks, cleaning the bar, and running around the room to clean the tables too. Nobody wanted their hands sticky because someone had previously spilt their drink, and you were more than ready to clock out for the night. The only problem was, however, that you still had three hours left of your shift. You sighed as you averted your eyes from the clock, realising you hadnโt started preparing the drink the drunk college student had asked for on the other side of the bar. His eyes were glossy and he was swaying in his spot, you debated filling his cup with water rather than Vodka, but you couldnโt risk getting a complaint since your boss was a stinky little fucker. Your hands worked fast, and years spent doing this kind of work were showing as you did a few tricks, hoping youโd get a nice tip. You doubted the college guy would leave a huge tip, if anything at all, but at least you tried. It was all about trying in places like this one. Trying to stay calm when a customer was rude, trying to remain sane when night after night the DJ played the same playlist for the drunken students, trying to smile and hide the fact that you hated when these frat boys flirted with you. And also try and hide the fact that you were fed up with people, and needed at least a month away from civilisation.
But if one wanted to achieve something in life, one had to work for it to happen since it wouldnโt fall from the sky. Going abroad and starting a new life over there wasnโt for free, and it especially wouldnโt happen overnight. You were well aware of that, thatโs why you were working day and night, taking up shifts that were probably too long to be healthy. But the dream you had in mind demanded such sacrifices, and if it meant working hard right now for a comfortable life in the future, you were willing to spend your nights sleepless and surrounded by annoying college students. You had been like them once, after all, but that was a few years ago, and since then, the harsh reality has awoken you. What was the purpose of a degree you couldnโt do anything with? Yeah, you couldโve laughed at yourself, but then it would soon turn into hysterical crying and you werenโt strong enough to deal with such emotions. Youโve cried enough, it was time you took action now. You sighed as another rush of bodies crowded the bar, asking for shots and long cocktails. You werenโt a fancy place by any means, but you served the usual sweet cocktails that could be found in every other place. Your hands worked fast as you catered to everyoneโs likes, your coworker, Hanni, was somewhere lost between the students as she had gone to clean up the tables. And even in your rush, it seemed like you couldnโt satisfy everyone. It shouldnโt have phased you, but youโve had a rough day today.
โHey, babe, think you could work those hands faster, maybe?โ You ignored the question and smiled as a group of girls paid for their pink cocktails, leaving a bigger tip than most men would. You felt grateful and felt your smile turn genuine when the tallest in the group winked at you before they became part of the rowdy crowd again. Then, you could face your impatient customer. He didnโt look like a student, way too old to be in a crowd filled with students, but who were you to judge? Some people go to college at a later age, maybe he wanted to get the full student experience. Although, you doubted a thirty-year-old had anything in common with young adults on the brink of maturing, if they managed to mature during their upper-level study days.
โWhat can I get for you?โ Your voice was raised since the music was booming, and unfortunately, you also had to lean over the counter to hear the man better. For some reason, that made the man smirk as he leaned forward as well, eyeing you up as if you were a piece of meat. You ignored it as your teeth ground together, youโve seen men like him before, he wasnโt the first to act like this and you knew he wouldnโt be the last one either.
โHow aboutโฆyou, sugar?โ Your expression didnโt budge as his smirk became shit eating as if he had accomplished anything by saying that. You waited, without blinking or reacting to what heโs said, hoping heโd catch on that he wasnโt hilarious nor flirty.
โDonโt we all wish to have a piece of the pretty barista?โ That managed to throw you off as your head whipped to the side, eyebrows furrowing as you just now noticed the newcomer. He wasโฆwell, something else for sure. He wore no casual or ordinary clothes, nothing you could compare to the annoying frat boys or just the other dudes with a regular fashion sense. His hair was dark but it looked a little fried, as if it had been bleached already one too many times before. His white blouse was loose and tucked in at the waist, his black pants wide and reaching below his ankles. A thick belt was secured around the guyโs petit waist, and if you looked harder, you swore you could see a dark blue bow tied to it. His brown vest seemed to elevate the outfit even more, the pleated brown choker sitting at the base of his throat with a few other silver chains, a ruby pendant hitting his pecks as he was leaning against the counter lazily. His hip was jutted out and his painted nails tapped against the side of his head, cat-like eyes blinking slowly as he watched you. The hat he wore looked something like youโve only seen in Peaky Blinders, and for a second, you almost chuckled. He looked peculiar but not in a negative sense, itโs just that you havenโt seen someone like him stumble inside the pub before. He didnโt seem to belong with the crowd and that wouldโve been something youโd appreciate on any other day than today.
โI donโt think we were talking to you, no?โ The cocky man in front of you raised a mocking eyebrow at the other guy, and you rolled your eyes for a second. But before you could answer, the other guy did for you.
โYou threatened my game is better than yours?โ The artsy-looking guy asked with a chuckle, his tone was more on the higher side, and you found yourself not irked by it too much. But you werenโt here to have men measure their cocks by who can get the baristaโs phone number faster, so you interrupted them before they could piss you off even more.
โListen, fellas, I donโt have all night. What do you want?โ Your tone was sharp, straight to the point, and shut down all attempts at flirting as the man in front of you scoffed, shooting a dirty look at the peculiar-looking one. You tilted your head as the older man finally faced you, trying to downplay his irritation as he plastered on a charming smile again. It made your jaw tick again, but you said nothing more.
โDo you have whiskey?โ You were already reaching for the bottle of Whiskey before the man was finished talking, your other hand grabbing a glass as Hanni finally returned to the bar, her tray filled with dirty glasses.
โIโll just wash these and come help.โ She said as she passed by you and you nodded, filling the manโs glass with ice and whiskey, not too much but not too little either. Who even drinks Whiskey in a place like this one? But you didnโt care as long as heโd be out of your hair, so you placed the glass on the counter, but before you could tell the guy how much it was, he had already slid a bill on the counter, sauntering away. You grabbed it and pushed it into your fanny pack, taking a step back to take a deep breath. You could do this, Hanni was back and maybe you could ask her to cover for you for five minutes. A bathroom break was allowed at any time, after all. Your small moment, however, was interrupted by a scoff. You blinked your eyes open and looked towards where the sound came from, eyes narrowing when you realised the other guy was still lingering around.
โWhat a pig, he didnโt even tip you.โ You had to agree with his slurred words but instead walked over with an impassive expression. You werenโt here to be nice or to make friends, and you never failed to make it clear to your customers. These entitled dudes thought they could get your number and get in your pants with just a fewโfakeโnice words, you could confidently say you hated them all and that they made you wish you never again encountered their species. But alas, that wouldnโt happen tonight, so you headed over to the pompous guy, raising an eyebrow. He was intriguing, you couldnโt deny that, but you also knew not to mingle with guys who frequented the pub. So, even if one sparked your interest, at the end of the day, youโd still walk home alone and relish in the quiet of your room.
โWhat can I get for you?โ You tried to keep your tone level as your hip pressed into the counter, feet aching now even more. You were ready to chuck your damn boots at the wall and call it a night, but as Hanni flashed you her typical sweet smile, you knew you couldnโt leave her alone in the wolf's den. She was too sweet and too naรฏve, smiling and laughing along to the shitty jokes of the frat boys who were eyeing her up with little regard for the fact that she was visibly uncomfortable.
โSomething sweet like you.โ You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, telling yourself to keep your cool. He wasnโt saying anything offensive, unlike many other men, he just kept calling you sweet and pretty. That could be considered even nice, but not tonight.
โThe menu is literally behind me, you can choose anything from it.โ You pointed a finger behind yourself, where you knew the menu was hung high on the wall so that everyone could see it. The peculiar guy just gave you a look of confusion before looking past you, blinking his eyes lazily once again. You tapped your fingers against the counter, waiting for his choice, glad that you could take a breather now that nobody was crowding to get their drinks refilled. Hanni whizzed past you when she noticed a smaller group of girls approaching, her smile reaching her ears and already talking to them, beckoning them closer. Hanni was an excellent barista, she kept her customers entertained and always engaged with themโฆunlike you, but thatโs why your duo worked so well. You were the stoic one and she was the sunshine, but you were both quick on your feet so your boss couldnโt complain.
โUh, Iโll take a Cosmopolitan.โ The guy finally decided and you quirked an eyebrow, grabbing the shaker.
โThatโs not sweet.โ It was unlike you to make conversation, but the words were on the tip of your tongue so you couldnโt ignore them. The guy chuckled, letting his elbows rest on the counter as he placed his chin in his palms. Your eyes raised for a second to look at him, and you were taken aback by how cute he looked. But as he blinked slowly again, a small smile spreading onto his lips as he watched you, you quickly focused your attention on his Cosmo.
โI know, I was just trying to make you feel better.โ He sighed, tracing a manicured finger against the dirty counter. You had to clean that too. As you grabbed some olive to stash on a toothpick, you followed his finger with your eyes and noticed the two silver and shiny rings on his finger, his nail done a neon yellow with a black smiley face painted on top of it.
โWhat do you even knowโฆโ You scoffed to yourself, placing the martini glass on the counter for the guy to take. He was still looking at you, his eyes hazy, and you allowed yourself to take in his features. He had a petite and sharp nose, pretty and well-fitting with his sharp jawline and otherwise intimidating eyes if it wasnโt for the smile in them. His lips were more plump than thin with a pretty Cupidโs bow, slightly pouty as he gave you a small frown.
โWell, I bet you donโt plan on wasting your life away here.โ The way he spoke had an airy feel to it, as if he wasnโt really thinking before speaking, โAnd by the looks of it, it seems as if your degree didnโt take you too far as of now, which is not a big deal, people change their minds all the time.โ
Your eyebrows furrowed as the guy reached for his Cosmo, your fingers brushing together since you hadnโt retracted your hand yet. You ignored how warm his fingers felt, the softness of them as they lightly brushed against yours, โItโs just sad to see talented people waste their lives away in places like this one, you know? I mean, we all go to college to make something of ourselves, but then we end up in a dimly lit and smelly bar, selling alcohol to entitled pricks, forced to listen to their attempts at flirting, or them berating us for โnotโ doing our job. Sure, itโs honest work, but at the end of the day, when you walk home after an ungodly long shift, you still hate yourself, soโฆโ
Something in you broke at his last sentence, making you gulp hard. You still hate yourself, the guy had said with the most easy-going expression on his face, a slight smile pulling at his lips as he continued to blink lazily at you. What did he even know when he was clearly wearing designer clothes to a pub where alcohol could be spilt on you, among many other things? Who was he to assume you couldnโt do anything with your degree, rubbing it in your face that he knew people ended up like this when he clearly came from a rich background with all those accessories on him, his tone airy and almost mocking. Your jaw clenched again as you realised you had tears in your eyes, and your hand came down harshly on the counter as the guy slipped a bill towards you, way over the price of his damn Cosmopolitan.
โGo fuck yourself.โ You snapped as you threw the change back at him, watching his expression fall, his eyebrows raising comically high. You didnโt sit around to listen to him trying to get your attention again, you brushed past Hanni and leaned down to tell her that you needed five minutes. She gave you a worried look before nodding, letting you head to the bathroom as a few tears spilt down your cheeks. Today was complete shit, you couldnโt wait to get home and ignore all the responsibilities and problems you had. You were doing this for a better future, this was just a small fragment of your life, and it wouldnโt last forever. At least you really hoped so.
ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย You released a long sigh as the cool air hit your face, eyes stinging from the sudden coldness as the red backdoor slammed shut behind you. Hanni and you kept telling your boss to change the hinges, but he had more important things to take care of, of course. Stepping aside so that the door wouldnโt slam into your back if any staff member decided to come outside at this moment, you leaned against the cold wall, pushing your hands into your pockets. You didnโt bother grabbing your jacket, although you should have given the fact that your skin was now covered in goosebumps, teeth slightly chattering. It was always a whiplash coming outside from that parched pub, having to forcefully push through the bodies too busy to notice your approaching form. It was another busy night, the weekend was approaching so the students were coming in waves that the pub could barely house. Youโve been telling your boss that you should put a capacity limit, but he wouldnโt make as much money like that as he was making now, so of course, he said no. He was a greedy monster and he didnโt even try to hide it.
Just as you closed your eyes, you heard a loud tsk followed by a hiss, and your head jerked to the side, your eyes widening. You hadnโt realised there was someone else here with you, too taken by your own thoughts of wondering what youโd cook for dinnerโฆif you make it home at a decent hour, which was looking less and less likely to be. With your eyes narrowed and head turned, you tried to find the source where the sound had come from, eyebrows furrowing when you noticed someone crouched down right by the door, their head lowered over their knees. It wasnโt your business what anyone was doing, really, but if a client was feeling unwell and would need assistance, youโd feel guilty if you just walked away without a word. So, sighing to yourself, you pushed off the wall and took a few steps to approach the person, eyes taking in the black messy curls on the top of his head. The person had a baby mullet growing out, framing his pale nape. You cleared your throat and reached down, gently poking at the guyโs shoulder.
โHey, you good?โ You asked unsure, eyebrows furrowing when the guy grunted only. Tilting your head, you realised he was shielding his left hand, his right thumb trying to roll the sparkwheel of his lighter, but to no avail.
โYeah, this bloody thing wonโt work.โ The guy groaned, shaking his lighter as he tilted his head back, a hand-rolled cigarette hanging between his lips. Your eyes widened as you realised the face was familiar, having seen him just yesterday. The guyโs eyes looked innocent as they rounded, recognition flashing in his too. You gulped and straightened up, your expression slightly hardening as the guyโs harsh words from yesterday rang through your ears. He seemed pretty fine to you, but before you could step aside and go back inside, he spoke up.
โHi there, pretty barista.โ He then grinned, a lazy pull of his cherry-red lips, his tone easy. You didnโt expect him to be so easy-going after what you had said to him, but it almost looked like the guy wasnโt bothered by you cursing him outโฆmaybe he really wasnโt, โYou on a break?โ
You crossed your arms in front of your chest, watching as he struggled to get his lighter to work. You had one in your pocket, but you found a bit of satisfaction in watching him struggle. Maybe if he asked whether you had one, youโd let him use yours. But people who didnโt ask wouldnโt get help, thatโs what your father taught you, at least.
โObviously.โ You muttered matter of fact as the guy hummed, grinning wickedly when the lighter finally sparked to life, allowing him to light his cigarette. You watched as the flame danced in front of his face, making his dark eyes appear amber-like, sharper from this angle. You realised, alarmed, that you were appreciating his looks so you quickly stopped, looking away as the guy puffed out a whiff of smoke.
โYou want some?โ The guy asked, reaching his hand toward you as you eyed the cigarette, its smell hitting you. It was too herbal to be a normal cigarette, you belatedly realised as you watched the guy take another hit of his joint.
โWhatโs in it?โ You decided to ask, just to make sure. If you were wrong and it was a regular cigarette, maybe youโd accept a smoke. You didnโt usually smoke but you were still tired from yesterdayโs shift, and something that could loosen your nerves would be highly appreciated.
โGood stuff.โ The guy grinned, giggling even a little, and the sound almost put a smile on your lips, but you caught yourself in time and instead shook your head, pushing your hands into your pockets again.
โIโm working, so, no.โ The guy just hummed as he looked up at you again, taking a drag of his joint as you gulped and everted your eyes. It felt like he was gazing right through you and into your soul as your eyes had met, and given the fact that you were still butt-hurt over what he had said to you yesterday, you refused to look at him too longโฆyouโd only admire his beauty, either way. He wore a fuzzy yellow and pink sweater today, his brown dress pants looking way too thin for this weather, but the guy didnโt seem to mind. His nails stood out with their unique design, and he wore fewer rings today but more earrings than yesterday.
โHey, yesterdayโฆwhat I said at the bar, I didnโt mean to berate you.โ The guy gulped, his eyebrows furrowing as you looked back at him, slightly taken aback to see such sincerity on his face. Youโve never met someone so easily readable before, โMy intention wasnโt to hurt you, I was smoked out too so I was just running my mouth, I do that when Iโm high, sorryโฆโ
A beat of silence passed as the two of you shared an apprehensive look, making you bite your bottom lip. You cleared your throat and at last averted your eyes, kicking a few pebbles towards the guy without meaning to, โRight, I shouldnโt have cursed you out eitherโฆIโm sorry too, I guess.โ
The guy hummed, a smile slowly appearing on his lips before he took another drag of his cigarette, his eyes boring into yours again, โIโm glad the pretty barista doesnโt hate my guts anymore.โ
You have no idea what took over you, but your cheeks were suddenly flushing as if you had been noticed by your crush for the first time, your skin prickling. You werenโt one to care about the compliments your clients gave since most of them were only trying to get in your pants, but this guy seemed to be genuine. He didnโt try to hit on you, he was just calling you pretty, and it was getting to you. You hummed and turned towards the door, hand reaching out for the knob when suddenly the guy spoke again, โHumans are easily susceptible, you know? We judge without knowing first, and we rarely apologise and recognise our mistakes. I hate people like that, rude people for no reason too. I donโt stand for all that bullshit, so Iโm glad you told me to fuck myself instead of smiling at me like you do with all the other assholes. I appreciate your hard work, we all have to make due somehow and you arenโt less for working in this pub, pretty barista.โ
There he was again, making your chest feel heavy as you huffed, a sarcastic smile pulling at your lips. Once again, what did he know about you? Maybe you loved this damned job, maybe being a barista in a shitty pub has been your lifelong dream. You almost scoffed at yourself, eyes narrowing as the guy took more drags of his joint, seemingly waiting for an answer that you didnโt exactly want to give. But you didnโt want him to have the last word, much like yesterday, so you plastered on a sarcastic smirk, โThere you go again, blabbering your mouth when youโre smoked out.โ
You didnโt expect the guy to start laughing loudly, his head falling back as it landed against the wall, his eyes crinkling at the corners. You didnโt mean to gape, but he was beautiful and painfully honest, it was refreshing in a world full of fakeness. He was an intriguing person, and you wouldโve allowed yourself to become interested in him if only you had met in a different setting. With a hum and lingering eyes, you pushed the door open as the guy nodded at you in goodbye once he realised you were leaving for good. And with a faster beating heart, you willed yourself to focus on the few hours that you still had of your shift.
ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Itโs been quite a while since you had the chance to wake up at the crack of dawn without feeling tired, or without having to rush in for an early shift. Through hard work, you had earned these two days of break, and while you wished you had been given a full week, you made sure to utilise these two days wisely. You had always been an early bird, wishing to wake with the sun, opening your windows to hear the song of the birds, but it was too cold for them to hunker down in front of your window today. You didnโt mind, youโd take a stroll after your breakfast and check out the new art store thatโs opened not too far from your apartment. Youโve heard great things about it, the prices seemed to be reasonable, and it had an adjoint bookstore and a coffee shop as well. A quick check on the internet showed you just how cozy it was, so you thought you could buy a book from your to read list and settle down in the coffee shop. It sounded like a great plan to destress and forget for a bit about work and all the idiots that kept you up at night, quite literally.
Your scarf was thick as you buried your nose into it, trying to keep it warm from the cold chill of the early morning. The city was awake with you, orange sun rising on the horizon and blinding you as you were walking towards it, you couldnโt help but smile. It warmed your cheeks and body, feeling the sun on your skin during cold season always felt like a blessing, you would always relish in it as much as you could because you knew it wouldnโt last for long. You exhaled as your eyes remained squinted, watching the people around you as you walked towards your destination. Kids were rushing to school, parents by their sides guiding them, and traffic was as crazy as ever, impatient drivers honking and disturbing the little peace everyone had. You paid it no mind and felt thankful that you were able to wake up so early instead of just going to bed, all tired and wishing for your boss to fire you. But if he did fire you, you would be in trouble, so you didnโt actually wish for that to happen. And suddenly as you turned the corner, the guyโs words from the bar managed to ring through your ears once again. Working at the pub was just as much of an honest job as it wouldโve been working anywhere else.
You sighed, realising you were thinking about him again. Youโve been doing this a lot lately, letting your mind wander to his peculiar fashion sense and even more peculiar way of thinking. He seemed almost raw with his words and thoughts, unafraid to say them to your face. It was refreshing and intriguing, but you couldnโt let yourself be sidetracked right now. You had a purpose, and that was working until you had enough money to move away. If somehow a guy came into the picture right now, you felt like that would mess up all your plans and vision of the future. Under no circumstance would you stay here, but you knew your heart would betray you and try to keep you here for longer, with your lover. You didnโt even want to think of the guy as a potential love interest, you didnโt even know each other, so you shoved these thoughts to the back of your mind as you reached the art store, eyes widening at its exterior.
You havenโt seen anything quite like it before, the windows reached from ceiling to floor, a clear view of what was going on inside. There was a spiral staircase that led to the higher level which was littered with bookcases and low hanging retro chandeliers, bean bags spaced out on the floor as people sat around with books in their hands. To the right was the coffee shop with a separate entrance if you were only here for coffee, but you could also enter through the art store. And the art store was gorgeous as you made your way inside, the double doors opening easily. A sweet scent hit your nostrils as you walked further inside, your eyes wide as you took in the whole place. Paintings were hung on the walls, blank canvas placed underneath as many shelves housed all kinds of art supplies. The clerks were all smiley and they welcomed you warmly once they noticed your arrival. Maybe you could find a nicer workplace, something like this one. The workload seemed less strenuous and the people that came here to shop were less rowdy and rude. As much as you loved admiring the fine arts, you didnโt have the talent for drawing or painting, you could mess up even something as simple as a cloud. It was embarrassing, but arts have never been your forte, so you headed for the staircase to look for the book you had on your mind.
Navigating around the many shelves seemed a bit intimidating at first, but then you noticed they were sectioned on different genres, the tags hanging low from the ceiling with an arrow pointing towards the section to help you out. You smiled to yourself as you unrolled your scarf from around your neck, the warmth of the store helping your frozen fingers as you turned down a corner, two tall bookshelves on your sides. At the end of the row sat a younger girl with a manga in her hand, another one pressed to her lips as she seemed to be giggling. You felt yourself smile as you came near her, looking at the titles of the books. Asking for a clerk to help you find the book you were looking for wouldโve helped enormously, but you found yourself wanting to stroll around in the warmth, fingers grazing the spines of the books. The girl giggled just a bit louder and blushed when you glanced her way. This wasnโt a library, so she wasnโt disturbing anyone, but she was still mindful of those around her. You turned the corner once again, finding the High Fantasy section, having made your research beforehand, you knew you were in the right place. It took a bit more cruising down the row to finally find the book you were looking for, and you grinned when you found it, taking it off the shelf.
You thought about strolling around the store more just to discover it further, maybe they had cheap trinkets you could buy. You even thought about paying a visit the coffee shop as well, maybe they had one of your favourite patisserie delicacies. You wouldnโt turn down something sweet right now, you didnโt have a sweet tooth necessarily, but there were days when your cravings got the better of you. With that in mind, you headed back the way you had come, sneaking another glance at the younger girl as she gasped, manga now clutched tightly in both of her hands. You chuckled before you rounded the corner, now back on the main aisle that led to the spiral staircase. You noticed that most people who were inside the store looked to be college students, their outfits mismatched colours and patterns, hair coloured something vibrant as most of them had piercings you never even thought possible before. You really liked their style and found yourself staring at them, blushing when a girl caught you and raised an eyebrow before she smiled. You nodded your head and hurried down the stairs, flustered and a little embarrassed. They oddly reminded you of the guy from the bar, you thought heโd somehow fit right in with the people inside the store. It looked something heโd enjoy, not that you knew anything about him besides that he smoked weed, wasnโt afraid to speak his mind, and had a nice sense of fashion.
You were looking at the hard cover of your book as you got to the base of the staircase, taken by the pretty illustration and completely unaware that someone was headed straight towards you, just as taken by items in his hands as you were by your book. The collision couldโve been avoided if you both had been paying attention to where you were going, but alas, you gasped loudly as you felt a hard body collide into yours, items spilling loudly onto the floor. Your head shoot up, eyes wide as you looked at the equally startled man andโwait, it was the same guy from the bar! You gulped, suddenly feeling nervous as your cheeks burned, but the guy hadnโt noticed you yet as he had crouched down to collect his items off the floor. You felt bad and hoped the expensive palette on the ground hadnโt been broken, so you crouched down too and reached for it to inspect it. The guy still hadnโt quite noticed that it was you out of all people, but as you reached for the same brush, his head raised sharply. Your smile was apologetic as the guyโs eyes widened, recognition flashing on his face. This was the third time you met this week, the sheer coincidence of meeting outside the pub was a bit jarringโฆespecially since youโve been just thinking about him.
โPretty barista from the pub!โ He motioned towards you then chuckled, letting you pick up the brush. Your book was placed on the ground next to you so your hands were free to help.
โHi,โ Your voice came out a lot shier than you had intended it to be, and you chewed on your bottom lip awkwardly, โSorry about this, I wasnโt looking where I was going.โ
โDonโt worry,โ The guy chuckled, scooping up the small canvases, โI wasnโt either. If it makes you feel better, it was both of our faults.โ
You hummed and grabbed the last item off the floor, standing at the same time as the guy. His arms were filled with his items, and you wondered if you handed over the four in your hands how heโd be able to carry everything. Despite the cold weather outside, he was underdressed. He wore a simple turtleneck with a brown knitted vest over it, long flowy plants and mismatched tennis shoes. As you both stepped aside from the staircase to make way for others, you cleared your throat and averted your eyes once you realised you were staring again. But you hadnโt seen him wearing glasses before, and with the curly strands falling over his forehead, he didnโt only look handsome but cute as well.
โWhat brings you here?โ The guy made conversation as you tried to figure out how to hand him his items without making him drop them all again, โI say this without meaning to be rude, but you seem like the last person whoโd be interested in art.โ
You huffed, not bothered by his honesty, โWhile that statement is incorrect, Iโm not here due to the art section of the store. I was looking for a book.โ
โRight!โ He exclaimed, glancing down at his own chest, โOh, sorry, you can hand me those, I can carry them!โ
โAre you sure?โ You asked as he nodded enthusiastically, so you complied. You stepped closer to place the other four items in his arms, watching as he clinched the smaller canvas underneath his chin to keep it from falling. You wouldโve laughed and offered to help until he got himself a bag or something, but the guy looked pretty content like this. Like it wasnโt his first time doing thisโฆ
โAre you collecting them?โ The guyโs incomplete question left you raising a confused eyebrow at him, โSorry, I saw youโre buying The Hobbit. Itโs a pretty famous reprint, the covers are gorgeous, my best friend is collecting them so I assumed you are too.โ
You glanced down at the book in your hand and bit your bottom lip, trying to brush off your embarrassment. Why were you feeling like this all of a sudden? It made no sense, but you didnโt want to leave a bad impression on the guyโฆeven though his perception of you might already be fucked since this wasnโt your first time meeting.
โIโve, uh, so, uhm, I have a to read list for books Iโve never read while growing up, so now I have a little tradition that I buy a book from the list each month and read it.โ You spoke quickly, avoiding eye contact as the guy listened to your ramble. His intake of breath was sharp and you chanced a glance at his face, finding his eyes wide and his mouth rounded.
โWait. Are you saying you havenโt read The Hobbit before?!โ He sounded incredulous and alarmed, and your cheeks grew hot once again, actually managing to sour your mood a bit. Not having read the book didnโt make you less by any means, but you had a feeling this guy was well-versed in literature, so it felt like a jab and even a subtle scrutinising.
โYeah, not everyone likes reading while growing upโฆโ Your tone grew cold and voice snappish as you continued to avoid eye contact, looking towards the front desk so that maybe the guy would get the hint that you were done with this conversation. But it didnโt actually surprise you that he continued speaking without noticing you didnโt want to keep conversing anymore.
โThatโs totally cool, my brother hated comic books growing up and now heโs obsessed with them.โ The guy chuckled, expression innocent and tone genuinely excited, โI think youโll love the book, itโs filled with adventure and otherworldly creatures. Itโs a nice step back from our grim reality, I feel like you need that right now.โ
Okay, there he was assuming again that he could justโฆpsychoanalyse you or whatever, โCan you stop doing that? Iโm not a painting you can interpret to your liking.โ
The guy blinked, face going blank before his cheeks flushed, his gaze averted now from yours, โIโฆhave I been doing it all this time?โ
โEver since weโve met.โ Your answer was sharp and quick and the guy blushed even more.
โOh, sorry, I justโฆIโll stop doing that,โ Then he smiled awkwardly and held eye contact with you, โIโm Hongjoong, by the way, I donโt remember introducing myself.โ
Because he hadnโt. You repeated his name in your head, finding yourself liking the sound of it, it seemed like a fitting name for him. You hummed, extending your hand.
โIโm Y/N.โ But you and Hongjoong glanced down at your extended hand and then his occupied ones at the same time, chuckles leaving your mouths as he seemed flustered.
โIโm shake your hand the next time we see other.โ
โIf there will be a next time.โ
โI quite like the pub you work at, pretty barista.โ You cleared your throat and avoided looking at him because as corny as it was, it kind of made your heart flutter. What was happening? The chiming of the doorbell reminded you that it was time you left and took care of other errands you had in your schedule, but before you could say goodbye to Hongjoong, he asked a question that took you off guard, โWanna grab a cup of coffee with me?โ
Then he turned sideways, nodding towards the adjoined cafรฉ, and you hesitated for a second. You could actually slip in a little time to have coffee with him, but you felt reluctant. You had met him at the pub, after all, and you still couldnโt decide what type of person he was. Of course, he was handsome, and so far, has showed a good character, but there were little moments when he somehow managed to ruin everything with his words. And he was still a complete stranger, so, listening to your rational mind, you slowly shook your head.
โI donโt like coffee, but thanks!โ Your smile was easy, Hongjoongโs face morphed into something knowing as he hummed with a nod.
โSure, Iโm glad I caught you here.โ Then, as you were about to take off, he added, โThe pretty barista now has a name, I can say my morning was successful.โ
You tried to huff and look irked, but the blush betrayed you. You just shook your head before heading for the front desk, โGoodbye, Hongjoong.โ
โSee ya!โ His smile was radiant as he turned around and headed for the cafรฉ instead, and you realised he was underdressed because he had come from the coffee shop, his things already there. And with Hongjoong on your mind, you followed his distinctive walk as he sauntered over to his table with an elegancy yet swagger you hadnโt seen before.
ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย Now, a week ago you probably would have said no to a preposition that involved you following home a complete stranger whose name you had known for a maximum of four days, but tonight had been literal shit and you were on the verge of tears when Hongjoong had sauntered over to the bar, his Chesire like smile blinding. You had one more hour left of your shift and youโd be clocking out, not even staying behind to help Hani clean up. Your cramps were terrible and a guy who hit on you for the whole night had spilt his drink on your favourite blouse, calling you a bitch as well for shunning him away, so, when you saw Hongjoong approach the bar with mischief in his eyes, you were ready to scream at him and tell him to get lost. Except that you didnโt do all that because his question completely threw you off guard.
โY/N, do you like art?โ He had a rolled-up joint resting at his ear, his hair pulled to the side and clipped back with colourful hair clips. Your laugh that bubbled past your lips sounded incredulous and tired, but you nodded.
โI do, do you want something to drink?โ Hongjoong shook his head, leaning across the bar despite it being wet from spilt alcohol.
โWhen does your shift end?โ
โIn an hour.โ
โWanna see some of my art?โ Then Hongjoong grinned, looking proud of himself, โIโm a painter.โ
Something came over you and didnโt even let you ponder over your decision, โDo you have weed?โ
The answer was obvious as you glanced at the joint and Hongjoong laughed, tilting his head in a way that sharpened his features under the neon lights of the pub.
โObviously, got some on me right now. Want some?โ Not while you were working, afterwards, however, you were free to do whatever.
โAfter my shift, yeah.โ
โCool, Iโll meet you in the back. See ya.โ
And thatโs how you ended up at Hongjoongโs apartment, not even ten minutes away from the pub. Your feet ached and your cramps were so bad you felt like doubling over and emptying your already empty stomach, but you tried to hold yourself together in front of Hongjoong. There was a nervous flutter in your chest as you had followed him up the steel staircase, the building old and dodgy. However, the second you walked inside his studio apartment, it felt like you had entered a different realm. He was the true definition of an artist, you came to realise, with canvas strewn around the apartment, most finished but some blank, oil paint tainting the wooden floor and even the walls. The colours were neutral, beige with a slip of sage green here and there, the curtains sheer and pulled to the side as Hongjoong hurried over to the windows to push them open. There was an earthy smell in the air mixed with something sweet like vanilla, and you couldnโt help but marvel at the cosiness of Hongjoongโs studio. You recognised a few prints on the walls, they were the paintings of well-known painters who no longer lived, and the dรฉcor Hongjoong had used was rather vintage than modern. His huge wardrobe was open, and he pushed the door closed with little care as he picked up a hoodie off the floor. You were surprised he even owned one of those.
You flinched when it collided against your head, confused as to why he had thrown it at you. Hongjoong chuckled as he shrugged his coat off, trying to tidy his messy bed but quickly giving up when he realised you didnโt look like you cared. Truthfully, your apartment wasnโt in a better shape, the dishes in the sink had been there for three days and your bathroom was in dire need of a deep clean.
โWe canโt smoke weed with closed windows, so itโll get colder.โ Hongjoong suddenly explained, shrugging on a cardigan that looked very soft, โWear my hoodie, itโll keep you warm.โ
You hummed, glancing down at it before you stepped out of your shoes, shrugging your jacket off and wearing the hoodie. Its scent was sweet but potent with something musky, and you blushed as your nose buried into its fabric, drinking in its soft material.
โMake yourself feel at home!โ Hongjoong grinned, walking over to the small kitchen section to grab two cups, โDo you want tea?โ
You shook your head as you walked towards the small bean bag, pushing it with your leg to try and get it more gathered together. And then, just as you were about to sink into the chair, you heard a faint sound come from the kitchen. You turned your head and were met with a small black creature blinking at you in wonder.
โYou have a cat?โ You asked in surprise, staring back at the little pet. Hongjoong chuckled, looking down at his pet as the electric kettle started whistling.
โIs it so surprising? I found him near a dumpster a few years ago, heโs been by my side ever since.โ You couldnโt help but gaze at Hongjoong with admiration as he spoke, pouring hot water into his cup for the tea, โHis name is Woo โcuz he reminds me of my friend. They are both rascals and really loud.โ
As if on cue, the cat meowed loudly and you chuckled, finally easing yourself into the bean bag. Your lower back protested and your spine cracked as you allowed yourself to lean back, arching your back. You couldโve cried at the relief, thankful to finally be off your feet. You couldnโt wait for the weed, it would dull your cramps and help you ease up after the day youโve had. You were probably in dire need of a shower since you smelled like alcohol, but you didnโt feel comfortable showering at a guyโs place you barely knew. Which, now that you thought more about it, realisation started setting in. You werenโt too smart for following Hongjoong home, but he had never creeped you out, so you decided to give him the benefit of the doubt tonight. You stared at the cat as Hongjoong mixed honey into his berry-flavoured tea, the warm mist hogging up his glasses. The cat, still at Hongjoongโs side, stared back at you and then slowly walked towards you, its head tilted in wonder. You smiled at it and let it smell your fingers, taking you off guard when it unceremoniously climbed into your lap, starting to make biscuits against your lower abdomen.
โAh, of course, youโre already in the lap of the pretty barista.โ Hongjoong mused with an amused smile on his lips, โYou take after Wooyoung more than one would think.โ
You had no idea who this Wooyoung guy was, but it sounded like he was a flirt if Hongjoong wasnโt bluffing.
โI like your apartment,โ You blurted out as you started petting the cat, smiling down at it when it started purring, โItโs got character, much like you.โ
โThatโs the first time you said something completely honest to me.โ Your eyebrows furrowed as you looked up at Hongjoong, the joint from his ear now gone as he grabbed some matches to light it up. You didnโt think that was true, but you didnโt say anything as Hongjoong came nearer, sitting down on the floor across from you. You looked at him as he took a long whiff of his joint, then extended his arm for you to take the weed. Itโs been quite a while since you smoked any, you knew it would hit you faster, but you hoped it wasnโt too strong or youโd become sick. You took a careful drag of it as Woo settled into a slumber in your lap, and the earthy taste of it made you grimace. But you kept the smoke in your lungs for a bit before exhaling, taking another drag as Hongjoong watched you with a lazy smile. He looked soโฆhandsome. Youโve had a few days to yourself to think about Hongjoong after your encounter in the art store, and you realised you were attracted to him. It was mostly physical since you liked his looks, but his brutally honest character also had you intrigued even if youโd get offended at times by what he was saying.
โI find it hilarious that you decided to come home with me after you declined to have coffee.โ Your eyes met Hongjoongโs quickly just as you were about to hand over the joint, โDo you really donโt drink coffee? Or did you just want to get rid of me that day?โ
โIโฆโ You licked your lips as Hongjoong took the joint from you, grinning as he took a long drag once again, โBoth, actually. I justโฆI donโt know you well enough and weโve also met at the pub, I donโt like meddling with clients. Those frat boys are horny and only want to sleep with me.โ
โGood thing Iโm not a frat boy then, right, Woo?โ Hongjoong grinned and ruffled the slumbering catโs fur, looking back at you with an understanding look, โIโll be done with my masterโs degree in just a few months.โ
You hummed, picking at the sleeve of Hongjoongโs hoodie before you saw the joint handed to you again, โAnd after that? What do you plan on doing?โ
Suddenly, Hongjoong had a pensive look on his face as he leaned back on his arms, staring up at the ceiling. You took shorter drags of the joint now but kept the smoke in your lungs until it started burning.
โI want to travel the world, visit art galleries and drink a lot of expensive wine.โ That didnโt sound bad at all, Hongjoong continued before you could tell him, โItโs hard breaking into the industry as a painter even though some realtors have already approached me to buy my paintings and put them on display.โ
โAnd? What did you say to them?โ You felt genuinely curious, the cat sighed loudly in your lap and Hongjoong looked at you two, reaching out for the joint. Your fingertips brushed together and Hongjoongโs hands felt too cold, but you didnโt comment on it.
โI turned them down,โ Hongjoong smiled, but it looked almost sad before he shrugged, taking a drag, โI donโt want just anyone owning my creations. I want someone who understands whatโs on that canvas to contact me, I want someone who genuinely loves art and isnโt just doing it for the money. Itโs hard to find people like that nowadays, but Iโm willing to wait as long as it takesโฆeven if that makes me broke.โ
Hongjoong scoffed out a chuckle, sounding bitter by the end of his sentence. For someone who was so good at reading others and commenting on their lives, Hongjoong seemed to be having his own demons he had to fight. You hummed, closing your eyes for a second as you felt your muscles ease up, your cramps less torturous. You were glad the weed was slowly kicking in, your cramps wouldโve had you crying if not.
โSo how do you plan on travelling if you have no money?โ Maybe the question was insensitive, but you were curious. Hongjoong didnโt take offence as he smiled, looking at you with sparkling eyes.
โThere are art courses all around the world, I might sign up for one and leave, never look backโฆโ
โDo you hate it here?โ The question tumbled past your lips before you could stop yourself, โBecause I donโt.โ
Hongjoong didnโt look surprised as he nodded, handing back the joint so you could finish it. Three drags and it would be gone, so you took your time savouring it.
โItโs not the worst, but I donโt see much of a future for myself here.โ So, Hongjoong was just like you then, โWhen are you leaving?โ
โHow did you know?โ You sounded shocked as Hongjoong shrugged, averting his eyes.
โYou and I are rather similar, you just fail to see it, Y/N.โ Well, maybe he was right, maybe he wasnโt. You couldnโt read Hongjoong as well as he could read you, you needed more time to feel out his character.
โSix months and Iโm out of here, never to come back if lifeโs kind to me.โ Your voice was quiet as you didnโt look at Hongjoong, smoke wafting through your lips as you finished the joint. Hongjoong hummed, a low and warm sound, as he reached for the stud to take it from you. Your fingers brushed together once again, and you looked at Hongjoong when he held your wrist.
โYouโre stronger than you think, youโll make it big out there, Y/N, have more faith in yourself.โ You found yourself smiling now, head a little hazy as you nodded, finding it easier to believe whatever Hongjoong told you.
โYouโre the artist between the two of us, youโre the one supposed to make it big.โ Hongjoong chuckled and stood, headed for the kitchen.
โCanโt we both make it big?โ He raised an eyebrow as he threw the stud away, turning around to face you. You hummed, not entirely agreeing with him, but you decided to nod. Then, Hongjoong turned towards where his bed was and grinned, โYouโre here to see some art, no?โ
โRight, I almost forgot about that.โ Hongjoong chuckled, then beckoned you over. You grabbed the cat in your lap and pressed a kiss against its small head, placing it on the bean bag in your spot. Your feet felt light as you headed towards Hongjoong, who had sauntered over to the desk pressed up against the wall underneath the open windows. He turned the small lamp on, and suddenly you were looking at small canvases filled with colour and abstract shapes. Somehow they looked like an organised mess, even in the overflowing swirl of colours, you managed to find a pattern that seemed to never end like a loop. You turned your head to look at Hongjoong, and suddenly you realised his art was a perfect reflection of who he was.
โI can tell you made these.โ Perhaps phrasing it like that was offensive, but Hongjoong only looked curious. He hummed, raising an eyebrow.
โHow come?โ His voice was quiet, curious.
โI can see you in these.โ You pointed at the canvas with orange and yellow as the more prominent colours, circling a deep blue that looked almost black, โThe blue is you at your core, dark and perhaps scared of the world. And then all that orange and yellow? I think thatโs how you see the world, how you wish it treated you, hoping it would lighten all that darkness that looms over you all the time. And this one? I wonder if it was a coincidence you hid so many infinity symbols in the background, this burgundy is gorgeous, by the way. I think everyone is afraid of disappearing without leaving a trace of themselves in this fucked up world, and I actuallyโฆI admire you for being so honest and straightforward, very few people are like you.โ
Hongjoongโs eyebrows were furrowed the longer you spoke, but he remained silent as you smiled, looking down at the white canvas, unfinished but with light blue swirls creating the illusion of a clear sky, โI wonder what this will turn into. So far, it reminds me of serenity, of the calm before a storm. Lifeโs like that too, donโt you think? Itโs quiet and gentle, and then it turns into a scary thing that can destroy us if we let it.โ
Hongjoong just gulped, his eyes clouded but his heart racing. He was positive no one had been able to interpret his art for what it was before, and he wondered how much of him you could see through his eyes if you could read so well what the trail of his brush had left on a blank canvas. It made him feel seen like never before, not even his biggest supporter, Wooyoung, could see beyond Hongjoongโs intentions when he sat down to paint, to tell the world his pain and rage, yearning for someone to just finally see him.
โYouโreโฆโ Hongjoong gulped, his throat feeling dry as you smiled at him, curious if youโd been right, โYou are a person I should cherish more from now on.โ
Your eyebrows raised in surprise, your heart skipping a beat once again. What did he mean by saying that? You wanted to ask, but Hongjoong stepped closer, his tone breathy as he spoke up again, โโWhoever wants to know something about me โ as an artist which alone is significant โ they should look attentively at my pictures and there seek to recognize what I am and what I wantโโฆthatโs what Gustav Klimt once said. And so far, you are the only person whoโs managed to do that.โ
Your mouth gaped open, and you both heard Woo stretch and meow loudly, his soft footsteps loud as he walked towards Hongjoongโs bed, jumping up and finding a new spot to sleep. You didnโt know what to say back to that, but you felt your heart race as your cheeks flushed, shy all of a sudden. Hongjoong was looking at you with a softness no man has looked at you with, it was a bit hard to take it all in without freaking yourself out that this wasnโt real, that it was just the weed, or that maybe Hongjoong wasnโt as genuine as his expression showed.
โY/N,โ You didnโt flinch when his hand wrapped around your wrist, his tone still soft, โI think you already know that I find you pretty, and IโฆI might have gone to that dingy pub for so long just to see you, actually.โ
Those words had your heart racing even wilder as you looked up, finding Hongjoongโs face closer to yours as his eyes now bore into yours, โI shouldโve been more specific when I asked you to have coffee with me. I meant to ask you out on a date, but I panicked because I knew I had slightly upset you, butโฆโ
He gulped nervously and you felt so curious to hear what more he had to say, perhaps a smile would encourage him, so thatโs what you did, offered him a small friendly smile. He released a breath and cleared his throat, his hand slipping from your wrist to your hand, โCan I kiss you?โ
If this was anyone else but Hongjoong, your answer would have been an instant no. But the longer you looked into his eyes, the more excited and giddy you felt, so you just nodded your head and licked your lips, trying to ignore the deep flush of your cheeks. Hongjoong chuckled, suddenly looking shy, but he started leaning in, his eyes fluttering closed just as your lips met. It was careful, it was sweet and it made your heart roar as you stepped just a bit closer, your noses brushing together as your lips moved slowly and carefully, mostly just testing out the waters. Hongjoongโs lips were soft and sweet, and surprisingly didnโt taste like weed but like peaches. You wondered if he used any sort of lip balm to have them taste like that. His hand settled on your cheek and he gently caressed your cheekbone with his thumb, making your heart roar once again. Itโs been long since someone had treated you with such gentleness, and you told yourself to remain level-headed, but it would be just so easy to fall in love with Hongjoong. You couldnโt help but smile as you two pulled apart, Hongjoong tried to hide his own grin as he sucked his lips together, but his eyes gave him away. You chuckled and he giggled, and suddenly you felt the urge to pull him into a hug.
โSo,โ He cleared his throat as he let his arms rest around your torso loosely, โIf you donโt like coffee, what do you like?โ
โDelicious cakes.โ You didnโt hesitate to answer and Hongjoong chuckled, patting your head.
โWell then, would you like to go on a delicious cake-hunting date with me?โ You closed your eyes to contain your excitement, but the weed had not only eased your muscles but your always worrying mind as well.
โYes!โ You didnโt mean to squeal, but it was hard not to when Hongjoong startled giggling sweetly once again, nodding his head.
โGood, Iโll make sure we find the best spots in the city then.โ
And perhaps not just in the city, but also in foreign countries while you attended Hongjoongโs art expositions, an expensive bottle of wine waiting for the two of you back at the hotel.
|genre: ex-husband! mingi. ex-wife! reader. angst.
|mentions: divorce (mingi and reader). accident. temporary amnesia. seonghwa appearance in this. it mentions a lot of rain-- aftermath of the rain.
summary: After a tragic accident, Mingi's life inexplicably rewinds six years into the past. Believing he is still living in those days, he calls out to youโhis ex-wifeโconvinced that you're still by his side as his partner.
word count: 19.8k
Your days dragged like a snail navigating barbed wireโslow, agonizingly slow and painfully. Each moment felt stretched thin, a painful reminder of the life you used to know.ย
Placing your bag down on the couch as you make your way towards the kitchen and pull out the wine from the cabinet. Taking your favorite glass as you returned back to the living room.
Time had lost its meaning, blending one day into the next like an endless gray fog. Tonight was no different. You found yourself perched on the windowsill, a half-filled wine glass balanced between your fingers. The city outside pulsed with its usual rhythmโlights flickering on and off in distant buildings, traffic lights cycling from green to yellow to red and back again. It was all so mindlessly repetitive, yet you sat there, watching as if the monotony might somehow offer solace.
But it never did.
Your eyes, hollow and unfocused, stayed fixed on the scene outside as you took another slow sip. The wine, bitter and stale, barely registered on your tongue. This nightly ritual had become an empty habitโa way to pass the hours until sleep claimed you. Most nights, you didnโt even finish the glass before slipping into bed, leaving it abandoned on the windowsill like an afterthought.
Tonight was no exception. With a sigh that felt heavy in your chest, downing the last bits of your wine before you stood and shuffled to the kitchen. The sound of running water echoed in the quiet as you rinsed the glass, the coldness of the tap biting at your fingertips. It was only as you placed it on the drying rack that you heard itโthe shrill, invasive ring of your phone coming from the bedroom.
Your head snapped toward the sound, your brows knitting together in faint confusion. Phone calls this late were rare, and never good. Reminding you of what happened six years ago. A simple sigh, still, you dried your hands on your pants as you made your way to the nightstand. Titling your head to read the caller.
Unknown number.
Your stomach twisted, a subtle unease creeping into your chest. With a hesitant swipe, you answered, lifting the phone to your ear. "Hello?"
Your voice sounded foreign to youโraspy, unused, and weary.
"Is this Mrs. Song?"
The words hit you like a slap. For a moment, you froze, the air in your lungs turning cold. You blink several times, clearing your throat in the process. "You must have the wrong number," you said quickly, your voice tight. "Look, Iโm not in the moodโ"
"Is this number 010242018?"
A chill ran down your spine. Your heart stuttered, then picked up in an erratic rhythm. "Yes... Yes, thatโs my number. Who is this?" There was a pause, a moment heavy with something you couldnโt quite nameโcomforting, desperate, yet utterly unsettling.
"Iโm sorry for the sudden call, maโam, but weโd like to formally address this at Medic Hospital."
Your breath caught. The glassy haze of your evening shattered as your mind raced. "What? What happened? Whoโs hurt?"
"One of our patients woke up just today and is asking for you. They gave us your name and number."
For a brief moment, you considered ending the callโbrushing it off as a mistake or a cruel prank. But something in the callerโs tone, in the way your name had been spoken, compelled you to stay on the line.
"Who is it?" Your voice wavered, your grip on the phone tightening.ย
The answer came, cutting through the air like a blade, regret washes over you as soon as you heard who it was.
"Song Mingi. He said youโre his wife."
The words slammed into you, knocking the breath from your chest. Your knees felt weak, your stomach churning as if the ground had fallen out from under you. The name that haunted your dreams, the one that turned your days into an endless loop of heartbreak, was suddenly backโalive and demanding your attention.
And just like that, the numbness shattered, leaving only the raw ache of everything you had lost.
You could have told the caller that you were no longer his wifeโex-wife, to be precise. That he had remarried and moved on, leaving behind the pieces of what once was. It would have been easier, cleanerโa way to shield yourself from the storm of heartbreak you knew was waiting to engulf you.
You could have told them to call someone else his best friend since middle school, or band mates, his familyโanyone who had more right than you to be by his side now.ย
But you didnโt.
Somewhere between the logical protests of your mind and the aching emptiness in your chest, your body betrayed you. Your feet moved, your heart thudded, and your brain chose silence over sense. Before you knew it, you were standing at the hospitalโs reception desk, a name on your lips that felt foreign and bitter, like a taste you hadnโt revisited in years.
โSong Mingi,โ you murmured, the syllables trembling as if they carried the weight of every sleepless night and unspoken thought. The name that brought has opened so many wounds that you have soullessly stitched back, how many times you closed your eyes and his crescent smile appeared before you, and the amount of tears youโve cried silently that night he decided to step out of the door. Without looking back.
The nurse at the desk looked up, her face a mixture of concern and relief. She exchanged a glance with the doctor beside her before both of them rose to meet you.
โMrs. Songโฆโ
The title hit you like a knife, sharp and precise, cutting through whatever composure you had managed to muster. You raised a hand quickly, shaking your head as if to ward off the name. โNo. No, thatโs not me. Iโm justโฆ Iโm just a friend.โ The words felt heavy, a weak shield against the truth pressing against your ribs. โCall me Tulip.โ
The nurseโs brows furrowed, glancing at the doctor as if silently questioning your response. But she didnโt pry. Instead, she nodded and gestured for you to follow.
โLetโs discuss the situation in my office, Miss Tulip,โ she said, her voice calm and professional.
You followed her through the sterile hallways, your pulse pounding in your ears with every step. The name youโd chosenโTulipโfelt like a flimsy mask, a desperate attempt to separate the person you were now from the woman you had been when the name Mrs. Song was yours.
But no matter how hard you tried, the memories surged forward.
Each step toward the nurseโs office felt heavier, as if the weight of the past was dragging you down. And yet, some stubborn part of you carried on, pushing through the pain, the questions, and the overwhelming sense of dread.
Because no matter how much it hurt, you had to know.
โโฆSo, heโs suffering from retrograde amnesia due to the impact on his brain, and his memory only stretches back to six years ago?โ you repeated, your voice strained with disbelief.
The doctor nodded, adjusting her computer screen to show you the MRI results alongside the CT scan evaluation. The bright, clinical display only deepened the pit forming in your stomach.
โWhat about hisโฆโ The words clawed at your throat, desperate to escape yet refusing to form. Your lips parted, trembling as if even uttering the phrase would break you further. The doctor, noticing your visible struggle, finished the sentence for you, her tone gentle but firm, โHis wife is still unconscious. Thereโs no telling whenโor ifโshe will wake up, unlike Mr. Song.โ
The room felt like it had shifted, tilting slightly, leaving you grasping for something to steady yourself. That wordโwifeโhit you like a punch to the gut, sharp and unrelenting. You blinked rapidly, your throat tightening as you tried to suppress the surge of emotions rising within you.ย
โI see,โ you finally muttered, your voice hoarse and barely audible. The phrase was hollow, void of meaning, as if saying it would distance you from the gravity of the situation.
The doctor continued to watch you carefully, her face a mask of professional composure, though her eyes betrayed a flicker of sympathy. But no amount of sympathy could soften the blow or untangle the knots forming in your chest. Unconscious. His wife. You swallowed hard, the bitter taste of those words lingering on your tongue, a cruel reminder of the distance between what once was and what could never be again.
You exhaled sharply, rubbing your forehead as the weight of the situation bore down on you. โDo his parents know about thisโฆโ You waved your hand in a circular motion, grasping for the right word. โโฆmess?โ
The doctor let out a weary sigh, leaning back in her chair. โYes. His parents are fully aware. Theyโve asked if it would aid Mr. Songโs recovery to stay with someone familiarโsomeone who might help stabilize his sense of self until his memory returns.โ
Your brow furrowed, and you crossed your arms, a clear โwhat-does-that-have-to-do-with-meโ expression etched on your face. Silence filled the room, heavy and oppressive, broken only by the faint hum of the hospitalโs fluorescent lights.
The doctor took another measured breath, removing her glasses and setting them on the desk. Her eyes met yours with a seriousness that made your chest tighten. โWhile itโs true that his memory loss is temporary, thereโs something else you need to know.โ
The pause stretched uncomfortably long, and you felt the air shiftโthe kind of moment where you instinctively knew what was coming but still prayed you were wrong.
โHe could stay with his family, it is every patient's right to choose and that would be more than enough for his recovery,โ she continued, her tone careful. โBut Mr. Songโฆโ She hesitated, as though the next words would solidify an irreversible reality. โโฆhas specifically requested to stay with you. He acknowledges his parents but insists that he needs you. His wife.โ
Your heart lurched violently at the word, an invisible dagger twisting in a wound youโd spent years trying to heal.
โNo,โ you whispered, barely able to keep your voice steady. You clenched your fists, knuckles whitening as you tried to ground yourself. โThatโs a mistake. Heโฆhe knows Iโm notโฆโ You trailed off, the word wife too bitter to say out loud.
The doctorโs gaze didnโt waver. โTo him, you still are. His memory hasnโt reached the point where he remembers anything beyond that.โ
You felt like the walls were closing in, the carefully constructed defenses around your heart beginning to crumble. The reality of his condition pressed against your chest, suffocating, as the doctorโs words echoed in your mind.
โHe still thinks Iโm his wife.โ
A low groan escaped your lips as your hands tangled in your hair, the frustration clawing its way to the surface. You had every right to feel this way. Six years ago, life had been entirely different. Six years ago, you and Mingi were a newly married couple, barely a month into your union. It was the first year of 2019, and you both believed tying the knot of a new year would make it all the more specialโa symbolic start to a lifetime of shared milestones and growing together.
The memories came rushing back, unbidden and relentless. The dates that turned into adventures, the quiet evenings spent in each other's arms, and the tender, intimate moments that spoke of love deeper than words could ever convey. All of it played out like scenes from a movie you couldn't pause, set within the walls of the house he bought for both of youโa house meant to hold your dreams, your laughter, and your forever.
Now, here you were, forced to relive it all, the continuation of your adventure begins on the month of your marriage and throughout the years left such significant memories to the both of you. Every moment, every memory, was like a jagged shard piercing through the fragile layers of healing you'd painstakingly built over the years. The metaphorical scab that had formed over your wound was being peeled away, piece by agonizing piece, leaving the pain raw and exposed once more.
Your chest tightened as the weight of it bore down on you. How could something so beautiful, so filled with love, now feel like a ghost haunting you with the echoes of what youโd lost?
DAY 1:
The door clicked shut behind you as you stepped inside your small apartment, your movements heavy, like an anchor tied to your ankle. You flipped on the lights, the soft glow illuminating the modest yet warm space. Stepping aside, you gestured Mingi in, giving him room to take in his surroundings.
He lingered in the entryway, his eyes darting around the room. A faint smile tugged at his lips as he noted the simplicity of it allโcozy, unassuming, you. Yet, beneath the surface, his heart twisted, a subtle ache he couldnโt place.
โItโsโฆ nice,โ he said softly, his gaze sweeping across the room once more. His steps faltered when he realized what was missing. The walls were bare, the shelves sparsely decorated. No framed pictures of you and him. Not a single trace of the life you had built together.
His heart sank, and a small pout formed on his lips. โDid we move?โ His voice carried a hint of sadness, as though the realization was too heavy to mask. You froze for a moment, gripping the edge of the kitchen counter. Turning to face him, you forced a casual smile. โYeah,โ you lied smoothly, though your voice wavered slightly. โYeah, we did. Work, you know? I had to relocate to be closer to the office. Iโm stillโฆ in the process of unpacking.โ
His brows furrowed, his head tilting slightly, but he didnโt press further. Instead, he simply nodded, a faint shadow of disappointment crossing his face. โOhโฆ okay.โ
The weight of his gaze followed you as you busied yourself preparing a snack. It wasnโt just the lie that gnawed at youโit was the memories. The house he had bought for both of you, the home that once felt like a sanctuary, now a distant, painful echo of what could have been.
Placing the snacks on the table, you glanced at him. He sat on the couch, his broad shoulders hunched slightly, his fingers grazing the armrest absentmindedly. It was as if he was searching for a comfort he couldnโt find. You sat across from him, handing him a glass of water. His fingers brushed yours as he took it, sending a familiar warmth through your skin. โThank you,โ he murmured, his voice quiet yet sincere.
โDonโt mention it,โ you replied, your tone light, masking the storm raging inside you. You could feel his gaze lingering on you, searching for answers you werenโt ready to give.You focused on the small momentโsharing a quiet snack, pretending the weight of the past wasnโt suffocating both of you. It was all you could do to hold it together.
A thought hit you like a freight train once you offered to clean up (even though Mingi insisted). You only had a week. A week to help him recover, to guide him through this fragile state. After that, if it felt too much on your plate, his family would step in, as they had promised during that difficult phone call. They had been kind, their gratitude genuine, despite the invisible scars you bore from the past.
The understanding that this arrangement was temporary didnโt bring relief. It only deepened the ache in your chest.ย
That night marked the beginning of something fragile and undefinedโday one.
You had already marinated some pork earlier, intending to have your usual samgyeopsal for dinner, the plans for yourself were last minute change on the sudden changes of event. But knowing how your landlord frowned upon cooking indoors, you decided to take everything up to the rooftop. The cool evening air would help clear your head, or so you hoped.
Mingi, ever the helpful presence, joined you in setting up. His broad hands moved with a quiet purpose as he arranged the small table and chairs beneath the soft glow of the hanging orange bulbs strung across the rooftop. The lights swayed gently in the night breeze, casting warm shadows across the space.
You took charge of the grill, laying strips of marinated pork neatly across the metal grate. Now, the pork sizzled on the grill as you placed the strips carefully next to each other. The faint crackle of fat meeting flame broke the silence, and you used a hand fan to coax the fire higher, the smell of smoky marinade already making your stomach grumble.
Behind you, Mingi moved with quiet determination. You heard the faint click of a portable speaker, and a soft melody filled the air, one that sent a shiver down your spine. It was that song. The notes carried a haunting familiarity, weaving through the moment like a thread tying you both to a time when things were simpler, happier. Your breath hitched, and for a second, the world felt suspended.
Before you could turn around to glance at Mingi, warmth enveloped youโa strong arm wrapping securely around your waist. Your heart skipped a beat as his touch pulled you back into the present.
โCareful,โ Mingi murmured, his voice low and steady, as though grounding you. He was close enough that you felt the faint rumble of his words against your back. His other hand lightly grasped your wrist, stilling the fan in your hand. Your mind is clawing at you as the thought of you have to share some dinners with Mingi, cook breakfast with himโ and most painfully of all, to reminisce some memories with him.
You froze, the weight of the moment pressing against your chest like a vice. The music played on, and instinctively, he began to sway, guiding you with an ease that mirrored the rhythm of the song. It was a move from the pastโa small, almost imperceptible dance you once shared under different circumstances. His grip on your waist was steady yet hesitant, as though testing boundaries he didnโt quite remember crossing before.
And just like that, the melody pulled you backโback to a morning that now felt like another lifetime.
You could almost see it, the hazy sunlight spilling through the kitchen window, warm against the wooden floor. The smell of fresh coffee and burnt toast lingered in the air, remnants of an overly ambitious breakfast attempt.
Mingi had been there, standing behind you as you flipped pancakes with clumsy precision. The ache of the night before still lingered in your muscles, and in between your legsโa pleasant reminder of tangled sheets and whispered confessions. His arms had wrapped around your waist then, too, steadying you as you nearly dropped the spatula.
โYouโre gonna burn them if you keep flipping like that,โ he teased, his chin resting on your shoulder.
โAnd youโre distracting me,โ youโd replied, though there was no bite to your words. Instead, you let yourself lean into him, the rise and fall of his chest against your back grounding you. When he swayed you gently in the kitchen, humming the very same song now playing on the rooftop, you laughed, swatting at him with the spatula. โMingi, stop. The pancakesโโ
โPancakes can wait,โ he interrupted, spinning you around to face him. โThis? This is more important.โ
The memory faded as quickly as it came, leaving a dull ache in its wake.
Back on the rooftop, Mingi swayed to the music, guiding you with an ease that mirrored the rhythm of the song. His grip on your waist was steady yet hesitant, as though testing boundaries he didnโt quite remember crossing before. The orange glow of the bulbs cast flickering shadows on the rooftop floor, painting the moment with a bittersweet intimacy. You could feel his breath, warm against your neck, as he whispered softly, โThis songโฆ it feels important.โ
You swallowed hard, the ache in your chest swelling as you managed a faint nod. โIt is,โ you replied, your voice barely audible over the hum of the music.
In that instant, it was as if time folded in on itselfโpast and present colliding in the tender pull of his arms and the bittersweet chords of a melody neither of you could forget.
That night, you lay awake.ย
How could you forget? Of all things, how could you forget that your tiny apartment only had one master bedroom? It wasnโt like you hadnโt spent months adjusting to the spaceโliving alone, needing only one bed. Yet, here you were, stuck with the reality that youโd now have to share it with Mingi. Now, the prospect of sharing the bed with Mingi felt like an unbearable weight pressing down on your chest.
The room was dimly lit by the soft glow of a single lamp, casting long shadows that danced eerily on the walls. You could hear the faint hum of city life outside, a stark contrast to the turmoil within you. Every creak and sigh of the building seemed amplified in the silence of the night, echoing the unease that gnawed at your thoughts.
The soft rustle of sheets beside you snapped you out of your spiraling thoughts. You turned to glance at Mingi, who was already asleep beside you. His presence was both comforting and suffocating. Memories of your past life together flickered through your mindโlate-night conversations, shared dreams, the warmth of his embrace. Each recollection was a double-edged sword, bringing both solace and pain.
You glanced at the edge of the bed, contemplating if you could somehow sleep on the floor instead. The idea quickly felt absurd. You were already here, tucked under the same blanket, with no way out. Your heart pounded in your ears as you lay there, staring at the ceiling.ย
Mingi suddenly murmured something, his voice low and muffled. Your breath hitched as you turned your head slightly to look at him. He was still asleep, his expression soft, almost boyish in the dim light of the bedside lamp.ย
You reached out, your hand trembling as it brushed against his arm. The contact sent a jolt through your system, awakening a longing you had tried so hard to suppress. You pulled your hand back, staring at your own reflection in the mirror across the room. The person looking back at you seemed distant, hollow, as if the vibrant spark that once defined you had dimmed. It has always since the beginning.
Sleep felt like an elusive sanctuary, slipping further away with each passing minute. You buried deeper into the pillow, hoping to drown out the thoughts that refused to let you rest. But even in the darkness, the memories lingeredโfragments of laughter, whispers of love, the promise of a future that now seemed like a fragile illusion.
Tears welled up in your eyes, blurring your vision as you stared into the void.
Your mind raced with questions and fears. How could you help someone you barely understood anymore? How could you navigate the delicate balance between compassion and self-preservation, when every moment with him felt like walking a tightrope over an abyss of unresolved emotions?
The night stretched on, each hour dragging longer than the last. The minutes seemed to crawl, each second a testament to the fragility of your existence. You lay there, torn between the desire to protect him and the fear of losing yourself in the process.
Then he whispered again, and your heart stopped.ย
โ...Tulip,โ he said, your name slipping from his lips like it belonged there.
You froze, the sound of his voice stirring something deep inside you. He hadnโt called you that in years, not sinceโ
You shook your head, willing yourself to forget. This was all temporary. Just a week. Thatโs all you had to endure.ย
Turning onto your side, you faced away from him, pulling the blanket tighter around yourself. But the heat of his presence, the steady sound of his breathing, and the lingering echo of your name in his voice made sleep feel impossibly far away.
As dawn's first light began to seep through the curtains, you remained wide awake, staring into the new day that mirrored the uncertainty of your heart. The challenges ahead loomed large, but so did the remnants of a love that refused to fade entirely. In that fragile balance, you found a sliver of hopeโa determination to navigate the storm, no matter how tumultuous the journey ahead might be.
DAY 2:
When the morning sun peeked through the curtains of your room, it painted the space with a soft, golden glow. The warmth did little to chase away the exhaustion clinging to your body, but you stretched anyway, muscles protesting against the motion.
As the blanket pooled around your lap, your gaze drifted to the figure lying beside you. Your breath caught in your throat as familiarity tugged at your heartstrings. His lips were slightly pursed in a soft pout, his hands curled into loose fists beneath the pillow. For a moment, he looked untouched by the weight of the past, his broad shoulders free of burdens.
A quiet sigh escaped you as you gently pulled the blanket higher, tucking it around his ears, recalling his playful complaints about waking up with frozen ears. "They'll fall off," he'd grumble dramatically, drawing a reluctant smile from you.
Slipping on your fluffy slippers, you padded toward the kitchen. The clink of utensils and the scent of pancakes filled the air as you worked, each flip of the spatula grounding you in the present. But the familiar sound of heavy footsteps echoed behind you, accompanied by the deep rasp of his morning voice.
โโMorning, love,โ he murmured, and your heart stuttered at the endearment. The grip on your spatula tightened, anchoring you back to reality. You glanced over your shoulder, offering him a small, hesitant smile. โM-Morning, Minโฆ Mingi.โ
The words felt foreign, a mix of old habits and new hesitations. You could almost smack yourself for the stumble, but he didnโt seem to notice, his expression easy and warm.
You served the pancakes in silence, the clatter of plates and the scrape of chairs filling the space. โThank you,โ he said, flashing you a grin before diving into his breakfast with his usual unhurried pace.
You couldnโt help but watch, your own plate long emptied, as he savored each bite. His methodical movements were endearingโa rhythm you had once known by heart. With your coffee cup cradled in your hands, now cool and untouched, you let the quiet moments of the morning settle over you. The hum of the ceiling fan blended with the occasional scrape of his fork against the plate. But the tranquility wasnโt enough to keep the exhaustion at bay. Your eyelids grew heavy, last nightโs restlessness catching up to you.
As your head began to nod, you jolted awake, your coffee sloshing dangerously close to the rim.
โYou okay?โ Mingiโs voice broke through the haze, his fork pausing mid-air as he looked at you with concern. You forced a smile, shaking off the lingering fog. โYeah, I just didnโt sleep much,โ you admitted softly.
He tilted his head, studying you for a moment longer than necessary, before nodding. The unspoken understanding in his gaze was both comforting and bittersweet, a reminder of the connection you once shared and the fragile peace of the moment.
โFigured,โ he said, leaning back in his chair, his tone laced with quiet concern. โYou kept tossing and turning. Something bothering you?โ
You blinked, heat crawling up your neck and settling in your cheeks. Of course, heโd noticedโhow could he not when youโd been forced to share the same bed? The situation felt both inescapable and unbearably awkward, every shared breath and subtle movement magnified in the silence of the night.
Your mouth opened, but the words refused to come, faltering under the weight of your swirling thoughts. "Itโs beenโฆ a while, you know," you finally managed, the words stumbling out clumsily. โYouโve been in the hospital for weeks, andโฆ yeah.โ You trailed off, internally cringing at your own awkwardness, your attempt to downplay the turmoil inside you.
He nodded, his gaze softening with something that looked like understanding. Before you could process it, his hand reached out, enveloping yours in a firm but gentle squeeze. โIโm sorry, love,โ he murmured, his voice low and heavy with sincerity.
Your breath hitched, the air in your lungs freezing as the word love echoed in your mind. That nicknameโit was a relic of your past, a tender reminder of a time when everything felt whole and simple. But now, it was a cruel specter, dragging you back into memories you werenโt ready to face.
The pressure of his hand on yours felt like a burning weight, and the rising tide of anxiety threatened to engulf you. The doctorโs words surfaced unbidden, sharp and unrelenting: Mingi and his wife, their second anniversary, the plans for a getaway in the east province that had been violently interrupted by the highway accident. The knowledge clawed at you, tearing open wounds you thought had scarred over.
โIโll clean up,โ you blurted out, your voice tight as you pulled your hand away, retreating before the walls youโd carefully constructed crumbled entirely. You stood abruptly, gathering the plates in a hurried attempt to escape the suffocating moment.
Mingi was taken back by your actions but Mingi also stood up. โNope. Sit.โ He gently but firmly took the plates from your hands, his expression leaving no room for argument. โYou cooked. Iโll handle this.โ
โItโs really fineโโ
He turned to give you a pointed look, one that felt too much like the old Mingi, the one who had always insisted on splitting chores despite your protests. โSit,โ he repeated, softer this time. You relented, sinking back into your chair as he moved to the sink. Watching him was surrealโhis movements so natural, as though he belonged in this space, as though nothing had changed.
He rolled up his sleeves, his tall frame somehow managing to make your tiny kitchen seem even smaller. The sound of running water and clinking dishes filled the room, a strangely domestic symphony that stirred something bittersweet inside you. The gentle clatter of dishes being washed filled the kitchen, a sound so familiar it tugged at your chest like a forgotten melody.
Mingi was a whirlwind of unconscious domesticityโmoving with an ease that made it painfully clear he didnโt just fit into this space. He fits into your life.ย
It felt wrong. It felt right.
You rested your chin on your hand, observing him. The way he washed each dish with precision, the way he hummed a tune you recognized as one of his favorites, the way he smiled to himself when he caught you staringโit was all so familiar. And yet, the reality of your situation hung heavy in the air. But he didnโt know. He didnโt know that every swipe of the dishcloth brought memories flooding back. The mornings you spent together, him insisting on cleaning up while you teased him about his overly meticulous ways. The playful arguments about who made the better breakfast. The laughter, the love, the heartbreak that followed.
He didnโt remember the arguments, the pain, the long nights spent trying to piece together a marriage that had already fractured. All he knew was the version of you that existed in his mind six years ago, the version he still believed was his wife.
And the happily new married life he is in.
Your fingers tightened around your coffee cup as the weight of it all pressed down on you. Of all the people he could have chosen to stay with during his recovery, why did it have to be you? The ex-wife he didnโt even remember leaving behind.
He glanced over his shoulder, catching you staring, and his face lit up with a grin so pure, it almost made you forget how this all ended the first time.
โWhat?โ he asked, drying his hands on a dish towel.
โNothing,โ you said quickly, averting your gaze.
โYouโre a terrible liar,โ he teased, leaning against the counter. You forced a laugh, the sound hollow even to your own ears. โGuess Iโm out of practice.โ
Mingi shrugged, completely oblivious to the storm raging inside you. He surveyed the kitchen again, his eyes lingering on the bare walls and countertops. โYouโve really changed things up, huh?โ
You tensed. โWhat do you mean?โ
โJust... it doesnโt feel like us, you know?โ He gestured around the room, his expression a mix of confusion and longing. โWhere are all the pictures? The ones from our trip to Jeju? Or the goofy ones we took on your birthday?โ
You scrambled for an explanation, your heart pounding. โI... uh, have asked Seonghwa to come and bring it from yourโour house,โ you lied, forcing a laugh.ย
Mingi nodded, accepting your answer without question. โWell, donโt take too long. This place could use a bit of โusโ again.โ The sincerity in his voice made your chest ache, his words hit you like a freight train, and you had to look away. The difference of โusโ is where the fights, the sleepless nights, the way you both unraveled until there was nothing left to hold onto unlike his is somewhere you guess is full of happiness and affection.
As he left the kitchen, whistling a tune, you exhaled shakily. Sharing your apartment with Mingi felt like stepping into a dream and a nightmare all at onceโa cruel trick of fate that blurred the lines between the past and the present. Your hand trembled as you set the coffee cup down, the weight of the past and present colliding in a way you hadnโt prepared for.
So when the sun dipped below the horizon, casting a warm orange glow over the city streets. The day had been a whirlwind, filled with moments that teetered between awkward and oddly nostalgic. You barely had time to process any of it when Mingi, with his boyish grin and an eagerness that made your heart ache, suggested dinner at a noodle shop.
Your eyebrows furrowed as you looked at him. โWhy? I mean, I can cook for youโโ
He raised a hand, halting your words mid-sentence with a gentle but firm gesture. โYouโve already cooked for me twice today. Why not let me treat you for a change?โ He reached for your jacket, draped over the rack, and held it out to you.
You hesitated, the weight of the moment pressing down on your chest. It had been a long time since youโd gone outโespecially with him. The idea felt foreign, almost surreal.
โIโโ
Before you could finish, he sighed, crossing the room to where you sat on the couch. He eased himself down beside you, the sudden proximity causing a jolt of heat to rush through your body. His warmth seeped into the small space between you, igniting a flush that climbed up your neck and settled in your ears.
โTake it as a date,โ he said softly, his voice tinged with a playful charm that only made your pulse quicken. โFor all the days I missed while I was in the hospital. What do you say, love?โ
The nickname cut through your resolve like a whisper of the past, stirring emotions youโd worked hard to bury. Your mind raced with possibilities, weighed down by the unfairness of reliving memories you hadnโt asked to revisit. Was this wise? Could your heart withstand the bittersweet sting of nostalgia?
But when your gaze met his, every carefully constructed barrier began to waver. His eyes held the same spark you rememberedโcuriosity mingled with unspoken hope, as though he had just stumbled upon something new and couldnโt wait to share it with you. And then there was that smile, the one that always had the power to unravel your overthinking.
A quiet sigh escaped your lips as you felt your body relax against your better judgment. The battle between your heart and mind ended with a truce neither was happy about.
โOkay,โ you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper.
His grin widened, and for a fleeting moment, the weight of the past seemed to lift, leaving only the quiet promise of a single evening.
When Mingi said that he wanted to try some noodles that he just saw some streets up where you both passed yesterday, you werenโt expecting it would be some other ramen house.ย
Not just any noodle shopโHome Ramen House.
The ramen house that you and Mingi frequently go to whenever he feels like it. You hesitated, the weight of the memories tied to that place pulling at you. But his excitement was contagious, and before you knew it, you were sitting across from him in the cozy little corner booth you both used to claim as your own. Mingi scanned the menu, his eyes lighting up as though discovering it for the first time. โWeโll have the spicy seafood ramen and the dumplings,โ he told the waiter, his voice filled with conviction. You blinked, startled.
It was second nature to him, a detail woven so deeply into his muscle memory that he hadnโt even realized it. The smell of broth wafted through the air, stirring emotions you had buried long ago. As the waiter brought out steaming bowls of noodles and a plate of golden-brown dumplings, the atmosphere shifted. The familiar clatter of chopsticks, the hum of quiet conversation from nearby tables, the way the condensation on the glasses trickled downโit all felt like stepping into a memory.
Mingi leaned forward, inhaling the aroma with a satisfied sigh. โThis smells amazing,โ he said, his eyes crinkling in that way that used to make your heart skip.
You nodded, stirring your noodles absentmindedly. โIt does,โ you murmured, trying to focus on the present. The first bite was pure nostalgia. The flavors exploded on your tongue, and you couldnโt stop the small smile that tugged at your lips. Mingi noticed, grinning triumphantly. โGlad you still love spicy ramens after you let me sleep on the couch for a week.โ
Your eyes widen in surprise. Indeed it was true, it was the first time you tasted spicy food and it took you a lot of milk to calm down your tongue that was numb from the intense spice in it. Because of the influence of Mingi and him laughing at your red face, which he thought is cute, you told him to sleep on the couch.ย
Conversation flowed easily, much to your surprise. He talked about the food, his thoughts on the day. You found yourself laughing at his terrible joke about dumplings being โwrapped gifts for your stomach,โ despite the ache in your chest.
You had been too focused on picking up a particularly slippery noodle, and a rogue strand of sauce had made its way onto your cheek. Mingi notices it and chuckles, without missing a beat, Mingi reaches across the table, napkin in hand. โHold still,โ he said softly, dabbing at the spot.
The gesture was so natural, so tender, that it left you momentarily breathless.
His fingers lingered for just a second too long, and you caught his eyesโwarm, familiar, and filled with a fondness that felt achingly real. Your pulse quickened, and you quickly turned your attention back to your bowl, muttering a quiet โthanks.โ
As the meal went on, you couldnโt shake the sensation of dรฉjร vu. The way he teased you for eating too fast, the way you both reached for the last dumpling at the same time, the shared laughterโit was all too much and not enough, all at once.
When the bill arrived, Mingi grabbed it before you could protest, his lips curling into that familiar playful grin. โIโm your husband,โ he said, his tone light but laced with a deeper emotion you couldnโt quite place. โI should be treating you to the greatest things in life.โ He added a playful wink that made you roll your eyes, but the warmth in his voice lingered, disarming you in ways you hadnโt anticipated.
Deep down, it was almost too muchโthe familiarity of the moment, the ease with which he slipped back into old habits. It felt like walking into a dream you knew would shatter the moment you woke up.
As you stepped out into the crisp night air, the world seemed quieter, the stars scattered above like a tapestry of fragile hope. Mingi tilted his head up, his hands buried in his pockets. The glow of the restaurantโs lights illuminated his face, softening the lines of worry and regret you had grown used to seeing since his accident.
โThis feels nice,โ he murmured, his voice carrying a hint of wonder, as if he were rediscovering something long forgotten. โLike Iโve found something I didnโt know I lost.โ
His words pierced through the fragile walls you had built around your heart. You bit your lip, the ache in your chest swelling.
You did.
It was a truth you couldnโt say out loud, one you werenโt sure you were ready to admit even to yourself. Yet in the stillness of that moment, it hung in the air between youโunspoken but undeniable.
DAY 3:
The day began like any otherโquiet, unassuming, and unremarkable. You woke early, your mind preoccupied with a client meeting about revisions to a blueprint. The sharp scratch of your pen against paper and the hum of your laptop filled the air as you scribbled down notes, entirely absorbed in the task.
The faint clink of porcelain pulled your attention. A steaming mug appeared beside you, its rich aroma filling the room. Startled, you looked up to see Mingi, holding his own coffee and offering a soft, familiar smile.
โHave a coffee first, love,โ he said, his voice a soothing balm to your busy thoughts.
You took the mug, fingers brushing his briefly, and nodded your thanks. The nickname rolled off his tongue effortlessly now, as if no time had passed since he last used it so freely. It wasnโt just the words, thoughโit was the way he said them, laced with warmth and something deeper, something unspoken.
But the kisses? Those you hadnโt quite grown used to.
There was the time, just last week, when youโd been rushing around before a meeting, juggling your bag, phone, and scattered papers. Mingi had stepped into your chaos like an anchor, hands firm on your shoulders as he steadied you. Heโd kissed your forehead so gently, it left you stunned. Without a word, he handed you a brown bag of snacks and ushered you to the car, driving you to work while you sat in quiet disbelief, his thoughtfulness lingering far longer than the ride.
Now, as he left a kiss on the crown of your head and stepped out of the room, your heart did what it always seemed to do around him these daysโit stumbled, tripping over feelings you werenโt ready to name.
Yet, beneath the warmth that spread through your chest, a shadow loomed. With a soft sigh, you returned back to your work.
Later, when your meeting concluded, you found yourself sprawled on the couch, half-laying and half-sitting, as Mingi flipped through Disney+. He eventually settled on an Avengers marathon. The easy camaraderie, the quiet moments togetherโit felt so natural, so right.
And so unfamiliar.
Just as the movieโs opening credits rolled, a knock at the door echoes. Both of you turned toward the sound simultaneously, like startled meerkats. Mingi paused the movie and moved toward the small monitor connected to the doorbell cam.ย
โOh, itโs Seonghwa-hyung,โ he announced. Your ears perked up. The memory of your impulsive request to Seonghwa came rushing back. After Mingi had offhandedly mentioned that the apartment did not feel like โours,โ youโd acted on instinct, reaching out to your best friend and asking him to retrieve a box of old photos from your attic.
The door opened, and there he wasโSeonghwa, effortlessly chic as always, with his silver hair and the familiar box in his hands.
โHey, babe!โ he greeted, his grin infectious as he breezed in. You smiled back, leaning in for air kisses before he set the box on the coffee table.
โIโd stay and catch you up on all the office gossip,โ he said, glancing at his watch, โbut my baby mamaโs in the ERโsheโs about to give birth!โ
Your eyes widened. โOh my gosh, Seonghwa! Go, go, go!โ
He chuckled, pulling you into a quick hug before turning to Mingi with a firm handshake and a knowing smile. As you walked him to the door, he shot you a lookโone filled with silent understanding and something unspoken. As you walk Seonghwa to the door, Mingi had caught Seonghwaโs knowing look given to you before he left.ย
The moment Seonghwa was gone, the apartment felt quieter, but in a strangely comforting way.
You turn around with a small smile on your lips, โWell the picture is here, letโs get started?โ Mingi had helped you hang up the picture frames, most of them old photos of trips they had taken together. Mingi holding each of the frames made his hand tremble for no reason or that one reason why he suddenly had a flashback of where the same photo shattered on the ground, glass shards glinting like jagged tears in the sunlight. The arguments. The silences. The distance.
โMingi, you okay?โ Your voice, soft with concern, broke through the haze. He blinked, snapping back to the present. Forcing a smile, he nodded and placed the frame on the shelf. โOf course, love,โ he said gently.
But you saw itโthe flicker of something unresolved in his eyes. A shadow of a past neither of you dared to name but both still carried. You didnโt press him, though. Instead, you continued working side by side, filling the quiet with small, easy conversations. The unspoken truths could wait for another day. For now, thisโrebuilding, frame by frameโwas enough.
The golden afternoon light filtered softly through the windows, casting a warm glow across the room. You were curled up on the couch beside Mingi, your head resting against his broad shoulder, the toll of the early morning meeting plus the small clean up around the apartment made you tired.ย
The lingering hum of your morning on-call meeting still played faintly in his mind. He had watched you work earlier, eyes fixed on your focused expression as you scribbled notes and responded to clients, your determination unwavering even through the early hours. Now, it was just the two of you, cocooned in the quiet intimacy of the moment. The world outside felt distant, irrelevant, as if it had been locked away somewhere far beyond the safety of your small apartment.
The silence between you wasnโt heavy. It was peaceful, almost sacred.
Beside you, Mingi shifted slightly. His fingers reached out, adjusting a photo frame on the coffee table without thinking. His gaze lingered on itโa snapshot of laughter frozen in timeโbefore wandering toward the bookshelf by the window. The sight of the cluttered shelves, books stacked without rhyme or reason, brought a small, almost imperceptible smile to his lips. Some of those books he recognized as ones youโd read until the pages frayed; others were strangers to him, spines barely creased.
Then, like a wave crashing without warning, the memory hit him.
The bookstore.
His hand froze, mid-movement, gripping the edge of the couch as the vivid recollection unfolded in his mind. He could feel the chill of that rain-soaked day, the dampness clinging to his skin as you guided him through the streets after picking him up from the hospital. The weight of the moment had pressed heavy on his chestโuncertainty, exhaustion, and the fragile hope that maybe, just maybe, things would be okay.
You had found refuge in that tiny, unassuming bookstore. Its wooden shelves lined with worn books and the comforting smell of paper and ink offered a sanctuary neither of you had expected. Youโd both lingered there, surrounded by stories belonging to others, as if searching for something in the words you didnโt yet know how to say to each other.
The memory of your hand reaching for his, tentative and warm, surfaced with startling clarity. It was a touch that had pulled him out of his own head, grounding him in the present, in you.
โHey,โ your voice now pulled him back to the room, gentle and curious. He blinked, his grip on the couch loosening as he turned to look at you. The concern in your eyes was subtle but unmistakable. You always seemed to notice when he drifted too far into himself, and for that, he was endlessly grateful.
โJust remembering something,โ he murmured, his voice low but steady.
Your head tilted slightly, an invitation for him to share if he wanted to. He didnโt, not yet, but the way you leaned into him, your warmth so close, was enough to soothe the tightness in his chest.
The photo frame sat untouched on the table, a silent witness to the weight of the past and the fragile beauty of the present.
The memory of the rain, the bookstore, and your hand in his still lingered, but now, it felt less heavy. It wasnโt just a memory of pain anymoreโit was one of quiet strength, of a moment where everything else had fallen away except for the two of you, finding your way back to each other in the most unexpected places.
Mingi sighed, his hand settling lightly over yours. โThanks for being here,โ he murmured, his thumb brushing against your skin in an unspoken promise. The quiet sincerity in his voice hung between you, tangible and real.
Your eyes fell to his hand resting on yours, tracing the way his fingers seemed to fit so naturally. Without thinking, you gave his hand a gentle squeeze. The warmth of your touch sent a flutter through him, โThank you for letting me stay,โ an inexplicable yet familiar feeling, like a forgotten piece of a puzzle finally sliding into place.
For a moment, the world seemed to shift, the sunlight filtering through the window growing softer, warmer, as if the connection between you had become the roomโs very heartbeat. Quiet. Steady. Unbreakable.
And yet, beneath the tranquility, a faint ache lingered.
Why did he feel like something was missing?
โDo you remember the library we went to?โ His voice broke the silence, soft and tentative, as though reaching for something fragile.
You looked at him, noticing the way his gaze wavered, a flicker of something unspoken glinting behind his eyes. Hesitation? Longing? It was hard to tell, but you could feel itโsomething pulling at him, tethering him to a memory his heart wasnโt ready to let go of.
You sat up slightly, your movements drawing his attention like a moth to a flame. His eyes followed you, searching, waiting.
โDo you want to go to the bookstore, Min?โ you asked, your voice gentle, careful.
The nickname rolled off your tongue, easy and familiar, but to Mingi, it was both a comfort and a quiet reminder of something he couldnโt quite grasp. The corners of his mouth twitched, not quite a smile, as his heart reacted before his mind could catch up.
He nodded, almost absentmindedly, his eyes still on you as if the answer lay in the way you moved, the way you spoke. There was a dullness in his chest, a faint shadow of the vibrant emotions he once knew, but even in its muted state, it yearned for something more.
As you stood and moved toward the bedroom to grab your things, Mingi stayed rooted on the couch, watching you disappear through the doorway. His hand lingered on the cushion where yours had been moments ago, his thoughts a quiet storm.
The memory of rain-soaked streets and the quiet sanctuary of the bookstore flickered to life in his mind, tugging at the edges of his consciousness. He didnโt fully understand why the thought carried such weight, but the pull was undeniable. He exhaled softly, the sound almost lost in the stillness of the room. Maybe, just maybe, revisiting that moment would help him find what he felt was missingโsomething intangible, yet so profoundly important.
The rain caught them off guard. One moment, the sky was a dull gray, and the next, a torrential downpour had them sprinting down the street, their laughter mingling with the sound of splashing puddles. By the time they ducked into a small, tucked-away bookstore, both were drenched, water dripping from their hair and clothes.ย
The rain stopped a few hours ago and the blue sky was enough evidence to not bring any umbrella yet they should have still brought it.ย Mingi shook his head like a dog, sending droplets everywhere and earning a half-hearted glare from her as she squeezed the water from her sleeves. He grinned sheepishly, running a hand through his damp hair as he took in their surroundings.
The bookstore was charming in an old-world wayโcreaky wooden floors, overstuffed chairs, and the comforting scent of aged paper. His gaze wandered over the shelves, the rain outside creating a rhythmic backdrop.
โThis placeโฆโ His voice trailed off as something stirred faintly in the back of his mind. โIt feels familiar.โ She glanced at him, her expression guarded, but said nothing.
Mingi meandered through the aisles, his fingers brushing the spines of books until one caught his eyeโa worn-out copy of a novel that made his heart stutter.
Why this book?
He pulled it out and stared at the cover. A wave of warmth and nostalgia washed over him, but it was laced with something he couldnโt quite name, like trying to remember the details of a dream slipping through his fingers. Turning to her, he held up the book, a small smile playing on his lips. โDidnโt we read this together? I think I rememberโฆ something about this story. Itโs special, isnโt it?โ
Her eyes flickered with an emotion he couldnโt place, but it wasnโt the joy or excitement he expected. Instead, it was heavy, almost bittersweet. โYouโฆ you said it reminded you of us,โ she replied softly, her voice tinged with a sadness she tried to mask.
ย Mingi frowned, his thumb brushing the frayed edge of the bookโs spine. โI did?โ
There was a beat of silence before she spoke again, her tone carefully neutral. โYou did.โ
His gaze remained fixed on her, studying the way her eyes avoided his, the way her smile didnโt quite reach them. Something about her felt differentโfamiliar, yes, but distant. Her eyes, he realized, didnโt shine the way he remembered. There was something missing, a light he couldnโt name but that he was sure used to be there. He had always told her that her eyes were like stars, vibrant and full of wonder. Now, they were like stars lost behind clouds.
The thought sent an uncomfortable ache through his chest.
โAre you okay?โ he asked, stepping closer. She nodded quickly, too quickly, and busied herself with flipping through the pages of the book. โYeah. Just tired.โ
He wasnโt convinced, but he let it go, turning his attention back to the book. Sitting down in one of the overstuffed chairs, he motioned for her to join him. She hesitated before settling into the chair across from him, and they both fell into a comfortable silence.
The sound of rain against the windows, the scent of old paper, the warmth of the tiny spaceโit all felt soโฆ intimate. As if they were stepping into a memory.
Mingi began reading aloud, his deep voice filling the space. He didnโt understand why the words felt so familiar, why they tugged at something deep inside him, but he didnโt question it. When he looked up, he found her staring at him, her expression unreadable. He grinned, holding up the book. โYou always said I read too slow.โ
Her lips twitched, and for a brief moment, there was a spark of somethingโsomething that reminded him of the past, of those star-like eyes. But it was gone just as quickly, replaced by the same guarded look.
Mingi leaned back in his chair, the ache in his chest deepening. Something was missing, something important, and it wasnโt just the gaps in his memory.
The rain had finally stopped, leaving behind a serene stillness that seemed to blanket the world in a gentle calm. The two of them stepped out of the bookstore, the sound of their footsteps splashing against small puddles on the cobblestone street. The air was cool and crisp, carrying the earthy scent of rain-soaked ground and the faint aroma of nearby flowers.
Mingi glanced around, taking in the scene. The streetlights cast a warm, golden glow that reflected off the rain-slicked surfaces, making the entire place shimmer as though it were draped in a thousand tiny diamonds. It was breathtaking, the kind of beauty that made him feel small and yet deeply connected to the world around him.
He turned his gaze to her. She was walking slightly ahead of him, her silhouette framed by the soft glow of the streetlights. The way her hair caught the light and the way her steps seemed to glide over the wet pavementโit all felt so familiar.
A tug in his chest pulled him closer to her. Without even thinking, his hand reached out, his fingers gently brushing against hers. She turned her head slightly, her eyes meeting his in the dim light. He hesitated for a moment, his hand lingering, unsure if she would pull away. But then, her fingers curled around his, and Mingi felt a warmth bloom in his chest.
To him, it felt like home.
Her hand in his was soft and warm, fitting perfectly as though it had always belonged there. He squeezed gently, his thumb brushing over the back of her hand. There was a comfort in the gesture, a sense of belonging that he couldnโt quite put into words.
For her, the touch was bittersweet. It felt like a memory, distant yet vivid, as though it were something she had dreamed of many times before. She glanced at him, her heart catching in her chest at the way he looked at her. His eyes held a softness, an affection that seemed unguarded, almost innocent.
The quiet between them wasnโt heavy or awkward. Instead, it was filled with unspoken emotions, the kind that didnโt need words to be understood.
The streets around them seemed to come alive in the aftermath of the rain. Raindrops clung to the leaves of the trees, catching the light and sparkling like tiny jewels. The occasional chirp of birds returning to their nests added to the tranquil ambiance. It was as though the world itself was holding its breath, watching them, waiting for something to unfold.
Mingi finally broke the silence, his voice soft and contemplative. โItโs beautiful, isnโt it? The way everything sparkles after the rainโฆ It feels peaceful.โ
She nodded, her eyes drifting to the shimmering reflections on the ground. โIt does. Like everythingโs been washed clean.โ
His gaze lingered on her, a small smile playing at his lips. โYou always used to say that, didnโt you? That the world looks brighter after the rain.โ
She stiffened ever so slightly at his words, the smile on her face faltering for a brief moment before she quickly recovered. โMaybe I did.โ
He frowned, his brow furrowing slightly as he studied her expression. There it was againโthat fleeting look in her eyes, as though she were hiding something. It was like a veil had been drawn over her emotions, keeping him at armโs length.
But then, she turned to him fully, her hand still in his, and smiled softly. โCome on. Letโs go home.โ
Home.
The word echoed in his mind, and he held onto her hand a little tighter. The apartment they were heading to didnโt feel like the home he remembered, but her presence made it feel closer to what he thought home should be. As they walked side by side, the cool breeze brushing against their skin, Mingi couldnโt shake the feeling that there was more to this moment than he could understand. Her hand in his, the glimmer of raindrops on the leaves, the gentle hum of the world around themโit all felt so right, so familiar, yet tinged with an unspoken melancholy.
And for her, each step they took together felt like she was walking through fragments of their past, pieces of a life they had once shared but could no longer fully claim.
The rain had stopped, but the storm within them lingered, quietly shaping the path they walked together.
DAY 4
The sunlight filtered through the curtains, casting a warm, golden glow across the small apartment. You woke to the soft clatter of dishes in the kitchen, the familiar sounds weaving comfort into the quiet morning. Stretching lazily, you padded out of the bedroom, your footsteps light as you made your way toward the source of the sound.
And there he was.
Your feet slowed, hesitating as your eyes locked onto his figure. For a moment, the world seemed to blur, leaving only himโthe man standing in the kitchen, framed by the warm glow of morning sunlight. A wave of nostalgia hit you, so sudden and raw it almost stole your breath. Your throat tightened as memories clawed their way to the surface, unbidden yet familiar. How many times have you stood right here, watching him? The way he swayed softly to the music playing from his phone, completely unaware of how the light kissed his side profile, softening his edges and making him seem almost otherworldly. Majestic, yet achingly human.
It was so vividly him. And yet, it wasnโt.
Because now, the unspoken weight of six yearsโyears filled with pain, silence, and the harsh reality of your separationโstood between you. The barriers of divorce and his amnesia loomed like shadows, carving a chasm between what was and what could never be again.
You wanted to step closer, to reach out and shatter the invisible wall that had formed over time. But the ache in your chest reminded you that the past was no longer yours to claim, and the present...
The present felt fragile, like the sunlight itselfโbeautiful but fleeting, slipping through your fingers no matter how desperately you tried to hold on. And yet, you stayed there, rooted to the spot, watching him as if the act alone could bridge the gap between your pain and his.
You brought yourself back to reality, sighing as you made your way to the kitchen. Mingi stood at the counter, his back to you as he brewed coffee, his movements unhurried. The scent of freshly brewed coffee mingled with the aroma of sizzling eggs, creating a symphony of warmth that filled the air.ย
โGood morning,โ you greeted softly, your voice still touched with sleep yet a hint of heaviness in them. He turned at the sound of your voice, his grin easy and familiar. โGood morning. Did you sleep well?โ
You nodded, stepping further into the room. โI did. Coffee smells amazing, by the way.โ
โHelp yourself,โ he said, gesturing to the counter as he flipped an egg in the pan with practiced ease. โI figured Iโd return the favor this morning.โ
Your heart gave a small flutter at his words, a sensation that left you momentarily speechless. Grabbing a mug, you poured yourself some coffee, the rich aroma filling your senses as you watched him move around the kitchen. There was something almost mesmerizing about the way he carried himselfโcalm, assured, and so at ease.
โYou always wake up this early?โ he asked, glancing over his shoulder.
โOld habits,โ you replied, shrugging. โAnd someone has to make sure the coffee gets made properly.โ
He chuckled, the sound warm and contagious, as he turned to set two plates on the table. โYou really do make a great wife,โ he said offhandedly, his voice casual yet filled with something unspoken. Your hand froze for a fraction of a second, your heart tripping over itself before you forced a small laugh. โMaybeโฆ I did.โ
The two of you sat down to eat, the conversation flowing effortlessly between bites of food and sips of coffee. Mingi asked about your day, your work, and the little details you often overlooked. Yet, hearing his interest in the mundane felt oddly comforting, as though he wanted to be a part of every piece of your life, no matter how small.
When breakfast was over, you reached for the dishes, but he stopped you, his grin playful but firm.
โYou cooked. Iโll clean,โ he said, already gathering the plates before you could protest. Your eyebrow furrowed, โBut โฆ you cooked,โ You whisper but he ignores your words and proceeds to lean against the counter, you watched as he rolled up his sleeves, his movements unhurried as he rinsed the plates. He hummed softly under his breath, a tune you couldnโt quite place but that filled the space between you with warmth.
And in that moment, something inside you tightened.
He looked so natural, standing there with soap suds on his hands and the morning sunlight catching the curve of his smile. So much like the man you remembered, but lighter now, as though a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Yet, there was a bittersweet edge to itโa gentle ache that reminded you how fleeting these moments might be. You couldnโt help but wonder if he felt it too, the quiet push and pull of time and memory, weaving something fragile yet undeniably real between you.
As he turned back to you, drying his hands on a towel, his smile reached his eyes, soft and knowing. โThanks for letting me stay,โ he said, his voice low, almost reverent.
You offered him a small smile, your chest tightening. โThanks for being here.โย
And for a moment, it felt like the sunlight wasnโt just streaming through the windowโit was radiating from the two of you, filling the small apartment with something unspoken yet profound.
Later that day, you find yourself walking through the bustling streets with himโ Mingi wanting to walk around to memorize the placeโ the two of you weaving through the scattered crowd. The sun shines brightly overhead, and the remnants of yesterdayโs rain glisten on the leaves and pavement, creating a shimmering path beneath your feet. As you turn a corner, his gaze shifts, locking onto an elderly woman struggling to carry several heavy bags of groceries. You watch as he pauses for only a moment before stepping forward, his long strides quickly closing the distance.
โLet me help you with those,โ he offered, his tone gentle and reassuring. The woman looked up at him, surprised but grateful, as he effortlessly took the bags from her. โThank you, young man. I didnโt realize theyโd be this heavy.โ
Mingi carried the groceries to her car, his movements easy and practiced. It was as though helping others was second nature to him, something he didnโt even have to think about.
You watch from a few steps away, your heart aching at the sight of him.
Heโs always been like thisโfiercely kind, endlessly giving. Itโs one of the things you loved most about him. Memories flood back unbidden: the countless times heโd gone out of his way for you, fixing a broken appliance late at night, or carrying you in his arms when you sprained your ankle during that unforgettable hike. His kindness was a constant, a thread woven through every moment of your shared life.
When he returns to your side, his smile is radiant, his mood seemingly lighter. โReady to go?โ he asks, his tone so casual, so familiar.
You nod, forcing a smile. But as you fall into step beside him, the bittersweet ache in your chest deepens. The man beside you feels like a dream you once lived inโa beautiful, fleeting thing you canโt quite hold onto anymore.
โWhy are you looking at me like that?โ he asks suddenly, his brows furrowed in confusion.
You blink, startled. โWhat do you mean?โ
โYouโve been quiet,โ he says, his voice softer now, tinged with concern. โIs something wrong?โ
The words catch in your throat. You hesitate, searching for a response that wonโt betray the truth. โNo, itโs justโฆ you remind me of someone I used to know.โ
He tilts his head, a teasing grin tugging at the corners of his lips. โSomeone as charming as me?โ
Despite yourself, a laugh escapes, lightening the heaviness in the air for just a moment. โMaybe,โ you reply, shaking your head.
But as the two of you walk on, your smile fades. Watching him help the elderly woman had stirred something deep within youโa longing for the man he used to be, and for the love you once shared. To him, it was just another act of kindness. To you, it was a glimpse of the man you still love, even if the cruel truth of reality says heโs no longer yours to love.
Later, the afternoon sunlight pours through the apartment window, painting everything in a soft, golden glow. He sits cross-legged on the couch, flipping absently through a magazine he picked up from the bookstore. Across the room, you busy yourself at the kitchen counter, organizing the groceries, keeping your hands moving so your mind doesnโt linger too long.
โCan I ask you something?โ His voice cuts through the comfortable silence, startling you.
You pause, glancing over your shoulder at him. โOf course.โ
โBack there, when I helped that womanโฆ You looked at me like Iโd done something surprising,โ he says, his tone light but his gaze steady, searching.
You set down the box of tea bags, turning fully to face him. โI guess I was just reminded of how naturally kind you are,โ you say carefully. โYouโve always been like thatโhelping people without expecting anything in return.โ
He tilts his head, his expression softening into something you canโt quite decipher. โI donโt think thatโs anything special. Isnโt that what anyone would do?โ
You move toward him, settling on the couch beside him. โNot everyone,โ you reply, your voice quieter now, almost a whisper. โYouโve always had a way of putting others first, even when you didnโt have to. Itโsโฆ one of the things I admire about you.โ
He holds your gaze for a moment longer, something unspoken flickering behind his eyes, but neither of you says more. You wonder if he feels the weight of what youโve left unsaid. Or if the truth, the one youโve been carrying alone, will shatter the fragile peace of these moments when it finally comes to light. He watched her carefully, the faintest hint of a frown tugging at his lips.ย
โYou talk like youโve known me forever. Like weโve been married for a long time.โ
Her breath caught in her throat, the weight of his words pressing against her chest. Because honestly, it was trueโevery single word. Way back then, when your love was untainted by time or circumstance, the two of you had been inseparable. Two years of dating felt like an eternity and yet not nearly enough, as if every moment was still just the beginning.
Mingi had been everythingโyour best friend, your partner, your home. He had this way of looking at you, like you were the answer to every question he didnโt even know he was asking. And on your third anniversary, he did the one thing that solidified the depth of his love.
He proposed.
It wasnโt grand or extravagant, but it was perfect. The way his hands trembled, holding the ring box, his eyes shining with a mixture of nerves and joy. His voice cracked when he said, โAcross all these universes, may my soul search for yours, destined to find you, to love you in every single one.โ
He used to say your love was stronger than gold. To him, it wasnโt just a sentiment; it was a promise. He saw a future so vivid, so tangibleโone filled with laughter, shared dreams, and the quiet comfort of growing old together. He had been excited to spend his life in your arms, to build something lasting and unbreakable.
And yet, here you were now, standing in the fragile ruins of what once was. The man who once held your world in his hands now looked at you with the same hopeful eyes, completely unaware of the truth that would break him.
The truth that your love, though still stronger than gold in your heart, had been twisted and reshaped by time. That his future, the one he envisioned so clearly, now belonged to someone else.
The ache in your chest grew unbearable, your breath hitching as the memory of that proposal flashed behind your eyes like a cruel echo. How could something so beautiful, so full of life, turn into this? How could you bear to look at him, knowing what you know?
And yet, you smiled, hiding the storm raging inside you, because this wasnโt about you anymore. This was about him, his recovery, his healing. The sacrifice of pretending, of playing your part, weighed heavily on your soul, but youโd carry it for as long as he needed.
Even if it meant breaking your own heart in the process.
DAY 5
The morning sunlight filtered through the curtains, but the weight of yesterdayโs conversation still lingered in the air. You moved about the small apartment with a practiced rhythm, avoiding looking at Mingi too directly. He seemed more pensive than usual, his usual chatter subdued, as if he were trying to process something just out of reach.
The knowledge that heโd be returning to his family in just three days gnawed at you. The purpose of his stay was clearโthese days together were supposed to help him recover before transitioning back to the care of his parents. But your heart ached at the thought of him leaving, even as your brain screamed at you to protect yourself, to not let him back into the fragile pieces of your heart youโd painstakingly put together after the divorce.
โIโm going for a walk,โ Mingi announced suddenly, breaking the stillness of the afternoon.
You had come to terms with yourself, silently agreeing that this moment might be your only chance to recreate a life you once cherished. It was fleeting, you knew, but being with this version of Mingi againโso unburdened, so much like the man you had fallen in love withโmade you feel like the person you had been six years ago. Even if it tore at your heart, the thought of reliving those moments, even for a little while, was worth the pain.
โDo you want some company?โ you asked before you could stop yourself. He paused, his boyish grin spreading across his face in a way that sent a pang through your chest. โAlways.โ
You had come to terms with yourself, silently agreeing that this moment might be your only chance to recreate a life you once cherished. It was fleeting, you knew, but being with this version of Mingi againโso unburdened, so much like the man you had fallen in love withโmade you feel like the person you had been six years ago. Even if it tore at your heart, the thought of reliving those moments, even for a little while, was worth the pain.
The two of you wandered through the lively streets, the world around you a gentle hum of activity. The buzz of conversation from passing strangers, the distant laughter of children playing, the occasional bark of a dogโit all blended into a comforting symphony. At first, the silence between you was tentative, but as the minutes passed, it softened, giving way to something familiar.
Mingi seemed more relaxed, his long strides unhurried as he pointed out little details that caught his attentionโa street performer playing a wistful tune on a violin, a quirky storefront painted in bold, mismatched colors, the way yesterdayโs rain sparkled like diamonds on the leaves of a tree. His enthusiasm was infectious, and you found yourself smiling, your heart lighter than it had been in days.
Then, as you passed a photo booth bathed in colorful neon lights, he stopped abruptly.
โOh!โ His exclamation startled you, his face lighting up with a mischievous sparkle that made him look impossibly young. โLetโs do it!โ
โWhat?โ you asked, blinking in confusion as he tugged at your hand.
โThe photo booth,โ he said, already pulling you toward it. โCome on, itโll be fun!โ
You barely had time to protest before you were crammed together inside the tiny booth, your knees brushing against his as the screen flickered to life.
โPose!โ Mingi commanded, throwing up a ridiculous face that made you burst into laughter.
The countdown began, and for the next few minutes, the two of you dissolved into pure, unfiltered joy. Silly faces, exaggerated poses, and moments of shared laughter filled the air. You forgot everythingโthe pain, the truth, the weight of what you were hiding. For a brief, blissful moment, it was just the two of you, exactly as you had been.
As the timer ticked down to the final shot, Mingiโs laughter faded, his gaze locking onto yours with an intensity that made your breath catch. Before you could process what was happening, he leaned in, capturing your lips in a kiss.
It wasnโt rushed or hesitantโit was tender and full of longing, as though the six years that had separated you had never existed. Your mind reeled, your heart hammering in your chest. The world outside the booth seemed to vanish, leaving only the sensation of his lips against yours, soft yet insistent, familiar yet new.ย
It was the same as the first time he kissed youโthe same warmth that spread from your chest, the same dizzying sensation of the world tilting on its axis, the same undeniable certainty that this was where you belonged.
The flash went off, its light momentarily blinding, but you barely noticed. Your world had narrowed to the feel of his hands and the taste of the kiss that lingered, soft yet searing. Your fingers had moved instinctively, gripping the fabric of his jacket, as if holding onto him could stop time, could keep him from slipping away again. His fingers lightly cupped your jaw, grounding you, pulling you closer as if he, too, was afraid to let go.
When he finally pulled back, his forehead rested gently against yours, the faint warmth of his breath ghosting over your lips. His eyes, soft and searching, met yours, and in them, you saw everything you had once knownโlove, hope, and the promise of forever.
But the ache in your chest only deepened. He looked at you as though no time had passed, as though the years of separation hadnโt carved out pieces of your soul. Yet here you were, on opposite sides of a chasm youโd helped create.
He pulled away slightly, his gaze lingering, filled with an almost unbearable tenderness. It made your heart acheโan ache that spread through your whole being, a longing to pour out the words that had been locked inside you for so long.
You wanted to tell him how much you regretted signing the papers, how you had spent countless nights replaying every moment that led to that decision. You wanted to confess that you should have fought for what you had, that you should have held on tighter when everything was falling apart.
But everything was too late. Six years too late.
You blinked back the tears that threatened to spill, forcing a fragile smile as the photo boothโs mechanical hum brought you back to reality. And as the moment passed, slipping through your fingers like sand, you realized that some wounds, no matter how much time passes, never truly heal.
The booth fell silent except for the faint hum of the machinery spitting out the photo strip. Your emotions were a whirlwindโconfusion, longing, hope, and a pain so sharp it was almost unbearable.
Mingiโs eyes searched yours, his expression soft yet unreadable. โIโm sorry,โ he murmured, his voice barely audible.
โFor what?โ you whispered, your voice trembling.
โFor forgetting,โ he said, his thumb brushing lightly over your cheek. โFor making you carry this alone after the accident.โ
Your breath was caught in your throat, some tears threatened to spill in the corner of your eyes. The accident. Not the divorce, not the heartbreak you thought he meant. His words held the weight of sincerity, of regret for memories stolen rather than choices made.
Your heart clenched, the ache deepening as you realized he was apologizing for something entirely out of his control. โMingiโฆโ you whispered, your voice barely holding steady.
The machine beeped softly, a sound that felt louder in the confined space, breaking the spell of shared laughter and fleeting joy. Mingi turned slightly, retrieving the freshly printed photo strip from the slot. As his eyes scanned the series of images, a small, almost wistful smile tugged at his lips, a mix of nostalgia and something unspoken shimmering in his expression.
โLook,โ he said, his voice soft as he held the strip out for you to see.
Your breath falters as your eyes fall on the final frame. It wasnโt a silly pose or a playful expression like the others. Instead, it was a moment you hadnโt expectedโa soft, unplanned kiss. His lips touched yours, the emotion behind it was unmistakable.
It was hauntingly familiar, a mirror of a moment from years agoโthe tender kiss that sealed your vows on the altar. The memory crashed over you like a wave, unearthing a rush of feelings you thought you had buried.
For a moment, neither of you spoke. The air felt heavy, charged with a mix of longing and heartbreak. His thumb traced the edge of the photo strip absently as though trying to etch the memory into his mind.
โMingiโฆโ you began, your voice trembling. He looked at you, his eyes searching yours for somethingโperhaps understanding, perhaps forgiveness. โI donโt know why,โ he said quietly, almost to himself. โBut thisโฆ it feels like something I should never have forgotten.โ
His words hung between you, pulling at the threads of your carefully guarded heart.
For now, you let him fold the photo strip and tuck it into his pocket. As you stepped out of the booth, the cool air hit your face, grounding you. Mingi walked beside you, his boyish grin returning as he pointed out a street performer nearby, as if nothing had changed.
But something had.
As you walked back home, the atmosphere felt quieter, almost solemn, as if the world had slowed just for the two of you. The rain from yesterday had left everything glistening, tiny droplets clinging to the edges of leaves and the curves of streetlights. The golden afternoon sun filtered through the canopy of trees, casting a soft, ethereal glow that felt almost too perfect for a moment like this.
Without warning, Mingi reached out and took your hand.
His fingers laced through yours, warm and steady, grounding you in a way that sent a ripple through your chest. You glanced at him, startled, but his gaze remained fixed ahead, a slight furrow in his brow as though he were lost in thought.
โIt feels right,โ he murmured, his voice barely louder than the whisper of the wind. The words settled between you, simple yet profound, leaving you unsure whether he was speaking to you or to himself. Your steps faltered slightly, but his hand tightened, a gentle reassurance that he wasnโt letting goโnot now, not yet.
The warmth of his touch lingered as the two of you continued down the glistening path, your heart a conflicted mess of emotions. You wanted to pull away, to keep your walls intact, but the pull of his presence was undeniable.
That night, as the city outside settled into its usual hum, you lay awake, staring at the faint patterns of moonlight on the ceiling.
The memory of his hand in yours, the quiet conviction in his voice, echoed in your mind. The fifth night had come and gone, and still, your thoughts revolved around one question.
Was this fleeting comfort worth the risk of reopening wounds that had never fully healed?
Day 6
The tension from the previous day clung to you like a second skin, heavy and unshakable. It had been impossible to look Mingi in the eye that morning, his boyish charm and newfound tenderness pulling at strings you thought were severed long ago.
As you finished tying your shoes near the doorway, you glanced at him hesitantly. Mingi was standing by the window, a book in his hand as his eyes skimmed on the letters inside, the golden morning sunlight casting a warm glow across his face. He seemed lost in thought, his fingers tapping lightly against the spine of the book.
โIโm meeting Seonghwa for coffee,โ you said softly, your voice careful, testing the waters.
He turned to you, his expression unreadable at first. Then, slowly, he nodded. โOkay,โ he said simply, his tone gentle but distant.
You blinked, surprised by the lack of resistance. โOkay?โ
Mingiโs gaze softened, his hand snapped the book close as he walked toward you. โOkay,โ he repeated, and for a moment, you thought that was the end of it.
But then he stopped in front of you, so close you could feel the warmth radiating off him. Before you could say anything, he leaned down and pressed a soft, lingering kiss to your forehead. The tenderness of it made your breath hitch, your heart lurching painfully in your chest.
โBe safe,โ he murmured, his voice low and steady. โAnd enjoy your time with Seonghwa-hyung.โ
You stared up at him, caught off guard by the quiet sincerity in his words. The warmth of his touch lingered long after he pulled away, leaving you standing there, feeling as though the ground beneath you had shifted.
โIโฆ I will,โ you finally managed to say, your voice barely above a whisper.
He offered you a small, boyish smile, one that didnโt quite reach his eyes but still carried a trace of the man you once knew. And as you stepped out the door, you couldnโt help but feel the weight of his gaze on your back, a silent tether that refused to let you go.ย
The tension from the previous day clung to you like a second skin, heavy and unshakable. It had been impossible to look Mingi in the eye that morning, his boyish charm and newfound tenderness pulling at strings you thought were severed long ago.
You were desperate for clarity, for a sense of balance, which was why meeting Seonghwa now felt so vital. As you slid into your usual seat at the cafรฉ, your chest tightened, and the weight of everything threatened to pull you under.
Seonghwa arrived moments later, his presence as steadying as it was piercing. His warm gaze swept over you, concern evident in the slight downturn of his lips.
โHey,โ he said softly, sitting across from you. His voice was gentle, but it carried an edgeโa readiness to say what you werenโt ready to hear. You forced a smile, wrapping your hands around the warm coffee cup in front of you. โHey.โ
The soft hum of the cafรฉ enveloped the quiet between you, but Seonghwa didnโt let it linger. He leaned forward, his elbows settling on the table, his fingers grazing yours with a touch that sent sparks up your arm. His voice was steady, yet his gaze carried the weight of unspoken truths. โAre you doing this for yourself, or for what you think you could have saved?โ
His words hit like a jolt, unraveling the fragile composure you had carefully held together. Your pulse raced as you turned away, pretending to find solace in the rain-streaked window. โSeonghwaโฆโ you murmured, your voice barely audible over the soft patter of rain.
โIโm not mad at you, babe,โ he interrupted, his voice faltering on the last word, betraying the calm facade he was trying so hard to maintain. His eyes shone with a mixture of anguish and desperation as he leaned forward. โBut Iโm terrified. Terrified that youโre tying yourself to the past again, to him, when it nearly destroyed you the first time.โ
The sharpness of his tone cut through you like a blade, leaving a dull ache in its wake. Your chest tightened as you fought to steady your breathing, to keep the tears threatening to spill at bay. โItโs not like that,โ you whispered, though the tremor in your voice gave you away.
โThen what is it like?โ he pressed, his voice softening but losing none of its intensity. The air between you crackled with unspoken truths and heavy silences. โYou couldโve told the truthโโ He exhaled sharply, closing his eyes for a brief moment as if bracing himself for the storm his words would unleash.
He opened his eyes, his gaze locking onto yours with a quiet pain that made your heart shatter. โThe truth that his wife is now conscious in that hospital room. Why didnโt you?โ
The night after you and Mingi shared a quiet walk under the stars, your phone buzzed with a message. It was from the doctorโthe one who had delicately outlined Mingiโs condition, her words laced with a cautious hope that had felt fragile but comforting.
"Mingi's wife has regained consciousness. Sheโs currently in surgery, slowly recovering from the head trauma."
The words blurred as your eyes scanned them again, your breath catching in your throat. At first, they felt distant, like they belonged to someone elseโs story. But then, the meaning sank in like a weight dropping in your chest.
Mingiโs wife.
The words struck you like a lightning bolt, jolting you into a reality you had somehow let yourself forget. His wifeโthe legal wife. The woman whose place you could never fill, no matter how fleeting the moments you shared with him had been.
Your heart plummeted as the realization hit you with earth-shattering clarity. For days, you had let yourself sink into the illusion of being close to him, of stepping into a role you had no right to play. And now, like heaven and earth colliding, you were reminded of the truth you had buried so deeply.
Mingi was never yours and no longer yours.
The thought tore through you, an ache blooming in your chest as you tried to steady your breathing. The walls of the room seemed to press in, the space shrinking with every passing second. Relief warred with despair, confusion tangled with longing, and you could barely grasp at the threads of your own emotions. Somewhere, the rational part of you knew this was how it was supposed to beโthat Mingi would return to her arms, to the life he had built with someone else. But knowing didnโt make it hurt any less.
The question struck like a hammer to your chest, robbing you of breath. You turned your head away, your eyes squeezing shut as if that could block out the weight of his words. The ache of emotions you had buried deep within clawed its way to the surface, and you felt the sting of suppressed tears.
โBecauseโฆโ you began, your voice barely above a whisper, raw and broken. โBecause he needed someone.โ You forced yourself to meet his gaze, your eyes swimming with unshed tears. โHe woke up not knowing anything, Seonghwa. Not even himself. How could I just leave him to that kind of emptiness?โ
His jaw tightened as he searched your face, his shoulders slumping with the weight of his frustration and fear. โAnd what about you?โ he asked, his voice trembling, barely holding together. โWhat about your emptiness? What about the nights you couldnโt breathe, the times I had to hold you together because you couldnโt stand on your own? What about everything youโve been through?โ
You couldnโt answer. The words lodged in your throat like shards of glass, too sharp to speak.
He reached out, his hand hovering near yours before retreating, his fingers curling into a fist. โHow do you think this ends for you?โ His voice cracked, and the vulnerability in it made your chest tighten further. โDo you think this fixes anything? Or are you just breaking yourself all over again for someone who might not even give a second look the moment they remember?โ
Tears brimmed in your eyes as you met his gaze, his expression so raw, so full of love and worry, it almost undid you. โI donโt know,โ you said honestly, your voice barely a whisper. โBut heโs not the same, Seonghwa. Heโsโฆ different. He doesnโt remember the fights or the divorce. He doesnโt remember why we fell apart. He only remembers meโus. And itโsโฆโ You trailed off, your voice breaking under the weight of unsaid words.
โItโs what?โ Seonghwa prompted, his hand reaching across the table to hold yours, grounding you.
โItโs killing me,โ you confessed, the tears spilling over now. โTo see him like this, to see him not remember the life we hadโor the pain that ended it. Itโs like Iโm living in this cruel, beautiful lie.โ
Seonghwa inhaled sharply, his grip tightening on your hand. โYouโre not responsible for fixing him,โ he said firmly, though his voice trembled with emotion. โYouโve already given so much of yourself to him. Iโm scared youโll lose whatโs left.โ
The rawness in his voice shattered something inside you, and for the first time, you let yourself feel the full weight of his words.
โI justโฆโ You swallowed hard, trying to steady yourself. โI needed to be there for him. Even if itโs only for now.โ
The weight of the unspoken hung heavily between you and Seonghwa, a reminder of the ticking clock counting down the days until he would leave. You tried to ignore it, burying the ache deep within, but it clawed relentlessly at the edges of your resolve.
Before either of you could say more, your phone buzzed against the table, the sound jarring in the heavy silence. You glanced down and froze when you saw Mingiโs name flashing on the screen.
Seonghwaโs eyes flicked to the phone, his expression calm but his jaw tight. โAnswer it,โ he said softly, though the tension in his voice betrayed him.
With trembling hands, you swiped to accept the call. โHello?โ
โHey,โ Mingiโs voice came through, warm and familiar. For a moment, it felt like coming home. But there was an edge to his tone, a weight you couldnโt quite place. โI was just thinking about you. Can we talk when you get back?โ
Your heart clenched at his words, his longing bleeding through the line. โYeah,โ you managed to say, your voice thick with unspoken emotions.
When you hung up, Seonghwa was watching you, his dark eyes searching yours. โHe remembers you,โ he said quietly, each word measured. โBut not the pain. Not the fights. Not the divorce.โ
You nodded, your fingers trembling as you wiped at the tears threatening to fall. โAnd I donโt know if that makes it better or worse.โ
Seonghwa reached out, his hand finding yours again. His thumb brushed softly against your knuckles, grounding you in the present even as the past threatened to overwhelm. โIโll support you, no matter what,โ he said, his voice steady but laced with quiet anguish. โBut promise me, if it gets too much, youโll walk away. You deserve a futureโnot a life trapped in the shadows of what couldโve been.โ
You nodded, but the promise felt fragile, like a thread stretched too thin. โIโll try,โ you whispered.
His gaze softened, though the worry lingered in his eyes. โThatโs all I ask.โ
โA drive?โ you repeated, startled. On the way back home and after bidding goodbye to Seonghwa, your nerves were everywhere, anxiety rising as to what Mingi wanted to talk about. Your mind races with many thoughts and one of them were the conversations you just had with Mingi and dread washed over you.
โYeah,โ he said, already standing. He was already in his sweater and jeans, the keys juggling in his palm,ย โItโs been so long since Iโve justโฆ gone somewhere for no reason. You in?โ
The logical part of you wanted to decline, to keep the boundaries clear, to protect your heart. But the part of you still tethered to himโthe part that had never quite let goโnodded. โOkay.โ
The car hummed softly as it came to life, the familiar sound filling the quiet. Once you hit the open road, Mingi rolled down the windows, letting the cool night air rush in. It carried the scent of damp asphalt and distant pine, and for a moment, you felt like youโd stepped back in time. He fiddled with the radio, flipping through stations until a familiar melody filled the car. A smile spread across his face. โRemember this?โ
You nodded, the song tugging at memories you thought youโd buried. It was your songโthe one that played on countless late-night drives, the soundtrack to a thousand shared moments.
Mingiโs grin widened as he sang along, his voice exaggerated and dramatic. His arms gestured wildly, just like he used to, and you couldnโt help but laugh. The sound bubbled up, surprising even you, cutting through the heaviness that had settled in your chest.
โYour turn,โ he said, glancing at you with a teasing smile.
โI donโt sing,โ you replied, shaking your head.
โYour voice is my favorite song,โ he said, the words slipping out so naturally they caught you off guard. Your laughter faded, replaced by a quiet ache. You turned your gaze to the window, watching the darkened trees blur past. โI hope you still do.โ
The miles stretched out beneath you, the city lights fading into quieter, darker roads. The wind whipped through your hair, wild and untamed, but you didnโt bother to fix it. For a fleeting moment, it felt like nothing else matteredโjust the open road, the music, and him.
But the memories crept in, unbidden and sharp. The countless nights spent in this very seat, his hand brushing yours on the gearshift. The shared dreams, the unspoken promises, the way youโd believed you were untouchable.
โMingi,โ you said softly, your voice barely audible over the engineโs hum.
He turned to you, his expression curious.
โWhy did you want to go for a drive?โ
He hesitated, his gaze flickering to the road ahead before answering. โI donโt know,โ he admitted. โBut I do remember, this is our sweet grand escape.โ
You nodded, your throat tight. โIt is.โ And in that moment, with the road stretching endlessly ahead, you wondered if youโd ever truly move forwardโor if some part of you would always be here, caught between what was and what could have been.
The road ahead stretched out in silence, the hum of the engine blending with the soft whispers of the wind. By the time you turned back toward the city, the air had grown colder, carrying the faint scent of pine and damp earth. The stars above were scattered like fragments of light against the inky blackness, their brilliance mirrored in your quiet longing.
Mingi reached over, his hand finding the console between you. His fingers brushed against yoursโlight, tentative, as if testing the boundaries of something fragile. The warmth of his touch sent a shiver through you, and your breath hitched before you could stop it.
โI donโt know what it is,โ he said, breaking the silence. His voice was quiet, as though he feared the weight of his words might shatter the delicate moment. His eyes remained fixed on the road ahead, but you could see the tension in his jaw, the vulnerability etched into his profile.
โBut being with youโฆโ he continued, his words catching slightly, as though they carried more than he could say. โIt feels like Iโm home. Like Iโve been away for a long time, and now Iโm finally back where I belong.โ
The confession hung in the air, raw and unfiltered, seeping into every crevice of the space between you. Your chest tightened, the ache blooming anew. You wanted to hold onto his words, to let them wrap around you like the warmth of his touch, but they carried a bittersweet weight that was impossible to ignore.
You swallowed hard, your gaze drifting out the window as you struggled to steady the storm of emotions inside you. The city lights glimmered in the distance, but they felt impossibly far awayโlike the future youโd once dreamed of with him, now nothing more than a faint glimmer on a distant horizon.
He took a quick look at you, his eyes held so much loveโ like he was carrying the entire aurora borealis in his eyes, โYouโre my home.โ
Your breath caught in your throat, the weight of his words crashing over you like a wave. You wanted to tell him the truth, to let him know that this wasnโt his home anymoreโthat you werenโt his home anymore. But the words refused to come.
Instead, you let your hand slip into his, your fingers intertwining as naturally as they always had. And for the rest of the drive, you let yourself believe, just for a little while, that you could still be his home.
Day 7
โWake up, sleepyhead,โ You nudged Mingi gently, your voice soft but insistent, fingers brushing against his arm. He stirred, blinking up at you with groggy confusion. โWhat time is it?โย
You gave him a soft smile, โJust get up.โ He groaned but sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Without protest, Mingi followed you, the two of you making your way out into the quiet stillness of the world before it woke; yet the weight of what was to come pressed heavily on your chest.
Last night had been a sleepless one. After the late-night drive, you had returned to the stillness of your shared space, the echoes of his laughter and the warmth of his presence lingering in the room like a ghost of the past. But the peace you so desperately wanted to hold onto eluded you. Instead, your mind raced, caught in a storm of emotions that refused to settle.
The entire week with him had felt like an unravelingโhis presence a salve to old wounds that had never fully healed, yet at the same time, it had torn open scars you had worked so hard to seal. Being near him again, feeling his touch, hearing his laughโit was everything you had once dreamed of. Everything you had wished to return to, even when you told yourself it wasnโt possible.
But the truth loomed over you, undeniable and inescapable. Mingi deserved to know it, deserved to have the clarity you had ignored for so long. As the hours dragged on and sleep remained a distant hope, you had spent the night removing the shards embedded deep in your heart, one by one.
The memories were sharp, cutting with each recollection: the way he looked at you with those eyes full of unspoken longing, the touch of his hand brushing yours in the car, the sound of his voice when he said you felt like home. Every moment was a reminder of what you had lostโand what you could no longer pretend to have.
Your tears had soaked into the pillow as you wrestled with the decision, the battle between selfishly holding onto these fleeting moments and doing what you knew was right. You couldnโt let him live in the illusion any longer. He deserved the truth, even if it shattered the fragile connection youโd rebuilt.
The air was crisp, carrying the biting chill of dawn that made you instinctively wrap your arms around yourself. Above, the sky remained a canvas of deep navy, stars beginning to dim as the first strokes of orange and pink teased the horizon. The world felt suspended in a quiet hush, the stillness amplified by the faint rustle of leaves in the cool breeze.
You led Mingi to a secluded hill overlooking the city, the spot youโd discovered during one of your solitary escapes. It was a place of solace for you, where the sprawling cityscape seemed small and far away, swallowed by the vastness of the sky.
Neither of you spoke as you sat side by side on the damp grass. The cold seeped through your clothes, grounding you in the reality of the moment. The faint hum of distant traffic mingled with the melody of birds waking to the light. Slowly, the darkness began to yield, giving way to the soft warmth of the approaching sunrise.
Mingiโs breath fogged in the air as he spoke, his voice quiet, almost reverent. โItโs beautiful.โ
You nodded, your gaze fixed on the horizon. The first rays of sunlight painted the edges of the sky in hues of gold and pink, chasing away the night. โI thought itโd be a good way to end things.โ
He turned to you, his brow furrowing in confusion. โEnd things?โ
The words hung in the air, heavy and unspoken. Mingiโs heart thudded unevenly in his chest, a gnawing sense of unease creeping through him. Your tone wasnโt coldโit was resolute, distant in a way that felt unfamiliar and wrong. He opened his mouth to respond, to ask what you meant, but the words tangled in his throat.
His mind raced, flooded with fragments of emotions and half-formed thoughts. Whatโs happening? Why does it feel like somethingโs slipping away? He searched your face, looking for answers in the curve of your lips, the downward tilt of your gaze.
Is this why youโve been so quiet? Why your smiles seemed forced? He thought of the past week, the stolen moments of warmth that felt almost too fragile, too fleeting. His chest tightened. Were those memories or just illusions of something we used to have?
Were those moments we shared just days ago โฆ were my memories?
And then there were the flashesโimages that didnโt make sense but stirred something deep and aching within him. Your tear-streaked face, eyes red and swollen, though he couldnโt recall ever seeing you cry. The ghost of your voice, trembling with words he couldnโt quite grasp.
Mingi wanted to ask, to demand why this felt like goodbye when he wasnโt ready for it. But fear held him back, rooting him in silence. What if asking makes it real? What if I lose you all over again?
You exhaled slowly, breaking the silence. โMingiโฆ youโre going back to your family tomorrow. Thisโฆโ You gestured vaguely between the two of you. โThis was temporary. A way for you to heal. But itโs not real. Not anymore.โ
His breath hitched, and he turned his gaze back to the horizon, unable to meet your eyes. His thoughts screamed against your words, but his voice refused to cooperate. The truth loomed like a shadow he wasnโt prepared to confront, a storm he couldnโt outrun.
The sunlight began to spread, illuminating the city below in soft, golden light. Mingi clenched his fists against the damp grass, the weight of the moment pressing against his chest. He wanted to reach out, to tell you that it was real, that you were his anchor in a sea of uncertainty.
โI love youโฆโ he said suddenly, his voice soft yet firm, like a whisper of truth he couldnโt hold back any longer. His hand finding yours, squeezing it as if telling you to stop joking yet none of your eyes says that you were.
It felt like a dam had broken within you. The walls you had so carefully built to protect yourself crumbled, and the flood of emotions hit with brutal force. Your shoulders trembled, a sharp inhale escaping you as your head shook, denying the reality of his words. You fought with everything you had to stay composed, but your heart betrayed you, a painful ache spreading through your chest.
โNoโฆโ you whispered, your voice cracking under the weight of everything you had buried deep inside. It was more than just the words, more than just the confessionโ it was everything you couldnโt say, everything that had been left unsaid for far too long.
Tears brimmed in your reddened eyes, threatening to spill, but you willed yourself to hold them back. Every part of you screamed to push him away, to refuse him, but a deeper part of youโ the part that remembered the love you once shared, the tenderness and joyโ fought against the words that had already formed in your throat.
โNo, you donโt.โ
The words left your lips in a breathless rush, the weight of them heavier than anything you had ever spoken. Your chest tightened with the unbearable pressure of it all, a battle raging inside you. The pain, the confusion, the loss.ย
Mingi tilted his head, confusion clouding his expression as he tried to make sense of it all. โBut Iโm married to you.โ
A bitter laugh escaped your lips, sharp and hollow. It was a sound of disbelief and pain, born from the weight of everything that had happened. Your gaze fell to your intertwined handsโa fragile semblance of connection in a world that had shattered between the two of you.
You pulled away with sudden resolve, the movement decisive. It felt like a necessary breakโlike something had to give for you to survive this moment.
โWas,โ you corrected softly, your voice trembling but steady. โI was married to youโbefore we divorced.โ
The words hit the air between you like an invisible force, heavy and unrelenting. His mouth opened as if to argue, to hold onto something that didnโt belong to either of you anymore, but you stopped him before the denial could take form.
The quiet strength in your voice broke through his confusion. โYou left me, Mingi.โ
Your tone softened, the bitterness giving way to something raw, something vulnerable. The weight of yearsโof heartbreak, of unanswered questionsโhad finally found their voice. โYou said you didnโt feel the love between us anymore. That you found it with someone else. And nowโฆโ
Your voice faltered, breaking like the tender thread of a once-beautiful memory. You balled your hands into fists at your sides, trying to hold onto what little strength you had left. โYou already belong to someone else. Someone who isnโt me.โ
The silence stretched between you as the sun climbed higher, its golden rays casting light on his face. But the clarity in his eyes wasnโt thereโonly the raw confusion, the hurt that mirrored your own. He struggled to process your words, his fingers twitching as if to reach for you, but they stopped short, hanging in the air with unspoken regret.
โI donโt remember that,โ he said, his voice barely above a whisper, the pain in his tone cutting deeper than anything before.
You nodded slowly, your heart aching as the tears you had tried so hard to hold back slipped down your cheeks. โI know,โ you whispered back, the sorrow in your voice thickening with each breath. โAnd thatโs why I wanted to do thisโbecause I needed to let go. I needed to find closureโfor the both of us.โ
Mingi stared at you, his eyes locking onto yours as if searching for the pieces of himself that had slipped away, hoping they were hidden somewhere inside your gaze. His lips parted, but no words came out at first. His chest rose and fell with uneven breaths, as if trying to reconcile the weight of his feelings with the reality of what had been lost.
โBut I feel it,โ he said finally, his voice breaking with desperation. โI feel like I love youโ No! I love you, youโre my home. How can that not be real?โ
The wordsโthose wordsโshattered the last vestiges of your composure. You smiled through your tears, the smile that came from a place of bittersweetnessโan expression that was both tender and laced with pain.
โBecause sometimes, love isnโt enough to keep something whole,โ you whispered, your voice steady despite the ache in your chest. โAnd sometimes, itโs about knowing when to let go.โ
The finality in your voice hung in the air like a heavy fog, and the truth of it sank in, sharp and undeniable. You were letting go. You were finally releasing everything you had tried so hard to hold onto.
You looked at him one last time, your gaze lingering, as if you were trying to memorize every detailโhis mole on the left side of his cheek, the sharp curve of his nose, the way his eyes crinkled into that crescent-shaped smile that always made you feel like the world had melted away. In that instant, you allowed yourself to drown in the present, to feel the weight of everything that had once been yours.
But it was fleeting. Too fleeting.
Thisโthis momentโwas all that was left of him, the man who had once been everything to you. The man you loved so fiercely, so completely, and yet, whose love had faded as quickly as it had come.
As you stood there, watching him in all his vulnerability, you finally allowed the tears you had been holding back to fall freely. There was no more hiding, no more pretending. This was the end. The closure you had been yearning for was finally here.
โIโll miss you, Min,โ you whispered, your voice cracking as the weight of your words took hold of your chest.
The nameโhis nameโfelt like a dagger, sharp and bittersweet, as it slipped from your lips. You closed your eyes for just a moment, and in that second, the rush of memories hit you like a wave. The laughter, the tenderness, the warmth that used to fill every space between you two. But as quickly as the memories came, they were replaced by the painful reality that this was no longer your life. He wasnโt yours anymore, and you werenโt his. Not in the way you once were.
โI love you, Tulip,โ he whispered, his voice breaking like shattered glass, his hand reaching for yours with a desperate kind of tenderness.
But you pushed his hands away, the motion sharp, your heart aching at the rejection you had to force upon him. โStop, Mingi,โ you said, your voice trembling with raw emotion, your bottom lip wobbling as tears streamed unchecked down your cheeks. โIโm no longer your wife.โ
The words fell like a gavel in a silent courtroomโfinal, undeniable. They echoed in the small space between you, shattering whatever fragile illusion of reconciliation had lingered in his hopeful gaze.
Mingi stood there, frozen, his hand still hovering mid-air as if waiting for a different outcome, one that would never come. His lips parted, and for a moment, it seemed he might argue, might plead, might try to close the gap between you. But then he saw the anguish in your eyes, the pain you carried, and it stopped him in his tracks.
โI donโt understand,โ he murmured, his voice laced with confusion, his gaze darting between your face and the floor as though searching for answers that didnโt exist. โI feel it, Tulip. I feel this loveโso real, so strong. How can you say that weโre notโโ
โMingi.โ Your voice cracked as you interrupted him, your tears falling faster now. โThe love is there. I know it is. But itโs not enough anymore. It died six years ago.โ
His shoulders slumped as if the weight of your words had finally crushed him, the realization dawning painfully slow.
โI donโt remember the fights,โ he said quietly, his tone almost childlike in its confusion. โThe hurt, the divorceโฆ I donโt remember any of it. All I know is what I feel now. And it feels real. It feels like I love youโ No! I love you and Iโve always loved you.โ
Your breath hitched, the raw vulnerability in his words cutting through you like a knife. You reached up, covering your mouth as a sob escaped.
โItโs not about what you remember,โ you said, your voice trembling. โItโs about what weโve both lived through. The pain, the betrayal, the breaking of something so beautifulโwe canโt just erase that. We canโt rewrite the past, no matter how much we want to.โ
His eyes filled with tears as he took a tentative step closer. โBut Tulipโฆโ
You shook your head, the motion small but resolute. โYou might not remember the scars, but I do. Theyโre a part of me now. A part of us. And Iโ We canโt keep living in this unfair nostalgia, holding onto something thatโs already gone.โ
Mingiโs face crumpled, his tears finally spilling over as he stared at you, helpless. โSo thatโs it?โ he whispered, his voice breaking. You looked at him for what felt like the last time, your gaze lingering on every detail of the man you once called your everything. His mole on his left cheek, the sharp bridge of his nose, the way his crescent-shaped eyes still managed to smile even through the tears..
Your hand reached out, trembling, to settle on his cheek. He leaned into your touch without hesitation, his eyes fluttering closed as though savoring the moment. Your breath caught in your throat, a lump of sorrow and love you couldnโt swallow.
Maybe untying the fragile, fraying knot that held together your broken strings would set you both freeโfree to be bound to something stronger, something whole.
โIโll miss you, Min,โ you whispered, your thumb catching some of his tears, the words so soft they almost dissolved into the air, but their weight carried the entirety of your heart. Mingiโs lips parted, his gaze snapping to yours, as though he wanted to protest, to hold you there with him forever. But no words came. He simply stood, frozen, as you turned away.
He watched you walk away, each step you took feeling like it carved pieces out of him. The silence between you was deafening, each footfall heavier than the last.
The words werenโt just a goodbyeโthey were a love letter to the life you had shared, the dreams you had built, the memories you would carry forever. The unfair nostalgia lingered in the air between you, thick and suffocating, a reminder of what once was and what could never be.
synopsis โข can't promise that things won't be broken but i swear that i will never leave,please stay forever with meโฆwhen youโre forced to sit next to the one person you despise the most during a road trip, things get tense as emotions are at an all time high.
pairing โข nishimura riki x fem!reader
genre โข enemies to lovers, forced proximity, non-idol au, slice of life, angst, fluff
warnings โข arguments, cursing, niki & reader being assholes, jungwon and jake playing cupid??
wc โข2.2k mlist โข
your eyebrows furrowed at jungwon, who stood across from you. โyou have got to be kidding me,โ your arms crossed. he smiled sheepishly, โiโm sorry but this year, itโs your turn for the back seat.โ the back seat which youโve always avoided since every year niki sat back there. โjungwon, this trip is a four hour drive, you want me to sit next to him for four hours?โ jungwon sighed at your question. โwith the drivers rotating, you two donโt drive so itโs easier this way.โ curse you for not having your drivers license.
โi am not happy about this,โ your arms crossed as you plopped down on your couch. jungwon sat next to you, resting his head on your shoulder. โitโs only for the ride there, you can manage yeah? just take your headphones.โ you sighed and nodded, โiโm only doing this for you and the others, donโt expect a peep out of me.โ jungwon smiled at your words, knowing there was no way youโd keep quiet against niki.
the days leading up to the road trip, you tried your hardest to avoid niki. key word tried, he always finds a way to get under your skin. whether its taking your seat while out to eat, or cutting you off in line at the mall. it never failed to get a rise out of you. the boys could practically predict what the two of youโd say to each other.
โat least say excuse me, you gremlin,โ jake mocked you. โmove, you always take to long anyway,โ sunoo was quick to mock nikiโs response. they of course never did this in front of you two, afraid of even more warfare. despite how funny the arguments could be, they also got quite annoying. the constant bickering was enough to have the group want to rip their hair out.
niki was in no better spirits about having to share his precious back seat with you. he barely liked to share with the guys but to have you back there? the boy wanted to just unpack and not even go. โitโs not that bad,โ jake said watching niki angrily shove the remaining items he had into his bag. โit is that bad actually, sheโs insufferable. how can i sit next to her for four hours?โ niki looked at jake with furious eyes. โlook if you drove then maybe youโd be better off, but itโs easier this wayโ, jake shrugged. niki seriously needed to get his license, he rolled his eyes. โsee you in the morning man, just take your headphones and ignore her i guessโ, he patted nikiโs shoulder before leaving.
you were the last stop before they could go on the road. niki was already annoyed. he only had his wired headphones, the car they rented had a small back seat, so heโd be even closer to you then he wanted to be. he rolled his eyes watching you stumble to the car with your bags. his eyes followed jungwon who jumped out to help you. the trunk opened and jungwon placed your bag in the back, handing you your smaller one. โthank you wonnie,โ you grinned, hugging him. โyouโre welcome.โ he opened the sliding door to let you in.
in the second row sat, jay and jake. the middle was occupied by sunoo and sunghoon. heeseung was driving and jungwon had the passenger seat. โhi everyone,โ you greeted them before climbing into the very back seat. niki furrowed his eyebrows when you finally sat down, your shoulder brushing his slightly.
with the reduced space, your legs and shoulders were touching his. niki began bouncing his leg, the annoyance of sitting next to you already bothering him. you looked at him, you wanted to scold him for bouncing his leg, but you remained calm for everyoneโs sake. once heeseung checked that everyone was ready he began driving.
everyone was conversing amongst themselves, you tried to occupy yourself on your phone, by looking out the window. niki was like a statue next to you, besides his leg that was still bouncing. you leaned up, propping your head on the back of the middle row seat. โhi,โ sunoo giggled seeing your head pop up between himself and sunghoon. โhi,โ you grinned.
he motioned with his head, โdoing okay back there?โ you sighed,โ i guess so,โ niki let out a groan shifting away from you causing you to fall back from the seat. โstop leaning against me,โ niki snapped. โspoke to soon,โ you whispered to sunoo before returning to your seat. โsorry jeez,โ you scoffed, leaning away from him as far as you could. niki rolled his eyes at you.
a few minutes had passed, you subconsciously began tapping your fingers against your leg. to whatever beat you had in your head, niki clenched his jaw at the rhythmic pattern. it was unbelievably irritating, โcan you not?โ he asked. you turned to him confused, โwhat?โ he rolled his eyes, โstop tapping your fingers itโs annoying.โ you narrowed your eyes at him, โyeah? well so are you bouncing your leg but i didnโt say anything.โ
he rolled his eyes and stilled his leg, you smirked slightly before stopping the tapping. you laid your head against the window, feeling sleepy. however the small bumps the car hit were uncomfortable. your smaller bag only had a few things in it, not holding the small stuffed animal you were looking for. it was a small bear, youโve had since childhood you literally always bring with you. turning so you could reach in the trunk, your body kept bumping into niki. the boy groaned, โwhat are you doing now? canโt you just sit still?,โ he tried to scoot away from you. โi was looking for something,โ you grumbled clutching the bear and turning to sit back down. โseriously?โ niki noticed the bear you were now holding.
โthat could of waited,โ he snapped. โiโm going to use him as a pillow, itโs..you know what, i donโt have to explain myself to you.โ you placed the bear in a spot to cushion your head. niki scoffed and adjusted in his spot. his leg pushing into yours, โcould you maybe not be a dude and save me some room,โ you asked pushing his leg back over with yours. โi canโt help it,โ his eyes rolled. thatโs all his eyes ever did when he looked at you. โwe have to stop for gas, if anyone wants snacks or to stretch their legs,โ heeseung spoke. once he pulled into the gas station everyone piled out of the car. your arms stretched above your head, a soft groan falling from your lips. goosebumps covered your skin as a chill breeze went by. โcan i borrow a hoodie, anyone?โ you spoke. they all nodded saying to just grab one from the back. opening the trunk you dug through the bags until you came across what you were looking for. pulling out a large gray zip up hoodie, you smiled once the sleeves covered your cold arms. jungwon came bouncing out of the gas station with a bag full of snacks. โhere y/n,โ he said, handing you a bag of skittles and a bottle of sprite. โthank you wonnie,โ he smiled and got into the passenger seat.
you dreaded sitting next to him again, but everyone was ready to get back on the road. niki had his head turned away from you when you got in. your chest tightened but you refused to let him get to you. โcan you scooch over a little bit?,โ you asked, squeezing into your seat. his leg was partially on your side. he let out a scoff before pulling leg closer to his side. taking your seat, you pulled your hood up and leaned against the window. nikiโs eyes drifted to the hoodie you were wearing, his hoodie. he felt his heart pounding against his chest, you looked so good in his clothes. sunoo turned towards you, holding out his bag of gummie worms, โwant some?โ you nodded reaching into the bag and grabbing two. โthank you,โ you grinned.
niki was silent, a storm was brewing inside him. he didnโt think it was fair that you got along so well with the boys. why couldnโt you get along with him like that? why did you two hate each other so much? truth is neither of you could pinpoint any moment that could of caused the mutual feeling of hate between you both. โriki would you like a gummie worm?โ sunoo asked holding the bag out to him. niki looked at it seeing no blue left, then he noticed the blue gummie worm in your hand. โno someone already took the last good flavor,โ he huffed. your eyebrows furrowed and you handed the gummie worm to him, โhere,โ his eyes widened as he stared at it. part of him wanted to take it, he didnโt know what caused him not to. โi donโt want it after youโve had it in your hand,โ he grabbed a red one from sunoo before turning to ignore the both of you.
sunoo turned back around to ignore the brewing argument, but you shrugged and said nothing. trying your best to not fight with him.
it wasnโt long before another fight broke out. the bouncing of his leg? a fight. the tapping of your nails? a fight. sunoo pointing out you were wearing nikiโs hoodie? a fight. โy/n isnโt that rikiโs?,โ sunoo pointed towards the gray hoodie on your body. you looked towards the hoodie and shrugged, โyeah i guess so i just grabbed one,โ your eyes quickly glanced at niki who had a scowl on his face. โmaybe ask before wearing someone else's clothes,โ his voice was cold.
โbut i did, i asked to borrow a hoodie.โ you were quick to defend yourself. โwell you didnโt ask to borrow mine so why are you wearing it?โ his eyebrows were furrowed. you turned towards niki, angry. โwhy are you so upset about it? itโs just a hoodie, iโll take it off. iโm trying to be nice but youโre being a prick,โ your hands reached for the zipper pulling it off and tossing it towards him.
your perfume filled his senses as he folded the hoodie and set it beside him. his heart was racing for many different reasons, the glances from the boys made him more angry. โno one wants you here anyway, so of course iโm being a prick,โ niki seethed. โiโll have you know the boys want me here, otherwise i wouldnโt of been invited,โ niki laughed. โyouโre only here because they pity you, because you cling to themโto everyone like an abandoned puppy. nobody wants you here.โ
it felt like your heart stopped. โriki thatโs not true,โ sunoo spoke up. you drown them out turning towards the window ignoring the boys attempts to speak to you, ignoring nikiโs longing glance. his own heart wrenching as he caught sight of the tears welling in your waterline. he put his headphones in and turned towards his window. the familiar sounds of his alternative playlist playing. his leg continued to bounce yet this time you were dead silent. ignoring him all together, he hated to admit it but he missed the attention.
what felt like hours passed before niki couldnโt take it anymore. he plucked one of his earbuds out, handing it to you. you looked at the earbud, then up at him. he wasnโt looking at you, but the thought of hearing music was better than whatever silence your latest fight had caused. swallowing the lump in your throat, you placed the earbud in your ear.
the familiar lyrics of โif iโm james dean, youโre audrey hepburnโ filled your ears. your eyes widened not expecting niki to share the same music taste as you. taking the risk you scooted closer to him, to shorten the length of the headphone wire. he let out a deep breath, relaxing his body resting closer to yours.
niki took the peace between you as his chance to apologize. the car intensely quiet, he didnโt trust his voice to come out as a whisper. nikiโs hand wrapped softly around your wrist, pulling your arm towards him. he waited to see if youโd pull away, when you didnโt he took a breath. using his finger he carefully spelled out โiโm sorry. your breath was caught in your throat, as your heart was hammering against your chest. niki stopped spelling but his hand remain on your wrist, his fingers itching to lace with yours.
taking a chance you opened your hand, palm up. niki was quick to lace his fingers in yours. the song continues between the two of you. sealing your feelings for each other. you leaned your head against his shoulder, your body relaxing against his. niki sighed contently resting his head on yours, his hand holding yours like youโd disappear if he let go.
your relationship was far from mended, the two of you were content with the comforting silence you created. the music and movement of the car was enough to lull both of you to sleep.
in the front seat jake and jungwon shared a knowing look, jungwon grinning knowing he purposely took your headphones. jake smirked knowing their plan worked, and theyโre friendcation would be peaceful afterall.
authorโs note: eeeek my first riki fic ๐ฅณ hope you all enjoyed it โก!!
taglist: @jjunieworld @304files @babymochibeargyu @miaroseindreamland @seuliecore @seobluv @ray0magdalene @mimisxs @ppeachyttae @capri-cuntz @eneiyri @50-husbands @riksaes @imma-jiki @luvvhaos (if your name is bold i couldnโt tag you)
love , echo โ๏ธโ โก๐ เฃช
ยฉ jjunberry - all rights reserved. please do not repost on any social media sites, translate, or modify any of my works.
genre: fluff, angst no comfort, lovers to strangers
wc: ~600
cw: /
synopsis: the three times choi beomgyu told you he loved you.ย
notes: listen to heather by conan gray while reading!
thank you to flo (@tsukette), cherry (@staranghae), & lav (@sunny-reis) for beta reading!
ยฉ๏ธ hotteoki || do not translate or repost on to any other platforms
the first time, it had been backstage during one of his rehearsals for a play he was about to star in. he was the main lead. you were friends with the female lead. he mentioned before she was soobinโs cousinโ or was it taehyun? he got the role after weeks of practicing with you and auditioning with clammy hands. you remembered being so proud of him when he skipped over to tell you, hugging him excitedly as he lifted you from the ground and spun you around.
he had his earbuds in, youhadย looked over at him trying to figure what he was listening to,ย though you never got to find out. nirvana, perhaps? you knew he liked their songs. he caught you staring at him. it was embarrassing for you, but he didnโt mind. he simply gave you a soft smile, mouthing those three words to you. you thought you were imagining things.ย
the second time, it was after that very rehearsal. he did so well. to celebrate, he took you on a walk by the han river. โthatโs so clichรฉ,โ you muttered teasingly upon seeing where you were headed. โpardon me for being a gentleman,โ he retorted, giving you a kiss on the head. you caught a faint scent on his clothes, and you smiled, knowing it was about to be your new reason to steal his clothes.ย
he liked stopping every now and then to take pictures of the sunset, and you liked stopping during those momentsย to take pictures of him. he caught on soon enough, and laughed loudly, but didnโt bother resisting it. he then pulled you by your hand to his side, pressing his forehead against yours. โyโknow i meant it, right? i really do love youโย
the third time, itโs after exams. heโs walking you home, as usual, with one of his earbuds in your ear and the other in his. heโs wearing his black hoodie, and his scent is stronger than ever. it isnโt the one you normally recognise on him, though.ย
he sits down by the fence, dragging you to sit down next to him as well. he smiles cheekily, before he continues to talk mindlessly about his day, but the winter breeze sending the whiffs of perfume in your direction reminds you of what you have to do. you steel yourself before speaking.
โbeomgyu, we have to talkโย his cute little frown appears, โwhy, whatโs wrong?โ you sigh, โplease just admit it.โย
โฆ
โwhat do you mean?โ โbeomgyu, iโm not stupid. i see the way you act around her, and before you interrupt me, you canโt use the play as an excuse anymore, itโs been four months. even when weโre together, your eyes wander to her direction. when we talk about your day, it always manages to include her somehow. hell- beomgyu i can even smell her on you!โย
โฆ
โbut i love youโย
your vision blurs. you canโt see his face anymore, โno you donโt, beomie.โ youโre shaking your head. he looks at you pleadingly.
โฆ
โbut i doโฆโย
โno, beomie, you donโt. please donโt make this any harder than it is.โ youโre standing up, โiโve made this decision long ago, and iโve made my peace with it.โย
you bend down to give him a final hug, but before he can even process your actions,
you leave and never look back, not even when he calls for your name again.ย
the two times choi beomgyu told you he loved you, he meant it.ย
the third time choi beomgyu tells you he loves you, he lies.
-> way overdue overview of this criminal minds x atz au ๐ฅฑ
so i'll probably post a drabble on this later but rn this is kinda jst my idea on what the members' personalities will be like...anyways...
---
Hongjoong:
so Joong is pretty much like Hotch even though they're nothing alike. they present themselves differently but there are a few similarities between them. he's the leader of the group which is pretty much the whole reason i related him to Hotch in the first place. Joong is also a hardworker who doesn't really know how to take a break. he's very committed and passionate and supportive of his members which is again like Hotch.
Seonghwa:
Hwa reminds me of JJ. he's hardworking and organized which reminds me a lot of JJ. he seems like he would do very well in comforting people when informing them of something bad. (which is a big part of her job.) also she deals a lot with the press and the way Hwa is easily able to change between his normal self and stage presence self makes me think that he would be good at being in front of a camera.
San:
San gives off Morgan vibes with a mix of Hotch if that makes sense. he's very much a logical person which also makes him understanding. he knows when to joke and if he maybe takes something too far he can admit that he did and apologize for it. if he does something wrong he most likely wont realize it until someone else points it out. also he just seems like the type to like kicking down doors and tackling people. he enjoys his job a lot but sometimes he questions whether or not if he wants to keep doing it.
Yunho:
Yunho is 100% Garcia. they both give off golden retriever/puppy dog sunshine energy. Yunho loves his job most definitely. he's very intuitive and knows when something is wrong with his members. he's always there to talk and he loves being able to be that kind of emotional support. he's funny and witty. he definitely knows how to lighten the mood and just very positive in general.
Wooyoung:
Wooyoung for me is the hardest to place. he's a really good mix of Morgan, Garcia, and Prentiss. he's very playful and childish but he's also very emotional. he's the first to crack a joke but can also be the first to feel attacked if someone shoots a joke back. he's most definitely hardworking and whenever need be he knows how to get serious. he tries to lighten the mood because sometimes his job can be overwhelming to him since his personality is way different than it.
Jongho:
Jongho is most definitely a mix between Luke, Hotch, and Prentiss. his is gonna be short because i feel like his personality mix for this au just kinda makes sense. he's hardworking. he likes to joke but he's quiet most of the time. everyone thought he was pretty uptight at first but after a while they realized he's just a huge softy.
Yeosang:
Yeo is a mix of Reid and Garcia. he's the type to be very logical and witty. he's smart but not the type of smart that Reid is (meaning he doesn't info dump all the time. dw i love Reid and his info dumping sm ๐ซข) but he's the type of smart that's quiet about his brain and uses it to his advantage to make you feel a little dumb - meaning if you say something wrong he'll casually correct you, if you don't know something/you're struggling and you ask him for help, he'll figure it out really quick making you feel dumb for not being able to get it. he gives very much golden-retriever vibes but a little watered down if that makes sense.
Mingi:
Mingi is kind of a mix between Reid, Garcia, and Morgan. he's funny, smart, hardworking, witty, energetic, and determined. he knows what he wants and he goes for it. he tries his best but sometimes he feels like he's not as good at his job as everyone else is. he gets overwhelmed fairly easily which leads him to be all over the place at times. once he composes himself, though, he's ready to go again. he's very much a people pleaser.
---
-> note, these don't accurately reflect ateez in real life nor the characters in the show. these views are just how i think each member would act if they had to be categorized into personality charts that are based off of the BAU members. (i hope that makes sense.)
anyways it took me all day to write this so expect a drabble within the next week because i'm a lil too tired for it now. ๐ bye pooks <3
SUMMARY โธ in which you work at the starbucks where heeseung is a regular at (and considered a public enemy). also he only goes when heโs stoned off his ass.
pairing: non-idol!seungkwan x gn!reader, ft roommate!dk
word count: 9.3k~
warnings: angst, no happy ending. usage of the hanahaki disease trope + mentions of surgery (& hospitals). heartbreak, depictions of illness (via hanahaki), reader struggles with breathing some. vernon says โdudeโ but its unclear whether its aimed at reader or toward chan (it can be easily read either way). minimal proofreading, my bad.
daisyโs notes: ok google play flower + fallinโ flower by svt. in my heart theres a sequel of reader n joshua + jeonghan (or just reader and seokmin tbh, both could work) slowly falling in love lol but i doubt anyone wants that fic
It all started with a tickle in the back of your throat in early winter.
In your defense, youโd just thought you were coming down with something. From the corner of a cozy cafe, you waited for Seungkwan with a burning hot cup of tea in a to-go cup between your hands. Maybe youโd make another cup when you went homeโblack tea, maybe, with honey for your health. Seokmin would probably give you a soup recipe if you asked and help you make it, too (the perks of having a lovely roommate). But that could wait, as you saw Seungkwan walk into the cafe. He spotted you, smiling and waving before he went to order his Americano. Heโd asked you to meet him here, and yet youโd arrived before he did. Youโd tease him about it later: you always seemed to be the one who showed up to places before he did (out of habit for getting places early, to be fair).
Soon enough, Seungkwan had sat across from you, making small talk while he opened the plastic. Youโd been talking about work when you noticed the way he fumbled the straw, the plastic hitting the table.
You remembered things like that, special little occasions that commemorated some momentous event. You felt that if you could always remember to celebrate the occasions, you could keep a grasp on whatever it commemorated, drag it out, nurture it, keep it alive.
It has been one whole year dating the most wonderful boy! A kind, beautiful boy who gave you a chance when everyone else didnโt even spare a glance. Sometimes, you felt like it was too good to be true. An ugly girl like you, hanging out with Choi Soobin? Dating Choi Soobin? How ridiculous it seems some daysโฆ that the two of you have even lasted this long. Maybe it was all a dream, and one day you would wake up and it'd just be you again. Only, that too seemed unfathomable. How could you be alone again, now that you were used to Soobin?
You couldn'tโฆ
For this special day, you decided to write him a letter, to finally let down all the walls you once had built up so high, and put forth all your emotions youโd kept concealed for so long. Raw and real, albeit on a piece of paper. And you decided to bake him a cake! A dark chocolate cake that didnโt look all that pretty and didnโt taste exceptionally delicious, but you had tried your best and really, isnโt that all you needed to do? Try your best and ye shall succeed.
You wrapped up the cake in a cute little gift box you had picked out, decorated in a pretty bow, hoping the neatly industrial made package will make up for the mediocre mess of a cake hiding inside. To top it off, you folded your letter in an envelope placed on the curly ribbon.
The plan was to surprise him at the dance studio, because who doesnโt like surprises? You had read they can be just as great as a gift itself. And because you were so excited, never having to been able to do something like this before, you even stopped by a flower shop on the way to buy a pretty little bouquet of yellow roses โ to represent joy and friendship AND because itโs a bright, happy color that represented the way Soobin had made you feel ever since he stepped into your world.
There was a pep in your step as you walked down the hall towards his practice room, the box and bouquet clutched tightly in your embrace. Your heart swelled, and you felt so giddy, so happy to give your love. But an uneasiness began to swarm; what if Soobin doesnโt like the gift? What if Soobin thinks the flowers are ugly? What if Soobin thinks the whole anniversary thing is dumb?
What if Soobin..
โSo are you like actually dating her now?โ
You were almost outside the door to the practice room when you heard a voice.. Beomgyu, another member of the dance team Soobin was on. Quietly, you made your way over to the small window in the door; you could see their reflections on the mirrors. Three boys lounging lazily on the laminate floor a few feet apart from each other. Instead of popping in and presenting the gift you had prepared for your boyfriend, you remained outside, deciding to eavesdrop on their conversation instead.
โWasnโt that part of the game plan?โ Soobin spoke next.
โWell, the game plan was just to get her to have sex with you,โ Yeonjun sniggered, and Soobin only narrowed his eyes at his friendsโ the atmosphere unpleasant. You felt the air suddenly become stiff, unsure of who they were talking about; hoping, praying it didnโt involve youโฆ
โYeah well, I needed her to trust me? So yeah, I guess I dated her for awhile.โ
โBut it's different now, right?" Yeonjun smirked, but it wasnโt a pleasant look on his usual charming face.
"What the fuck do you mean?" Soobinโs smile faltered.
"Y/N means more to you now, doesn't she?โ A name drop. You had never felt your heart beat so quickly and loud. You held your breathโ you couldn't breathe, you were so nervous. The hand holding cake shookโ your entire body shook.
โYou have feelings for her now. Do you actually love her?โ Yeonjun laughed bitterly, and you wondered what about that was so funny. But then your reality began crashing down all around youโฆ
Does he not?
But it was Soobin who came to you with the kindest of smile, like an angelโ like a beacon of color, that instantly lit up your dull, dark world. He chose you out of everyone! Heโd seen you at your worst and stayed right by your side; He was your security and comfort; Heโd shown you love when no one else ever had. He had given you the world and more because he loves you... Soobin LOVES youโฆ
โฆRight?
"I don't know what you're talking about," Soobin finally answered. โIt was just a game. Do I love her,โ a disgusted scoff, "Like come on! Open your eyes, have you seen her?โ
"You're lying, Soobin~โ Beomgyu teased, head thrown back in almost manic laughter.
"Whatever. Look, I got her into bed, we fucked, okay? Pay up."
You watched with large eyes as Yeonjun chuckled and took out his wallet. How much was that? 10,000. 1, 2, 3, 4...10. So 100,000 won then. Your heart shattered as you watched the boy you once believed to be the savior of your life easily collect his reward he earned out of making an utter fool out of of you, your feelings, your bodyโฆ
And just like that, you felt your world collapse.
You really were nothing more than a joke.
The gifts you had spent so much time and effort on fell carelessly to the ground, with the cake box and bouquet crashing against the tile. And Soobin unwittingly met your eyes through the window.
"Y/N," Soobin whispered, eyes wide. Then louder, "Y/N!" He jumped up from the floor and bolted towards the door, where you were still standing motionlessly. "Y/N, listen." Soobin reached his hand out, intending to take you by the shoulder. But you flinched and backed away. Your eyes stared at Soobinโs, so helpless and hurt. His throat tightened. โY/N, it's not true. I didn't meanโโ Soobin tried again to reach for you, but this time you slap his hand away. It wasn't a malicious slap, just one in self-defense, fighting for survival, just like you always did before โY/N..."
The other two were watching, eyes first shocked, then unreadable. Neither of you notice.
"Y/N, we need to talk. I didn't meanโโ
"Sorry." Your voice came out in a weak croak. "Sorry, I didn't know..."
"What?" Soobin looked panicked now. "No, I should be apologizing. Y/N, I'm the one who's sorryโโ
"โI thought you were okay with...but I..." You were beginning to walk away even as you reached for the words. Your bleary eyes fixed on the groundโ you couldn't bear to look at Soobin, not for another second. "I didn't know you would be so... repulsed. But I should have, of course. Who would wantโ want me?" You laughed self-deprecatingly, broken tears slipping down your face as what felt like a million knives plunged mercilessly into your heart. You knew it. You always knew this was too good to be true.
Yet you fell for it. Always falling for it.
He never loved you.
No one would ever love you.
You wanted to pick up your feet and run. Soobin was reaching for you again, but you yelled "No, don't touch me! I'm stupid. I was the one who misunderstood. Just donโt touch me."
And finally, you did run.
And Soobin just stared after you, frozen as his world collapsed on him, too.
