Late to the meeting

He/him only / vent blog of a 20 yr old autistic polish 🏳️‍⚧️ man / bigots fuck off / read pinned to block or filter my vent tag if you follow / things sometimes fall into kink, you have been warned. / i yap about things primarily relating to trans men and mascs and believe groups should have authority to coin terms to describe bigotry that primarily targets them. if I care to get serious.

[luckiestboy]

Might as well make a proper pinned master post or whatever.

I'm Bonk, an intersex, transgender, autistic and disabled "man", you will only use he/him pronouns when speaking about us. We don't trust anyone to use any other ones. There's something deeply wrong with us.

We go between "I" and "we". That depends on how distressed we are. There is no further explanation for this. Assume the use of "we/us" only refers to "bonk" unless stated otherwise.

We are also not human, this is not tied to gender for us.

If you ever impose "human" or "humanity" onto us, see yourself out. We are a human shaped entity at best. Not being human isn't some fun silly thing for us specifically, it is extrapolation of the treatment humans have put us through, this discomfort is preferred to being played up as something of higher abilities.

This blog is not anything useful, or educational. you shouldn't follow us, if you choose to do so anyway, at least be above 18.

We've given up on the delusion that we're "helpful" or "capable" of proper analysis there will be nothing of use, our "opinions" don't count.

Consider this a vent blog, or means to digitally tear ourselves apart.

Tags we use are:

"Bonkillion ramblings" / "bonkillion additions" / "bonkillion reblogs" / "bonkillion tags" - all self explanatory. We don't always properly include trigger warnings in our reblogs. That isn't intentional but be aware of this moving forward.

"Retard diaries" will be a tag where all the personal attempts at mental self-destruction go. Posts with this tag won't include any other tag, if you want to follow us, and don't wish to see said posts, block the tag. You are not obligated to hear these miserable wails.

We routinely call ourselves a retard whilst on this blog. We tend to avoid using it while reblogging from others. If you have a problem with that, move on with your day. Your discomfort with something using the term "retard" on itself, is not our problem.

If you have a problem with us existing as is. Too bad. You will have to live with the knowledge this miserable piece of shit will one day kill itself. It is unclear when that'll be. One more day without testosterone, one more creak of the old chair keeping us from hanging.

One day the rotting old wood soaking up silent tears will break. Good riddance.

[oneannoyingjestress]

Happy pride month! Stop blaming trans men for everything.

[ieatratsyummy]

You should be outraged for Murry Foust. He was missing for 28 days, almost a month. And he wasn't found by the police, or a police organized search party. No. No, he was found by an independently led group.

And of course, the police are claiming "no foul play" in Murry's death.

We need to be angrier.

[this-is-varsexism-transphobia]

AFAB/AMAB describes an event, not an identity.

[PT: AFAB/AMAB describes an event, not an identity. /End PT]

AFAB is not a noun. AMAB is not a noun. It is an acronym for an *event* - that event being what was written on your birth certificate. AFAB = assigned female at birth. AMAB = assigned male at birth.

Think about how the acronyms would sound if fully written out.

"AFABS are-" turns into "assigned female at births are-"

...Do you see how weird that is?

"AMAB people-" turns into "assigned male at birth people"

...Which is also grammatically incorrect. It should be "people AMAB/AFAB." Put the people beforehand, not afterwards.

"I'm AFAB/AMAB" turns into "I am assigned male/female at birth"

...Which speaks in present tense about a past tense event. It should be "I *was* AFAB/AMAB."

Also, AFAB/AMAB does not describe puberty, sex traits, or how you are viewed societally. Stop using them that way!

[PT: Also, AFAB/AMAB does not describe puberty, sex traits, or how you are viewed societally. Stop using them that way! /End PT]

"AFAB/AMAB" is only about what was written on a birth certificate.

Intersex people AMAB may have a vulva or atypical genitalia, a mullerian duct (uterus, ovaries, fallopian tubes) or ambiguous or no reproductive organs, an estrogenized puberty (breasts, widened hips, higher voice, less body/facial hair, etc) or a androestrogenized or absent puberty, etc.

Intersex people AFAB may have a penis or atypical genitalia, a wolffian duct (prostate, seminal vesicles, vas deferens, testicles) or ambiguous or no reproductive organs, an androgenized puberty (increased muscle mass, deepened voice, more body/facial hair, etc) or androestrogenized or absent puberty.

Even perisex people AFAB or perisex people AMAB may have an alternative puberty or no puberty due to HRT or gonad damage.

Instead of using AFAB/AMAB, say what you mean. Name specific body parts. Name specific puberties. Name specific capabilities.

Use actual words for anatomy. Say mullerian duct (or the individual parts, such as cervix, uterus, fallopian tubes, ovaries, etc), wolffian duct (or the individual parts, such as testicles, vas deferens, seminal vesicles, prostate,) ambiguous reproductive duct (or individual parts also seen in mullerian ducts and wolffian ducts), ovotestes, vulva (or individual parts, such as labia minora, labia majora, clitoris, vagina, urethra,) penis (or individual parts, such as scrotum, phallus, urethra), urogenital sinus, cloaca, ambiguous genitalia (or individual parts, such as clitorophallus, labioscrotum, or previously listed traits also seen in vulvas and penises), breasts, increased muscle mass, thickened vocal cords, etc.

If you're talking about puberty, name the specific puberty (estrogenized, androgenized, androestrogenized). Or say what body part you're referring to (ie; "people with breasts.")

If you're talking about menstruation and reproduction, name the abilities. People who menstruate, people capable of pregnancy, people capable of impregnating others, people capable of ovulation, people capable of sperm production, etc.

If you're talking about how society views someone, say socially imposed as female, socially imposed as male, consistent socially imposed gender, and inconsistent socially imposed gender. (More on that here [link.])

[luckiestboy]

Happy pride to trans and/or intersex men.

Happy pride to trans and/or intersex boys.

And especially to those who are T&I men/boys of color, and/or disabled, and/or closeted and/or out and proud and/or at any point in their transition regardless if you're taking the medical route too and those who bind and those who don't bind and those who can't bind and those who are masculine and those who are feminine and those who are neither or both

Happy pride to them and them only.

[leadspoisoning]

perisex ppl think intersex ppl being amab/afab means that our sex characteristics are automatically like theirs & like we'll grow up perceived the way perisex people are & like there's no variation in the things we experience medically socially etc. and many ppl who are perisex think they understand this yet they don't actually tend to get it and u can tell from how they argue abt us.

[jazzyloveswomen]

I often feel like we're the Schrödinger's Cat of bioessentialism, I fear.

Perisex people are almost universally intersexist to some degree (it came free with living in an intersexist society), and they will alternatingly insist we're "just an [agab related identity term] with a ~disorder~" and that we're gender freaks who will never be a "real"..anything.

Trans people will use our existence as a talking point, a gotcha against transphobes, "How can you say transphobia is 'basic biology' when sex is a spectrum too? Look at intersex people!" they'll say.

But then those same trans people revolve their worldview of gender and trans identity so heavily around "agab" that suddenly, when it comes to trans conversations, we're "Just an [agab] with a disorder" to them, and trying to speak up on how our experiences with cagab and sig are so fundamentally different from the perisex experience that trying to put us into perisex normative boxes is fundamentally harmful to intersex people only ever leads to us being spoken over by perisex trans people.

Cis people will do almost the inverse, where, when using intersex people as a cudgel in transphobic arguments (which both sides do), cis people will lean into this idea that intersex people are just their agab, "they still have xy or xx chromosomes! they still have a primarily 'female' or 'masculine 'male' reproductive system!"

But then, again, those same cis people switch up when dealing with us directly. We're malgendered, misgendered, degendered, denied access to cis manhood/womanhood, subject to both social and medical abuse and biases for our whole lives, because fundamentally cisgender people do not see us as "just [agab] with a disorder", they see us as something other, something to be gawked at (at best) or eradicated (at worst), even cis people who don't really know what intersex people are and lump us in as "trannys" regardless of if you're trans or not.

We are lumped into our agab when we push back against bioessentialist frameworks, because at the end of the day we're "Just disordered [agab] people", but functionally, materially, in almost all aspects of our lives, we are not granted access to pericis manhood/womanhood, and when we try to bring this up, we're spoken over, called "collateral" of transphobia at best (because many people don't believe intersexism exists), and are told to shut up, because intersexism isn't treated as a legitimate axis of oppression, and perisex people fundamentally refuse to accept that our relationship with cagab and sig will never match theirs, or that any model which fails to account for this fact is incomplete at best and willfully intersexist at worst.

[luckiestboy]

I've found its a little broader than just one category. It's either "agab with a disorder", "this is a normal (read perisex) thing it's just because the human body is so mysterious and varied. You're normal" (variation is erased) which can also be "this is normal (read, perisex) to have but you should get that altered because it's icky to keep it." Or the secret "weird but it'll go away once you have sex"

[trans-masked]

These are on a video of a cis man calling out a politician for laughing at a program that gives resources to pregnant trans teenagers. Notice how the commenters all say “men” rather than boys… remind you of anything?

[luckiestboy]

I'm gonna repeat it for those In the notes who have moved the topic toward trans men.

THIS IS ABOUT TRANS BOYS. BOYS. PEOPLE WHO ARE UNDERAGE. CAN WE FUCKING FOCUS HOW PEOPLE ARE MOCKING TEEN PREGNANCY BECAUSE IT'S ABOUT TRANS BOYS???

[one-hell-of-a-showtime]

I freaking hate seeing queer creators that I enjoy and look up to (especially TRANSMASC/TRANS MEN creators!!) be so awful about trans men and mascs trying to talk about how we’re oppressed. Like it’s most definitely not “only trans women” who are being attacked right now.

T has /been/ a controlled substance. “ROGD” was aimed at “mutilated girls”. Do none of you remember the Irreversible Damage book. That Joanne Rowling specifically got mad at gender-neutral language regarding menstruation and periods and said that people transition because of “the allure of escaping womanhood”.

Do all of you think erasure = safety? And that we only are “accidentally” and “less importantly” hurt?

We are all shot at by the same gun, but you still turn the knife on the rest of your kin.

[transguyjusttrying]

I've seen a few people claiming that trans men talking about being forcibly impregnated is just a means to weaponize our anatomy against people who can't get pregnant. This framing is honestly vile.

They ignore the fact that not everyone with a fertile uterus and ovaries, regardless of gender, wants to get pregnant and give birth. They ignore the fact that a lot of us live in places where abortion is difficult, if not impossible, to access. They ignore the fact that pregnancy permanently alters a person's body, and that it can be lethal.

I've even seen some try to point out that some trans men/mascs intentionally get pregnant and give birth as some sort of "gotcha," but those guys are just as capable of making their own choices as the rest of us. The existence of men who choose to carry children does not invalidate those of us who are unwilling.

If you can't get pregnant even though you want to, that does genuinely suck. I can see how it would hurt and make you angry. But that doesn't even come close to being forced to sacrifice the wellbeing and autonomy of your body to incibate a fetus, and you really can't pretend that it's anywhere near the same situation. It doesn't give you the go-ahead to treat people like shit for their anatomy while you accuse them of weaponizing it for just talking about our thoughts and experiences.

[luckiestboy]

Dear trans people* who want the capacity for pregnancy but lack it and are dysphoric about it: please shut the fuck up. It's not about you.

Anyone talking about forced pregnancy as a tool of (typically medical, but it can also be social) detransition is not trying to personally trigger your dysphoria.

This is a personal gripe each time I see more about the topic, but i'm rather sick of feeling like the topic needs to be tiptoed around, like a disclaimer needs to be there for someone else's dysphoria. I am also sick of having to be cordial when others make it about their dyspyoria. Us speaking on our issues isn't about you nor does it imply anything about you and vice versa.

If someone's dysphoria is triggered by others being themselves or speaking on certain things, that is the dysphoric person's responsibility to work through. Silencing important conversations around systemic issues because of how you feel about it, is not that.

*use of trans people at the start is here to include those who aren't women and/or transfem yet still share the same dysphoria.

*use of you is not indicative of OP. It is used generally.

[transxfiles]

this pride month i want everyone to consider the benefits of abolishing the sex binary

[transxfiles]

furthermore, abolish the government systems that require people to categorize themselves into gendered categories. why do y'all need to know that.

[transxfiles]

no more assigning babies a legal sex at birth. i feel like this should go without saying, but no more surgeries on intersex infants. no more surgeries on intersex children. embrace intersex traits as natural. because they are.

no more gendered dress codes. no more gender markers on passports, driver's licenses, ids. i'm not talking about "adding x" or "adding a third category" i'm talking about no more categories, period. why does the government need to know what my genital situation is? why does the government feel the need to assign me a sex on the basis of genitals? why does the cop who pulled me over need to see an m, or an f, or an x?

no more "gender is a social construct, sex is the thing that's binary." sex is not binary. abolish the idea that it is. normalize conversations about intersex traits. being intersex is natural. the sex binary is a thing imposed by the state.

no more gendered sports. if you really care about equity, sort people into categories based on skill level and athleticism, not gender or sex. the concept that there are only two sexes and that one is inherently weaker than the other is pseudoscience. the male/female hunter/gatherer dichotomy is not based in fact, and is a product of modern sexist cultural biases. one gender is not inherently subservient to the other. people are not inherently different on the basis of sex or gender. it is just more complicated than that.

the concept of multiple genders and sexes beyond the man/woman male/female dichotomy has existed as long as humans have existed. the sex binary only serves to benefit the patriarchy. the gender binary only serves to benefit the patriarchy. continuing to impose it just controls (and harms) the people it forcibly categorizes.

i'm not asking for the end of gender, i'm calling for an acknowledgement of gender and sex that understands the infinite diversity of the human species. i'm suggesting an end to binary systems that only benefit the ruling class. just think about it. okay?

[kittenscratches]

what i was trying to say in my essay is that, in my opinion, calling someone fe/male is not the same as calling them a wo/man, because sex and gender are not equivalent. i don’t expect you to say anything specific, i just wanted to present an alternative framing

It's. Still misgendering. And most people *do* think they are the same thing. But trans men are *still not female* at large outside of individual identities. And that is *still* terf rhetoric to say they are.

[luckiestboy]

With the "male/female" dichotomy being so closely tied to "man/woman" in today's society I can't take anyone calling a group such things seriously. You can't seperate the idea that "female = woman" from everyone.

You can individually do this for yourself. That's about it.

At the same time the social species of humans have grown past these restrictive ideas. People of varied genders share the same traits anyway. Broadly speaking there's no way to use the M/F dichotomy without being inconsiderate of others.

Having a Muellerian duct does not make someone female

Having a wolffian duct does not make someone male.

Having a vulva doesn't make someone female.

Having a phallus doesn't make someone male

You can decide that you consider yourself male or female for any reason. Purely out of vibes for all I care. Because that is what makes someone male or female, vibes.

Male and female are made up categories much like any other category. They're made to sort physical bodies into one or the other when those bodies do not exist on a line. They're useless outside individual descriptors.

[gaitou]

do you remember Angel Maxine, the artist behind this song?

Angel opened a gofundme about a month ago, so if possible please consider donating to help fund her future projects :)

Donate to PAY ME FOR EXISTING, organized by Maxine Angel Opoku

I’m Angel Maxine, a trans woman, artist, musician, and activist using my voice, music, and vis… Maxine Angel Opoku needs your support for P

if you aren't able to donate, please share! as of writing this, Angel has only raised €433 out of her €7k goal

[theperksofbeingahugefuckingcunt]

Apparently my stepdad and I are fucking psychically linked because ?? every single time he makes chili for dinner I get a migraine. Without fail. And it became like a ha ha running joke because it happened so many times but now I’m living 3 hours away from my parents and I just texted my mom and

WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME

[theperksofbeingahugefuckingcunt]

Happy disability pride month

[nose-bl]

via @ninjahijabimuse​

this is so much better i love it

[luckiestboy]

Is your profile picture a butthole..

WHY AM I GETTING THIS SORT OF ASK AGAIN??? NO THATS MY BUNNY!!!!!

[luckiestboy]

Fuck you guys I'm updating PFP because of this.

[luckiestboy]

Is your profile picture a butthole..

WHY AM I GETTING THIS SORT OF ASK AGAIN??? NO THATS MY BUNNY!!!!!

[luckiestboy]

Plenty of trans men would disagree with you and I think expecting nobody to share their opinions on something unless they're a certain identity is a type of intellectual segregation that does more harm than good.

This anon is most certainly about me saying "you should leave it to trans men to discuss and decide if something is calling them female."

You can say you don't think it is doing that all you want, but that's irrelevant when you're not part of the group it's about.

Will you listen to an abled person when they say they don't think something's abelist?

[teaboot]

Names that are normal for old people but weird when you're a baby:

Bartholomew

Dolores

Norman

Harold

Magnolia

Names that are normal for babies but weird when you're old:

Maddison

Tanner

Skylar

Mckenzie

Logan

Names that are normal for old people and normal for babies:

Elizabeth

Mary

Michael

Finnegan

Peter

Names that are weird when you're a baby and weird when you're old:

Radish

Kerosene

Australopithecus

Anthill

Hegemony

Names that are weird when you're normal:

Balthazar

Romulus

Clandestia

Persephone

Kremulon

Names that are normal when you're weird:

Al