Lucy Connor

Navigating my way through this whole ‘life’ thing - which is unfortunate because my sense of direction is appalling. 

[lucyconnorblog]

You’d think I’d have posted more stuff for someone who moved to Thailand 7 months ago to teach English. 

Oh well better late than never. Here’s some stuff that’s happened:

1. I’ve had 3 jobs. 2. I’ve met my soulmate. 3. I’ve gotten fat. 

And now, I’ll start at the beginning.

I’ve had 3 jobs.

I did 3 weeks of TEFL training in Phuket, which was basically like reliving freshers at uni. Training was Monday-Friday and you were hungover. If you want to teach in Thailand, I thoroughly recommend paying for a TEFL course and spending 3 weeks getting drunk / spending half your savings:

https://www.teflheaven.com/

Once that was over, I moved to my placement at a school in Lopburi. 

The first job.

There were 8 of us here from training, I knew 3 of the girls from Phuket and the rest came from different training groups.

Lopburi, in case you’ve never heard of it, is some town in Thailand where there’s loads of monkeys. Here’s a video of Karl Pilkington getting molested by them:

Anyway, the school was nice and the kids were cute / little shits. I was a homeroom teacher to Prathom 2 (ages 7-8) and I taught English, Maths and Computer to Prathom 1-3 (ages 6-11). The classes were big, each had about 37 students. More often than not, they were like a bunch of wild animals in a zoo the second I tried to teach them. But it was fun.

The only problem was Lopburi. It’s fine to visit, but not so fine if you’re living there. Obviously, this statement is down to personal preference but on the whole, I found it boring. Small town, with not much going on. Maybe if I’d given it more time, it would’ve been better. But I really wasn’t enjoying it and I hadn’t come to Thailand to count down the days until I went home. 

Among the 7 other girls in Lopburi, there was one that stood out.  Nicole: Unenthused by most things. Blunt, judgemental and sarcastic about everything else. She was what I’d been looking for my whole life. 

And so, “Nucy” was born. “Nucy”  A friendship based around inappropriate jokes at the expense of everyone and everything in everyday life. 

Nicole and I couldn’t be arsed with Lopburi. It was a boring place and everyone there was a ball bag. And most importantly, there were no non-Asian men to give us attention. So one Sunday, during a 5 hour commute from Bangkok to Lopburi, we decided something had to be done.

On Monday we had a Skype interview with a teaching agency and got the job. On Tuesday we went house hunting in Bangkok. On Wednesday we moved in.

The second job. Now we were living in Bangkok, we were were sure to find true happiness. New job, new flat, and male prospects had improved. Gone were the days of matching with Asian rice cookers on Tinder, it was now rife with white backpack wankers visiting Thailand to find themselves.

The job was slightly better paid at 32,000 Baht a month, but living in Bangkok meant we were pretty much completely skint all the time. When we initially moved into our flat, they only had one room so we shared it for the first couple of weeks. Then we both signed up for a 5 month gym contract that cost more than half the rent and decided we should probably just share forever. 

Anyway, at work we weren’t teaching in one set school, we would visit different ones and take different classes. They were all located on the outskirts of Bangkok which meant by the time you were back at the office and prepped for the next day, it was pretty late. At around 8 weeks in, we were starting to think about the next term, which was 3 months away. We weren’t sure if we were going to stay in Thailand, but knew that if we were we wanted better options for work. So while we were clear that we weren’t looking for work right now, we started emailing a few places to enquire. 

One agency were really keen for us to interview with a school who were looking for 2 homeroom teachers for their nursery classes. So we pulled a sicky at work and off we went. The school was amazing, the lunch was free and the salary was 50k. And you know what teaching nursery kids means? It means they nap. And You know what that means? It means you nap.

It all seemed too good to be true, but it wasn’t. Because that’s the thing with “Nucy”, we can’t explain it, but we just seem to have really good luck together. Stuff just falls into place.  The thing is, it was a really good deal and the school didn’t want us next term - they wanted us to start in 2 days.

So we didn’t mean for it to happen, but basically we called in sick on the Tuesday, quit on the Wednesday and started our new job on Thursday.

We’ve since moved flats, into a building that is essentially a hotel. It has a gym, pool, and you can have food from the cafe and restaurant downstairs delivered to your room. We are now ladies of luxury and we don’t have to share a room anymore.

The third job has turned out quite well. We haven’t looked back since. 

The third job.

[lucyconnorblog]

As George Michael once said...

You gotta have faith, faith, faith.

I’m sensing an ongoing theme throughout my posts, which all seem to revolve around change and decisions. 

It’s largely due to the fact that I’m the most indecisive person ever, but I think it’s also pretty normal to be faced with constant indecision throughout your 20′s. I really hate the idea of committing to just one thing, because I want all the things and feel like I’ll miss out. And that I’ll feel stupid if I don’t like the thing I’ve picked. 

As usual, I’ll point out that you might not like a decision, and you might not know if it’ll work out but sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith. 

Right now my leap is moving to Thailand. It could be a disaster, it could be amazing. I just don’t know. But it’ll be an experience either way so “yolo” and all that. A little over a year ago, my leap was breaking up with my boyfriend of 4 and a half years. He was my first love (that expression kinda makes me sick) and I still loved him when I chose to end our relationship. We had our whole lives ahead of us and I got scared that we’d hold each other back from discovering what we really wanted - because we’d always be considering the other person. Fast forward to 2016 - I’m moving to Thailand to teach English and he’s moving to Florida for a year to work at Disney World. There’s no way both of us could have been living out these experiences together. And hey, I lost about a stone in 5 weeks and emerged from my cocoon of deepest depression as a skinny butterfly, and he’s got a six pack now. So win win. I didn’t want to break up with him and I knew it wouldn’t make me happy at the time. But at the end of the day, although I didn’t really know why, I knew it would be best for the both of us. So I made the choice to shatter both of our young and innocent hearts into a million pieces and have thought about that decision every day since. It was the hardest decision I’ve made so far in my life. I don’t wonder whether or not it was the right choice - it was right at the time and I stand by it. I don’t regret it. There was no definitive reason for our break up - we had our ups and downs, and I don’t look back on our relationship with rose tinted glasses only thinking about the good. But as I said, he was my first love. (Ew). So yes, of course it’s sad things didn’t work out. Yes, of course in some way, he will always be special to me. Yes, of course I wonder if we had met at a different time in our lives would things have worked out differently. But you can say that about lots of things and people throughout life. And I’m guessing you say it after any break up when the relationship just isn’t working and you can’t make it work - no matter how much you want it to. But I can’t be sure as this is the only one of that nature that I’ve had. Either way, I know we’re both happier and better off for it.

My point is the same as it always is. Sometimes you have to force yourself to commit to decisions, or you’ll never find out. Come what may, that’s just life. And everything you experience makes you who you are, it helps you grow as a person.

You don’t have to be the same person your whole life. And isn’t that kind of fab?

“I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.”

~ Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

[lucyconnorblog]

Things work out

So apparently, my last piece was an inspiration* because...

I’m moving to Thailand in 7 weeks to teach English.

*an inspiration to no one else but me, but an inspiration none the less.

Briefly visiting Southeast Asia was the best thing that I could’ve done at this stage in my life, because it reminded me that I wanted other things. That I want all the things (or as many of the things as possible). All the experiences, all the people, all the places. And that if I didn’t do something about it, I wouldn’t get any of them. So I did something. And I did it quickly so I wouldn’t have the chance to chicken out. 

Your twenties is a grey area, isn’t it? A big fat messy grey area littered with empty gin bottles, despair and days spent wondering if you’ll ever actually feel like a real adult. Like, when you’ve got your “real” job (whatever that is because you just don’t know yet) and you’re wearing your pencil skirt and driving your BMW to work, will you feel like an adult then? 

No because you still don’t change your bed sheets enough and you laughed at that giant penis drawn on the wall of the pub toilets the other week. Grow up. Adults are very clean and mature and sensible. There is nothing sensible about a sharpie-drawn penis.  It was you wasn’t it? You drew the giant penis.

Anyway. Twenties. Awful grey area of pain and despair. 

If you haven’t managed to get on some kind of career path with some kind of direction, you’re just stumbling through and hoping everything will just work out. Because whatever you’re doing is “fine for now” and you don’t want to be in those circumstances forever. You’re just getting on with it while you figure life out and save up for your BMW. And you know what? It is fine for now. Because things always have a way of working out. You never know exactly how they’ll work out and it’s hardly ever as you’d planned, but they’ll just work.

As long as you keep planning, keep exploring your options, keep questioning what you want and keep trying to figure it all out, you keep things working out. It’s fine to feel stuck and have days where you just don’t care anymore, because you’ve accepted your current situation as a life-long punishment for that time you drew a giant penis on the wall in the pub toilets. But if you’re not where you want to be (even if you don’t really know where that is)  don’t let feeling stuck make you settle. 

Because when you stop the planning / exploring / questioning / figuring out, that’s exactly what you do. And when you settle, when you just give in and accept circumstances that don’t make you happy, it’s harder for those circumstances to change. 

Things are changing for me and I don’t know how it’s going to work out. But right now, things are moving and changing and working.

I’m that perfect combination of terrified and excited to start this terrifying and exciting new chapter in my life. I don’t know if I’ll love it or hate it. I don’t know if I’ll stay there forever and eventually begin my own noodle empire ( i.e get wifi in my flat and name the router ‘noodle empire’ and sit on my bed eating my body weight in noodles until the day I die) or come home after a week. 

But I’m going to find out.   

[lucyconnorblog]

If carpe diem means taking 3 weeks holiday to travel around Southeast Asia...

Then I have seized the day.

I’ve always wanted to travel, and the plan was always to start with making my way around Southeast Asia - it’s easy to research before going, cheap enough to live once you’re out there and there’s a few standard routes to choose from when it comes to the traveling part.

I’d always imagined I’d go with someone and in all honesty, I put it off because I never found that someone. I’m too fabulous / repulsive to have a boyfriend to go with and all of my friends have jobs / babies / boyfriends / other commitments / priorities.

So when my mum and cousin decided to take an impromptu trip and invite me along, it would’ve been stupid of me to say no. And so with 5 days notice and the risk of coming back to no job, I decided to join them.

Obviously, I didn’t expect work to be ok with it.

“Hey guys! I need to book some holiday please, it’s a bit short notice but I need it to start in 5 days. For 3 weeks...”

But by some miracle, I have returned to UK waters employed.

And basically I’m writing this because:

1. In my last post I declared that I would be making an effort to write on a more consistent basis. And that was 5 weeks ago. But now you know my excuse! 3 weeks of it doesn’t even count because I was Southeast Asia-ing. (And for now we’ll just ignore the other 2 weeks.)

The one thing I can say after being away is that I can’t believe that I was ever going to let being on my own stop me from traveling - or at least stop me from trying it. With savings behind me, if I wasn’t enjoying myself I could always just book a ticket home. I’ve come home more open to the idea of solo travel - even though it’s early days because I only got back yesterday and have plenty of time to get scared and talk myself back out of it again...

Basically, being faced with a decision to try something new when you’ve not really got anything to lose can seem daunting. And all the more daunting if you actually have something to lose, like a job / partner / limb or something.

It’s easy to play it safe. It’s easy to stick to what you know, or come up with an ‘easier’ alternative and convince yourself that you’re happy with it. But if you think about it, most of the time the only thing that convinces us to say no is fear. When faced with change, there’s no way of seeing in to the future. There’s no way of knowing if it’s a good or bad change. But if you don’t try you’ll never find out. 

I know that for this trip I wasn’t on my own - but I’ve seen that when traveling you never really have to be, as long as you force yourself to make the effort to speak to people. And if you’ve given it a go but it’s not floating your boat, home is only a plane ticket away. And if you can’t face initiating conversation with a real life human, as long as you’ve got wifi, there’s always Tinder. 

[lucyconnorblog]

A lot can happen in a year

Or you might just get a job in retail and drop off the face of the earth in every other aspect. If you’re me. 

It’s been almost a year since I’ve updated this blog. The blog that I started to share my graduate journey. In fairness, the lack of any written contribution is a pretty accurate representation of where I’m at when it comes to finding that post grad dream job. And I still haven’t actually figured out what that is...

I started working in retail in February last year and have been plodding along ever since. I’ve had an income and with no rent to pay, managed to save some money for traveling at some point. So it’s not all bad. But I’ve also managed to slip into a routine where I generally eat sleep and work. My last blog post was about getting stuck in a jobless depressing rut. And re-reading it has made me realise that I’ve let a whole year go by and done the same thing again - except this time it’s an employed rut. 

I’m not going to say I hate my job, but I don’t exactly love it. “I love being elbow deep in this bag of mouldy onions for minimum wage!” - Said no one ever. 

It could definitely be worse. I work in a health food store, and just so happen to have a genuine interest in fitness and nutrition. So it’s cool learning about new healthy stuff. And buying all of it with 25% discount. And, I love the people I work with which is also a bonus. 

But essentially, I only really wanted my current job to be temporary and it’s already been a year. It’s not going to stop being temporary until I do something about it. 

So I’m back. I’m re-re-re- doing my CV. I’m re-doing my website. But I’m probably not going to be writing that much about either of those things. There’s only so many times you can write something like “I’ve done my CV and it’s still shit. And I still don’t have an interview for anywhere. So today I went for a run, had a few gins and necked 3 packs of hobnobs to make myself feel better”.

I may not know exactly what I want to do with my life, but I know that I enjoy writing and that’s the area I’m aiming for. And I imagine it’s hard to convince people you have a passion for something you never do. Whatever happens, I need to sort my life out instead of just existing and hoping that my circumstances will magically change on their own. 

So I’ll be here, just writing about my life and stuff. 

Maybe 2016 is the year I try the whole ‘investigative journalism’ angle. It could still revolve around my everyday experiences.

I could slap a customer in work. “What I learned from getting sacked for grievous bodily harm”. 

I think that’s enough brainstorming for today. And hope that I don’t turn to acts of physical violence for the purpose of a blog post. 

But then again, I do have a passion for writing and nothing says passion quite like a slap.

[lucyconnorblog]

Stuck in a rut

I thought I’d write an inspirational piece about how depressing it is being an unemployed graduate, why getting work experience at uni is key, and why there's no time like the present to stop procrastinating and start being productive. You can read it on the Graduate Jobs website here:

3 reasons I wish I’d gotten work experience while I was at university.

If you relate to this piece in any way, please don’t kill yourself after reading it - things can only get better guys. Enjoy!

[lucyconnorblog]

Keep rollin'

It's been a while since I've posted, but I've continued to let infographics consume the very fibre of my being, which has taken up a fair bit of my time. I entered this one into the IBC Rising Stars competition - and won a flight to Amsterdam.                                                                Wooh!

Speaking of infographics, check out the latest captivating update from

The Connor Household 

and behold, the first edition of...

Yep. That's an infographic incorporating my cat's faces. NO I DON'T THINK I'VE GONE TOO FAR. I'VE NOT GONE FAR ENOUGH. 

And in other news, I've also been busy making my website. I know you've been refreshing this blog since I mentioned my website-ing goals.  Desperate for an update, you were filled with disappointment and self loathing each time. Well put down that tub of Ben and Jerry's fatty, and mop up those tears of woe. Because 5,986 theme / layout /content changes later, it's finally finished.

DRUMROLL PLEASE. 〜 The moment nobody's been waiting for....

www.Lucy-Connor.com

Tadaaaa.

In case you didn't know, I decided to make a website because I wanted to use it to 'get down with the kids' and showcase my endless list of talents. And with the website live and kicking, it seemed like a good time to update my CV. 

Well. As it happens, my list of talents isn't so 'endless' on my CV. So naturally, after altering the layout, I found myself sulking into my keyboard with the age old saying, "you can't polish a turd", echoing around me.

I'm sure that at some point, everyone has experienced the whole - my CV is crap. > why is there nothing good on it? > why haven't I done anything good? > why do I even have a CV?  - fiasco.  But I'm guessing everyone gets over it, updates their stupid CV, gets a job and realises that maybe their CV wasn't that stupid after all. And there must be someone, somewhere in the world, with a CV worse than mine who has still managed to get a job that they want. Which means there's hope for everyone.

As a wise woman once said to me,  "You can't polish a turd... But you can roll it in glitter".

So on that note, I'm off.  I've got some rolling to do.

[lucyconnorblog]

Welcome to the world of infographics.

After a fair bit of trial and error, I finally settled on a template for my website. I typed up some content for my homepage and quickly realised no matter how many different colours and fonts I used, it looked boring. It was information overload, so I needed to come up with some options for visual content. I ruled out using a photo of myself, which seems to be a thing that people do on websites, because I can't look like a normal human in photos.

                                   I was struggling to come up with another idea, when my housemate suggested I get some kind of infographic made.

- A what now? Don't worry, with the help of other people's explanations, I've catered for all your infographic-question-related needs. 

This example illustrates what makes a good infographic and how effective they can be:

What is an infographic?

It's no surprise that infographics have become hugely popular across sites like Pinterest, (at least one comes up every time I search for something), because they're social media friendly - easily sharable and appealing to audiences.

In fact, they can be up to 80% more appealing than information that takes more effort to consume.

So there's your background and a couple of key facts. The last 2 screen grabs are from a fun little interactive infographic. It moves and everything:

Infographic wizardry 

Ultimately, I decided to make one because they looked pretty. But as you can see, apparently they're effective too. Win win. I found a website called Piktochart that lets you make your own, it's really easy to use and with the 'free' membership there's a few decent templates to choose from. There's loads more, along with advanced publishing options if you pay for the 'pro' membership. The day I discovered Piktochart, was the day my life changed forever. DIY infographics became both the most amazing and soul destroying thing I've ever been introduced to, because I was instantly addicted to them.

During the process of making my own, I found some articles including a post on Buffer revealing tips on what makes the best kind of infographic. One recommends keeping infographics free of "unnecessary embellishments" because "If an element doesn’t serve a purpose, it’s a distraction, not an asset."  Well, I totally ignored that. It all started so innocently... 

"I'll just use a smiley face icon over that stick woman's face. Make it a bit more fun. Aw, that's nice."

If you've ever played the computer game The Sims, you'll be familiar with the process. You casually start it one morning, you know, just for an hour or so. Before you know it, it's 4 in the morning and you can't remember the last time you ate or went to the toilet and you don't even care. 

I spent around 3 days working until 5:30am on my infographic. And it was largely due to unnecessary detail. Like using 13 tiny crescent shapes, intricately layered on top of one another, on a stick woman's head to give her 'hair'. Hey hoe, what's done is done. And it saddens me to say that my infographic is now complete. I've stared at it over and over again, but there's just nothing more I can add. One day in the far far future, you can view it on my website. But if you think it's crap don't tell me - because I actually think I'd start crying / beating people and never stop. 

The moral of the story is: Infographics are a great tool for delivering messages, raising awareness and engaging with an audience. And even if you have no need to do any of those things - every occasion, is an infographic occasion.  - Passive aggressive Facebook status? Infographic it! Maybe more people will care.  - Sending out rejection letters to unsuccessful applicants? Soften the blow with an infographic! Weddings birthdays christmas easter bat mitzvahs graduation new baby new house congratulations commiserations  

Say it with love, say it with an infographic. Yes, I still have some "info-issues" to work through. But that can wait until I've finished making my new infographic.

They are indeed addictive, but arguably productive and useful. And probably not actually addictive if you have a life.

NO I TAKE IT BACK I DON'T CARE. Even if I had a life, even if Ryan gosling came into my room all like -  Ry:"Hey girl, wanna go puppy shopping? My treat". Me:"GO TO HELL RYAN! CAN'T YOU SEE I'M WORKING HERE".

But perhaps if you're not a nut job, you'll be fine.

[lucyconnorblog]

There's no place like home.

Somewhere in-between having a mental breakdown because I didn’t know what I was doing with my life, and discovering the motivation to actually try and do something about it, I realised that there was a problem that would not be solved until I actually had a steady income. After 3 wonderful years of freedom and independence living in London, it was all too apparent that without my student loan I couldn’t afford to rent a cardboard box on the streets of Croydon, let alone anywhere with some walls and a roof. 

And you can’t plug a fridge into a cardboard box. 

So like many graduates, I’m moving back in with my mum while I attempt to get my life together. I love her and I’m really grateful that she’s happy to let me move back in. And she’s not asking me for rent just yet, which is rather kind considering her food bill will be tripling in cost as well.

But no doubt after one week, I will be desperately trying to sell my kidneys so I can move out.

I’m anticipating that there’s no better motivation to get a grip of your life, than your mum chanting and wafting a burning stick of sage around the living room, while you’re trying to watch Cake Boss. So in about two weeks, I’ll be pursuing my return to London life from somewhere in this fieldy area right here:

Who needs civilisation when you’ve got sheep.

You can get more of an idea of what I’ll be experiencing back at home, and probably a little more clarity on the “burning sage” reference, by clicking on this link:

The Connor household

If you’re moving back home because you can’t financially afford otherwise, it might feel like a bit of a step backwards - no matter how well you get on with your family. You might get lucky and a job in the industry you want to progress into in your hometown. But if you want to be somewhere else, even though you know the job experience is good for you and will look great on your CV, it’ll probably still feel like you’re just biding your time. And not necessarily at this time, but at some point in your life, you might find you feel a bit down because things haven’t worked out the way you planned, or the way you thought they would. But stick with it. Keep pursuing your goals, because you never know what’s going to happen, or what opportunities are just around the corner. You might find that your goals end up changing. 

And if you are moving back in with your parents, you might love or hate every minute of it. But if you normally get on with your family, try and remember that this home-stint is, hopefully, the last time you’ll be living with them, so try and enjoy at least some of it. Whether it’s stereotypically your mum’s cooking, or your stupid little sister who spends ages in the bathroom and has an adolescent attitude problem. You don’t get that time back.

So savour that lasagne, and buy your sister a Justin Bieber poster or something when your dole money comes through. It's probably better than spending it on the Sainsbury's 'basics' custard creams / crisp multipacks and extra lives on candy crush that've been helping you through those rough, empty, jobless days. Unless you think adding "gained 2 stone in 2 months and crushed ALL the candy" to your CV will be beneficial to your graduate job search. 

[lucyconnorblog]

Definitely maybe.

My quest to become an upstanding and employable member of society via the web continues. 

I've been chirping up on Twitter, Google+ and Pinterest, although my main Pinterest 'project' at the minute is a burger board... Which is set to private. There's just some things you should keep to yourself. Burgers aside, I thought I should probably sort myself out with a little website as well.

Wow. Bold move considering it doesn't seem like you've got much to share on a website, burger girl.

I'll cross the 'actual content' bridge when I come to it. First things first - making a website. Now obviously, you don’t just build one in a day, at least not one that you’re totally happy with and ready to share with the world. But as I started reading up on all-things-build-your-own-website, it was looking like it I might never reach that point, because apparently there’s loads of great builders to choose from.

I didn’t want to commit to one and spend ages working on it, just to realise another one would have been better. When faced with a number of choices, with so many options to consider… I JUST NEED SOME TIME TO THINK OK? You wouldn’t want to be hanging around while I’m trying to pick out a sandwich in Tesco. We’re talking 20 minutes minimum. Unless it’s just after the lunchtime rush, so they’ve got hardly anything left. And we can’t go forgetting about the ‘reduced’ options.

It’s 70p less than it should have been?! I’ve never tried spicy sausage, what if I don’t like it? But… 70p… You can’t ignore a bargain. 

Anyway, I’ve been looking at all the ‘main’ providers that that come up in Google, or in articles about the best website builders. Squarespace. Wix. Weebly. IM Creator. Designly. GoDaddy. 1&1. Jimdo. Webs. So many different reviews, different features, different price plans. From my experience blogging when we went to India, I’m familiar with Squarespace, so thought I'd investigate.

All of it’s reviews online were great, it seemed to be straightforward and simple to use - major bonus point in my books. There's a choice of 26 lovely looking templates, with the option to swap templates at any time without losing any content from your website. So already Squarespace was the favourite, but I still had to check my other options and thought I'd take a look at some comparison reviews:

I kid you not, this investigation has been going on for the best part of a week. Obviously I’ve not spent every waking minute researching, but once I found out something cool about another option, I had to take some time to weigh up the pros and cons. And then I’d find myself going round in circles. So I’d go back to working on my burger board to give myself a break, deciding I’d ‘think about it again tomorrow’. I probably knew near enough from the beginning that I would choose Squarespace and basically spent a week convincing myself that it was the right decision.

No it’s the wrong choice. No shut up, it’s right! Woah. Nope, try again. Hang on no, it’s definitely the right one. Maybe. 

So if anyone else is having trouble choosing a website builder, I can confirm that there’s an overwhelming number of articles online to help you pick one / make you even more indecisive. And the photos I’ve used in this post have click-through links to a couple of them. You’re welcome. I'll be signing up to Squarespace and with 26 customisable templates to choose from, I'll probably be changing mine continuously until I'm happy. So look out for the link to my website - coming to you in the next 5 to 10 years.

I suppose it’s natural to want some kind of confirmation that we’re making the right decisions. Be it picking the right website builder, committing to one job offer when you’ve got other options, pursuing an idea when we’re not sure if it’ll get us anywhere, or choosing a sandwich. Either way, you can’t put these things off forever. There’s not always a right and wrong, every now and then the difficulty with decision making is that you’d be happy with any of the options. Sometimes you don’t care if you go to Nandos or Pizza Express for dinner - you like pizza and you like chicken. It’s a win win, so shut up and pick one before you end up eating 6 rounds of toast while you contemplate it.

Life’s bittersweet and the grass is always greener. You won’t make the ‘right’ choice all of the time and in the grand scheme of things, everything has a way of working out. Give it 100% and be happy and confident in your decision, at least until something actually happens to make you doubt it. Either you make the ‘right’ choice and everything’s just peachy, or you make the wrong one and learn from it. You don’t know till you try.

And in case you were wondering, it turns out that I’m not a fan of spicy sausage.

[lucyconnorblog]

Passionate, driven and slightly desperate.

The other day, I had an interesting conversation with some social media marketing pro’s. They offered some great advice on where to start with getting into the industry, the main point being that I should have a strong social media presence that shows I’m employable.

Although far from ‘strong’, I thought I at least had a social media presence. A few clicks around my Twitter / Facebook etc… I quickly realised that I have the online presence of a foetus.  But why? I use Tumblr, Pinterest, Instagram, Twitter and Facebook all the time. How can this be?! 

Because I’m a spectator. A stalker. A lurker. I use social media to look at stuff other people have posted. I hardly every contribute my own content, and most of the time I don’t comment on what I’m looking at, or even share stuff that I’ve enjoyed or found interesting. What is wrong with me? I’ve essentially managed to avoid what social media is all about. It’s like I’ve been living under a rock.

The hardest thing I’m tackling at the minute is the likes of LinkedIn and generally trying to make myself look employable on social media.

What’s your occupation? Who do you work for? Tell everyone what you do!

So, I Googled.

I examined the results intently to decide which would be the most helpful and after opening a couple of pages in new tabs, I glanced back at the search bar. In that moment, I realised I was a desperate woman. There were actually some interesting articles about optimising your social media accounts for employability. But my search was still definitely pathetic.  

Since that moment I’ve been researching and slowly trying to ‘social media’ left right and centre. In fact, I was perusing through my new Google+ account, (yep, rolling with the big boys now) when I found an article about the key ingredients of a powerful twitter bio.

Here it is, if you fancy a read.  http://thenextweb.com/socialmedia/2014/07/11/7-key-ingredients-powerful-twitter-bio/

After reading it, I took a good hard look at my own bio and then shared the link on my Google +

Yep. 3 years studying it and I can’t even spell it. Anyway, social media-ing left right and centre. I don’t really know what I’m doing. There’s nothing ‘professional’ about the presence I’m currently developing, but at least I’ve got one now… Is that the right way to look at it? I DON’T KNOW. 

"They told you to focus on your social media presence for employability, and you’re making a board on Pinterest about burgers?"

Yes. Yes I am. Because right now, burgers are better than nothing. And I love a good burger. But seriously, I’ve got bags of passion and enthusiasm for social media marketing and I know that I could be great at it. There’s probably a certain area, brand, or campaign I’d be best suited to, my niche, so to speak. It’s such a fascinating and fast paced industry and I know I’ve got a lot to learn. But getting more savvy on something you’re passionate about somehow feels normal, because you’re learning because you want to. 

 I’ll get there one day. Me and my burgers are going places.

"Hey John, you know who we need running our social media marketing campaign? That burger girl."

"The burger girl?"

"Yeah, you know, the one who loves food and burgers and talks about them all the time."

"OHH, the burger girl? Yeah, why not. I love burgers too." 

You never know.

[lucyconnorblog]

I'm back baby.

And this post is long and photo filled, because that's the way the cookie crumbles. Wow, like three sentences in and I went there with food already. 

First things first - this happened. 

I was so shocked when I found out, I genuinely cried. And for the rest of the evening, every time I thought about it I cried because I never thought in a million years that it would get a first.

And then, this happened.

Hang on.. what...?

WHAT THE WHAAAAAT?!? IS THIS REAL LIFE?!?

OH MY SWEET JESUS CHRIST

I'VE JUST CRIED AND THROWN UP AND EXPLODED AND THERE'S FIREWORKS EVERYWHERE AND WINSTON CHURCHILL JUST HUGGED ME AND LEZO FROM NEWSROUND IS CRYING AND EATING A PIZZA AND IT'S ALL SO BEAUTIFUL

Basically I finished uni with a First and I was in a strange hallucinogenic state of shock, disbelief and joy. Here's some photos from graduation.

Aside from crying out of frustration / stress / social awkwardness because my mother refused to stand within 100 feet of my dad... It was a good day. Awkward that I was crying right before we went to get photos taken and Laura had my make up because it wouldn't fit in my bag. But hey hoe. You couldn't tell I'd been crying on the photos, but I looked hideous in them anyway.  I couldn't have gotten through it without Jakub there to help with operation My-mum-is-childish-and-selfish-so-don't-let-the-parents-meet-or-the-world-will-implode. Dysfunctional families, whatcha gonna do.  Jesus Christ it was the hottest day of the year and I've never sweated so much for such a long period of time in my whole life. I swear my dress was damp with sweat from 1pm till about 7pm. Sexy, I know. I don't think the heat / my sweatiness helped with the stressful family situation to be honest. 

Ooh, I just remembered something even sweatier and sexier. There was one point when me and Laura were stood outside Royal Festival Hall trying to cool down, and I felt / saw / wiped a droplet of sweat that had dripped all the way down the back of my leg. I had this Sally Hansen leg make up on too, so I was petrified I was gonna go all ‘melted Kardashian’ into a pool on the floor with streaky legs. But that stuff is the stuff of gods and it did not budge.  The actual ceremony went on forever and was the most boring thing ever. People in funny hats and robes giving boring speeches in a nicely air conditioned room...I nodded off every now and then because I was so cosy / bored.

And my nan came! She's 86, has a stick to help her walk and doesn't like London. I bought the tickets ages ago, but wasn't sure if she'd actually be able to come, so it was lovely having her there. 

I love my nan because she's funny and cute and she saves pound coins in empty tubes that used to have denture cleaning tablets in. She's opened my eyes to a whole new way of saving. Like I would love to contain my life savings this way... There's something seriously satisfying / exciting about it. 

YOU CAN FIT LIKE 55 QUID IN ONE OF THESE BAD BOYS.

Apart from all-things-uni, I've been doing doing any work I can find to get money. I've done promo work -  working on campaigns giving out samples of stuff and "delivering key messages about the brand". W'hey. And I was logging for a week at the production company Laura's been at.  (Logging is essentially transcribing and noting each change of shot). I got to do a couple of days of street casting too, which was a laugh. We were at BBC Gardener's World Live at the NEC in Birmingham and were basically scouting people to take part in the programme.  Sampling beer / Yakult, gardening events. All in a day's work.  And then with my hard earned cash, I went on a last minute holiday with Jakub.

God, I'm such a stunner.

It was nice spending some time together. It was also nice watching Jakub develop a tan after 10 seconds in the sun, while I turned a raunchy red colour with peeling bum cheeks after dowsing myself in factor 30 round the clock.  And there was one night in this nightclub... Someone had brought a puppy with them - as you do. So I was drunk and stroking a puppy and a group of guys insisted I was Dufffy and got a photo with me and the puppy. And then we met some Geordies who were a laugh and kept buying us shots.  We felt drunk but fine. Until we got back to the hotel. That evening, Jakub and I discovered a whole new level of... 'intimacy' in our relationship. Let's just say, it ain't love till you're naked and throwing up all over your hotel bathroom together. I'm talking sink, bath, toilet. And you would think that's already too much detail. It probably is. So I'll let your imagination run wild with the details I have omitted from this post. 

Anyway. 

It was Philly's birthday the day after graduation, so we arranged a surprise garden party. We had food and Pimms and played gardeny games and it was fun. Naturally, I scurried off at some point during the games to sit at the buffet table hogging the crisps and dip. And the rest of the food. Anyway, there's an 'interesting' video somewhere capturing the "get on your knees, don't use your hands, and eat the donut hanging on the horizontal string in front of you" game. 

Here's the classic "pass an orange from your neck to the neck of the person next to you"

And some snippets of musical statues.

"Animal statues" Note the impressive attempt of the spider at the back.

"Film statues" Poster credit goes to Miss Philippa Edwards. 

And when it got cold and drizzly, we headed inside for a dignified game of Cards Against Humanity. If you don't know what Cards Against Humanity is, you need to reevaluate your life.  It summarises itself as "A card game for horrible people" and provides endless amusement. Google it and buy it. 

And there you have it. I think we're pretty much up to date.

[lucyconnorblog]

Aw, you guys

Yesterday I was rantin' ravin' and misbehavin' because I was stressing that nobody had read my dissertation.

Today, I have never felt so grateful for having wonderful friends and a lovely boyfriend. They've helped me loads - even though they were all really busy with their own work loads and I appreciate it a lot. 

So here's a few hideous photos to say thanks.

[lucyconnorblog]

S.O.S

I am overjoyed that I have written over 12,000 words of utter shit and that no one apart from myself has read any of it. It is extremely reassuring to know that I, and I alone, am the only person to have given me feedback. Christ on a mini fillet I  think it's shit - imagine what someone else would make of it. Everyone else who's crying because "no one apart from my friend / girlfriend / sister / mum /dad's brother's nephews neighbour has looked at my work" can go fuck themselves. At least you've had someone. I just know that there is something very stinky about my dissertation, especially towards the end. But I can't quite put my finger on it.... And I'm sure that if my dad had a brother who had a nephew who had a neighbour, he would be able to give me a little insight. Even a tiny bit. Even a teeny tiny bit of feedback whatsoever would have been rather handy.

I hope my dissertation tutor is being forced to deep throat a cactus and watch two broke girls.

Because the cactus will hurt and two broke girls is shit.

[lucyconnorblog]

I have attacked my 'to do list' aka procrastination to avoid dissertation.

I have paid rent and loads of other shit. I've asked people stuff. Told people stuff. And loads of other stuff...

If being 100% addicted to shit Facebook games qualified for mitigating circumstances for dissertation, I would be sorted right now.

Unfortunately it does not. And therefore I am not.

What I am is drunk. And apparently being drunk alone makes me pro-active in ways that STILL avoid dissertation.

My last two posts have been about Switzerland and skiing and shit. And being there made me realise that I genuinely find it ridiculous that society has such shit expectations of 'us' - aka my generation. 

We go to school. We go to college We go to uni. We finish and struggle to find a job that just gives us money while still trying to 'get into' the career area we want to be in. Or if we're lucky, we get accepted onto a good graduate scheme. Yay. 

We're in our 20's for fucks sake. 

Why do I have to know what I want to do with my life now? Can't deal with this shit. Getting on 'the career' path shouldn't be our priority. It should be enjoying life, having fun! Like travelling. Working a shit job that gives us enough money to invest in the things we enjoy doing. 

Why does that sound like such an absurd idea? Not investing in the choice that gets us dental care, a mortgage and 2.5 kids in the next decade.

Nothing wrong with that like, if that's what you want. Fair enough if getting that dream job does it for you. But I'd generalise and say that regardless of what some want, it's "expected". It's, "the next step".

When I get into my 60's, am I going to think "Oh I'm so glad I struggled, panicked and worked my arse off to get into this industry and it was worth it."

No. I'm not going to think that. Some people will say yes and that's fine. Personally, the only reason I've ever bothered about being "a success"and sorting my life out, is because I want a family when I'm older. It's the only thing I've ever really known that I want. And I want to be able to give them everything, like provide for them and stuff.

Don't get me wrong - I'd love a job that’s somehow to related to copywriting. (That's the "career path" I want to take, so to speak. I think.... for now anyway).

But more than that, I'd love to enjoy life, have fun and do the things that make me happy. I want to get pissed with my mated.  I want to see the world. I want to enjoy spending time completing my scrapbook (because I haven't really added anything to it since I started uni). I want to experience loads of different things and jobs. Bar work, sales, catering, working in a warehouse, promotional work, everything. I want to smell all the fucking roses, not just stroll past them. Because I reckon you're going to learn the most from life by experiencing it in different areas, from different perspectives. But that's just me. (And yes, I'm aware I listed five possible job areas when there's hundreds of thousands). 

In the world we've 'grown up' in, it just doesn't seem like there's enough time for that. In all honesty, we've grown up with bollocks. There was a time when you could do both - have fun in your 20's and realise you needed to sort yourself out in your 30's. But now, if you "waste" your time in your 20's, you miss out on opportunities. You end up behind. You can't get into the career you want because everyone else "sorted themselves out" when they were in their 20's. You end up with an average job and if you're lucky, it might relate to the career you originally desired. If not, it's just an average job that pays the bills. It might just about pay them, or it might mean you can afford a few holidays a year with the family. Hey, it might mean it's a great job where you get to buy your kids get brand new cars before they've even passed their driving test. But whatever.

How is that seemingly being the only option ok? It shouldn't be "a gap year" where you get to have fun. Life should be about perspective: getting it from everywhere. enjoying, or not enjoying and learning as you go.

Life is about living  and choices. Not the pressure and expectations that we put on ourselves, or feel due to society.  Like I said, certain things suit certain people. But I think a lot of people just go along with it. They get their jobs, meet their wives / husbands blah blah blah. And again, if it works for you sound. If that is the active decision you have made and you are happy with it. I'm not judging that. But if it doesn't suit you, why does chasing a life of fulfilment in all areas seem so unachievable? Why are you just going through the motions? 

I just find it annoying and ball bags. Because I I don't feel like I have much say in the complete fulfilment of my future.

I either: Leave uni, work for a while and get that 'treat' of a gap year and travel. Then I focus on my career. That's not too bad, but it's not what would really  make me mega happy.

Or I go for the gap year and then afterwards just think fuck it. If i want to live in a bin in France for a few years it's ok. Then maybe I'll crash on someone's couch in Switzerland. I've always wanted to spend more time there and do skiing and be a mega pro and stuff. lol. Then from there maybe I'll go home for a bit or something. Blah blah blah I don't care. Just want some new experiences. Then I get into my late 20's and realise I'm doomed.

Ball. Bags. Why can't everyone just get on with 'whatever in life. Without there being a "YESS GO YOU" or "AW WELL AT LEAST YOU TRIED" path. 

This could be a totally bias ball bags post. Because I'm ranting about it from my perspective and with the idea of the things I want. But hey hoe. I'm sure a lot of people would agree / disagree / not care.

It's totally bias. Especially since I've realised I'm having a mid life crisis at 22. (Does that mean I'm going to die at 44)?

It’s probably not an actual mid life crisis. I don’t feel the urge to buy a new sports car or find a young Thai wife who is too fit for me. 

[lucyconnorblog]

Feel like I’ve been run over by a truck after 5 days of sliding down mountains arse first in an attempt to ski. My shins have seen better days and I never did apologise to the angry ginger man that I went flying into… you’d think an experienced snow boarder might make an attempt to move when a screaming woman is hurtling towards you. I skidded over his board, which he’d left lying in the snow, and straight into him.

But it was fab and I didn’t want to leave and I want to be a ski instructor and just go to different resorts and teach kids to ski and then go out with my chalet mates and get pissed.

HOLY SWEET MOTHER OF GOD. I stopped writing this while we went to a service station for a wee and I’ve just spent the past 40 minutes feeling dead inside because I thought I’d left my phone in a toilet in the middle of France.

Phew. It was the worst feeling ever. It’s ridiculous how bad it felt. I want to kiss my phone. I want to hold it close to my bosom and never let it go.

Not got enough ‘offline’ tracks on spotify to keep me entertained. So my stepdad let me use his iPod.

The Beatles. Buddy Holly. Queen. The Beach Boys. Bring me the horizon? David Guetta? Wiz Khalifa? Sum 41? That ain’t the half of it. My stepdad is 70. I can only assume his grand kids have helped him collect this rather large compilation…

We’re in a hotel somewhere near Brugge tonight. It’s going to be boring waking up and not getting ready to chuck myself down a mountain and love the little ski bebbehs.

[lucyconnorblog]

Came to Switzerland with Moy and the stepdad yesterday and it’s stunning.

Me and Moy had our first ever go at skiing today. We were easily the most retarded skiers of the beginners group. I thought I’d be too scared to move and that I’d hate it, but I moved loads and didn’t fall over and I loved it! I just want to be good at it now…

Poor Moy fell over a fair few times. She was like a little beetle on her back.

There’s loads of little kids in ski gear everywhere and they’re SO cute. Some of them are really good skiers too! The shits. I want my kids to learn to ski so they can be dead cute.