My dad has always sung to my mom on their birthday*, their anniversay, and the winter solstice because thatās her least favorite day of the year. He did this well before they got married, and he kept doing it after they started working in the same office building, walking over to her cubicle a few times a year with a dozen roses and singing a love song from broadway or an operetta. More often, he came over with a hot takeout lunch, or fresh salad or a dessert and would double-check who was picking me up today and what Mom wanted him to make for dinner if he was getting home first.
Some men gave him shit about doing that, bitching and moaning about āMaaaaaan youāre raising the bar!ā or āIsnāt picking up the kids your wifeās job?ā and so on.
But more men- many more men- came to him for advice. āWhere did you learn to sing?ā āMy wifeās allergic to flowers and doesnāt like chocolate. What should I get her for her birthday?ā āHow did you get time off to pick up your kids early?ā āI wanna do something nice for our anniversary, but itās right before tax day and I never remember and I feel like an ass. How do you remember?ā Net, he thinks setting a good example like that ended two relationships and saved five.
Setting a good example is a good idea to inspire people to realize they deserve better, but even better is that there are lots of people out there who want to do better and will glady take notes from you.
*they have the same birthday 4 years apart.
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