indisputable

nothing like the life I've lived so far

[wooyos]

aaa & acon behind [from xikers]

[space-pics]

Mars Moon Phobos Seen At Martian Twilight

[stella-draws-things]

[juniepuppie]

aborted abortion doctor: yea thats what i woulda did

[neiljostenpussyindulgence]

I love gay people theres a guy in my neighborhood who named his one singular dog “simon and garfunkel”

[funstyle]

[recommending something i sincerely love] ok so the thing about it is it kinda sucks

[melbush]

i love finding out what degrees my mutuals have. like what the fuck do you mean you do law? you’re a doctor who blog

[notabled-noodle]

learning to stop hating yourself isn’t something that happens overnight.

it’s a series of negotiations you make with yourself over your whole life. it’s making one less self-deprecating joke. it’s looking at yourself in the mirror with a little more generosity. it’s forgiving yourself for that little mistake.

it’s not one thing and then you’re good. it’s many small choices you can make that slowly make your brain and body a little less uncomfortable to live with

[guzhufuren]

Happy Birthday To World's #1 Fujoshi!

[guzhufuren]

Topaz + text posts for @philologicalbat (pt. 12/50)

bonus:

[guzhufuren]

Matz + text posts for @philologicalbat (pt. 11/50)

bonus:

[guzhufuren]

Hongjoong + text posts (pt. 1/50)

bonus:

[chocolate-salt]

MATZ at Seoul Music Award

Cr.@Mopnopa

[kentakiki]

[sailorbrazil]

how i look like when he tells me to watch out for my teeth when im sucking on him but he forgot to buy me my pepsi while grocery shopping

[sailorbrazil]

the past grabs back

[thirstkanaphan]

[inkskinned]

you know what? fuck it, man. the world is held in the fists of people who like to break things. at this point i’m saying who gives a shit. wear that victorian dress you don’t have an excuse for. dress up like a witch, pointed hat and all. who cares anymore. why worry about it when there’s bigger stuff to worry on. i’m saying. yeah, this lipstick is too dark, wanna share? i’m saying go talk to her, tell her that you like her hair. i’m saying she’s out of my league but i’m still swinging, i’m saying yeah i’m in a ballgown and it’s a pta meeting. what about it. eat the extra brownie, tell her your feelings. i’m saying if nothing matters than we might as well give nothing meaning.

[inkskinned]

#i’m saying if existence is a void at least i’m going down screaming.

it’s been 9 years since i wrote this. i was experiencing 24/7 anxiety so badly that i needed serious medication. these days in the back of my car is an “emergency party box.” when people admit they no longer really celebrate their birthday; i tell them to put the sash on and queue up kesha, we’re going bowling or something. these days i can’t spin around without finding something i am enamored with. these days i list 3 things i’m grateful for before i fall asleep. you’re probably one of them, just by virtue of you existing.

at the time i wrote this, i was suffering through a severe panic attack literally every night. i tortured my brother with constant 2 AM calls just to hear someone else breathing, because i couldn’t be alone in the silence.

i rarely wish i was still 23 even though ironically i had more hope back then. what i can tell you is this: i love the same way, but bigger now. i’ve worn the velvet cape to several business meetings. i spent thursday in a crop top without caring what my stomach looked like.

i told her i like her; i often dress as a witch. i still got glass in my foot this morning. i’ve kissed maybe a thousand people since then and met a million more than that; passing like the shadow of a hammerhead in trains and planes and buses.

i saw you, beloved, there, maybe, on platform in south station. you didn’t speak, but you said: i struggle to give the nothing meaning. the nothing fills up everything. it is just loud and yellowed panicked silence. i can’t stop shaking.

on the roof, birds curl together against the chilled spring wind. the sky outside of the craft store was an iridescent pink. the nothing already had meaning; you are giving it meaning by witnessing.

the act of living, beloved: it’s just decoding how to translate it.