It's snowing, white puffs hit against the windscreen in a beautiful manner. And there's a certain tension in the car as it drives past the all too familiar sign. It's like a weight pressed down on his chest, and the thickness of the air makes it difficult to breathe. Eddie doesn't know for certain if Nancy can feel it too, but as the car rolls down the road, her demeanor changes; she straightens up her back and sighs heavily, like she's only just realised what a horrific idea this whole thing is. Whereas, Eddie realised that on the drive to the airport.
They didn't talk much on the plane. Or, well, they did but just not about anything they actually wanted to talk about. As Nancy went on about one of her stories and a lead she was chasing, Eddie could tell that she was just itching to know why he left, why he didn't tell anyone he was going; and Eddie couldn't really blame her, because the whole time she was talking his mind was just screaming for him to ask How's Wayne? Is he still living in Loch Nora? Is Steve? What does Steve look like now? Has his freckles faded from the lack of summer sun? Has his hair grown? Has he cut it? Does he miss Eddie? Does he hate him?
"Is it alright if we stop off at my house first?" Nancy interrupts the silence between them which had otherwise been filled with radio static. "Just so I can drop off my bags and say hello to my Mom. I'll take you to the trailer park after."
He must say that out loud, because Nance shoots him a side-glance of confusion. Then realisation dawns on her. "Oh yeah, right. You wouldn't know. Uh, Wayne got a new trailer after you left. It's right next to Max's."
She's purposely leaving out details, Eddie doesn't like feeling like he's on the outside of something. But again, he doesn't press. Because he's scared of the answer. Instead, he turns his gaze back out the window, watching as the tree line morphs into town. And Christ, it's like Eddie never left, or Hawkins has just been staggered in time, constantly unchanging. Frozen like the ice on the road. They drive downtown, all the stores swarmed with people fighting to get the last turkey, or the last toy for their kids; Eddie remembers Steve coming home with a blackeye and a turkey that looked like it had been exploded and put back together, dramatically recounting his experience with a feisty old woman like he was some kind of war hero. And a ghost of a smile finds its way to his lips at the thought of Steve Harrington. Stupid, sweet, thoughtful Steve Harrington, who only bought a turkey that year because Eddie told him he and Wayne never did the whole Christmas Dinner thing.
They drive past Family Video, and if that isn't a big kicker for nostalgia. The building is lit up with those awful flickering lights, and windows are decorated with the same Santa window stickers and tinsel Eddie was forced to put up when he drew the short straw. He swore he was going to get frostbite putting up those lights, all the while Robin and Steve laughed at him with their warm coffee cups heating up their hands. "Bastards," Eddie spat, but he was smiling, teeth chattering from the cold.
He wonders if those two still work there, wonders if the break room still smells of moldy cheese from Keith's lunch. He wonders if Robin was the first person Steve called when he came home from work to an empty house, only to find Eddie's room cleaned out. He slumps down in his chair as the video store fades out of view in the side mirror.
Sensing his change in attitude, Nancy nudges his arm. "You okay?"
Eddie chews on the inside of his cheek. No, he thinks, no he is definitely not okay. This whole thing was one huge fucking mistake!
Nancy thinks for a moment, probably deciding what or what not to disclose to Eddie. What is her place to tell and what isn't. "Mike is gonna lose his shit when he sees you," she tries to joke, shaking her head fondly. "God. You know he grew out his hair? It's like, like yours now."
Eddie peaks over at her. "Really?"
She nods. "And Mom keeps calling me to complain about him blasting his 'screaming music' at all hours of the day. Apparently Wayne gave him some of your old tapes you left behind." Her expression softens. "You really made an impact on him."
Something akin to pride swells in Eddie's chest, replacing the feeling of his insides doing backflips. "No, I didn't- I'm not-"
"Don't do that. Don't undermine yourself. Those kids really looked up to you. I remember Mike coming home from school after you offered him to join your stupid club, he was so excited. You like, made him feel less alone. Or something."
And Eddie well, he doesn't know what to say to that.
"So don't worry so much. They'll be thrilled to see you."
"Yeah," Eddie huffs, "at least someone will."
They drive the rest of the way to the Wheeler House in silence. And when the car pulls into the driveway, Nancy doesn't move. Eddie looks over to her, and she seems to be in deep thought, debating whether or not to go in.
That's the thing about Nancy Wheeler, Eddie thinks. Everyone thinks she's so difficult to read, but you just gotta know what to look for; Nance chews on her nails when she's unsure, she gets this glassy look in her eyes and this twitch in her lips. Eddie saw her many times after Vecna. He doesn't think anyone else did.
"I don't have to go in," he supplies, already expecting her to ask him to stay in the car.
She snaps out of whatever haze she trapped herself in. "What?"
"It's not a problem, I get that your folks may not be too happy having a former wanted murder back in the house."
"What?" She repeats. "Oh, Eddie, no. God no. It's not you, it's just." A deep sigh escapes her. "You're not the only one avoiding home."
"What's that supposed to mean?" he asks, only a little offended. Because he's not avoiding anything, thank you very much.
Nancy pops open the driver-side door, climbing out into the Hawkins Winter Weather. "It means," she says, "that things between me and my parents aren't great right now."
Vague. Leaving out details on purpose. Eddie doesn't know what to expect anymore, but he guesses she doesn't owe him any explanation. He certainly didn't give her one.
Eddie follows suit, pulling his old leather jacket close in a futile attempt to block out the nipping cold. He exhales deeply, breath turning to mist in front of his eyes in that way that makes him feel like a dragon, before going to help Nancy pull her various suitcases out of the trunk of her car. But he gets about halfway towards her when a small, porcelain figure on the snow covered grass catches his eye.
For a second he thinks it's new, because surely it has to be. But no, it's the exact same colour, there's still that chip on its large round nose, and there's obvious cracks in the structure.
Nancy catches him staring. "Oh yeah," she huffs a laugh, "Mom super glued it back together. You two never did tell me how you broke it."
Eddie looks at her with a smirk. "I have no idea what you mean."
It's the first time Eddie's ever been invited to the Wheeler's Christmas Party. And he thinks it might be the last if the look Karen Wheeler gave him when he walked in dressed, not in a Christmas jumper like the invite said, but rather his usual attire of a leather jacket. Not that he minds though, there is only so much cheery Christmas music and judgemental stares from Nancy's neighbours he can take before he needs a minute outside.
Eddie watches the smoke from his lips evaporate, mingling with the cool night air. Warm yellow light from the house bleeds out from the open door, and vanishes when it shuts again. It wasn't snowing yet, but he suspected that it would start soon.
"It's like, below freezing out here." Steve appears beside him, shivering despite his many, many layers of clothes he insisted on earing. The top layer is an awfully ugly Christmas sweater that Eddie bought him yesterday for this very occasion. It looks incredibly itchy, but Steve insisted on wearing it.
The other boy leans against the wall and holds his hand out to Eddie, to which Eddie passes him the cigarette with a smug look on his face.
"Thought you were quitting?" Eddie japs a finger at Steve's side. "Thought it was turning your hair grey?"
"Yeah well," Steve holds the cigarette up to his mouth, taking a long drag and Eddie pretend that he's not staring at the way his boyfriends cheeks hollow as he does so. "I'll quit tomorrow. You okay?"
And god Eddie loves that man.
"Honestly?" he sighs, "I kinda hate it here."
He doesn't expect Steve's shoulders to completely drop in relief. "Thank god. Listen, I love Mrs. Wheeler. I do. But this is the most boring party I've ever been to. And I was at Chuck Myers' Spring Brake party. That was boring."
Eddie laughs, shaking his head fondly. "Yeah, I could do without the middle aged women staring at me everytime I walk by them."
Steve frowns. He loops an arm around Eddie's waist and pulls him closer. "They're just old bitches. Don't pay them any mind."
They're so close Eddie can smell the spiked Eggnog on Steve's breath. And he panics when he hears laughter from inside, trys to pull away. "People might see us."
"And?" Steve smiles, the cigarette in his hand long discarded on the ground. He holds onto Eddie's hands, they're calloused yet soft in his. Again, he urges him closer and plants a chaste kiss on Eddie's cheek and that makes Eddie giggle like a school girl, so goes to give Steve a proper kiss but he doesn't get the chance when the song inside changes.
"Ah! I love this song," Steve slurs, and Eddie begins to suspect he's had a bit too much to drink. He can only imagine what Robin's like inside.
The song in question is another generic Christmas tune, one the radio can blast over and over and people keep listening to because it's catchy. Naturally, Eddie detests it, much like most holiday songs. He groans, "Of course you do."
Steve doesn't take the, frankly obvious, bait to rehash the same playful argument they have almost every time they turn on the radio. Instead, he starts to move in some sort of way that Eddie guesses could be considered dancing, and he manoeuvres Eddie's hands so that he's forced to join in.
It's an odd, arrhythmia rocking motion Eddie finds himself locked in. He thinks that Steve might have been going for a slow dance sorta thing, but Lord knows Harrington couldn't dance to save his life so he settles for whatever it is he's doing. And you can't really hear the music, since they're outside it's quiet through the walls, making it a bit awkward but Eddie doesn't care. The way Steve laughs, all carefree and thoughtless, the way he doesn't do very often, is music enough for him.
So Eddie let's himself dance, on the front doorstep of Karen Wheeler's house, and he lets himself forget that there was even a party at all; that he was here for an entirely different reason other than to dance the night away with his boyfriend - his boyfriend, Steve Harrington, that's still so surreal. He even forgets where he is.
Steve and Eddie pull apart at the sound of the noise. They look at the ground, horrified to find the shattered body of a lone garden gnome broken into a dozen pieces. They stand over it, staring. Then Steve looks up at Eddie with a pale face.
"You," he says quietly, "you murdered him."
"Me?! He's closer to your foot! You stepped on him during your awful attempt at dancing!"
Steve's cheeks turn red, Eddie doesn't know if it's from embarrassment or from the cold. "Yeah, well, standing here over a dead body isn't going to magically fix it."
"What do you want to do then?" Eddie huffs.
As if on cue, they hear Mrs. Wheeler's muffled voice through the door, proudly declaring something to her guests. They stare at the door until Steve rattles around in the pocket of his jeans and pulls out his car keys.
He stares at Eddie. "Last one to the car has to tell Nancy."
Eddie is bolting before he finishes the sentence. The quiet music from the party is replaced by Steve's laughter. Music to his ears.
There's the smell of cookies wafting through the air when Eddie trudges through the front door after Nancy. She calls out that she's home and instantly there's footsteps rushing towards the hall. Mrs. Wheeler appears in the living room doorway. She's wearing a stained apron and her hair, now back to its natural brown, is pulled back out of her face.
"Nancy," she smiles, and pulls her daughter into a tight embrace. "Welcome home! Though I wish you called ahead, I'm a bit of a mess." She laughs and then turns to the living room, where a young, blonde haired girl sits on the couch. "Holly, come say hi to your sister."
Holly, who has grown significantly since Eddie last saw her at that Christmas party, merely waves. She doesn't even pull her attention from the cartoons she's watching. Nancy gives a curt wave back.
Mrs. Wheeler's eyes land on Eddie, quietly lingering in the doorway, and her expression hardens for a split moment.
Nancy coughs. "Mom, you remember Eddie, right? Eddie Munson."
"Of course!" she exclaims, still smiling but it's tighter, forced. Her movements become wary and Eddie is very quickly reminded why he left in the first place. Eddie feels very pinned down under her state. "It's so good to see you again."
Out of the corner of his eye, he spots Nancy warily looking around. "Is, uhm, is dad here?" she asks, and that's enough to take Karen's mind of off Eddie and onto something more pressing it seems, by the way her happy expression crumbles into one of uncomfortable sorrow.
"He's working til seven." she tells her. Nancy breathes a sigh of relief. "But, maybe you could stay here this year," Mrs. Wheeler tries, "I'm sure if you brought Steve over then maybe-"
"Where's Mike?" Nancy interrupts, just when Eddie perked up at the mention of Steve's name.
She turns to Eddie, giving him a sort of urgent 'go" look. Though he's reluctant - and curious, knowing she's only telling him to go just so he doesn't hear the rest of the conversation - Eddie makes his way to the basement. He gives a jerky nod to Holly on his way. She doesn't even acknowledge him. With her large, square shaped glasses, she looks a bit like her dad.
The stairs to the basement creaks under his weight. As he descends down further, Eddie can hear quiet laughter underneath the sound of slow music turned down so low, he can't quite make it out. The basement has that same BO stench that Eddie became familiar with during the many, lengthy Hellfire sessions he held down here. In some strange way, its comforting.
When he gets to the bottom of the steps, he starts to think that maybe he should have called out his arrival before hand; surely that would have saved Mike - and himself - the embarrassment of Eddie walking in on Mike and Will - Will Byers, Eddie fucking knew it - making out on the sofa.
He clears his throat, and takes a sick sort of humor in watching the two boys literally jump away from each other in panic because yup, been there kid. "Y'know, if you're going to have a gay make out session, the best place to do it probably isn't your mom's basement."
Mike all but yells in shock and horror. And Will seems to freeze like a deer in headlights, sitting stiffly with a rapidly growing red face. A second passes like this before Mike blinks, once, twice, and shoots up from the couch with furrowed eyebrows.
Nancy wasn't lying. Standing in front of Mike now, all 5'11 of him, it was like looking in a fun house mirror. His face has thinned out, more sharp edges than last Eddie saw him; he's tall, incredibly so, and his hair, full of wild, unruly curls, has fallen down to his shoulders. He's dressed in a, clearly loved, Black Sabbath shirt that Eddie actually thinks is his, and he can't help the wide smile that splits his face in half.
But Mike is not smiling, well he was. His expression starts to cycle through a mix of happy, confused, angry. And then Eddie gets the air knocked out of his lungs when Mike barrels into him. Eddie thinks he's crying a bit.
"Where the hell have you been?"
Eddie tells them. About New York, about writing. He revels in that same old warmth that comes when the two boys laugh at his jokes, or when Will's eyes light up at the description of the New York skyline at night. Eddie and Will spent lots of time together before he left, both of them eager to have another DM to talk to, plan campaigns with. He looks at Will now, and he still sees the face of that kid that used to show up at his trailer with his tattered notebook and a head full of new ideas; it doesn't matter that his face has finally come into its own, or that he finally let his hair grow out past that ridiculous bowl cut, it's still Will Byers. They tell him about their own lives too, briefly, about school and life in general, and seem to have forgotten that Eddie caught them, what he walked in on. And that's fine with Eddie, they'll talk about it when they're ready, who is he to pry?
The three of them sat there for what realistically couldn't have been more than a few minutes, but felt like eons in the best way possible. Until raised voices upstairs cut through their conversation. Eddie recognises Nancy's voice and assumes the other is her mom.
Mike rolls his eyes and deadpans, "Oh great, we're back to this."
Curiosity gets the better of him, and despite knowing he shouldn't pry Eddie asks anyway. "They fight alot?"
"Just like, all the time," Mike groans and Will snickers at his antics. "God it's been like this for two years now, it's a miracle Nance even comes home at this point."
"Of course she'd come home," Will interjects, "Nancy's not like that."
There's something more to that sentence, something both Mike and Will understand. Yet another thing Eddie is being left out on.
"Two years?" he whistles, laughing sarcastically, "What could she have possibly done? Misspelt a word in her college application?"
Mike stares at him with wide eyes. "She hasn't told you yet? Her and Ste-"
Nancy's voice cuts through the conversation. Eddie looks to where she's standing at the top of the stairs, cheeks burning red with a fiery gaze in her eye. Beside him, Mike stands immediately, concern painting his face but Nancy just shrugs him off.
"C'mon," she says, "We're leaving."
Before Eddie can blink he's hauling Nance's suitcases back out to the car to the tune of Mrs. Wheeler begging, pleading, with Nancy to stay. Nancy doesn't listen to her, and she manages to keep her composure right until they pull out of the driveway, then tears start forming in the corners of her eyes.
"Nance?" Eddie puts a hand on her shoulder. "Nance, hey, what happened?"
She laughs, wetly. "Nothing. It's fine. My mom just- shit." Her grip on the steering wheel tightens. "I'll Uhm, I'll drop you off at your Uncle's place I just-"
"Hey, hey." Eddie rushes to comfort her. "It's alright, I'm honestly in no rush. Just, go wherever you need to go. Okay?"
Nancy takes a series of deep breaths, and her tight lock on the wheel loosens. "Okay."
The car turns right, and Eddie doesn't even need to ask where they're going; he remembers the road like the back of his hand. Loch Nora. Steve Harrington's house.
Not massively so. In fact, the only difference Eddie can see is the change in colour, from that ugly steel grey to a soft yellow. Had the snow been melted, he would have seen rows of flowerbeds but with the garden frozen over the only thing standing there are a couple of poorly made snowmen, one significantly smaller than the other but both finished off with hats and scarfs and, of course, carrot noses. Eddie spies the sight of that large, perfect Christmas tree he and Steve spent hours decorating so that everything was just right. The house stands out from the others, and whether that's because of the change in colour or the extravagant Christmas lights only it has, Eddie doesn't know.
And there's a moment where Eddie forgets where he is. A moment where he's not in the car with Nancy, but rather in his Van with bags upon bags of groceries beside him, and he's getting ready to navigate - completely destroy - Steve's kitchen in a futile attempt to cook dinner for the two of them. It feels like he's coming home, like he's never been away. Like it hasn't been four years, and things between him and Steve aren't completely ruined, shattered to bits by his own hand.
"I'll only be a minute." Nancy tells him, obviously picking up on something he isn't given the side eyed glare she shoots him. 'It's probably best if you stay here." But hell no, Eddie finally feels whole again and he's going to chase this feeling into tomorrow. He's out of the car before Nancy can even stop him.
Walking up to the door, Eddie's in a hazy trance. Memories upon memories flood the forefront of his mind; Him and Steve playing in the snow; Him and Steve watching horror movies; Him and Steve coming back from one of their summer drives, the sound of ABBA blasting much to Eddie's playful dismay. He gets to the door with Nancy yelling after him.
He lifts his fist to the door, but it swings open before he can knock. And that trance Eddie found himself in quickly fades as the smell of citrus and burning wood hits his face, and there's a child standing at the door.
A little girl, with curly brown hair tied back into pigtails, with a freckled tan face and wide hazel eyes that look into Eddie's soul. She's wearing a pink tutu and some kind of sports jersey, Eddie doesn't know what sport though. She blinks at him in a curious manner, tilting her head to the side, then her gaze stares past him and her face lights up in a face splitting smile.
"Nance! She screams excitedly, and sprints off in a waddle. Eddie watches as Nancy rushes up to meet her with the same smile on her face, and she picks her up in her arms and twirls her about. The little girl laughs ecstatically. Eddie's face pales at the similarities between the two girls.
"Wheeler, thank god you're home," A voice calls from the house. Eddie turns to the source and his heart swells at the sight.
Robin fucking Buckley. Standing in the doorway in all her chaotic glory. Her hair is slightly longer now and just as untamed as it used to be; she too is wearing a tutu and she looks like she's been running if her red cheeks and heavy breaths are anything to say about it.
She rubs her eyes, laughing in a pathetic huff of air. "I swear if I have to watch one more episode of Sesame Street I'm going to kill mys-"
For someone who always seemed so open, Eddie has a hard time figuring out what emotion lies in Robin's eyes when she finally looks at Eddie; is it happiness? Confusion? Sadness? He doesn't know. She stares at him, with wide unblinking eyes, and time seems to slow down for her as she takes the sight of him in. Eddie feels a little exposed watching her look him up and down, and he'd probably shift uncomfortably under her gaze, if he wasn't so fucking happy to see her.
"Hey Rob," he smirks, trying, and definitely failing, to sound sauve. "Miss me."
In response to his question, Robin gives him her fist colliding with his nose.
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