It was dark out by the time they finally made it to the chalet they would be staying in. Setting her suitcase down, Lily began wandering around, flicking on the lights while Tommy brought in the remainder of their bags and locked up.
It was a quaint little cabin, built to accommodate a single couple. Tucked deep enough in the woods to feel isolated and private, but still close enough to civilization that the nearby town was only a fifteen minute walk away.
Pulling back the curtains, she peeked out at the deck attached to the back of the chalet. A set of stairs led down from it to a small, private hot spring. She could see steam rising off of the shimmering blue water.
Tommy's arms wrapped around her from behind, his chin coming to rest on her shoulder. She hummed at the warmth of his chest pressing against her spine, leaning back into him.
"You like it?" he asked, nose brushing along the column of her throat.
She nodded. "It's so cozy."
Tommy hummed in agreement, starting to press kisses into her neck. Lily sighed, lashes fluttering, head angling to give him better access.
"Are you tired?" he nuzzled at the spot where her neck met shoulder.
She shook her head. "Are you?"
"No." He was kissing along the slope of her shoulder, nose nudging aside the material of her shirt to gain access to the freckled skin.
"Mm." Turning around to face him, she tangled her fingers in his hair, stretching up on her toes to kiss him. "Good."
Hands landing on her hips, he drew her in closer with a soft growl. Their mouths opened greedily against each other, and it was not long until her fingers were fumbling at his buttons.
"You sure you don't want to unpack first?" He pulled back, pupils blown wide, clearly still worried that she may be too worn out from the long journey. Lily shook her head again, shooting him a cheeky smirk.
"We have lots of new rooms to christen."
"Fuck, I love you." His mouth crashed back down onto hers, stifling the quiet giggle that escaped her. And when he picked her up with his strong hands on her ass, she wrapped her legs around him.
They fucked like animals. In every room, on every surface available. The couch in the living room. The counter in the kitchen. The table in the breakfast nook. The hallway wall. The shower in the washroom. By the time they finally made it to the bed, they were both breathing raggedly, exhaustion just barely beginning to creep in over the haze of lust they'd lost themselves in.
"Don't stop," Lily begged, as if she had not already cum multiple times that evening. She clung to her husband's shoulders, short nails digging little half-crescents into his skin. "Don't stop, don't stop, oh, fuckâ"
He was rocking right up against her g-spot with each stroke, grunting where his face was buried in her neck. Her back arched up off the bed, sobbing from the force of her orgasm as her walls clamped down tight around him.
With a deep groan, Tommy stilled inside of her, cock convulsing as he came right along with her. His body slumped heavily forward, collapsing on top of her with a satisfied sigh.
"You're squishing me," she complained with a breathless laugh, wriggling under his stocky body. Tommy quickly pushed himself back up onto his hands, a bashful chuckle huffing from his lips before he kissed her.
"Sorry."
She just purred in response, fingers caressing the back of his head. When he drew away from her, it was to roll so that he was sprawled out onto the mattress next to her, a hand coming up to thumb at his brow.
"Fucking hell."
Lily beamed, biting her lip and turning over onto her side to look at him, head propped up on one hand. A thrum of pride pulsed through her at the sight of him so fucked out, his hair sticking up every which way and skin flushed from exertion. Reaching out, she trailed her fingers through his smattering of chest hair, briefly tracing the shape of the sun-rays tattooed on his left pec. He dropped his hand from his brow to cover hers, thumb stroking over her knuckles while he gazed at her so softly it almost made her want to cry.
"Come here," he looped his arm around her shoulders, drawing her in closer until she was snuggled up against his chest. "So," his lips moved where they were resting at her forehead, "how are you liking Switzerland so far?"
She let out another quiet laugh, head angling up to find him already peering down at her. She stretched up to kiss him.
"I'd say that it's made more than a good first impression so far."
thank you so much laur, shiny rocks and pebbles are always a fav of mine <3
@cillmequick @peakyswritings @xsweetcatastrophe @zablife @justrainandcoffee
Itâs been a funny year for the shop, with a lot of orders for singular stickers and bookmarks as well as quite a few bigger jobs (work for Illumicrate, bookshops, something else under wraps!) but much less in the middle. Now I have a solution in place to get around the pain in the arse tariffs in America I hope print and custom orders pick up for Christmas, as thatâs been a bit of a life saver the last few years.
I have a couple more slots available for commissions if you want one in time for Xmas delivery, so go to ShelfWornDrawn.com without delay!
this is my list of all the things i watched, read, listened to, and experienced in late september and october. it was a nice month for artâi'm still not sure how i found the time for so many films, but it helps that i literally live in front of a cinema.
films
(ok watched too many films, i have a coupon and for the next 6 months i have free access to the cinemas in my city. note to myself this could become addictive, be careful)
kelly reichardt - the mastermind
let's start by saying that i don't think this was my cup of tea. when i was at the cinema, i was the only one who wasn't a cinephile or a film student, so i couldn't really grasp all of the crazy filming techniques or the craft she put into it. mmh, a bit bland? it didn't really say anything to me, but that could also be because i watched it after 36 hours without sleep and was trying my best not to fall asleep in the cinema.
Ăłliver laxe - sirat
fucking amazing. if you like hardcore music, rave and adrenaline rushes go check it out. you will exit from the cinema wanting to dance for hours without any drugs or clean your entire apartment listening rave music. approved!
ethan coen - honey, don't!
one of the few movies i ever watch with good lesbian sex. funny, intriguing and a good time in general. nice for a first date if you really want to break the ice with a punch.
jay roach - the roses
okay comedies are not my genre, but this is a good movie. went for something entertaining, i was entertained. dialogues were crazy. felt a bit it was more about the skill of the actors to deliver those over complicated dialogues than the actual plot in some places. if you like nice comedies you will enjoy it.
o Ășltimo azul - gabriel mascaro
very deep analysis about aging and how as a society how we take responsability or ignore the problem. beautiful photography and filming. very cool writing.
paul thomas anderson - one battle after another
ok apart my disliding of hollywood talking about collectives and social movements because they make it seems like a group or crazy people who just want to destroy stuff (quite unreal how they describe a social movement based on free fighting which pissed me off a bit), nice themas were confronted, about family dynamics and father standards. a bit too hollywood still but that's my issue
mathieu kassovitz - la haine
because of the 30th year celebration i finally could see this movie at the cinema. fucking finally! you all go watch this movie. one of the best movie ever. it has everything a perfect movie has to have, and it's french.
guillermo del toro - frankenstein
ok first, no one could ever match my favourite and best frankenstein from all the time: young frankenstein
but, nice jobs enjoyed the acting and the writing. it a was bit cringy for me the sexy frankenstein, too many 13 yo at the cinema. but it was nice. the only thing i could not stand is what they have done with the wolves.
luca guadagnino - after the hunt
wow. wooooooow. good fucking film, last film i watched from him was queer and didn't understand it. this one is good. the writing was done by nora garrett and she did one amazing jobs. it was never expected or predictable. the actors were amazing. i didn't know what the topic was and it was a real punch in the guts.
agnieszka holland - franz
nice movie. was quie ignorant about kafka and it was entertaining. i will still question his writing but now everything makes more sense.
darren aronofsky - caught stealing
mmmh. the writing was a bit lazy. sometimes funny but not sure. plot was nothing special
tv series
mmh. nope for this month, i have watched partially slow horses which i loved but will write about it when the i finished the last season.
books
satoshi yagisawa - days at the morisaki bookshop
so full of warm and fuzziness after finishing this book. loved it. it's very simple, in the way japanese books can be profound and simple at the same time. like they're explaining the deepest sense of life with only ten words, making it all make sense. would recommend it for a cozy autumn or winterâa very quick read, like a cup of cocoa on a sunday afternoon in front of the fireplace.
douglas adams - the ultimate hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy
read again. still a masterpiece for me. if you want an easy reading and lots of laughs, this is the book. he is still one of the best writer, everything so simple and still every sentence is a punchline.
ross haenfler - straight edge: clean-living youth, hardcore punk, and social change
nice book. really good describing of the movement inside of punk. i think a bit borign for anyone who doesn't go to gigs regularly or grew up punk.
ian mcewan - the daydreamer
a nice, cute, and super sweet book. i love going to sleep reading this one; every chapter is an amazing goodnight story. it's also perfect to read all at once with a nice cup of chai almond latte.
music
mammal hands - gift from the trees
this was a complete surprise. i still listen to music on an ipod (because i'm your secret granny and i try to stay away from algorithms as much as possible) and found this album on it. i don't know how it got there, but it was an amazing discovery. best stroll around the neighborhood for calm morning, enjoying the lazy sutumn sun and smiling to strangers. i love modern jazz and i would be obsessed with this record for some time
keny arkana - tout tourne autour du soleil
why i did discover this album just now? wow, i love her so much. masterpiece of writing and rapping. 'la rage' new favourite song of all time. very good if you are riding your bike around the city because you cannot afford the tube.
then i listened to lots of new punk records but that's the only thing i am not gonna share bc feels too personal. also was lucky to go to some nice gigs.
and that's it... really want to see for next months if i can read more books. if you know good japanese literature please send it to me <3
sorry for disappearing again but real life was very very busy.
just after moving back to germany, things in italy started to get serious about protesting and striking for palestine (fucking finally, i would say, but really universe? really??? just 2 weeks after i moved back to another country?).
i had some friends who were on the flotilla, and i was part of the logistic team organizing the strikes and protests (yeah, i know we all seem like a bunch of people running like a flock of disorganised chickens in the streets, but even if it doesnât look like it, there is an organisation behind that. i swear).
it also gave me time to think about what iâd like to do with this blog for now. iâm not going back to posting my writing, mostly because iâd want to rewrite half of it, but also because my life is changing a lot lately and itâs just going to get busier. writing something that feels acceptable takes a lot of time, and i want to enjoy itânot post something just because..
iâm still in awe of what all my moots are doing and creating. iâll try to engage as much as i can. i really miss your writings and creations, but i also know how life isâsorry if iâm not able to support you all as much as iâd like. you all are truly incredible <3
but yeah, all this rambling is to say that what i really want to start doing is keep a diary of all the movies, art, books, music, concerts, etc. that i consume now that i live back in a civilised city and not in the middle of the woods.
mostly itâs for me, to keep track of things, because my memory is equal to that of a red fish. after two years iâm always like, âohh, my beautiful brain, whatâs the name of that amazing writer i once read a book by?â and my brain just says, âgo back to sleep, we donât have the slightest idea what youâre talking about.â
but i also understand that this can be extremely boring and uninteresting for anyone who follows me, so please feel free to unfollow or ignore it altogether. itâs really just something that makes me happy, not something anyone else has to be interested in. still, if you have nice books, movies, or tv shows to share (even though be aware that iâm a bitch about that and super picky), my postcards box is yours, my friend :)
okay, iâm stopping nowâi really need to learn how to shut up xD
As an American, when they said truck load I was imagining an 18-wheeler style truck so Iâm not too surprised by the final picture. There has to be like 200 - 300 bags of rice on that truck at LEAST. OPs BIL was incredibly lucky he only had to take 23 bags of rice from that thing.
Summary: Tommyâs secretive behaviour puts Nina on edge.
Warnings: arranged marriage, age-gap (Tommyâs in his early 30s, Nina is in her early 20s), talks of past sexual harassment, English is not my first language.
A/N: The second act takes place during season 2*. You can read it even if you havenât read the previous one, although you might miss some information here and there. What you need to know for context, is that Nina Ferrante is Tommyâs Sicilian wife, and their marriage put an end to the war between the two families. They join forces against Sabini. *This specific chapter takes place a few months before season 2.
ACT ONE MASTERLIST || ACT TWO MASTERLIST
SERIES MASTERLIST
Nina watched Tommy sleeping next to her, his lips slightly parted, eyebrows lowered in a subtle frown.
She didnât have the heart to wake him.
The previous night had been horrible for him. He had woken up again and again, covered in sweat, shaking, slurring incoherent words she could not understand. Then he held on to her, arms wrapped tightly around her waist as she tried her best to ground him, only for it to start all over again. It took him hours to finally fall into a somewhat peaceful sleep.
It wasnât the first time it happened. She had learned about his nightmares a few days after moving into their new house, on Watery Lane. Although Tommy had warned her about them, sheâd be lying if she said it hadnât unsettled her to see him so scared. To get a glimpse of the monsters that lived inside his head. Monsters she couldnât protect him from.
The awareness she couldnât take his pain away was crushing. Even when he seemed happy, even on the rare times a laugh escaped his lips, the heavy veil of sadness was always there, draped over his shoulders like a coat, weighing him down. She wished there was a way to take a bit of that burden upon herself and carry it with him, if only to bring him some semblance of relief.
âYouâre staring.â
Tommyâs raspy voice broke the silence, pulling her from her thoughts. Warmth flushed to her face, and she was thankful he still had his eyes closed. Two months into their marriage, and she still blushed like a schoolgirl when he caught her looking at him. Pushing back the embarrassment, she took on a playful tone. âDoes it bother you?â she taunted, quirking an eyebrow.
Tommyâs lips curved upwards. âNo.â
His eyelids fluttered opened, sleepy blue eyes looking back at her. âGood morning, love.â
âMorning.â She reached out her hand to smooth a stray lock of hair off his forehead. Her fingers travelled down to his cheek, knuckles tenderly brushing against his freckled skin.
Taking ahold of her hand, Tommy brought it to his lips, placing a sweet kiss on it. âIâm sorry for last night,â he murmured, his gaze filling with regret.
âYou have nothing to be sorry about.â
âI told you already, I can sleep on the sofa-â
âNo,â she interrupted him, unwilling to listen to the umpteenth attempt on his part to convince her that it would be better for her if they slept separately.
âNina-â
âNot a chance,â she said firmly. âYou will not keep me away.â
Tommy pursed his lips, and for a moment he seemed about to say something. Then resignation flashed across his eyes, and no word left his mouth. He knew better than her he had already lost that battle.
With a soft grunt, he wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close to him, nuzzling his face into her neck. âI wanna stay in bed with you.â
âThen do it.â
âI canât,â he mumbled, a hint of frustration in his voice. âThereâs things I need to get done.â
âThey can wait.â
âDonât tempt me.â
Oh, tempting you is my precise intention.
It had been so long since they had spent a day together, just the two of them. She knew he had business to attend to, but she missed him. And she could tell his habit of overworking himself was taking a toll on him.
She inhaled deeply, pondering her words. âYou can take a day off. Itâs not like you have to answer to anyone.â
âThis time I do,â he shook his head. âIâm going to London to meet your uncle.â
Oh.
Uncle Antonio would not be pleased if Tommy didnât show up to the meeting. And with the circumstances of their marriage still being a sore spot for everyone, it was better to be careful. Although Antonio and his sons were not involved with what had happened back in Italy, word had traveled, and he had found himself in the painful position to take a side in the quarrel between his two brothers. Vincenzoâs side, to be exact. For the sake of peace. It wouldnât be wise to inconvenience him further.
âDo you want me to come with you?â
âNo,â he said, a bit too quickly for her taste. Then, as if reading the suspicion on her face, he added, âItâs business as usual, nothing to worry about.â
Nina furrowed her brows, studying his face. There was something in his expression that told her he wasnât being completely truthful. That there was something he wasnât telling her.
She decided to leave it, at least for the moment. The truth would come out anyway.
âIf you say so.â
As she washed the breakfast dishes, Nina looked onto the grey streets, muddy from the rain. Autumn had arisen in all its might, bringing storm and a pungent cold she wasnât sure she had ever known. It was probably still sunny, back home. In Sicily summer was always reluctant to leave.
Home. She wondered what her family was doing, if they missed her, or if some part of them was secretly relieved she wasnât a nuisance anymore. What she had done to all of them was not something that could be easily forgotten, or forgiven. The shame she had brought upon them was a stain that could never be washed away. She wouldnât blame them if they still harboured resentment towards her.
As for Agnese, Nina wasnât so foolish to think she could ever have her forgiveness, nor her uncle and auntâs. In their eyes, she had viciously stabbed her cousin in the back, and robbed her of a suitable marriage out of sheer selfishness. She just hoped uncle Mario would forgive her father for acting behind his back. It was for the best, anyway. Had it been up to her uncle, their peace with the Shelbys wouldâve gone up in smoke, and they wouldâve been alone in the war against Sabini. Instead, since the two families had joined their forces, Sabiniâs attacks at the Ferranteâs restaurants had ceased.
However, it wasnât her parentsâ resentment she shouldâve been scared of, nor her brothersâ anger, and not even her uncleâs fury. They were no actual danger to her. What she should fear was the wrath of someone far more vengeful. Someone she had scorned. Because there was nothing more dangerous than a humiliated man.
A chill ran down her spine. She thought leaving Sicily would mean leaving Stefano behind. That what he had done to her would pass, that the mark he had left on her would fade, that his nasty gaze wouldnât burn her anymore. She couldnât have been more wrong. He was always lurking in the shadows, watching her every step. He was everywhere, because she was carrying him inside herself. Sheâd have to learn how to carve him out.
A loud meow put an end to her musings. Curled up on a chair, Winston was staring at her with his yellow eyes, impatiently waiting for her to acknowledge him. He had been seeking her attention more, since they had left. The big change had bewildered him, too. There were no gardens in Small Heath, no tree branches upon which he could climb, no sunny spots to sleep in. She felt guilty, for taking him away from that. But no one in her family would take care of him, not like she did.
Heâd get used to it in time. Hopefully, she would too.
She never thought she would miss home. It was rather funny. She had spent her whole life wishing she could escape from that place, and now that she had, she was searching for it in every corner.
A sense of uneasiness began to grow in her chest. A feeling she was all too familiar with, one she thought sheâd left behind once she had stepped on the boat for England.
NoâŠ
No. She shook her head, snapping herself out of the spiral she was on the verge of falling in. She couldnât let it happen. She wouldnât let it happen. She wouldnât let her restless mind ruin what she was trying to build.
But as she scrubbed the plate with more energy, she could have sworn she saw her motherâs face in the reflection in the window.
The betting shop was still deserted when Nina walked in. It looked so different in the early morning, without the hustle and bustle of the men at work, and the rowdy gamblers cramming in to place their bets. That was why she preferred to arrive early, and plan the day before the shouting and the smoke made it too difficult for her to fully concentrate.
Sheâd be lying if she said she didnât quite like the betting shop, though. It was different from anything she had ever known. A small world of its own, made of bets, numbers, and strategies. It was stimulating, to say the least. In that chaotic place, she could escape the stillness she had despised all her life.
She sat at one of the desks, then proceeded to set out the things sheâd need. The betting book, the agenda Tommy had left her, her notebook, and a small calendar. Tommy would be away for a week, at least, and if she had to cover his work as well, sheâd have to make a schedule. She took in a deep breath, staring to parcel out the tasks to be done in the next few days.
Ten minutes or so into her work, she was distracted by the sound of heels clicking across the wooden floor. The figure of a woman walked in front of her with quick steps, leaving a trail of cigarette smoke as she passed.
There she was. Polly Gray.
Nina knew immediately she was in for a long, long day.
Ever since the matriarch had laid her watchful gaze on Nina for the first time, she had been nothing but stern to her. She observed her, studied her. She cut her into tiny pieces to figure out what she was made of. It was unnerving, sometimes.
Polly dropped her bag on one of the desks on the opposite side of the room. âTommy went to London,â she said, finally turning to acknowledge Ninaâs presence.
Good morning to you, too.
âYes. He said something about a meeting with my uncle.â
âDid he say anything else?â
âIs there anything else to know?â
Polly sighed, stomping her cigarette before taking a seat. âI was hoping you could tell me.â
God, it was serious, if even his aunt knew nothing about it.
Nina shook her head. âHeâs been acting strange, lately.â
âSounds like Tommy.â
âMore than usual,â she clarified. âHe says heâs just worried about business, but I can tell thereâs more to it.â
Pollyâs head shot up to look at her. She visibly pondered her words, until something clicked behind her dark eyes. A look of realisation flashed across her expression. âYou have no idea, do you?â
Her statement left Nina confused. âOf what?â
The shadow of a smirk grew on Pollyâs face. She pursed her lips in an attempt to hide it, but Nina didnât miss the mixture of smugness and amusement filtering through her features. âItâs not my place to tell you, love. Tommy entrusted me with this information long ago.â
What information?
Nina clenched her jaw, careful not to show how much Pollyâs demeanour was actually getting to her. The condescending note in her voice was what made her blood boil the most.
It wasnât the first time she needled her with the implication that her husband kept secrets from her, and it surely wouldnât be the last. Polly made no secret of her determination to maintain her primacy as Tommyâs most loyal confidant. But Nina knew it was also her way of assessing her, of knowing just how much she could pull before the string snapped.
Sheâd have to pull, and pull. And even then, sheâd end up disappointed. Nina was way too good at letting certain things roll off her back.
Polly Grayâs little jabs were nothing compared to her auntsâ and cousinsâ nasty jokes and judgmental glances. If she thought a few subtle taunts would be enough to make her step back, she couldnât be more wrong. And truth be told, Nina drew a bit of satisfaction from the knowledge her presence made the older woman feel threatened.
Before either of them could say anything else, the double doors that separated the kitchen from the shop swung open, and Arthurâs boisterous voice resounded in the room. Nina didnât understand a single word that left his mouth, but from the look on Pollyâs face, it was safe to say it was for the best. His accent was so thick it often took her a while to pick up on what he said. Sometimes she got the impression he accentuated it on purpose, when he spoke to her.
Another way of Tommyâs family of reminding her she was a stranger. The daughter of a foreign enemy.
âNina, do me a favour and check me addinâ up, eh.â Arthur dropped a heavy book on her desk.
âThis is the Garrisonâs book,â she frowned.
âYeah, I brought it âere so ye could take a look at it.â
âI already checked it two days ago.â
His heavy hand came to pat her on the shoulder, nearly knocking her over. âMoneyâs flowing in, sister.â
âAnd flowing out, I see,â she noted, scanning through one of the most recent pages. She squinted her eyes, pursing her lips as her a specific figure caught her attention. âThereâs something wrong here.â
âThatâs why I came to yaâ, luv,â he brushed her off.
Of course.
She couldnât understand why the Shelbys kept on relying on Arthur for keeping the pubâs book. It wasnât like they couldnât afford to pay someone to do that for him. He didnât even try. And she was the one who ended up fixing his mess.
Arthurâs steps echoed in the almost empty shop as he started to walk towards the door, making her snap her head in his direction. She leaned back in her chair, calling after him. âWhatâs the magic word, Arthur?â
He stopped in his tracks, keeping his back turned. âI ainât got no time for this,â he said gruffly.
She raised her eyebrows, crossing her arms over her chest. âYou can check your numbers on your own, then.â
Arthurâs fists clenched by his side. His shoulders raised as he inhaled deeply, visibly pondering his next move. When he turned to her, his lips were pressed together in a fake smile. âPlease,â he stressed, exaggerating a deferential gesture with his hand.
Nina tilted her head, unable to hold back a satisfied grin. âSee? It wasnât that hard.â
A snarling sound was the only answer her provocation received before Arthur left, slamming the door behind him. It seemed like his mood had been ruined by their little altercation.
Serves him right, she thought. She wasnât going to tolerate disrespect.
Out of the corner of her eye, Nina saw Pollyâs piercing gaze looking up and down at her, and she could swear she was trying to hide the hint of a grin.
Shaking off that impression, she began to examine the book in front of her. If she wanted to get it done by the end of the morning, sheâd have to start right away.
âMore like âdo the adding up all over againâ,â she murmured to herself, flipping through the pages.
That was going to be a long day, indeed.
Sitting on the sofa, Nina tried to concentrate on the novel in front of her, but her brain apparently had no intention of cooperating. Pollyâs words were still haunting her.
You have no idea, do you?
She was right, at last. Tommy kept secrets from her. Two days had passed since he had come back from London, and still no word had left his mouth about what business he was taking care of, exactly. All she could get out of him were half-truths and non-answers.
The whole situation was beginning to get on her nerves. She had been patient, she had waited for him to be ready to open up to her, but nothing had come out of it. Absolutely nothing. And as if being kept in the dark wasnât enough, she had to deal with Pollyâs habit of adding insult to injury.
She was living in a country she didnât know, speaking a language that wasnât hers, surrounded by people who never missed the chance to remind her she didnât belong there, and she didnât even have her husband on her side. She couldnât trust him to tell her the truth. She felt completely, utterly alone.
She was so deep in thought she almost jumped when the front door opened and shut. âLove?â Tommy called from the entrance.
A wave of irritation surged through her. The unspoken words that had been plaguing her mind had made her anger bigger, heavier, and she wasnât sure she could pretend everything was fine for another night. When he walked into the living room, she didnât even raise her head from the page in front of her.
âHi, love,â he greeted her, leaning in to kiss her, only to be left hanging when she turned her head the other way.
âDinnerâs in the oven,â she said coldly.
Tommy froze in his place, his mind working behind his orbs as he processed her reaction. âWhatâs wrong?â he asked, jerking his chin. When she refused to even look at him, he rested his hand on the back of the sofa, caging her with his body. âEh?â He raised his eyebrows.
Nina gritted her teeth. âWhy donât you tell me?â
A flare of awareness cracked through Tommyâs imperturbable façade, but went away as quickly as it came. He stood straight, taking a step back. âI donât know what youâre talking about.â
Hell no.
Nina slammed the book shut, finally raising her gaze on him. âDonât give me that shit,â she snapped, getting up from the sofa. âDonât fucking give me that shit,â she approached him with a long stride, pointing her finger at him. âIâve given you time, and space, and plenty of chances to tell me what youâve been up to. And now Iâm tired.â Her voice trembled, but she didnât waver, pinning him with her fierce stare. âSo what is it?â
Tommyâs eyes traveled over her face, his mask cracking once again. His throat bobbed as he swallowed harshly, searching for his next words. âIâm planning an expansion,â he said carefully, testing the waters.
âWhere?â
âLondon.â
It didnât take long for Nina to understand what he was implying. But if her immediate instinct was to shake him and ask him if he had gone mad, the last shreds of patience she had left prevented her from possibly making him close up again. âGo on.â
âIt was one of the reasons why I came to Sicily,â he admitted, his shoulders slumping slightly. âThe deal was, I helped your family against Sabini, and in turn your family would help me take him over.â
She stayed silent, digesting the information. She wasnât stupid, she knew Tommy had his own interests besides simple survival when he proposed to join the families. But he had kept it from her for months. It had been his plan all along, and he never told her. âAnd the thought of telling me never crossed your mind?â
He rubbed the bridge of his nose. âItâs⊠itâs complicated, Nina.â
âIt always is,â she scoffed, shaking her head.
Tommy tentatively placed his hands on her shoulders. âListen, I knew you wouldnât like it-â
âOf course I donât like it!â She furiously shrugged his hands off, her voice raising again.
Tommy raised his hands in surrender, backing away as his own frustration became evident.
âThereâs no need to start another war, Tommy!â
He cursed under his breath, pacing a few steps. âFor fuckâs sake,â his voice rose. âYour familyâs already at war with Sabini.â
âHe has stopped his attacks.â
âFor now. But what happens next, eh?â
Nina had no reply to that question. As much as she hated to admit it, Tommy right. There was no way of telling whether Sabini had surrendered or simply taken a step back before striking again. It was a standoff situation which had everyone holding their breath.
A heavy sigh left Tommyâs lips. âItâs decided, love,â he said lowly, regaining his composure. âItâs just a matter of time.â
âWhen?â
âIn February.â
February.
So everything was ready. Mapped out. And she was finding out about it just now.
She felt so stupid.
She nodded, feeling all energy drain out of her. âAlright,â she murmured.
Her sudden lack of resistance caught Tommy off guard. He blinked in confusion. âAlright?â
âYeah. Alright.â
She didnât want to fight anymore; there was no point in it. And she was tired. Turning her back on him, she headed toward the hallway. âIâm going to bed.â
âNina, waitâŠâ
Tommyâs words fell on deaf ears. Without sparing him another glance, Nina left the room.
The mattress sank under Tommyâs weight as he slid into bed. Nina stared at the wall in front of her, a faint sense of relief filling her at the realisation heâd be home, that night. When his strong arm wrapped around her from behind, she was tempted to move away, to remind him once again of how much he had messed up. But even the most stubborn part of her couldnât help but surrender to him.
Tommyâs chest vibrated against her back when he spoke. âStill angry?â
âNo,â she shook her head.
It was true. She was upset, and disappointed. But she wasnât angry anymore. As good as she was at holding a grudge, she could never stay angry at him for too long. And she needed him more than she needed her anger, in that moment. Her hand found Tommyâs, and she intertwined their fingers together. She felt him relax behind her at her gesture. His arm flexed as he held her tighter, pressing his lips on the top of her head.
âTommy?â she called him after a while.
âWhat?â
âNo more secrets.â
âYeah.â
She spun around to face him, the warm light of the bedside lamp allowing her to look him in the eyes. âIâm serious, Tommy.â
âI know-â
âI donât need you to know, I need you to understand.â She took his face in her hands, thumbs rubbing up and down his skin. âI have no one but you here. If you canât be honest with me, then I have nothing.â
Tommyâs ice-cold features softened, and something quite similar to guilt made its way on his face. His knuckles reached to delicately stroke her cheek. âIâm sorry, love,â he whispered, a deep sincerity seeping out of his words.
Nina closed her eyes, fighting against the tears threatening to spill out. âDonât keep me away.â She couldnât help the pleading note in her shaking voice. She hated to feel so vulnerable, so weak. And she hated to make him see her like that. But she couldnât hold it in anymore.
âHey, câmere,â Tommy pulled her closer, cradling the back of her head with his hand. âCâmere.â
Nina buried her face in his chest, the last one of her defences crumbling at his show of affection.
âIâm sorry,â he repeated, gently threading his fingers through her hair.
She snuggled closer to him, letting his reassuring smell comfort her, and the regular beating of his heart lull her.
It was going to be alright. They were going to be alright.
âNo more secrets. I promise.â
Please consider leaving a comment and/or reblog if you enjoyed this chapterâïž
gosh reb, i am so happy nina is back! and they are finally married and in birminghaim.
i missed nina so much and i am so happy to read about her again, i apologise for the very long ramble...
âIâm sorry for last night,â he murmured, his gaze filling with regret.
âYou have nothing to be sorry about.â
âI told you already, I can sleep on the sofa-â
âNo,â she interrupted him, unwilling to listen to the umpteenth attempt on his part to convince her that it would be better for her if they slept separately.
âNina-â
âNot a chance,â she said firmly. âYou will not keep me away.â
this first scene was the sweetest. in the show we see tommy being vulnerable and open only a few times, i love when in ffs this aspect is expored and still doesn't feel as an OOC. sometimes i feel that some of the fanfiction i read, yours is one of them, make more justice about tommy character than SK's writing did.
i am really feeling for nina:
Home. She wondered what her family was doing, if they missed her, or if some part of them was secretly relieved she wasnât a nuisance anymore. What she had done to all of them was not something that could be easily forgotten, or forgiven. The shame she had brought upon them was a stain that could never be washed away.
i think this is so understandable for someone that grew up in italy and so relatable. all of us know that one story that for the 'decoro' something traumatic happen of someone ruined their life to appear to the social standard or what the family preferred of them.
nina is one of the exception and took one of the bravest choice if someone know the social context of italy at the time. she choose herself and even if it's a choice that should affect only her, it's not like the whole family now has to live in birminghaim and marry tommy, she still has to deal with the consequences of loosing part of her family.
you are so good in interwining nina character with how the society at the time would react. because after the marriage this should be an happy time, she married tommy and she is happy about that but still the consequences are that she is estranged from part of her family, living in a grey cloudy city alone.
and i am also so curious about what will happen with stefano character.
"Because there was nothing more dangerous than a humiliated man."
this gave me chills bc it's so true. still now it's so true.
he is not going to disappear and i really hope nina has the chance to destroy him once for all.
thank god there is Winston. still can't wait to see the relationship he has with tommy xD
She never thought she would miss home. It was rather funny. She had spent her whole life wishing she could escape from that place, and now that she had, she was searching for it in every corner.
you really are killing me know. this is so relatable that i don't even have the words. i will just say that you are a murdere with words bc if not i will start another long useless and boring rant .
damn i like polly, a lot of bullshit was done to her character but in general i like polly and here she is really being a bitch with nina. i understand the whole feeling theatened and also a bit unsure that just after grace, tommy bring home another woman who he loves but come on... i am sure you are building something on this but it still makes me a bit sad.
love how the chapter ended and how you are developping their relationship. yup you fell in love, yup you love each other, but here comes the difficult part: are you both able to build on that? to trust each other? with someone like tommy that everytime he trusted someone and was vulnerable he got hurt?
i can't wait to read the next one and see how you are developing their realtionship.
thank you so much for sharing this! i truly love them!
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