[lupercaliast]

sideblog that I keep on a separate account. often nsfw. expect discussion of BDSM and fetishes, sexuality, trauma, etc. as well as occasional thoughts on Roman lit that are adjacent to the above topics. bisexual (soft-)dom with a masochist streak. in a monogamous relationship with my spouse/sub @afools-errand. sometimes also a blog for goth and industrial stuff. please do not follow/interact if you're a minor.

[consulships]

i miss ovid he was like tbe original patron saint of the knowing and understanding perverts and sickos

[midnightssea]

I think a lot of people would benefit from unlearning the idea that casual sex is inherently disgusting, harmful, or immoral just because they personally don’t want to partake in it. You can stand up for sexual safety and consent without acting like people who enjoy fucking strangers are degenerates. I take no issue with anyone asserting boundaries or stating that they’re not interested in certain kinds of sex or even sex as a whole. But when you condemn or express disgust at others for engaging in consensual sex, that’s when you start to sound like a puritan.

[midnightssea]

Btw, this includes self-proclaimed “feminists” who shame and lecture women for giving men “access” to their bodies. Bodies are not commodities and sex is not inherently transactional. You don’t lose anything by having sex on purpose with a person you find attractive. Sex is not some metaphysically transformative thing that bonds you to the other person forever. It is literally not that deep.

[fae-they]

so are we keeping our glasses on or off during sex

glasses on or off during sex

on

off

i do not wear glasses (u better rb this)

Remaining time: 2 days 7 hours

[knightofleo]

the hauntings of Andrew Wyeth

[beatsforbrothels]

Visit Original Link

Chat Pile - Shame

[gh0stforest]

the way this is actually that good

[lostlostinthemusic]

Visit Original Link

[feignedremote]

I was listening to Fiona Apple's debut album Tidal, an album I find myself appreciating more and more in the decade or so that I've listened to it, and I thought to myself wow, if 2010s Lana Del Rey or 2020s Ethel Cain wrote some of these lyrics, many people would be posting about feminism being OVER. Perhaps with the Fiona Apple "there is no hope for women" quote! And then I remembered that people did that with Fiona Apple at the time! Pitchfork's contemporaneous review of When the Pawn is misogynistic to the point of absurdity, despite (or because of?) being accompanied by an 8.0 rating, and describes the "Criminal" music video as "pedophilic" (with no further examination of why the writer gets that impression from it and what the artistic intent might have been.) And then in 2012 the same publication gave The Idler Wheel a 9.0, and in 2020 Fetch the Bolt Cutters their first 10 in a decade.

Similar trajectory with Lana Del Rey—Pitchfork was instrumental to her initial rise and the subsequent backlash in the early 2010s (I was there! I remember!), then gave 2019's Norman Fucking Rockwell! a 9.4 and the same year, ranked "Video Games" #9 on its list of the best songs of the decade, completing its transformation from loved to hated to loved again. (I think it's particularly interesting that they chose "Video Games" for the top ten rather than a NFR track, although "The greatest" is also in the top 100.)

Anyway, I am aware that the reviews I'm mentioning have different writers and the staff has changed over time and certainly an individual is allowed (even encouraged!) to revise their opinion on art, but the larger trend of dismissing a woman's art as shallow or distasteful and then realizing a decade or two later that perhaps that was unfair, yet continuing to take the same approach towards a different artist is very apparent imo. And it's certainly not an issue confined to insirutional music criticism; stan twitter talks like this too (which is more forgivable since they aren't professionals and many are young people—but still indicative of broader cultural attitudes about how one should tackle sexual violence and trauma in their art.)

[feignedremote]

Wrote this post this morning, went onto Twitter and promptly saw a guy call fiona apple a "professional victim" this evening (because people are discussing Paul Thomas Anderson abusing her.) Just goes to show that if you are a woman making art about rape or abuse, you are a fake victim no matter what. It never happened, but if it did, you liked it 🙃 (edit: this also ties into the whole trauma plot discourse, which would like us to think that it is somehow improbable to the point of being unbelievable for Fiona Apple to have been raped as a child and abused by a different man as an adult.)

[feignedremote]

hi caden @transmutationisms I am promoting you from replybox bc my reply to ur comment got really long and unwieldy for the comment box lmao.

But YESSS absolutely and that is part of what I am trying to get but perhaps did not really make explicit. I think Fiona Apple is *sometimes* in *some contexts* (ex among young women who are self-described feminists talking about music online) afforded grace that she otherwise might not be because she has publically disclosed her Real Experiences, in contrast to someone like Lana Del Rey, who did not, at least early in her career, which perhaps made it easier for people to dismiss her work as fetishistic and exploitative. Which is infuriating in its own right because people shouldn't have to publicize that if they don't want to, and it's deeply strange to take the lack of explicit disclosure of Real Experiences as a sign that these Real (Traumatic) Experiences did not exist. I also think it perpetuates a very rigid dichotomy between Trauma Victim or Not Trauma Victim while in reality we live in a society (lol) where abuse and sexual violence are rampant and there's no way to not be affected by those things—which isn't to say that everyone is equally affected, but that I don't think people, especially young women, can really be sorted into neat categories of abused or not, traumatized or not.

And then in the end, even if you disclose these Real Experiences, they're never Real enough for some people (as seen in Fiona Apple example). The utility of disclosure is always so limited. Of course people choose to speak openly about these things for many reasons, I am not saying they should or shouldn't, but it's an absurd bind because many audiences encourage these disclosures to affirm one's right to talk about "sensitive" subjects in their work and then continue to criticize them (we saw this w Ethel Cain—she was raped but it wasn't incestuous, so it's "weird" for her to make art involving incest.) Only winning move is not to play!

[alittleminxy]

Windup key collar x

[hard--byte]

stinging nettle is such a good tool and no one's on my level. get on it. wonderful whip for a masochist with lasting consequence reminder. easy to grow, makes a great tea, keeps the bad spirits out, nice for the joints, great for the bees. just grow the damn nettle. it's not so bad. i'm planting extra, here take some. wait please come back. i promise you'll get used to it.

[7pleiades7]

La Meditazione (also known as Meditation and Meditation on the History of Italy), (Detail), (1851) by Francesco Hayez (Italian, 1791 – 1882), oil on canvas, 90 cm (35.4 in) x 70 cm (27.5 in), Galleria d’arte moderna Achille Forti, Verona

[heavenlyyshecomes]

there is a level of seduction that exists beyond the body. something less tangible, and perhaps more potent. anais nin understood this idea about how desire does not begin with touch but with language, perception, and the sharp electric pull of a mind that challenges and excites you. in her journals, desire is not just a physical hunger but a hunger of the intellect, an unraveling of thought before an unraveling of the body. to be drawn into someone’s mind, to feel their thoughts press against your own, can be more intoxicating than any physical closeness.

—Caitlyn Richardson, 'can intellectual intimacy replace physical desire?', in milk fed

[celestedarlings]

I <3 lifestyle kink

I <3 kink that doesn’t end after a scene is over

I <3 kink that helps structure a relationship and how I show love for my partner all the time, not just in the bedroom or during sex

I <3 kink that can’t fit into the BDSM 101 classes because all of its edges resist being blunted for beginners

I <3 kink that isn’t all playing pretend, kink that’s playing with the true and messy parts of ourselves, where the power dynamic is deeper than the roleplay and rooted in something very very real

I <3 lifestyle kink and the way that deviants fall in love

[theegrandhorizontal]

[justaguyposting]

Dave McKean - Cages

[trentch]

Man Ray, Gloved Figure, 1930, gelatin silver print // Nine Inch Nails, “Closer” music video, 1994, dir. Mark Romanek