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noise dept.
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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RMH
seen from Malaysia
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@lvxnvx
the days I don't want to kill myself are extraordinary
hammond b3 organ cistern - gabrielle calvocoressi/heavy - hieu minh nguyen/ @alecstasy (x)/to begin with, the sweet grass - mary oliver/don't hesitate - mary oliver/ @sunrisethoughts02/a good day, kait rokowski/hammond b2 organ cistern - gabrielle calvocoressi
literally incapable of not mentioning her :)
apparently it's 14 years since this happened
What my best friend sees when I’m on call with her
it would suck being a new immortal. like it’d be 2109 and people would go, “what was it like seeing ancient civilizations rise and fall like that? seeing the pyramids being built? watching the expansion and growth of the new world?” and i’d just be like, “no…no i was born in 1991. so like, wow i’m gonna see some cool stuff, but, i mean i’m not that much older than just a really, really old person, you know? phones were big back then. so big. but only for like ten years, then they got like, as good as they are now. uh. rhinos existed. don’t think i ever saw one in person. cool, good talk.”
even worse, imagine being an immortal who keeps missing stuff. “What was it like seeing the pyramids being built?” “Fuck if I know, I was in Madagascar.” “Oh, okay. Well, how was the Renaissance?” “I fell down a hole in Scotland and people thought I was an enchanted well for four hundred years, it was over by the time I convinced someone to get me out.”
And now, a lesson in biases:
We barely know anything about Madagascar pre-500CE. We don’t even know whether the island had a permanent population before then, despite finding a bunch of much older signs of temporary human presence.
Malagasy mythology makes mention of the vazimba, a “precursor” ethnic group that might or might not be distinct from Madagascar’s current population.
The point is, we do not know.
So you were in Madagascar when the pyramids were being built in Egypt, i.e. during one of the most obscure, most undocumented parts of Madagascar’s human history?
Oh, buddy, you better go and make a bunch of anthropologists and archeologists really happy RIGHT NOW instead of feeling bad about missing everyone else’s pet Major Event.
It’s been a decade since we left that comment and you have the best reply anyone’s left to it.
@ayellowbirds I hope I can provide another quality one:
This post inspired me to start working on a story with an immortal who also always keeps managing to miss shit (someone finds out how old he is, says “Jesus Christ,” and gets a distracted “hm? No, I was still in Wales”), but he knows what the Roman dodecahedrons were for and he’s refusing to tell anyone because back in the 1820s someone was extremely rude to him at the British Museum and he doesn’t feel he’s been sufficiently apologized to. His house is full of shit that’s of absolutely no interest to anyone except academics and history nerds, who’d consider it a treasure trove to rival the library at Alexandria. (Come to that, he may own some texts from said library. Homeslice got around.)
But he is extremely petty. So no, you may not see his certificate declaring him a member of the Tailors’ Guild, and yes he does know how to build a wooden automaton from the time he spent working as a clockmaker and he will not be showing you.
The best addition you named above is new to me, however. And now I want to see if I can’t finagle something with him having been in Middle of Nowhere, Continent of Africa*, having gone there to get away from the Islamic Conquest while muttering stuff like “go to Egypt, they said, it’s warmer, they said…they’ve still got maintained roads…what bloody good do the maintained roads do me when people want my head on a pike…”
*the bits not carved up by the Greeks, Romans, or Arabs, so basically turn the continent on its side so it looks like a kidney bean, draw a horizontal line across its middle, and everything below the line is fair game. Yeah, there was cool stuff there, but it wasn’t all super connected the way the Roman/Ottoman empires had done.
You wouldn’t think that flamingoes are extremophiles just from looking at them. It’s like somebody tried to build the vertebrate equivalent of that fungus that lives inside nuclear reactors, and ended up with a gangly pink dinosaur with a spoon for a face.
For everyone in the comments asking how flamingos are extremophiles:
Flamingos can survive in low oxygen, high altitude, high temperatures, low temperatures, high alkaline, they can and will drink boiling water and they can be completely frozen at night and still get up the next morning
Don’t fuck with flamingos
….. Didn’t know most of that
Huh… so that’s why zoos don’t put them somewhere warm during winter.
Oh yeah, this leaves out what I *did* know about them–they can also survive hypersalinity. That is, water so salty it kills practically everything else–water so salty it burns your skin.
American flamingos just drink that shit
(animal death) this is a real undoctored photograph (*though the body was stood up for the shot) of a dead flamingo on the surface of lake natron, a lake so salty and so alkaline that it’s naturally carbonated like soda and would eat through your stomach lining if you drank from it.
When this photo went viral years ago, most people assumed this poor flamingo must have been killed by the lake.
It is actually the lake where 75% of its global population are hatched. This is a photo from the same lake:
YAYYYY MY FAVSSSSS
a while ago I read this sci-fi short story from the 50s where a guy is kidnapped and interrogated by aliens using a very sophisticated lie detector, but he realizes that the lie detector works off technical truth, and with some careful phrasing and misdirection, he manages to make them believe that humans are a race of immortal, overpowered, omniscient telepathic beings. and it works.
my favorite part is when he tells them that humans are "capable of transportation without the aid of spaceships or any vehicles, just by using mental power to control physical matter". it's true, we can. it's called walking.
okay I found it, it's The Best Policy by Randall Garrett
and it has other gems such as "I know beyond a shadow of a doubt what every member of my race thinks of you" (they don't know you exist) and "every human knows exactly as much about the location of your home planet as I do" (nothing)
art for a specific group of little gay weirdos
So, my iPod does this fucking genius factory thing where it forgets which artwork goes with which album and it makes guesses. Because it’s pretty sure I won’t notice.
Needless to say, I noticed.
the most 2014 post possible
I was imagining "reverse creep radiohead" as a bit and now I can't stop thinking of "I wish you were special, I'm so fucking special" and laughing
#but you're a creep! you're a weirdo! what the hell are you doing here! you don't belong here!#sheeeeee's running in the waaaaaaalllll
I have just learned that Mountain Goats are NOT, in fact, actual Goats.
I have never heard of this band. I AM in fact referring to the animal.
But wait, there’s more!
RAW, APRIL 2026 → SMACKDOWN, JULY 2026 aka punk tenderly grabbing cody's chin to get a better look at his black eye and then cody returning the favor by doing the same to punk months later
today i learned that the finnish word for ‘hazardous waste’ is ongelmajäte, which can also translate as ‘problematic garbage’ and my roommate and i immediately agreed this is a word that belongs on tumblr.
Your fave is ongelmajäte
in german it’s Sondermüll which means special trash and that too belongs on tumblr
One man’s ongelmajäte is another man’s sondermüll.
