The queer community (especially the liomogai branch) has an exorsexism problem.
There are so many examples of this we could give, but the biggest ones we want to address are these following points:
First issue: The fact that nearly every term coined is split into three categories - boy, girl, and enby.
This is an issue, because it treats "enby" as a singular category, rather than a mixture of categories. Often it will treat it as an androgynous or neutral counterpart, "boy" as the masc counterpart, and "girl" as the fem counterpart (when non-binary boys and nonbinary girls exist, and also not all masculine genders or feminine genders are male-aligned/female-aligned.)
This is exorsexist because:
1. It usually treats "boy" and "girl" as the masc/fem counterparts (when non-binary boys and nonbinary girls exist, and also not all masculine genders or feminine genders are male-aligned/female-aligned.)
2. It often treats "enby" as a neutral, null, or androgynous counterpart, when not all non-binary identities align those ways.
3. It lacks inclusion for people who aren't explicitly feminine, masculine, androgynous, or neutral/null.
The solution to this? If you're going to coin a term, make a boy, masc, girl, fem, androgynous, neutral, null, genderless, xenine, outherine, aporine, multigender, and fluid/flux version. Don't just default to making three versions.
Second issue: Even within the community, xenogenders and pocket genders are treated as aesthetics rather than true genders.
A lot of the time, we see the community "defending" xenogenders and microlabels by saying "it's just people having fun!" or "it's just using metaphors, its not literal!"
The problem with this is that, yes, xenogenders often use metaphors to describe their genders, but the way people "defend" them makes it sound like the gender itself is just a metaphor, and that it's just a "game" or "make belief." Just because xenogenders use metaphorical language doesn't mean they don't cause real, genuine, gendered feelings for the individual. The gender isn't a metaphor, the description of it is, just like how all other genders use metaphorical language (what is femininity? Explain it without using metaphors or aesthetics. You can't. Xenogenders are no less valid than femininity, they just use non-traditional descriptors.)
Furthermore, calling them "fun" takes away from the seriousness of the identity. Yes, any gender can be fun, but that shouldn't be the reason behind why it's "okay." That shouldn't be a defense because it doesn't always hold up. Not all xenine people have fun with their genders. A lot of them are miserable because they feel like they don't get taken seriously for being xenine, or have a harder time reaching their transition goals because society at large doesn't view their genders as anything more than a silly little game.
Trying to fight exorsexism by making xenogenders sound like an online game isn't helping, it's just further influencing transphobes to view xenine individuals as make-believers who will "eventually find their real gender" because their "current gender is fake."
The solution? Say "xenogenders are genders that are described through non-traditional means, because the traditional descriptors don't fully encompass them." Don't try to defend xenogenders by calling them "fun" or "metaphorical."
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