GOD. still the funniest transition in the show bar none

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GOD. still the funniest transition in the show bar none
The Uprising Trailer
Led by a farmer, an army of peasants revolt against King Richard II's tyranny. The film is inspired by the Peasants' Revolt, aka Wat Tyler's Rebellion or The Great Uprising, of1381.
The Uprising stars Andrew Garfield, Jamie Bell, Stephen Dillane, Tom Hollander, Cosmo Jarvis, Thomasin McKenzie, Jonny Lee Miller, Woody Norman, and Katherine Waterson. The films is written and directed by Paul Greengrass.
The Uprising releases to theaters on September 11, 2026.
GUPPY>DARCY
To be honest, Guppy is such a shallow boy. He has this ideation of Esther, completely unreal and once confronted with a harsh reality he steps back.
Darcy is kind of a socially awkward, snob looking guy, quick to judge but can be kind and considerate, based on his personality not when it suits him.
BUT Guppy is pretty cute. I guess with a bit of effort one could fix him 🥲
I could fix him
lemon is so so so fucking good in sweet food and savory food and spicy food and salty food and drinks. she has it all
You wouldn’t think that flamingoes are extremophiles just from looking at them. It’s like somebody tried to build the vertebrate equivalent of that fungus that lives inside nuclear reactors, and ended up with a gangly pink dinosaur with a spoon for a face.
For everyone in the comments asking how flamingos are extremophiles:
Flamingos can survive in low oxygen, high altitude, high temperatures, low temperatures, high alkaline, they can and will drink boiling water and they can be completely frozen at night and still get up the next morning
Don’t fuck with flamingos
….. Didn’t know most of that
Huh… so that’s why zoos don’t put them somewhere warm during winter.
Oh yeah, this leaves out what I *did* know about them–they can also survive hypersalinity. That is, water so salty it kills practically everything else–water so salty it burns your skin.
American flamingos just drink that shit
(animal death) this is a real undoctored photograph (*though the body was stood up for the shot) of a dead flamingo on the surface of lake natron, a lake so salty and so alkaline that it’s naturally carbonated like soda and would eat through your stomach lining if you drank from it.
When this photo went viral years ago, most people assumed this poor flamingo must have been killed by the lake.
It is actually the lake where 75% of its global population are hatched. This is a photo from the same lake:
Some species of flamingo actually subsist almost entirely on a diet of bacteria! In other words, there is a species of dinosaur that eats only bacteria and lives in lakes so toxic they would kill almost anything else—and it is best known to the average person as a kitschy lawn decoration.
"𝐈'𝐦 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐜𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞'𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈'𝐥𝐥 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐈 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐮𝐟𝐟𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐈 𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐧𝐨 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐫𝐞. 𝐈'𝐦 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐜𝐞𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞. 𝐈'𝐦 𝐝𝐮𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞. 𝐈 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐣𝐨𝐛 𝐝𝐨𝐧𝐞." In memory of New Zealand screen star Sam Neill who passed away on July 13th, 2026 surrounded by family at St Vincent’s Private Hospital in Sydney, Australia at the age of 78. Born Nigel John Dermot Neill on a kitchen table in Omagh, Northern Ireland on September 14th, 1947, moving to Christchurch, New Zealand with his family in 1954 where he changed his name to "Sam" due to his love of western movies, later saying "there were also already too many Nigels on the playground". An acclaimed and respected actor, Sam starred in almost one hundred films including My Brilliant Career (1979), Dead Calm (1989), Jurassic Park (1993), The Piano (1993), The Horse Whisperer (1998), Bicentennial Man (1999), Jurassic World III (2001), Thor Ragnarok (2017), Jurassic World Dominion (2022), and Thor: Love and Thunder (2022). His television credits were also extensive and included The Tudors (2007), Peaky Binders (2013-2014), and voice acting roles in The Simpsons (1994) and Rick and Morty (2019). "I'm not in any way frightened of dying," he stated during an interview with the TV news show Australian Story in October 2023. "That doesn't worry me. It’s never worried me from the beginning. But I would be annoyed, because there are things I still want to do." May he rest in peace.🕊️
Sam Neill, the versatile actor whose was highlighted by appearances in the blockbuster 'Jurassic Park' franchises, has died. He was 78.
Dammit.
Michael Wincott as Comte de Rochefort in The Three Musketeers (1993)
Thought this might help others who struggle when writing. I know I get in my head too much.
There was a time in my life, not very long ago apparently, when I just did not give a fuck about who directed the movies I watched. Somehow, I've spent 35 years not knowing Ridley Scott directed immortal classic road trip thriller Thelma and Louise (1991).
What has happened to that man? Who ever would have thought the man who directed . . . no, inflicted Gladiator II (2024) and Napoleon (2023) on the world directed a movie about a woman shooting her friend's rapist and the two of them running from the law together?
Temperament, Violence, and Masculinity
Many years ago I wrote this post, which I've apparently sought and struggled to find multiple times because it didn't have a title! I wanted to amend that, but also to add some additional thoughts I've been wanting to shape into a meta for a while.
One thing that has always perplexed me about The Patriot is that Benjamin Martin's violent temper is framed as relatable and even endearing while William Tavington's comparative coolness is framed as aberrant and monstrous. I think there's more at play here than just a simple hero: good/villain: bad binary.
When we are introduced to Martin, he's in a barn working on a rocking chair as his children watch from their hiding places. When satisfied the work is complete, Martin sits down . . . and falls on his ass when the chair collapses. The children giggle as he gets up and throws the chair against the wall, where there are several others in similar condition, with a roar of frustration. Some time later, Martin is in a position of disempowerment that hurts far more than his pride. When Tavington commits all manner of violence against his family and home, Martin responds by arming two of his children and taking off to rescue his captured son from the detail of men Tavington ordered to hang him. Assuming all that and killing every soldier in the detail are necessary--which we'll get into later--what is definitely not is Martin hacking into the back of the last soldier repeatedly, again while screaming. Again, his children are watching, but this time in wide-eyed shock.
These are extremely different scenes that display the same character trait. Martin's response to feeling emasculated is violence, not against who or whatever is responsible but who or whatever is on hand. Even Martin's children know that this enlisted man is no more responsible for Tavington's orders than the broken chair is for Martin being a shit chairmaker. If someone's response to things not going their way is to lash out at whatever is within reach, and you live with them, that is cause for concern! And indeed both Samuel, one of the boys present, and Martin's mute daughter Susan are clearly (if temporarily) afraid of him.
Meanwhile, the list of emasculating things that happen to Tavington is very long indeed. At his first meeting with Cornwallis in the extended cut (also included in DVD bonus features), the general belittles him in front of his other officers by feeding his dogs from the same tray Tavington is attempting to eat from while making a premature ejaculation joke about Tavington to his face. In another meeting, their first in the theatrical release, he scolds Tavington for his treatment of Continental troops and makes him promise to give quarter in the future. In yet another meeting, Cornwallis accuses him of being "bested by a bedtime story." Indeed, if the historical Cornwallis has put as much effort into defeating the Continental Army as his fictional counterpart does into humiliating his colonel, we Americans might all be spelling "favorite" and "color" with a "u" today!
He doesn't fair much better with his Colonial enemies. Martin is able to walk/ride away from the two confrontations they have between the one at Martin's farm and the one on the battlefield. One of Martin's men spits in his face when he tries to bribe him. He is only able to survive a confrontation with Martin's oldest son by playing dead. Lastly and most dramatically, he is projectile launched into one of his allies, killing the man with his saber after Martin stabs his horse in the chest.
In spite of all this emasculation and adversity, Tavington never loses his temper, and because he keeps a cool head, his rate of success in getting at least some of the things he wants out of these encounters remains high. By biting his tongue in the Cornwallis scenes, he stays in a position to benefit from Cornwallis's own temper tantrum after Martin emasculates him! He not only grants permission for Tavington to commit atrocities but promises him a reward of land if they are successful. While Tavington does not learn Martin's whereabouts from Rollins, he does get a list of his men's families' addresses, which he uses to effectively stop the militia from blocking supplies leading up to the final battle. His possum tactic allows him not only to survive but to kill Gabriel. After Martin kills his horse, he gets up and kicks his ass. As someone who struggles with anger management issues, I find Tavington's focus on goals over of the moment emotions aspirational!
Obviously, Tavington is also a violent and terrifying figure. The rebels and those who aid them have good reason to be scared of him. His own men are not. He may put them in some irresponsible situations, particularly at the end, but he is not taking out his frustration with Cornwallis and Martin on them as many violent men would. His violence is always intentional and explicitly aligned with his long-term goals. Martin's is often excessive and driven by his emotions. Imagine if he had been as cool-headed and goal focused as Tavington is. Given that his stated goal at the South Carolina assembly in 1776 was to protect his children, would it not have made sense to send all of them to Aunt Charlotte while he went to reason with the officer in charge of the detail taking Gabriel to Camden, the same one who has already thanked him for his treatment of British soldiers, and build a case against Tavington? (Brandon Fisichella explains how this might have worked extensively in this video starting at 30:16.) He might not have gotten to be a war hero again, but he could have saved the lives of all the civilians Tavington kills in response to the militia's actions and the son he actually saves through violent means to boot.
Martin's masculinity is subject to far less stress testing than Tavington's. He is listened to and respected by his superiors as well as the men under his command and his family. When he makes errors in judgement, and there are some big ones, no one ever lays the blame at his door. Moreover, the consequences of his bad temper are ignored or minimized, as we see when Samuel and Susan. In two separate scenes, they conveniently forget their fear of the father at the moment of his departure. Martin's reckless attempt to rescue Gabriel could have resulted in additional headstones in the family plot, but conveniently all the soldiers guarding him are incompetent. Even going back to Fort Wilderness, Martin is extraordinarily fortunate that the Cherokees declared him and his men winners of the Atrocity Games and broke treaty with the French instead of doubling down on attacks against British civilians with them.
Anyone who struggles with anger management, or lives with someone who does, can tell you losing tempers does not solve problems; it creates more and worse ones. In this story, though, an even temper proves to be no match for plot armor. Martin is obviously a very appealing figure for many men even today, and it's not just because he's a father protecting his family or fighting for his country. There were other ways to accomplish both of those things. What Martin represents in the fantasy of consequence-free violent rampages.
The always amazing @lyledebeast is keeping the strong meta energy of the Fourth of July weekend going with another spectacular seminar for Evil Redcoat University! I'm absolutely nodding vigorously at the specific contrasts drawn here between The Patriot's disparate treatment of violent acts committed by Tavington Martin and the similarity in the actions themselves. As ever, the hypocrisy (and the American exceptionalism) are strong!
I find these contrasts especially compelling in light of the amplified double standards for masculine and feminine violence in the present-day United States, in which male folks can abuse their partners with near impunity but female folks face severe legal consequences for even firing a warning shot after years of domestic violence. Likewise, the open queer-coding of Tavington's character introduces chilling implications about the acceptability of killing a gay man. Given Martin hews to mainstream social expectations about whom he should be intimate with regardless of his actual sexuality, that paints a pretty nasty picture of compensatory manhood acts as normative praxis of American patriotism. Apple pie, anyone?
The contrasts OP draws here between the film's glorification of Martin's masculinity and its lampooning of Tavington's also make me think about how the bombast and flair of the latter's violence evokes tropes from "righteous female anger" narratives in other media. The Patriot goes out of its way to present the heavily personalized violence between Tavington and Martin as satisfying for the former in a way that military violence isn't, making me think of Waiting to Exhale's Bernadine serving exquisite looks while ransacking husband John's closet and setting fire to his care before walking away in a runway-worthy spectacle.
Some different narrative themes there obviously—Bernadine is getting back at her husband John for cheating on her with his bookkeeper and walking out on their marriage, a betrayal made worse by the racial dynamics of that infidelity. Meanwhile, Tavington and Martin are two white dudes separated by a common language, as OP delightfully illustrates with that note about British English spellings. But the energy Tavington brings to scenes involving Martin has always felt similar to me. Not only because he lights Martin and Martin-adjacent properties on fire while looking impossibly dapper, but also because he radiates a similar sense of wounded pride rising like a phoenix in a blaze of feathered glory.
It would make sense on a superficial level for Tavington to feel a strong drive to do The Most in besting Martin; he has already told us how much his ability to provide for his family and protect their legacy hinges on success in his military campaigns. Reading this analysis though, I find myself wondering if that drive also stems partly from the added frustration of constantly having straight norms of manhood and family upheld as the ideal while getting gruffly rejected by someone who still gets respect as a family man while clearly doing a shit job of looking out for his kids. Perhaps Tavington does feel some underlying anger at how Martin—as someone who's willing to play the game of straight life despite his sexuality likely being more expansive—gets more respect in society than a man like himself ever would, no matter how many Ohios he winds up getting in reward for his military successes.
Of course, any anger Tavington does feel over these dynamics gets no socially acceptable outlet. As OP has pointed out, The Patriot upholds "the fantasy of consequence-free violent rampages" for men like Martin who adhere to expected norms of masculinity while vilifying even more focused acts of aggression by men like Tavington who challenge those expectations. Whether during the American Revolution or its 250th anniversary, art imitates life.
Boy, has it been a lot time since I've seen 90's classic Waiting to Exhale! I'll have to see if I can track it down on streaming.
Reading through those paragraphs in this reply made me think about how superficially similar Tavington's acts of violence are and yet how much their meaning changes. Every time Tavington burns a building, it's to send a message. Fire has the effect of not only destroying everything it touches but also making itself known to others far beyond its reach. Violence is always a strategic spectacle for Tavington; that's why he orders Gabriel taken to Camden to be hanged and, more importantly, put on display. If he were motivated by sadism, it would make more sense to hang Gabriel there in front of his family, but Tavington safely assumes they've already gotten the point by then. The Martins aren't special yet, as we seen when Gabriel comes across the bodies hanging outside Pembroke church.
But then the next house he burns is the one to which Martin's surviving family fled, the next ones belong to his friends. The last one he burns belongs to we don't know who, but it is after the Pembroke congregation member tells him the militia is hiding in Black Swamp at the old Spanish Mission. So . . . why don't the dragoons make for Black Swamp and the Old Spanish Mission? When I've asked that before I've come to the conclusion that it's bad writing. Tavington has to make bad choices so Martin can win. But what if the effect of burning the last house is what Tavington intended for it to be? It lets Gabriel's vengeance brigade know where the Green Dragoons are. Perhaps the only hitch in Tavington's plan is that he draws the wrong Martin.
While Tavington is hard at work being the most literally flaming gay man in cinematic history, Martin's violence is more personal and intimate. Not only does he "take [his] time, but he's afforded a huge amount of respect for the privacy of his violence. This is unsurprising coming from the Americans, whose position is, "Yeah, we know what Captain Martin did at Fort Wilderness. He WON!" It is a little surprising to see all the British officers in speaking roles focus exclusively on how many men he killed and not, um, how he killed them. Martin is also capable of some pretty spectacular violence, but not only does the audience not see it directly, apparently no one does. I would have thought finding one man stabbed enough times to kill twenty at least as memorable as finding twenty bodies. Martin's privacy is certainly respected by the narrative with respect to his interactions with Tavington. All of their conversations are fully in public in broad daylight, but that is not the kind of energy the second two are serving. While Tavington has to shout about Martin's stupid, dead son to get the man to so much as look at him, Martin is able to say "Before this war is over I'm going to kill you" so softly only Tavington can hear him. Even in their fight at the end you'd think they were the only two people left in the war. Where are Martin's friends? On the couch watching him fight for his life like he's on HBO?
In all seriousness, it feels like one of Martin's "triumphs" at the end is that he gets to stay in the closet about his violence and other parts of his identity he's not willing to own.
Excellent Patriot meta on my dash – in year of our lord 2026??
What fascinates me from a historical perspective is how differently these characters would be read by an 18th century audience to how they're coded for modern viewers.
To them, Martin's outbursts of anger and destruction would have been the absolute height of unmanliness. Such violent passions would mark him out as a weak man and a dishonourable citizen. At a time when external expressions of feeling were considered direct reflections of internal moral character, his outbursts would code him as an unmasculine, unreasonable and unvirtuous threat to the social order. Martin is no gentleman; he's more like the racist stereotype of the borderland "savage", unpredictable and destructive.
Tavington, in contrast, is a consummate gentleman. He restrains his passions, follows orders, uses violence rather than letting violence and emotion use him. He takes care of his appearance, manages his facial expressions, and processes his anger internally. He's queer-coded for our modern consumption, but I think he would have been seen as a good model of heteronormative masculine conduct to the historical viewer. If anyone is queer to them, it's Martin, who can't control his anger or, by association, his lust.
Great addition @my-deer-friend!
Martin's masculinity is clearly a modern one meant for a modern audience, but it is really interesting to see how characters whose masculinities are more period-appropriate are treated. Tavington can certainly look and act the part of a gentleman when it suits him--as can Martin, as we see in the prisoner exchange negotiations--but he is still killing civilians, including women and children. General O'Hara and Cornwallis too, in most instances, have the demeanor of gentlemen and actually are endeavoring to fight with honor. And the film skewers them relentlessly. The entire humiliation ritual Martin drags Cornwallis through happens after Cornwallis lays down the law to Tavington about his atrocities. O'Hara literally saves Martin's life when he stops Tavington from drawing his sword on him, but months later at the Yorktown surrender Martin describes him only as Cornwallis's subordinate.
Martin is not the only man who benefits from standards of masculinity being so different from what they actually were in the 18th C. That scene where Gabriel is unable to win so much as a single recruit with his rhetoric, but when Anne Howard stands up . . . I mean, good for her, but being bested by a teenaged girl? Gabriel could kill every redcoat in North America and he'd never live that down.
I don't think writer Robert Rodat likes the 18th century. He should have just stuck with the WWII era.
Temperament, Violence, and Masculinity
Many years ago I wrote this post, which I've apparently sought and struggled to find multiple times because it didn't have a title! I wanted to amend that, but also to add some additional thoughts I've been wanting to shape into a meta for a while.
One thing that has always perplexed me about The Patriot is that Benjamin Martin's violent temper is framed as relatable and even endearing while William Tavington's comparative coolness is framed as aberrant and monstrous. I think there's more at play here than just a simple hero: good/villain: bad binary.
When we are introduced to Martin, he's in a barn working on a rocking chair as his children watch from their hiding places. When satisfied the work is complete, Martin sits down . . . and falls on his ass when the chair collapses. The children giggle as he gets up and throws the chair against the wall, where there are several others in similar condition, with a roar of frustration. Some time later, Martin is in a position of disempowerment that hurts far more than his pride. When Tavington commits all manner of violence against his family and home, Martin responds by arming two of his children and taking off to rescue his captured son from the detail of men Tavington ordered to hang him. Assuming all that and killing every soldier in the detail are necessary--which we'll get into later--what is definitely not is Martin hacking into the back of the last soldier repeatedly, again while screaming. Again, his children are watching, but this time in wide-eyed shock.
These are extremely different scenes that display the same character trait. Martin's response to feeling emasculated is violence, not against who or whatever is responsible but who or whatever is on hand. Even Martin's children know that this enlisted man is no more responsible for Tavington's orders than the broken chair is for Martin being a shit chairmaker. If someone's response to things not going their way is to lash out at whatever is within reach, and you live with them, that is cause for concern! And indeed both Samuel, one of the boys present, and Martin's mute daughter Susan are clearly (if temporarily) afraid of him.
Meanwhile, the list of emasculating things that happen to Tavington is very long indeed. At his first meeting with Cornwallis in the extended cut (also included in DVD bonus features), the general belittles him in front of his other officers by feeding his dogs from the same tray Tavington is attempting to eat from while making a premature ejaculation joke about Tavington to his face. In another meeting, their first in the theatrical release, he scolds Tavington for his treatment of Continental troops and makes him promise to give quarter in the future. In yet another meeting, Cornwallis accuses him of being "bested by a bedtime story." Indeed, if the historical Cornwallis has put as much effort into defeating the Continental Army as his fictional counterpart does into humiliating his colonel, we Americans might all be spelling "favorite" and "color" with a "u" today!
He doesn't fair much better with his Colonial enemies. Martin is able to walk/ride away from the two confrontations they have between the one at Martin's farm and the one on the battlefield. One of Martin's men spits in his face when he tries to bribe him. He is only able to survive a confrontation with Martin's oldest son by playing dead. Lastly and most dramatically, he is projectile launched into one of his allies, killing the man with his saber after Martin stabs his horse in the chest.
In spite of all this emasculation and adversity, Tavington never loses his temper, and because he keeps a cool head, his rate of success in getting at least some of the things he wants out of these encounters remains high. By biting his tongue in the Cornwallis scenes, he stays in a position to benefit from Cornwallis's own temper tantrum after Martin emasculates him! He not only grants permission for Tavington to commit atrocities but promises him a reward of land if they are successful. While Tavington does not learn Martin's whereabouts from Rollins, he does get a list of his men's families' addresses, which he uses to effectively stop the militia from blocking supplies leading up to the final battle. His possum tactic allows him not only to survive but to kill Gabriel. After Martin kills his horse, he gets up and kicks his ass. As someone who struggles with anger management issues, I find Tavington's focus on goals over of the moment emotions aspirational!
Obviously, Tavington is also a violent and terrifying figure. The rebels and those who aid them have good reason to be scared of him. His own men are not. He may put them in some irresponsible situations, particularly at the end, but he is not taking out his frustration with Cornwallis and Martin on them as many violent men would. His violence is always intentional and explicitly aligned with his long-term goals. Martin's is often excessive and driven by his emotions. Imagine if he had been as cool-headed and goal focused as Tavington is. Given that his stated goal at the South Carolina assembly in 1776 was to protect his children, would it not have made sense to send all of them to Aunt Charlotte while he went to reason with the officer in charge of the detail taking Gabriel to Camden, the same one who has already thanked him for his treatment of British soldiers, and build a case against Tavington? (Brandon Fisichella explains how this might have worked extensively in this video starting at 30:16.) He might not have gotten to be a war hero again, but he could have saved the lives of all the civilians Tavington kills in response to the militia's actions and the son he actually saves through violent means to boot.
Martin's masculinity is subject to far less stress testing than Tavington's. He is listened to and respected by his superiors as well as the men under his command and his family. When he makes errors in judgement, and there are some big ones, no one ever lays the blame at his door. Moreover, the consequences of his bad temper are ignored or minimized, as we see when Samuel and Susan. In two separate scenes, they conveniently forget their fear of the father at the moment of his departure. Martin's reckless attempt to rescue Gabriel could have resulted in additional headstones in the family plot, but conveniently all the soldiers guarding him are incompetent. Even going back to Fort Wilderness, Martin is extraordinarily fortunate that the Cherokees declared him and his men winners of the Atrocity Games and broke treaty with the French instead of doubling down on attacks against British civilians with them.
Anyone who struggles with anger management, or lives with someone who does, can tell you losing tempers does not solve problems; it creates more and worse ones. In this story, though, an even temper proves to be no match for plot armor. Martin is obviously a very appealing figure for many men even today, and it's not just because he's a father protecting his family or fighting for his country. There were other ways to accomplish both of those things. What Martin represents in the fantasy of consequence-free violent rampages.
The always amazing @lyledebeast is keeping the strong meta energy of the Fourth of July weekend going with another spectacular seminar for Evil Redcoat University! I'm absolutely nodding vigorously at the specific contrasts drawn here between The Patriot's disparate treatment of violent acts committed by Tavington Martin and the similarity in the actions themselves. As ever, the hypocrisy (and the American exceptionalism) are strong!
I find these contrasts especially compelling in light of the amplified double standards for masculine and feminine violence in the present-day United States, in which male folks can abuse their partners with near impunity but female folks face severe legal consequences for even firing a warning shot after years of domestic violence. Likewise, the open queer-coding of Tavington's character introduces chilling implications about the acceptability of killing a gay man. Given Martin hews to mainstream social expectations about whom he should be intimate with regardless of his actual sexuality, that paints a pretty nasty picture of compensatory manhood acts as normative praxis of American patriotism. Apple pie, anyone?
The contrasts OP draws here between the film's glorification of Martin's masculinity and its lampooning of Tavington's also make me think about how the bombast and flair of the latter's violence evokes tropes from "righteous female anger" narratives in other media. The Patriot goes out of its way to present the heavily personalized violence between Tavington and Martin as satisfying for the former in a way that military violence isn't, making me think of Waiting to Exhale's Bernadine serving exquisite looks while ransacking husband John's closet and setting fire to his care before walking away in a runway-worthy spectacle.
Some different narrative themes there obviously—Bernadine is getting back at her husband John for cheating on her with his bookkeeper and walking out on their marriage, a betrayal made worse by the racial dynamics of that infidelity. Meanwhile, Tavington and Martin are two white dudes separated by a common language, as OP delightfully illustrates with that note about British English spellings. But the energy Tavington brings to scenes involving Martin has always felt similar to me. Not only because he lights Martin and Martin-adjacent properties on fire while looking impossibly dapper, but also because he radiates a similar sense of wounded pride rising like a phoenix in a blaze of feathered glory.
It would make sense on a superficial level for Tavington to feel a strong drive to do The Most in besting Martin; he has already told us how much his ability to provide for his family and protect their legacy hinges on success in his military campaigns. Reading this analysis though, I find myself wondering if that drive also stems partly from the added frustration of constantly having straight norms of manhood and family upheld as the ideal while getting gruffly rejected by someone who still gets respect as a family man while clearly doing a shit job of looking out for his kids. Perhaps Tavington does feel some underlying anger at how Martin—as someone who's willing to play the game of straight life despite his sexuality likely being more expansive—gets more respect in society than a man like himself ever would, no matter how many Ohios he winds up getting in reward for his military successes.
Of course, any anger Tavington does feel over these dynamics gets no socially acceptable outlet. As OP has pointed out, The Patriot upholds "the fantasy of consequence-free violent rampages" for men like Martin who adhere to expected norms of masculinity while vilifying even more focused acts of aggression by men like Tavington who challenge those expectations. Whether during the American Revolution or its 250th anniversary, art imitates life.
Boy, has it been a lot time since I've seen 90's classic Waiting to Exhale! I'll have to see if I can track it down on streaming.
Reading through those paragraphs in this reply made me think about how superficially similar Tavington's acts of violence are and yet how much their meaning changes. Every time Tavington burns a building, it's to send a message. Fire has the effect of not only destroying everything it touches but also making itself known to others far beyond its reach. Violence is always a strategic spectacle for Tavington; that's why he orders Gabriel taken to Camden to be hanged and, more importantly, put on display. If he were motivated by sadism, it would make more sense to hang Gabriel there in front of his family, but Tavington safely assumes they've already gotten the point by then. The Martins aren't special yet, as we seen when Gabriel comes across the bodies hanging outside Pembroke church.
But then the next house he burns is the one to which Martin's surviving family fled, the next ones belong to his friends. The last one he burns belongs to we don't know who, but it is after the Pembroke congregation member tells him the militia is hiding in Black Swamp at the old Spanish Mission. So . . . why don't the dragoons make for Black Swamp and the Old Spanish Mission? When I've asked that before I've come to the conclusion that it's bad writing. Tavington has to make bad choices so Martin can win. But what if the effect of burning the last house is what Tavington intended for it to be? It lets Gabriel's vengeance brigade know where the Green Dragoons are. Perhaps the only hitch in Tavington's plan is that he draws the wrong Martin.
While Tavington is hard at work being the most literally flaming gay man in cinematic history, Martin's violence is more personal and intimate. Not only does he "take [his] time, but he's afforded a huge amount of respect for the privacy of his violence. This is unsurprising coming from the Americans, whose position is, "Yeah, we know what Captain Martin did at Fort Wilderness. He WON!" It is a little surprising to see all the British officers in speaking roles focus exclusively on how many men he killed and not, um, how he killed them. Martin is also capable of some pretty spectacular violence, but not only does the audience not see it directly, apparently no one does. I would have thought finding one man stabbed enough times to kill twenty at least as memorable as finding twenty bodies. Martin's privacy is certainly respected by the narrative with respect to his interactions with Tavington. All of their conversations are fully in public in broad daylight, but that is not the kind of energy the second two are serving. While Tavington has to shout about Martin's stupid, dead son to get the man to so much as look at him, Martin is able to say "Before this war is over I'm going to kill you" so softly only Tavington can hear him. Even in their fight at the end you'd think they were the only two people left in the war. Where are Martin's friends? On the couch watching him fight for his life like he's on HBO?
In all seriousness, it feels like one of Martin's "triumphs" at the end is that he gets to stay in the closet about his violence and other parts of his identity he's not willing to own.
Don’t forget to drink water so you can stay hydrated while you suffer
Temperament, Violence, and Masculinity
Many years ago I wrote this post, which I've apparently sought and struggled to find multiple times because it didn't have a title! I wanted to amend that, but also to add some additional thoughts I've been wanting to shape into a meta for a while.
One thing that has always perplexed me about The Patriot is that Benjamin Martin's violent temper is framed as relatable and even endearing while William Tavington's comparative coolness is framed as aberrant and monstrous. I think there's more at play here than just a simple hero: good/villain: bad binary.
When we are introduced to Martin, he's in a barn working on a rocking chair as his children watch from their hiding places. When satisfied the work is complete, Martin sits down . . . and falls on his ass when the chair collapses. The children giggle as he gets up and throws the chair against the wall, where there are several others in similar condition, with a roar of frustration. Some time later, Martin is in a position of disempowerment that hurts far more than his pride. When Tavington commits all manner of violence against his family and home, Martin responds by arming two of his children and taking off to rescue his captured son from the detail of men Tavington ordered to hang him. Assuming all that and killing every soldier in the detail are necessary--which we'll get into later--what is definitely not is Martin hacking into the back of the last soldier repeatedly, again while screaming. Again, his children are watching, but this time in wide-eyed shock.
These are extremely different scenes that display the same character trait. Martin's response to feeling emasculated is violence, not against who or whatever is responsible but who or whatever is on hand. Even Martin's children know that this enlisted man is no more responsible for Tavington's orders than the broken chair is for Martin being a shit chairmaker. If someone's response to things not going their way is to lash out at whatever is within reach, and you live with them, that is cause for concern! And indeed both Samuel, one of the boys present, and Martin's mute daughter Susan are clearly (if temporarily) afraid of him.
Meanwhile, the list of emasculating things that happen to Tavington is very long indeed. At his first meeting with Cornwallis in the extended cut (also included in DVD bonus features), the general belittles him in front of his other officers by feeding his dogs from the same tray Tavington is attempting to eat from while making a premature ejaculation joke about Tavington to his face. In another meeting, their first in the theatrical release, he scolds Tavington for his treatment of Continental troops and makes him promise to give quarter in the future. In yet another meeting, Cornwallis accuses him of being "bested by a bedtime story." Indeed, if the historical Cornwallis has put as much effort into defeating the Continental Army as his fictional counterpart does into humiliating his colonel, we Americans might all be spelling "favorite" and "color" with a "u" today!
He doesn't fair much better with his Colonial enemies. Martin is able to walk/ride away from the two confrontations they have between the one at Martin's farm and the one on the battlefield. One of Martin's men spits in his face when he tries to bribe him. He is only able to survive a confrontation with Martin's oldest son by playing dead. Lastly and most dramatically, he is projectile launched into one of his allies, killing the man with his saber after Martin stabs his horse in the chest.
In spite of all this emasculation and adversity, Tavington never loses his temper, and because he keeps a cool head, his rate of success in getting at least some of the things he wants out of these encounters remains high. By biting his tongue in the Cornwallis scenes, he stays in a position to benefit from Cornwallis's own temper tantrum after Martin emasculates him! He not only grants permission for Tavington to commit atrocities but promises him a reward of land if they are successful. While Tavington does not learn Martin's whereabouts from Rollins, he does get a list of his men's families' addresses, which he uses to effectively stop the militia from blocking supplies leading up to the final battle. His possum tactic allows him not only to survive but to kill Gabriel. After Martin kills his horse, he gets up and kicks his ass. As someone who struggles with anger management issues, I find Tavington's focus on goals over of the moment emotions aspirational!
Obviously, Tavington is also a violent and terrifying figure. The rebels and those who aid them have good reason to be scared of him. His own men are not. He may put them in some irresponsible situations, particularly at the end, but he is not taking out his frustration with Cornwallis and Martin on them as many violent men would. His violence is always intentional and explicitly aligned with his long-term goals. Martin's is often excessive and driven by his emotions. Imagine if he had been as cool-headed and goal focused as Tavington is. Given that his stated goal at the South Carolina assembly in 1776 was to protect his children, would it not have made sense to send all of them to Aunt Charlotte while he went to reason with the officer in charge of the detail taking Gabriel to Camden, the same one who has already thanked him for his treatment of British soldiers, and build a case against Tavington? (Brandon Fisichella explains how this might have worked extensively in this video starting at 30:16.) He might not have gotten to be a war hero again, but he could have saved the lives of all the civilians Tavington kills in response to the militia's actions and the son he actually saves through violent means to boot.
Martin's masculinity is subject to far less stress testing than Tavington's. He is listened to and respected by his superiors as well as the men under his command and his family. When he makes errors in judgement, and there are some big ones, no one ever lays the blame at his door. Moreover, the consequences of his bad temper are ignored or minimized, as we see when Samuel and Susan. In two separate scenes, they conveniently forget their fear of the father at the moment of his departure. Martin's reckless attempt to rescue Gabriel could have resulted in additional headstones in the family plot, but conveniently all the soldiers guarding him are incompetent. Even going back to Fort Wilderness, Martin is extraordinarily fortunate that the Cherokees declared him and his men winners of the Atrocity Games and broke treaty with the French instead of doubling down on attacks against British civilians with them.
Anyone who struggles with anger management, or lives with someone who does, can tell you losing tempers does not solve problems; it creates more and worse ones. In this story, though, an even temper proves to be no match for plot armor. Martin is obviously a very appealing figure for many men even today, and it's not just because he's a father protecting his family or fighting for his country. There were other ways to accomplish both of those things. What Martin represents in the fantasy of consequence-free violent rampages.
Seeing this clip the other day took me back to a few years ago when I tried to watch Dangerous Lady (1995) because Jason Isaacs plays a gay man in it. I say "tried" because not too long after the scene featured here took place I had to tap out because the homophobia got to be too much.
Some homophobia is to be expected in just about any representation from this decade (whether from characters in the story or filmmakers, and Dangerous Lady has some of both), but this takes the cake. When we meet Michael Ryan, he's a teenage boy being groomed by the head of a London crime family. Years later, when this man wants to retire, Ryan believes he will leave him charge of the business. When the man decides instead that he wants to go away and take Michael with him, Michael plans a vehicular homicide for him with his brothers. When he survives, Michael strangles him in his hospital bed. That's all well and good, but some years later Michael also kills Johnny, the man featured in this clip, because his jealous brothers suggest he cannot be trusted. I'd had enough by that point, especially knowing that Michael then dies from an HIV related infection during the 1980s at the series' end. Every bad thing ill-wishers in the 90s claimed happened to gay men all the time actually happens to Michael Ryan, and yet . . .
There isn't a hotter scene between two men from the whole decade that I've seen. The opening shot is a close up on Johnny's hand on Michael's lower back wearing the ring Michael's first lover had given him. They are naked. The white satin top sheet is doing more to highlight how thick and round Michael's ass is than to conceal it. As the camera pans back it becomes clear they are lying with their heads well below the pillows, near the side of the bed. Michael's feet, which the frame of the mirror in which we are seeing them cuts off, are likely hanging over the edge. Their positioning suggests that Johnny fucked Michael from behind and then they fell asleep like that. There is also a bottle of whiskey on the bedside table, with the stopper sitting next to and an empty glass, indicating that at least on of them had been drinking heavily the night before. I wonder if this might connect to the internalized homophobia Michael shows in an earlier scene with Johnny at a gay bar where the two argue about whether to attend an anniversary party for two acquaintances. The liquor gives him an opportunity to disassociate himself from his own desires.
There was so much potential for nuance in this story about a gay Irish mob boss in 1960s-1980s London, and it is perhaps best realized in this brief scene. The director manages to imply so much about Michael and Johnny's relationship without either one of them having to say anything. I can't help wondering if this isn't another case of straight writer/gay director. If that's the case, anyone who has seen The Patriot from just five years later can tell you the saga of gay directors lavishing cinematic attention on Jason Isaacs' ass did not end here!
The story is absolutely heartbreaking. Even though they changed the ending of Michael's death in the TV version, it's still so sad. I wanted him to have a happy ending. His brother poisons him against Johnny and feeds his addictions. The mother implies she'd have preferred Michael was banging his sister than be gay, which wtf???
Though his internalized homophobia was rampant throughout the show, the argument he has with Johnny about the party was so interesting to me so I'm glad you brought it up.
Instead of going to a party they were already set to appear at, Michael was upset about something else and snaps at Johnny for smoking "like a woman." There's a deeper implication there for two reasons to me.
One, what you mentioned about the possible penetration and Michael's internalized homophobia jumping out in that moment. He's possibly agitated because he knows what they'll be doing. He's the tough leader of the Ryans and letting a man still fuck him after all this time. Michael is not able to be at peace with who he wants and what he thinks the world needs him to be.
Two, while I don't think it was intended in the show or that argument with Johnny, I did pick up hints that Michael might have felt some gender envy toward his sister. The fact that she was born female and immediately considered "good" and "worth protecting." He wishes someone protected him like he'll protect her. I think that's why he flies into a rage when he finds out she's been sleeping around because Michael wanted better for her. He did his time as a whore so she wouldn't have to. I wish that all had been explored more.
It's so sad that the clip and the party itself are the only slices of queer joy we got to see for a second. That Michael went to gay clubs frequently enough to meet Johnny. He made queer friends! He started building a life for himself, but he was so scared he turned to the bottle. He let his paranoia get to him.
Sigh.
I'll always be thankful for Dangerous Lady giving us gorgeous shots of Jason and his very perky butt, but I do wish there was a version without the layers upon layers of homophobia.
(also @teawithmagician wrote a fic where Michael finds love with a Cuban boxer named Benito. I love them. But be warned, Michael's internalized homophobia does pop up if that is a trigger.)
@lady-lazarus-13, Ladymuse, thank you once again for mentioning me))
So, being as callous as I am, I watched Dangerous Lady with a raised brow, because Martina Cole fucking nuked Mickey Ryan with all sorts of electric boogaloos conservatives like to plague gay lives with in their fantasies.
Of course, Michael couldn't have feelings for a boy his age; he had to be groomed. Of course, he couldn't just break up with his lovers; he had to murder them! Of course he couldn't enjoy life for a second, because sinners must suffer: kids, don't become gays, or you'll be murderers, addicts, alcoolics, and unbearably suave and sexy in expensive tailored suits... Sorry, I was looking at Michael Ryan gifs again.
And with Ryan mom, may the devil piss on her grave, Martina again went over the top. No, I mean, there of course are people like that who hate their kids for not being what they want. But Martina Cole definitely overdid it with her antigay propaganda, and I consider her work with Michael's arc weak and performative.
She never even attempted to dig into him deeper than this evil evil gay perverse older brother cardboard figure she cut to be this daemon ex machina in Maura's story, and that's honestly preying on stereotypes and lazy writing.
Thanks to @teawithmagician @pipjepipje and @lady-lazarus-13 for your additions to my Dangerous Lady post!
I appreciate the clarification about Michael's death. HIV certainly would have been a likely cause of death for a gay man in 1980s London, but I honestly can't remember where I got the idea Michael died that way. But it sounds like his death was still a tragic and brutal end to a life that also had a tragic and brutal beginning (and middle too if we're honest).
And Michael's mother is absolutely awful: good lord. If he wanted to murder someone close to him there was no reason it had to be sweet Johnny. She was right there!
It's not just the things that do happen on screen that make this a hard watch but also how few of the in-between moments we get. Michael clearly cares for Johnny sufficiently to live with him, which cannot have been easy for the eldest son of an Irish Catholic family, but we get so few moments of their relationship and it is SO easy for Michael's brothers to convince him. "What's Johnny do all day?" He lives with his boyfriend in a solid white London flat that somehow remains spotless . . . nobody with any good will towards him would be in any doubt about what he does all day!
I still feel bitter about this show all these years later. Michael Ryan should be my second favorite Jason Isaacs role. He has everything going for him, but the writing lets us both down so hard.
Raymond de Merville