@mabledonut - Tumblr Blog

the dread on my tongue, the blood in my lungs, ch 1/2 - zanka sickfic/whump

ao3! 4.2k - written for @gachiwhumpweek day 6: pollution! Please refer to the tags in the ao3 link for any warnings!

“Good work. We're lucky we finished that up before it started getting dark,” Enjin says, pulling off his mask with a sigh of relief.

As they enter the parking garage at the very edge of the No Man's Land, the rest of the team follows suit.

Rudo is exhausted. That was at least a full hour of fighting Trash Beasts, and with such a large group of Givers to go against them, it was an exceptionally long time. They were large, lizard-like creatures in a No Man's Land that most of them were unfamiliar with, since it's usually out of their jurisdiction.

The air was awfully potent, thick and humid. Delmon made sure that everyone double-checked their equipment and oxygen supply. Follo and Riyo both realized their tanks were only at half capacity before they went out onto the field, so Enjin came up with a plan, and sent them off the field about halfway through to make sure no one depleted their oxygen supply. They both greet the rest of the team as they approach their company vehicles.

“You got all of them?” Follo asks, impressed, based on his expression.

“Duh,” Enjin says.

“It was at least fifty six,” Tomme reports, still with her notebook open.

“Fifty six?! You’re kidding!” Enjin says, genuinely sounding surprised. Rudo realized that it was a large hoard of them, ones that were pretty difficult to take out because of their size and slippery movements, but fifty six is a lot. “Great work, team. I think an hour’s great time.”

“Jealous I didn’t get the full action,” Riyo says, giving Enjin a high-five.

“An hour, already? We have the potential to get work done much faster than that,” Tamsy says with a pout.

“And Zanka! Damn, you took out damn near half of them!” Enjin says, apparently not having heard what Tamsy said.

Rudo's eyes follow Enjin's gaze to land on Zanka, who is walking toward the first car, the one that they came in. His full-face mask and oxygen attachment is still on. Weird, because they're safe in here, and none of them like having those on for longer than necessary. Rudo knows he definitely doesn’t, even though it looks kinda cool.

The weirdest part is that Zanka doesn't react at all to what Enjin says. Zanka would never ignore Enjin on purpose for any reason.

“Why's your mask still on, Zanka?” Enjin says with a half-way laugh, but Zanka doesn't reply.

He's standing against the car now, leaning against it with one hand keeping him steady, the same hand that's holding his staff, like he’s off balance and didn’t expect to need extra support. It starts to slip from his grip, and it clatters onto the floor beside him. It gets a few eyes on him, but with nearly fifteen of them in the garage between Givers and Supporters, most of them are focused on removing and packing up their gear before heading back on the road. It’s a two hour drive back.

“Zanka?” Enjin starts. He walks a little closer, and Rudo joins in. His eyes scan Zanka for any injuries, but he doesn’t see anything. And he was with him most of the time, he would have seen if he was injured.

Rudo watches Enjin lay a hand on Zanka's shoulder. He says something to him as Zanka’s hands move to remove his full face, but Rudo doesn’t hear it. Enjin holds the mask for him. He hears Zanka start to cough, holding a shaking hand to his mouth. It’s not all that bad, at first, but Zanka sounds like he's almost choking when he takes the oxygen mask off, and Enjin's posture totally changes suddenly at the sight of something in his hand that Rudo can’t see.

Zanka's knees collapse underneath him, hard, and he falls forward into Enjin’s arms, both his mask and the oxygen line falling to the floor with him.

Rudo's blood runs cold. Obviously, something is very wrong Zanka, but he's even more concerned about the fact that everyone is reacting the same way, when just seconds ago, everyone was minding their own business. It’s urgency. Practice. Gris and Tomme are both there within seconds as Enjin lays Zanka down on his back beside the vehicle. Follo takes Zanka’s mask and oxygen line off of the floor, and Tomme disconnects the rest of the equipment from his bag to hand to Follo.

Zanka isn’t coughing anymore, but it doesn’t sound like he’s breathing the way that he’s supposed to.

“C'mon, Zanka. Breathe,” Enjin mumbles urgently. “You hearin’ me?”

Zanka is taking shallow, shuddering breaths, like it hurts to get any more than that in his lungs. His eyes aren't focusing. He's not fully conscious, he realizes, and he sees the change happen right in front of him, because his eyes were wide open just seconds before. Rudo wants to help, he wants to do something, but he doesn't know what's happening to him and he doesn't want to get in anybody's way. He grits his teeth.

“He's breathing. It's shallow,” Gris says. Tamsy and Delmon have wandered a little closer, but far enough to not get in anyone’s way. Riyo is standing behind Enjin, a hand on his shoulder, watching Zanka carefully and holding his staff for him.

“No passing out, Zanka,” Tomme tells him, flashing a pen light in his eyes. She’s sitting at his head.

“Zanka, squeeze my hand if you can hear me,” Enjin tells him, taking his hand and waiting for a response. It takes several seconds, but Zanka's hand makes an effort to squeeze. It's weak, very weak, but the intent is there. Rudo is shocked, honestly. He doesn’t seem conscious at all. “Good. That's good, Zanka, now we need you to take some good breaths.”

Enjin takes the lead for him, taking in some deep breaths, but Zanka can't follow. Every earnest attempt he makes at a breath ends in him nearly choking from the coughs it causes.

“I know it hurts, I'm sorry,” Enjin says. His voice sounds confident, but it wavers.

“Enjin, should I call Alice? Eishia?” Riyo says quietly beside him. Rudo doesn’t hear what Enjin says back, but his attention doesn’t leave Zanka’s face for a second.

Rudo is really trying not to panic.

“What’s - what’s going on?” he mumbles. His hands are shaking. This doesn’t make any sense. Zanka was just fighting out there with them, walking back with them. Rudo didn’t have the slightest clue that something was wrong with him. Was he just not paying enough attention?

“Is his equipment broken?” Tamsy asks with a hum. “That air was extremely toxic. He'll need immediate medical attention.”

“He checked it before we went out!” Delmon confirms. Rudo remembers that. Zanka said he checked his.

“The tank is completely empty,” Follo says, just a few feet away, on his knees and inspecting all of Zanka’s oxygen equipment. Enjin’s eyes dart over, looking confused and a little freaked out to be hearing that. “I'll leak test it.”

Rudo watches him do it. Close off the valve and flush the line, bring up the pressure, and apparently, it doesn’t hold. Follo does it again and watches the line in front of him, and sure enough, he finds the issue.

“There's a tear in the tube,” Follo tells them, “the whole line is contaminated.”

He's already working on replacing Zanka's oxygen supply with his own, disconnecting his bag and mask and handing it to Gris, who starts working on situating it over Zanka’s face. He groans quietly, very clearly not understanding his situation. He sounds like he’s in pain, and he can imagine he is.

“We're close to Alice's clinic. About an hour and a half. We'll head straight there, the rest of you go back to headquarters,” Enjin says urgently. Tomme sounds doubtful about doing a drive that long, but Enjin tells her Alice is the only one that can treat this properly. So he knows what’s going on.

“I'm coming with you,” Riyo insists, still behind him.

Rudo wants to go with him, but he knows he would just be in the way. He doesn’t have any idea what he would have done in his situation if it were just him and Zanka. He’s only assuming this is related to the toxic air of the No Man’s Land. Everyone else here seems to have dealt with this in one way or another before.

Rudo watches Zanka’s head lull to the side, his eyes closing and everything else go limp, including the already loose grip he had on Enjin’s hand. He waits a second, expecting Zanka to correct that and wake back up, but he doesn’t.

“Hold on,” Enjin says and Gris completely stops in his tracks, preparing to move Zanka into the back of the vehicle. Two other Supports have already laid the back seats down and gotten the stretcher out to lay Zanka on and transport him into the vehicle.. “He passed out. Is he still breathing?”

Enjin’s voice makes it sound almost like he's panicking, which Rudo didn't know was even possible for him.

“Zanka, come back. Hey,” Enjin stammers, his hand on his face, trying to wake him - but it doesn’t work. Zanka’s eyes stay closed. He doesn’t make any sounds at all. He isn’t breathing. There’s a wheeze, but that’s it. Rudo doesn’t think it sounds like he’s getting any air.

He isn’t breathing.

“Do we have equipment to intubate?” Gris asks urgently. “We shouldn't waste any time.”

“Dammit…dammit, you're right,” Enjin mumbles. Clearly, Zanka's condition is not good enough for him to not worry. “I'll do it.”

Rudo isn't really familiar with what they’re talking about. The Supporters that brought out the stretcher now have a box with supplies he’s never seen before. He has no clue what they're doing, or what they’re getting ready to do. It’s terrifying. Unfamiliar equipment, words and things Rudo knows nothing about, and something he doesn’t have any gauge on the seriousness of. He just knows not breathing isn’t good. And that’s terrifying.

Rudo shivers at the sudden touch of a hand on his shoulder. He didn't mean to react like that. He didn't have any idea Tamsy was behind him.

“It’s pollution sickness. Huge cause of death here on the Ground…”

Rudo knows Tamsy doesn’t mean to sound so scary, but it sends a shiver up his spine in an already scary and unfamiliar situation. He remembers hearing Enjin talk about that, hearing about Alice’s experiences, and of course, Gob’s body. Enjin knelt down next to his cot.

But Zanka can’t just…

“It's scary, isn't it? To watch someone nearly die.”

Rudo feels like he can't breathe. All he can see is Regto's blood soaked clothes, and when he looks down at his gloves to pull himself out of it, they're stained that same ugly red. He was already nearly back into these memories without realizing it, but Tamsy's words completely sent him back to that place.

He couldn't have known.

Tamsy's hand rubs his shoulder, and Rudo feels like he can take a breath. He has to snap out of it. There’s no way any of them would let Zanka die. No way.

“Don't be afraid, Rudo. There's excellent doctors here on the Ground. Your friend will be just fine,” Tamsy says. Rudo can hear the smile just in his voice, without needing to look at him.

He's right. Tamsy always knows what to say.

Rudo is pulled away from the scene. Tamsy and Delmon usher him away, with Follo and a few other Supporters. Rudo wants to stay, he wants to say something to them, but he can’t bring himself to. He knows they’ll take care of Zanka. He knows he’ll be okay. Enjin wouldn’t let anything bad happen to him.

“We can’t be in the way. And it’s not good for so many Givers to be in one place, anyhow,” Tamsy says as he sees his eyes unable to leave even the direction of the scene, hidden behind the cars. Rudo understands what he means. They can’t be in the way, sure, but even if they stood back, watched and waited, it would mean a longer time for Headquarters to have less Givers. It makes sense, he thinks.

Follo climbs in the back seat with Rudo. Rudo doesn't say anything, he doesn't know what he would even say, but apparently that's written all over his face. His fists are balled in his lap, and he tries to avoid looking out of his window as Delmon leads the car out of the garage, another vehicle following closely behind them. Don’t think about it. It’s fine. It’ll be fine.

Zanka had a tear in his oxygen equipment. The air out there was really, really toxic. None of them have any idea how long the tear was there for.

He wishes he could have done something.

“Tamsy,” Rudo starts. His voice is so shaky. He tries to steady it.

Tamsy turns his head curiously. His eyes stare straight into Rudo.

“Is…is that really enough to kill a person? One time?” he asks.

“Who said it was going to kill him?” Follo asks nervously. Delmon opens his mouth to interject, but Tamsy stops him, a finger in his face.

Tamsy sighs. “Well…perhaps, prolonged exposure in such an area could cause sudden death, especially in any person with compromised lungs. Common down here, as you can imagine. The air in that district wasn't just toxic, it was humid. Potent. The irritants could close an airway. There could be a fluid buildup in his lungs.. Could be dangerous for anyone, and Zanka is young…”

“Don't talk like that, Tamsy. Zanka isn't going to die,” Follo says sternly, but his voice shakes.

“What? I'm answering Rudo's question,” Tamsy says innocently. “Zanka's exposure wasn't enough to kill him. He was still breathing in his oxygen supply. It was just…tainted, because of the damage to his line. And slow, steady exposure is certainly enough to put a person in such a condition. The adrenaline from the fight was probably keeping him upright long enough for no one else to notice.”

It’s a little reassuring. It’s not the same situation as Gob, it sounds like. That was built up over time.

“But he has a bad habit of ignoring pain, too,” Follo points out. “We don’t know how long his equipment was damaged for.”

Rudo has definitely noticed that about him, and it makes the reassurance disappear.

“Enjin has it handled!” Delmon insists before Tamsy can shut him up again. “I know he does!”

Rudo bites his lip so hard that it almost bleeds.

…

“Don't second guess yourself,” Gris tells him sternly, but the concern in his tone is clear as day. He’s scared too.

Enjin's hands are shaking so much that he doesn't know if he can even hold anything still enough for something like this. He's watched Alice do this a few times before, he's even helped her do it, but he's never actually done it without the help of an actual medical professional. He’s never done it by himself. And this is Zanka.

He knows the risks. Placing it in his esophagus by accident wouldn't kill him as long as Enjin noticed, it would just mean he wouldn’t actually be getting an airway secured.. He has to be careful not to cause any injuries to his teeth, vocal chords or anything else.. A lung collapse is possible, but at this point, it's not worse than the fact that he can't breathe on his own.

Stop wasting time and do the damn thing.

Zanka being unconscious like this will make this a little easier, at least.

After smacking it against his palm to make sure the light stays on, Enjin positions the laryngoscope that Gris has handed to him into Zanka’s mouth. The light makes a big difference, and makes him a little less nervous about doing this, but it’s still terrifying.

He sees the vocal chords. That’s his landmark, essentially. Tomme hands him the endotracheal tube, and he doesn’t have a lot of time for deliberation, he just has to do it. Zanka gags, but it so weak that it doesn’t move anything out of place.

He lines up the tube with the laryngoscope, and inserts it into his trachea before shoving the rest in. It's rough, but necessary. It didn’t go in as easy as it should have, which probably means that his airway was compromised just like he had suspected, and doing this was in fact the right call. Enjin probably hit his vocal chords in the process, but those can heal.

Gris already has him reconnected to his supply as soon as Enjin takes the laryngoscope out, the one that Follo had leant to them, and he's closing the valve and squeezing the bag to force oxygen back into his lungs as Enjin cuffs the tube to keep it in place. Enjin watches his chest rise and fall again after Gris releases the bag. He does it again, and Enjin puts his ear right up against Zanka's mouth to make sure he can't hear any leaks. He does it twice.

“Is he breathing on his own?” Riyo asks. Her tone sounds uncertain, nervous. Completely out of the ordinary for her.

Gris and Enjin both wait a few seconds with Gris holding off on giving him manual breaths, and after a few agonizing seconds, they see Zanka’s chest rise and fall on his own.

They don’t waste any time. Gris and Tomme both move Zanka onto the stretcher quickly, and Enjin joins them in moving him into the car, his legs shaking as he stands. They need to get him to Alice’s quickly. Enjin can’t see his lungs, and that’s the most concerning part.

“Where’s Rudo?” Enjin asks out loud, scanning the area for him. The third and fourth cars are already packed with the rest of their Supporters, but Rudo isn’t anywhere to be found.

“With Eager. And Follo,” Tomme informs him. Enjin didn’t see Tamsy and Delmon take Rudo - he would have been fine with him joining them on the way to Alice, but maybe it’s better he didn’t. He thinks it would be way too anxiety inducing for him, which must have been why Tamsy thought to take him away from the scene.

There’s a pit in his stomach that’s getting a lot larger to ignore. His legs and hands are shaking despite and everything he’s doing to keep that hidden, Gris sees it. He feels a hand on his shoulder before he climbs in the car, beside Zanka. It’s basically a command to take a deep breath.

“He'll be fine. His exposure wasn't long,” Gris assures him, even though they have no way to confirm that. “Alice will take care of him when we get there. Take a second.”

Enjin tries to take a deep breath, but he can’t focus enough to do it properly. He doesn’t have any time to calm himself down.

“You did good. Relax and focus on where we're taking him,” Gris tells him.

“Freak out about it later,” Enjin says in agreement. Gris gives him a look like he’s trying to tell him that’s not what he’s trying to say, but he doesn’t know any other way to do it.

Zanka looks awful. His skin is almost completely white. He’s breathing now, sure, but it’s his lungs that are the real problem they need to worry about, and the intubation will only work for as long as his lungs are in good condition. Riyo is sitting with him, by his head, still giving him breaths of their oxygen supply just in case, it seems like.

Enjin remembers the blood that Zanka was coughing up right before he collapsed. He has to remember that they’re not in the clear just because this happened to work.

“Are we keeping this on the whole time?” Riyo asks. She disconnects and empties the reservoir bag while she’s talking before re-attaching it. Good idea, that way if there’s any of it left in his lungs, it’s getting emptied completely. “Follo didn’t have a lot left in here. But I can attach mine when it’s empty.”

“We’ll keep him connected to his oxygen until we get back. That way he's getting pure air, hopefully help filter out any crap left in his lungs…” Enjin says. “And Alice will take care of the rest.”

Enjin climbs into the back with Riyo and Zanka, and Gris closes the door behind them, getting into the front seat with Tomme.

Enjin makes sure Zanka is breathing. He doesn’t take his eyes off of him, not even for a second. Once he’s a little closer to him, he tries to shift Zanka so that he’s sitting up against Enjin’s leg, supporting his head with his hand. He remembers that it’s not good for him to be lying flat with his lungs in the condition that they’re in.

“Thank fuck you’re okay,” he whispers. He’s okay for now. “You scared the shit outta me, Zanka.”

“That was impressive,” Tomme tells him. Turning her body from where she is in the passenger seat. “I didn’t know you knew how to do that.”

Enjin breathes a sigh of relief. “Alice has taught me a thing or two.”

Honestly, though, he feels like he's going to throw up. He never wants to do that again. He technically doesn’t know how to do it, he’s never been formally taught how to, but he’s just seen it enough times to pick it up, just for an emergency situation like this.

“He’s still really pale,” Enjin mumbles as he watches Riyo push Zanka's hair out of his face.

“It’s better than before,” Riyo assures him, but Enjin doesn’t look so sure. “It is, really.”

“I’ll take care of this, Riyo. Sit down, you’re gonna hurt your back sitting like that,” Enjin tells her.

“I will and you won’t?” Riyo asks, a brow raised in suspicion, but he waves her off.

…

About a half hour passes before anything changes. It’s a mostly silent car ride. Gris apologizes for bumps along the way, he’s driving way faster than he usually does, on Zanka’s behalf. Enjin’s half inclined to make a comment on how out of place that is for him, but he can’t take his thoughts away from Zanka for more than a few seconds.

He almost died. He seriously stopped breathing for a few seconds. Enjin feels sick thinking about it.

There's eye movement from Zanka. Enjin isn't sure that he's actually in the process of waking up, because he's opened his eyes a handful of times now before just passing out again. It’s scared the shit out of him every single time, but he’s been able to breathe through it anyway, thanks to the tube.

This time, though, he's aware. His breaths start to pick up and Enjin realizes he's panicking. It’s completely possible Zanka doesn’t remember anything before he started coughing up blood, because he wasn't responsive when Enjin noticed something was wrong. He doesn't really have any idea at what point it started to be painful, or hard to breathe for him. He didn't show any signs. He was quiet, but he’s never been talkative.

Enjin realizes this might be trouble when Zanka's hand reaches for the end of the tube.

“Hold on, hey,” Enjin tells him, taking both of his hands with a firm grip, but making sure he's gentle when he pulls them down. “Gotta keep that in there. Breathe slow, okay?”

“He's awake?” Riyo asks, turning back from the middle seat to look.

“Yeah,” Enjin answers quietly, keeping eye contact with Zanka. The panic starts to fade, and Enjin thinks he might pass out again, but he doesn't. At least not right away. “Had to tube ya’, sorry. You weren't breathing.”

Zanka might not even comprehend what he's being told.

“We're taking you to Alice, and you'll be good as new by tomorrow. Got it?” Enjin tells him, squeezing his hand. Maybe he’s making too many promises. “Don’t freak out on me.”

“Is he okay, Enjin?” Gris asks from the front.

“He’s fine. Just waking up,” Enjin says. He’s still keeping a close eye on his respirations, the effort it takes to breathe, the oxygen supply. He switched it to Riyo’s not long ago, and the meter isn’t empty yet.

“Should you call Alice?” Riyo asks.

“Good idea,” Enjin mumbles. He doesn’t know why he didn’t think to earlier.

He rings her, and she answers quickly. She always does when Enjin’s the one calling.

He briefs her on the situation. The equipment damage, estimated time of exposure, the blood in his coughs, the way his airway was probably compromised and the intubation. He feels like he’s not in his own body, explaining all of that to her. He feels like he watched it from somewhere else. He’s got an awful headache right now.

“How far are ya’?” Alice asks him after listening to his explanation.

“An hour?” Enjin says. He's not sure exactly, but Tomme confirms his guess with a nod.

“Take him to a hospital. Starhe’s probably the closest one to ya’. I'll meet ya’ there.”

Enjin pauses for a second. He feels like heart rate spike, for sure. “Hospital-?”

“If ya’ had to fuckin’ tube him, he needs a hospital,” she says. “You said there was blood, didn’t ya’?!”

Riyo is glaring holes into him, and he realizes he didn’t tell anyone about the blood when it first happened. He doesn’t know why. Maybe that made it way too scary.

“Okay - okay, we’ll reroute. I’ll - we’ll call you when we get there.”

Trending Blogs

Recently Viewed Blogs