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@macandcheesein
the kids are calling them "stone fruits." they start off small—think cherries. then they're hooked and they need a quick fix, they get peaches, maybe some nectarines. it's all they can think about. before you know it, they're trying the really hard stuff—apricots, plums. once they taste a mango there's no going back.
If u could bring dead ppl back 2 life with magic like in video games the hollywood stunt scene would be out of control. There'd be professional snuff actors winning awards for dying the best. Producers would be like "If u need somebody to get killed in a film call up Resurrection Eddie, nobody gets killed as good as Eddie"
THAR SHE BLOWS!! A LIFTED BLACK FORD F150 WITH TINTED WINDOWS. PASSENGER PRINCESS, GET THE HARPOONS!!!!!
they should invent putting on sunscreen that doesn't feel like putting on sunscreen
if infinite monkeys on typewriters will eventually write shakespeare then surely 100 million americans with pistols will eventually successfully assassinate the us president
Vampire girl explaining that vampires don’t necessarily have to kill someone to drink their blood, but she did kind of kill a lot of people back when she was all depressed pre-transition: “when I was an egg I ate four dozen lads”
you may have noticed that my story is disorganized and thematically incoherent and my plot structure is weaker by the verse. this is commentary on the chaos of mortal existence under the yoke of the immortal gods
the idea that every summer will be as hot if not hotter than this for the rest of my life is unbearable i need to (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health) murder an oil executive
Jack’s first parent-teacher conference, he takes Sam and Dean
The teacher starts saying how incredibly kind Jack is, what a wonderful student he is. It’s only when they’re saying their goodbyes and are getting called Mr and Mr Winchester that Sam realizes they made a grave mistake. Like oh! No! We’re brothers 😅
Teacher is SO embarrassed. Jack’s always gushing about his dads, so it was truly an honest mistake
To avoid this, next time, Jack takes Cas and Sam. Dean’s busy, anyway. Different teacher, but she has notes on Sam from the previous teacher. ‘Mr. Winchester, it’s so nice to meet you. And this must be your partner, Mr…?’
Sam is So Flustered but also thinks this is hilarious. Cas is so confused until he gets it. They quickly correct her once they stop laughing.
Next year, it’s Cas and Dean’s turn. Sam is already mentally prepared for what’s about to happen. He’s so ready to laugh at Dean’s face when he gets home.
Turns out the joke was on him when the two come home holding hands. Cas is just like, ‘Explaining our relationship last time was too embarrassing. I thought it was easier to just agree that we were husbands.’
Sam: ‘And you’re still holding hands because…?’
Dean’s face is SO red. Sam truly does have the last laugh
i love sabriel for a lot of reasons but a lot of it is just because lucifer would hate it. his obnoxious freak little brother stole his fucking government mandated boytoy
have you listened to mabel podcast episode 8.5 letter from juniper. will you listen to mabel podcast episode 8.5 letter from juniper. when will you listened to mabel podcast episode 8.5 letter from juniper
contributing to the butch4butch mentos agenda
There's a recurring online tendency to aestheticize consensus itself. The imagined future village is full of emotionally compatible people who enjoy communal gardening, conflict resolution circles, acoustic folk music, mutual aid potlucks, and repairing bicycles together at sunset. Which is nice for the people who genuinely enjoy that lifestyle. But plenty of humans are solitary, prickly, obsessive, urban, nocturnal, sensory-seeking, technologically attached, contrarian, novelty-seeking, private, or just plain difficult. Those people do not evaporate after the revolution. They do not get Left Behind while you are Raptured into the Utopia. They become your neighbors.
can we bring back the term "fair-weather friend" bc I feel like if fair-weather friends got called that more this whole argument about whether or not you should be there for your friends when it's inconvenient/at what point of personal inconvenience it's ok to bail on your friends would kinda fall apart bc like. we literally have a word for "friend who's only there when you don't need something from them" because the baseline expectation is that a friend should be there even when it sucks. like we used to make fun of people for bailing on their friends.
the bad thing about having unhealthy habits due to mental illness, is when you DO do something healthy style you can't brag about about it because then people will then know you've been doing it yucky style all along. Like you can't brag you changed your sheets or brushed your teeth because then ppl will be like oh did you not brush your teeth regularly before? Thats yucky disgusting! So you just gotta keep it to yourself. And be proud alone, I suppose.
