we are about to cause some Big Time Problems

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@madkatchaos
we are about to cause some Big Time Problems
Shoutout to my stressed out guardian angel
reject modernity (chatgpt) embrace tradition (niche reddit forums)
reject tradition (niche Reddit forums) embrace the Dark Arts (Ao3)
Is there a word for tipsy-high? Did I just coin a word?
The fastest animal in the world is the Mexican/Brazilian Free-Tailed Bat, at 99.54 MPH in horizontal flight.
So wouldn’t it be cool if the grim reaper was a bat. Imagine a human skeleton w a cloak and a scythe running about tryna catch a rabbit soul.
How does anyone ever exist outside in public in peace? Any one of these people could be a serial killer. GET AWAY FROM ME
Things I wish people would say to me #1:
There is no way for me to explain to you dysphoria. For to understand means to comprehend. To feel the weight of the message and you will simply not do that. You either willfully don’t, or you simply just can’t.
To be dysphoric is not a fleeting moment of whimsical ponder. It is the thought to be had at all times, regardless of whether you’re having comfortable thoughts at the moment or not.
To explain dysphoria is to take
“hey you know how sometimes when you were a kid you wanted to be catwoman? But then you grew up and became a soldier firefighter man? Yeah, that but like infinitely more intense. Yeah, I just didn’t stop wanting to become cat-woman so much that I wanted to pierce my skin from the inside and wear a new skin body vessel just to be her. That’s what I was imagining while you were taking too long to order fries when you were 16.
You went through boot camp to start your life. Then you picked specialties probably and became your best self probably. So you can die happy knowing you had a full life.
I took medication that grew me breasts snd made my skin soft and hair finer, not to start either.
For 25 years I’ve just been trying to constantly catch up to a starting point that never comes to me no matter what I do or how long the wait is. I have to fight the world, everyone, all the time, to be able to take this medication and we are fighting to change the minds of people who specifically in particular want us dead/forgotten/hidden away. Then I have to take the medication every single day, without fail, navigating fucking side effects, just for a second train of hormone fueled puberty to hit you again and then, maybe, you get surgery if you can afford it.
Yeah, bitch.”
and make it so professedly polite so you don’t kill me for accidentally saying something in an accent too girly for you, that it ends up being some bullshit like “I’m trans? because brain juice weird”
Being trans is not just to want to be boy or girl or whatever. It’s not so men can dress up as women to harass people in bathrooms. It’s not so we can kidnap you and turn your pets gay and make the apocalypse sexy.
Being trans is to have a conviction of thought so strong, a belief so strongly held that it burns your hand and with that pain, being trans is to exist everyday amidst a world of hate.
It’s also that despite all this bullshit, if you’re still standing at the end of the day, and you still want to put up with all that and keep going, for a small chance that you think might look more like you, that’s what makes you a fighter, babe. And I love you for that.
No one:
Me with a hard candy in mouth: *crunch*
Everyone: wtf
me sorri
I STEPPED OUTSIDE OF THE FRONT DOOR OF MY OWN HOME ONLY TO FIND THE DEER THAT TRIED TO KICK MY ASS LAST YEAR STANDING RIGHT THERE IN MY FRONT YARD. BOLD AS BRASS.
AM I NOT SAFE ANYWHERE ANYMORE
for those of you who were not here last year: this deer is the most obnoxious, unnatural red-orange color I’ve ever seen, only appears when it’s raining, and once chased me a quarter mile through the woods. her name is Hot Cheeto Hatred and she is my nemesis
Bro that’s your soul mate
Dating as a concept is weird tho.
Step 1: put yourself out there. Go on fun random spontaneous adventures with A RANDOM FUCKING STRANGER AND THE ONLY THING YOU KNOW ABOUT THEM IS THEY LIKE FOOTBALL and not the original football where people use foots on a ball, but the other stupid one.
Step 2: if you don’t die or get killed or locked in a basement for all eternity; that’s your life partner now.
Why *is* graverobbing illegal?
Those people are dead and bones. They be wearing Rolexes and expensive attire in expensive wooden boxes. You know how much a coffin costs? More than the EBT I pay taxes for yet don’t qualify to enjoy the benefit of
I’m not high yet but I AM thinky
So hear me out right
What if ancient philosophers knew the power and influence they had back then and when Greece was still infant, they came up with the idea of love
And they were like hey the world population gonna keep fucking and more people will keep coming and we still don’t know the answer to life universe and everything
So to cover up our own failures we must start this conspiracy that there obviously is a magical force called love that everyone’s made for
And then during the crusades the Jesus people were like hmm that’s a fun new lore addition
And then over time to modern day, humanity largely went on a monogamous journey
Stories of true love and fucking the existence of Disney
But now there’s dating apps and people being less catholic about sex
So maybe we’ve outlived that reason and in our day and age there is really no reason for love and I think everyone’s sort of subconsciously gets that once they turn 18/21 and realize the world is less about kind polite shit and more about survival and currency
Gifts are fun coz then you’re like “aha I’ve trapped you in social conventions that you so desperately didn’t want to be in, ahahahaha”
Hey universe?
I reject you. You’re wrong. This is not how my story ends.
MY BROTHER JUST SAID MY REED (for a saxophone) LOOKED LIKE A BOX OF CIGARETTES
WHAT SAXOPHONE DO YOU PKAY PLEASE I PLAY ALTO SAX
I PLAY ALTO TOO
I thought this was about Altos Adventure/Odyssey which is a game I love and I got excited…
Constantly torn between who I wanna be and I am who I am F off.
judy hopps is a cop who leverages a strangers felony tax evasion to get him to put his life in danger and work around the clock so that she can keep her job
she then presumably helps him cover up his crime to get him a job on the same police force
judy hopps has some very nice feet but we need to remember that she’s still a cop
just fyi for everyone out there using tumblr on this day that you can reblog a post without the extra commentary by clicking the OP’s URL on the original post
She is a cop and all cops are already unsexy
I’m sorrynotsorry to everyone in the notes just learning that Tumblr is a place for horny furries to blog about acab.
Unfortunately, Judy Hopps is very sexy AND ALSO a cop and therefore a bastard, and insisting that all cops are automatically unsexy is still attaching appearances to morality. Remembering that things can be sexy and evil, or ugly and good is imperative! Forgetting this derails and disrupts the conversation.
A god among mortal philosophers emerges