There&#x27;s sheep in the boiler room

no wait they make a strong point

let's put Scooby and the gang in a genuine horror movie situation, i wanna see what these freaks are truly capable of

"didn't they already do this with—" no. put them in a slasher film. put them in a BLOODBATH. put this van full of weirdoes in a Texas Chainsaw Massacre scenario i have FAITH in them

THEY'D DO WELL IN SAW

batneko

okay I'm thinking about this

not Saw specifically but a slasher with a legit body count. Summer camp slashers are overplayed but I think it really works because it's the type of thing the Scooby gang WOULD get caught up in.

like some of the counselors didn't show up (got got) so the head counselor calls his younger cousin to see if him and his friends can fill in last minute. They show up and they're a bunch of nerds, one of them even has an anxiety dog, and they don't have a big role at first. It seems like the movie is setting them up as cannon fodder.

and then the deaths start and suddenly the nerds are locked the fuck in. The little one with the glasses actually fixed the phone line and is taking stock of all their supplies in case the vehicles go out. The counselor's cousin who seemed like a himbo has set up a perimeter and made makeshift alarms for all the doors and windows, knows all the entry points. The anxious one and his dog are keeping the mood up with the snacks and activities that were supposed to be for the kids, making sure nobody panics and starts making dumb decisions. Somebody tried to grab the redhead and she flipped him over and had him zip-tied before anybody noticed. Weren't they a D&D group or something? What is happening???

lizardlicks

Fuck the slasher movie just effectively becomes Home Alone but with Four Kevin McAllisters

Bro's fucked.

ode-on-a-grecian-butt

art by Daviddv1202

dawen

at one point the kid with the anxiety dog says, "man, why does this keep happening? this is, like, the eighth time thid year!"

it's barely June. abruptly all the normal councilors understand a) why he has an anxiety dog, and b) why the dog has anxiety too.

Hey I heard you’re giving out anxiety, can I have 1 anxiety please?

yes, here is a baby oarfish

imaramennoodle

that’s a BABY?

boy howdy are you in for a treat! introducing, the Oarfish!

MA! THERE’S A WEIRD FUCKING FISH!

Not much is known about Oarfish. Their maximum length is debatable, though there are reports of specimen up to 56 ft long. They live at great depths, and are rarely observed alive. Here’s a relatively small one:

Slightly larger one:

aaaaand, little bigger:

Yeah. these children get long. hold on a mo’, i might have a better photo

yeah. there we go. a few hundred lbs of Oarfish. like i said, length-variable. that one’s only about 28 feet though. so like, imagine that but double.

look how excited everyone is. well, everyone but the fish. oh, fun fact! they can self-amputate up to 3/4th of their body. lizard style.

Historically, Oarfish have been described as sea serpents, and are probably responsible for a fair portion of myths. In Japanese folklore, their appearance portends earthquakes. Though rarely seen, Oarfish live in every ocean. All around the world. Everywhere. No matter what coastline you’re on, they’re always there. Just a few thousand feet below water. Waiting.

Watching.

flowerbleedme

JESUS THAT WAS MORE THAN 1 ANXIETY

I AM A WHOLESALE PROVIDER

…when they self-amputate their lower bodies, do you think it just keeps wiggling around down there like a 42-foot-long dismembered lizard tail?

not my circus not my monkeys but the clowns....the clowns are beckoning to me

sarpedan

Be careful Gaud, they might want you to do another customer satisfaction survey of your dreams

oh yeah, the ones who were hunting me down that one time! they finally caught up to me before I woke up, turns out they wanted to hand me a brochure on How To Unionize Your Workplace

neneloafsune

Dude what are your dreams

ok see i know im considered "weird" and "quirky" and "in an uncommitted situationship with reality," but i straight up refuse to believe the vast majority of people haven't had a "Chased By A Clown Monster" dream. That's right up there with "Your Teeth Are Suddenly Loose" and "Arguing With A Parent In A Car." baseline nightmare

sarpedan

Ronald McDonald wanting to turn me into a bunch of burgers was my recurring clownmare

yeah yeah we've all had the Ronald McDonald Nightmare

give me anxiety about basking sharks

they make the THX noise

yes we all know about medieval jesters waging psychological warfare in times of combat, but wait there’s more!

at the beginning of battles they would ride in on horseback, juggling swords or lances, and taunt & bait the opposition. soldiers would get so angry they would break rank & weaken formations just to try to kill the fool

notdingalingalingalingrita

i should also mention that a female jester was referred to as a “joculatrix,” thank you that is all

PLEASE GIVE ME FRUSTRATED KNIGHT X AMUSED JESTER WHOS TAKEN AN INTEREST IN TAUNTING THEM ESPECIALLY

ART PROMPT

sidhewrites

What if we were both opposite side of a war, and u wouldn’t stop mocking me specifically before we went to battle, and we were both girls?

so important to remember coconut curry exists

Basic Coconut Curry

dice and sautee a bunch of (red or white) onions, garlic, & ginger

add choice of protein

add choice of veggies

add broth, coconut milk, and curry spice mix

cook on low heat 20 min

add sugar, salt, pepper, and lime juice (optional)

serve with rice or flatbread

BOOM. curry. never kill yourself

ikebanaka

This is almost exactly how I make it, but if you wanna add some extra oomph without getting too fancy, I also toast the curry spice mix in sesame oil before adding the coconut milk. Toast it until it looks like the spice mix is excreting its own oil, add and mix in a bit of water and then wait for it to evaporate, and repeat that once or twice. Takes about 5 minutes and deepens the flavor a bit if you wanna try it. I think it's called blooming the spices?

we gotta get back into revolving bookcases i'm begging

truly we allow the pinnacles of human achievement to wither and collapse into ashes in the wind

anablepsian

These are the most fuckable bookshelves I’ve ever seen

i am delighted to inform you that wild bears seeking out and swinging on hammocks is in fact a fairly common occurrence!

thanks to @fandomislife03 for this extremely important information:

#as somebody born and raised in black bear country this is accurate #theyre also fond of backyard playgrounds

UPDATE: they also do this with backyard swimming pools

(and yes, same applies to kiddie pools)

oh 10/10 tags:

#The mama bear we have around here in the summer knows what she's doing#she stretches out in the sun under the fruit trees#and sends her cubs up the trees to throw fruit down to her

uh oh forgot to take the Pill That Makes Me Sane

lotta people in the notes also forgot to take the Pill That Makes You Sane...

sleepyyys-art-n-stuff

I read this as "The Pill That Makes You Santa" and had a long puzzled sit on what that would mean.

TESTOSTERONE??????

everyone jokes about the pope's hat but most people don't know it actually serves an important purpose! evolutionary threat display to assert dominance against rival bishops

now you might think THIS is a plummage mating display

but popes are bred to aggressively seek territory and hierarchical power, not potential mates. so anytime you see something like this, it's still very much a standard threat display

hairbrainedprojects

Common misconception, but popes are not bred. Rather, like the matriarchy of clownfish, when a pope dies, the strongest of the bishops takes his place

actually it's more akin to a hive (with strict gender-based hierarchical work division) where larval bishops are fed queen jelly, prompting their transformation into pseudo-popes, at which point they are left to death battle it out winner takes all

i-dont-think-thats-true

I don’t think that’s true

no it's true i checked

stev-bird-from-egypt

I was actually raised catholic so I know this one! The larval bishops when fed queen jelly aren't called pseudo-popes. They're actually called Cardinals, and once the death battle ends, they send up colored smoke as they go into cocoons to finish their transformation into Pope to signal to the hive drone priests that a new Pope has emerged!

Hey. Things are going to get better.

You cannot prevent it.

Yes I am threatening you with a good time.

Have A Good Day, Bitch

they seriously expected us to worship cops & soldiers when street cleaners and sanitation workers exist? fuck off i know who my heroes are

beardedmrbean

vivian-the-barbarian

@uwathebestgirl

the-eldritch-angel

I think this one speaks for itself

idk if this is an usamerican thing or not but it always blows my mind as a small european country resident that yall have many names and types of apples???? what do you mean its not just red yellow or green??? why is it so complicated??? who is granny smith????

'whats your favorite apple' 'red' 'no i mean like what type' '??????' actual conversatiom i've had with a mutual from usa

THIRTY TWO??????

phillyphillyphilly

Listen that doesn’t even account for all the weird shit local farmers are getting up to.

May I present the best apple:

the world is so big and beautiful

shutyourmoustache

Making exercises more accessible to the disabled? Fuck yeah!

War returned without any official announcement!

Death and shelling and casualties everywhere, and the mutilated bodies of children, and the evacuation and destruction of homes and the displacement of entire residential areas. Reconnaissance and combat aircraft and helicopters all the time, and targets in the streets and markets and the expansion of control zones.

Feelings of fear and anxiety.. and the terror of children returned quickly, after we had at least been in some kind of safety and calm, believing that all this had passed and ended.

All of this happens in silence, without announcement, without labels of "military operations" or "return of war," without statements.. and quietly.. without intervention or attempts or statements or pressures.

And thus we are left alone.. abandoned, being slaughtered, and the scene itself not even broadcast on screens because there are things more important.

Here is my brother PayPal account

WE APPRECIATE ANY HELP YOU GUYS CAN DO 🫶🏼🙏

Go to paypal.me/bushrabo and type in the amount. Since it’s PayPal, it's easy and secure. Don’t have a PayPal account? No worries.

First day of June done without any donations 🫶🏼

Third day of the month we are up 30$ / 700$

The world forgot gaza every day the idf bombs and killing innocent people in gaza 😭💔