Hi all, first time making a post like this in-depth. Basically, good news, and desperate news.
Good news: I finally have seemingly stable work and the means to provide for myself and my share of living costs.
Bad news: the time it has taken to reach this position has landed me about $300 still in the negative, and about $3,000 owed to my roommates for their generosity, just to balance the books out.
My roommates have been very kind to me, but we're all getting frustrated with the difficulties I've faced catching up financially.
If you'd like to help make things right for me and for them, my CashApp and Venmo details are as follows:
[ID: The official art of Bucky Applebees from Fantasy High: Junior Year, showing an open 3-ring binder. In the binder on the left is a drawing of Bucky waving and smiling awkwardly. On the right is a piece of lined paper that reads: "Bucky Applebees (he/him) Kristen's Younger Sibling."
The second image is zoomed in on the writing that reads: "Kristen's Younger Sibling."]
[ID: Several different photos of cats and kittens with technology from the 90s. Most of them are with clunky desktop computers, but some are pictured with game consoles, laptops, and portable CD players. /end ID]
Bucky Applebees, eventually, starts following Kristen's advice. He does the scary thing, he learns he doesn't have to be scared. Rinse and repeat. He leans into the unknown, the drop-off into deeper waters. His smites glow less golden and more silvery. He sends a quick prayer to Cassandra before trying something new.
He starts to spend time with his adventuring part, for real. They are loud and kind and willing to teach him what he wasn't allowed to learn. They have study sessions and slumber parties. They give each other makeovers with nail polish and hairbands and cheap makeup. (Bucky takes it off before going home.)
They call Bucky "Bee," short for both his first name and last. They don't say anything when he starts wearing the clothes Kristen left behind. It's mostly tie-dye and sweatshirts, anyway.
They let Bee find herself at her own pace. It's slow at first, breaking down the lifetime of fear, and then the dam bursts. She stops asking why and starts existing, lets some things be unknown.
She reads books about The Nightmare King, and the Church of Cassandra blog Kristen started. She sees herself in the story. An angry, terrifying being, isolated. Making a real connection and being given a name. Becoming calmer, fiercer, more herself.
The summer before sophomore year, she shows up at Mordred. She sees Kristen's room, Cassandra's chapel. She whispers a prayer and the altar flickers with starlight.
They sit on Kristen's bed and Bee talks quickly and quietly.
"I don't want to be there anymore. I can't be anything other than your sister."
And Kristen, the girl she looks up to more than any other, smiles.
Look. I'm just gonna say it. This may be all denial of me, but until directly said otherwise, I'm choosing to believe that Kipperlilly was brought back alongside the rest of the Rat Grinders.
Only she was willing. She remembers everything she did. Remembers every choice she made, every back she stabbed for a plan that never came into being.
And that's why we don't see her.
(And why would they ever see her? The bad kids, her friends, Lucy, who she was 'most fond of'. Her instinct, as we've been shown, has always been to hide. Why would this be any different?)
sometimes all u need to do is take one second to say "(yeah this is a bit)" if someone is genuinely asking because they genuinely can't tell, and then you can continue with the bit. i just feel like refusing to acknowledge someone saying "i cant tell if youre joking or not" and you just continue, or even say, "im not joking" then you're not being very funny, you're just being kind of mean, i think.
obviously there is nuance to this and if you know someone really well sometimes going in harder on the bit will make them get that it's a bit and that's fine if you know them. but just be mindful, yknow? not everyone can pick up on stuff like that, and pushing harder on a bit by saying "im serious" when someone asks if you're joking or not can be harmful in some situations.
white cosmere fandom really is like “we feel empathy for systematically oppressed characters…. but only the ‘good ones’ who handle their trauma in a way that doesn’t make me feel uncomfortable and threaten my notions of correct forms of resistance”
[Video description: a man sits on a couch with a white cat next to him, being filmed by who is presumably his significant other, with a caption above the footage reading "Clearly forgot who he was sitting next to [laughing emoji]".
The person holding the camera asks "Who's the most beautiful girl in the room?" and the man readily responds "You." Right after he says this, the cat begins looking up at him and pawing at his arm. The camerawoman laughs and the man, looking startled and sheepish toward the camera, starts petting the cat. The camerawoman asks "Do you want to re-answer that?" End desc.]
for mae @maeples for @d20exchange! mae it was so so fun getting to write this for you!! | word count: 3k, read on ao3
1 - esther’s family
Ricky’s nervous about meeting her family. Esther notices as he stands next to her, one hand in hers and the other holding two bouquets for her mom and grandma. She’d asked if he wanted to let go of her hand to be able to hold the flowers better, but he’d refused. Ricky’s a big hand holder, which wasn’t much of a surprise but it was still a pleasant discovery. Now, his hand has started to grow sweaty as Esther knocks on her mom’s apartment door.
Technically, he’s already met them. More than once, even. Given, they were both in harpy mode at that point in time and while Ricky might’ve been someone she knew she could fall for given half a chance, she’d worked really hard not to mess up. And then she had - and now she’s here.
Esther turns to take Ricky in. He doesn’t get nervous, that’s not in the Mr. March m-o. He’s more than Mr. March, though, which she’s been learning bit by bit. Apparently, he does get nervous when the task at hand is meeting the in-laws. She’s already told him that her mom and grandma love him. It makes a good first impression to be found to be pure of heart by the Furies of Tompkins Square Park. She’s about to say something when her grandmother opens the door and pulls them inside, Ricky quickly wrangled onto Patricia’s arm.
“Oh Ricky, it’s so good Esther’s finally brought you by,” Patricia says. “And flowers too - oh you’re charming aren’t you?”
“Well,” Ricky says, slipping off his shoes which earns him a smile from her grandmother. “Thank you for having me in your home, Esther’s wonderful.”
Esther’s grandmother pats his shoulder, “Now Esther hasn’t brought anyone home before, but I’m sure if she had they wouldn’t have been as nice as you. Now in, in, let's let Gabriella get a look at you.”
Esther can feel herself smiling as she unlaces her boots and catches up after them, Ricky looks back at her for approval and she winks back. His head whips back, but she catches the first proper smile from him for the past hour and she counts that as a win.
Her mom is in the kitchen cooking. She had promised it would be small and simple, so of course she filled the entire table with food. Ricky beelines it to Gabriela’s side, offering to help right away. Esther knows better by now than to try to stop him, Ricky’s calling is to help others in all ways and at all times. She steps in when she needs to because no matter what Ricky says he can’t and shouldn’t do it all. But with the nervous energy that had been coming off him in waves, a task was probably exactly what he needed.
“I like him,” Her grandmother says, her voice full of approval. “We’re very happy you’ve finally given in to us and brought him by.”
“Don’t scare him off?” Esther asks. Her grandmother just smiles before walking over to her mom in the kitchen.
“Gabriela, look what Esther’s nice young man brought for us,” Patricia says, her voice full of delight as she puts the flowers in vases. Esther finds a vase back in her hands to be placed on the table as her mom and grandma coo some more over Ricky. It’s still strange, she thinks as she moves a dish to the side to make room for the flowers, to come home to the two of them and enter a space full of emotion.
It’s a different apartment than the one she lived in when she was a kid with her mom. That feels like forever ago, and in a way it was. That apartment, that apartment never had her grandmother. This whole experience has meant getting to know her grandmother for the first time as more than just a Fury of despair. That apartment always felt empty, she and her mom were always very aware of the tight latch they needed to have on their reactions and their feelings. Her dad tried his best to fill up the rest of the space, but it was too much for one person to carry.
Here, her mom and her grandma can fight over the stove without worrying about Gabriela losing it all. Here, Esther can remember what it was like growing up and can feel herself start to cry without needing to clamp it all down. Ricky pauses and comes over, pulling one of the tissues he keeps in his pockets for her out. She cries a lot now, Ricky never seems to mind, only ever being prepared to support her when she needs it. Esther grabs his hand and laughs.
“All good?” He asks her, his voice quiet as Patricia and Gabriela debate whether or not there’s enough food.
“I should be asking you that,” Esther says. “What do you think?”
Ricky shrugs, “Am I doing okay?”
Esther smiles and nods. Kisses his cheek. “Baby, you’re great. C’mon, let's get them to sit down and eat.”
She gets between her mom and grandmother, and with help from Ricky’s dazzling smile, they bring the last of the food over and sit down. There’s lots of shuffling and fussing as her mom and grandmother insist she and Ricky both add more to their plates. Esther gets the not eating enough spiel, and Ricky gets the oh you run around so much spiel. Ricky takes to it with ease and even asks for seconds after he finishes which makes her grandmother light up.
This wasn’t something any of them thought they would ever get. Esther’s so so grateful that she has, as Patricia and Gabriela start asking Ricky about his job, his parents - and Esther quickly redirects when they ask what he thinks of kids. By the time they finish eating, Ricky’s even been invited to temple by Patricia.
When they’re walking to the subway after, Esther tells him he doesn’t have to go. “We didn’t even go that often growing up - with, well everything, but they’ve been going more often since everything.”
Ricky shrugs, “I want to go, though. I liked coming over. I like being a part of your life.”
And, well, there’s nothing she can do but slide her arm around him and squeeze his side. Ricky kisses the top of her head and Esther doesn’t even mind being gross and sappy in public with him.
2 - ricky’s family
Ricky has way more family than she realized, is what she notices as they walk over to the bleachers behind the baseball diamond where a bunch of nine-year-olds are warming up for their little league game. Esther hadn’t even known he had a whole set of little cousins until he’d invited her to the game earlier in the week. She’d been half asleep as he was getting ready for work in the morning after sleeping over the night before, his invite casual and her agreement a quiet mhm as she burrowed under the covers, just her eyes uncovered to watch Ricky as he left, his laughing at her drowsiness on his way out.
This, more young kids in one space than Esther has ever had to be around since she was that size, is not what she realized she had signed herself up for. She’s met Ricky’s sister, Emiko, and has said hi to his parents when he’s facetimed them in the evening if she’s over at his or he’s over at hers, but now she’s meeting everyone. All at once. At a little league game.
“Hey,” Ricky says, squeezing her hand. She turns to look at him, sure she’s full deer-in headlights and he’s just smiling, fondly, back. “You’re a badass wizard, my family’s not gonna know what hit them.”
“See,” Esther replies. “What if they hate me?”
Ricky shakes his head, “Not possible, if I love you, they’ll love you.”
And that catches her off guard, the same way it always does. How Ricky’s always so giving with his love, it comes so easy to him. Esther just wants to give as much of it back as she can, which is why she lets herself let Ricky guide her to where a group of older women are gathered around fold-out chairs and a cooler. A kid runs by and is caught by one of them who makes him touch up his sunscreen and he looks a little bit like Ricky as he scrunches his nose and tries to wriggle out of the women's arms.
“Hey, is this what it was like for you growing up?” Esther asks, quietly as they approach.
Ricky’s beaming, “Yeah, awesome, right?”
It’s a lot. It does seem kind of great. It’s perfect for Ricky.
One of the women turns around, and Esther recognizes her. It’s Ricky’s mom.
“Ricky! And Esther - I’m so glad you both made it, come, come,” Ricky’s mom absorbs them both, checking over Ricky as if to confirm he’s all in one piece, before passing him over to the other woman. And then she’s hugging Esther and fussing over her too, as if she’s already decided that Esther’s welcome. The amount of love here is a little overwhelming.
Ricky squirms back to her side, still smiling wide, as he introduces aunt after aunt. Esther tries and fails to get all the names down and mostly smiles and nods and for the most part seems to find common ground with all of Ricky’s aunties over Ricky being the loveliest person on earth. Ricky’s mom makes her take a drink, and one of Ricky’s aunties tries to give her food and they sit her down in one of the folding chairs.
“Oh Esther, you need to eat more,” Ricky’s mom tells her.
“Mrs. Matsui I eat plenty!”
“Most of us are Mrs. Matsui - call me Hana.”
Esther nods, even though she knows she will not be doing that any time soon.
“How did you and Ricky meet again?” One of his aunts asks.
“Oh,” Esther says. She’s still not used to the meeting the family thing, even after the trial run with Emiko. And at least she’d run into Emiko a time or two when she’d stopped into the hospital to see Kingston before. “Well, he rescued me.”
The aunties coo, “Rescued you?”
Ricky’s smile looks so big that his face is going to split in two as he sets himself up next to her, “Her work caught on fire, and I was lucky enough to be on duty. And Esther’s saved me plenty of times since.”
“Okay, okay, that’s enough quizzing them.”
Esther turns around and there’s Emiko, a baseball cap on and a tote slung over her shoulder.
“Sorry I’m late,” Emiko says, she and Ricky have the same smile. “Shift ran late but - here!” Emiko pulls something out of her bag and tosses it at Ricky, who plucks it out of the air perfectly. Esther leans over to see a baseball mitt.
Ricky leaps up, pulling Esther with him and Emiko says her hellos to everyone before shooing them farther back to the grass. Emiko pats her back as she slides on her mitt, “How are you holding up, meeting everyone?”
“There are so many of you,” is all Esther’s got.
Emiko and Ricky both laugh.
“There are way more of us,” Emiko says, “This is just parents and a handful of the eight-to-nine-year-olds.”
“Pretty great, isn’t it?” Ricky says. “Always enough of us for a pickup game of anything.”
And that’s how Ricky and Emiko start teaching her how to throw a baseball. Most people assume she’s somewhat familiar with the sport, Esther’s been told before that she has major softball lesbian vibes. The thing is though, her preferred forms of exercise have always been solitary like going for a run and, recently, taking Ox for a walk.
Esther isn’t very good. Ricky and Emiko have no hesitation in diving or running back and jumping when Esther throws it too short or too long, and Esther ends up spending plenty of time jogging back for the ball when she fails to catch it, but they both seem to be having fun coaching her along. She was just starting to get a little bit better at the whole thing when one of the kids that had been running around Ricky and Emiko’s aunties came up and started tugging at Ricky’s arm.
Ricky squats down, talking quietly to the kid as Esther walks over with the ball after fetching it again. He looks up as she heads over, “Esther, this is my cousin Mariko. Mariko, this is my girlfriend Esther.”
Mariko hides behind Ricky but pokes her head out to flash a hesitant, toothy smile. Esther smiles back, “Hi Mariko, nice to meet you.” She offers Mariko her hand, and Mariko shakes it carefully.
“You’re really pretty to be dating Ricky,” Mariko tells her. “Now can I steal him? I want to practice.”
Esther laughs, “Yeah of course, just don’t forget to return him.”
Mariko nods very seriously and then she and Ricky are setting up to throw a ball back and forth. Esther shuffles over to Emiko’s side as they watch. “She’s way better than me,” Esther tells Emiko.
“Don’t compare yourself to Mariko,” Emiko tells her. “She’s playing an age group up she’s so good.”
Eventually, they end up on the bleachers as the game starts. All of Ricky’s family cheers loudly every time one of the three Matsui’s - two boys and one girl - on the team fields the ball or steps up to bat. Mariko’s a pitcher and she’s an absolute rockstar, just like Emiko said she was. Esther cheers along with all of them and this…it makes so much sense that this is where Ricky came from.
He hops up next to her, passing her an ice pop. Esther raises an eyebrow. “It’s a baseball classic,” Ricky says. Esther takes it as is as she leans against him, Ricky doesn’t miss a beat as he wraps his arm around her shoulders.
"Selfie?" Ricky asks. Esther laughs and smiles for his selfie.
3 - their family
Ricky’s situated on the couch as she opens the door to let in her mom and grandmother. Patricia and Gabriela both have their arms full of food and little gifts as they try to peek over Esther’s shoulder to catch a glimpse. Esther waves them off as she takes things from them, “Be patient, I’m not keeping you from them. We invited you over to see her.”
Gabriela sighs, slipping her shoes off and past Esther, making her way straight to Ricky. “Esther, baby, I love you but you should know better than to keep a grandmother from this beautiful baby girl.” Patricia laughs and helps Esther carry everything over.
“You’re mother’s right, you know,” Patricia says. “You and Ricky make a beautiful baby.”
Esther blinks. “Sure, we aren’t making anymore anytime soon though. Alejandra’s just perfect.”
“Can’t argue with that,” Her grandmother says, smiling warmly.
The bell rings again just as her mom and grandmother get settled on either side of Ricky, both eager to hold Alejandra. Esther can’t blame them, next to Ricky with Alejandra in her arms has quickly become Esther’s favourite state of being.
When she gets to the door Ricky’s parents and Emiko are waiting with more food and gifts. Esther tells them it’s too much and they ignore her. Ricky’s mom is quick to get her to sit down and insists she eats as Ricky’s dad and Esther’s mom start trying to compete for favourite grandparent.
“Do you think they realize Alejandra is too young for favourites?” Esther asks Emiko, who’s sitting in the chair next to her.
“You got to start early,” Emiko tells her. “For example, I’m ready to be the favourite aunt.”
Esther laughs and Alejandra laughs with her. Alejandra loves to laugh and smile, and its everything Esther never let herself dream for. She’s the happiest baby Esther’s ever met, even if the only other babies she knows are Cat and Langston and Ricky’s cousins' kids.
All she hopes is that Alejandra is always this happy. Ricky looks up at her from where he’d been smiling over at Alejandra in his dad’s arms and she can tell he’s thinking the same thing.
Everyone gets a turn with the baby, and Emiko gets Ricky to pose with her and Alejandra in the matching baseball caps she brought the two of them.
“You make a beautiful baby,” Ricky’s mom tells her when she gets a chance to hold Alejandra, echoing what her grandmother had said earlier.
Esther can’t stop smiling. They really do.
Esther’s exhausted on the couch as Ricky collapses next to her after everyone leaves. She happily hands off their beautiful baby girl into her arms and lets herself slide into Ricky’s side.
“I love you,” Ricky says.
“Me or the baby?”
“Both, so much,” Ricky says. He turns his head and she leans up to meet him in a kiss before sliding back into his arm.
“Love you too, baby.” Esther says. “Pass Alejandra?”
Ricky hands Alejandra over and they watch her, quietly. They’ve spent an insane amount of time since they came home with her just sitting and watching her. She’s sleeping, exhausted from all her visitors. Alejandra is so little, Esther can hardly believe it. She’s in a little dinosaur jumper that Ricky’s mom Hana got them when they told her they were expecting. And she has a little knit hat that Esther’s grandmother Patricia learned how to knit just to make her.
“How’d we get this?” Ricky asks, his voice coloured with awe.
“Magic?” Esther guesses.
“Sounds about right,” Ricky says.
Alejandra blows bubbles in her sleep and Esther pulls her even closer to her. She doesn’t ever want to let go, and neither does Ricky seem to want to as he pulls them both towards him. Esther lets her eyes close as she rests her head back against his chest and syncs her breath up with his.
[ID: A digital drawing of Sofia and Esther from The Unsleeping City. They are drawn from the waist up, smiling at each other. Sofia has her arm around Esther's shoulders. Sofia is dressed in a white fur coat, a black top, and a leopard print skirt. Esther is dressed in a blue crop-top, a dark blue winter coat, and black pants. There are falling snowflakes in the background. End ID.]
my @d20exchange gift for @zestoflemon :') !! some of your tuc faves for you <3 hope you enjoy it
i need to eat a food. none of the food in the house is The Right Food. what is the right food? only god knows. and we're not on speaking terms right now.
mae. Mae. I feel like a bloodied squire delivering news to an old comrade but did you hear kimmalyn confirmed dyke in latest skyward book? though we are retired from the war this feels a notable triumph my liege
AKSJS THE WAY I SAW YOUR TAGS ON MY ART AND NOT THIS ASK FIRST!!!!!! WE DID IT. my g-d we did it. canon dyke kimmalyn
[ID: A drawing of a woman and child standing in front of several large shelves full of menorahs.
The woman has her long hair pulled into a red headscarf, and she is looking at the shelves from the side, smiling. She has on a long-sleeved light blue top and a brown skirt. The child is wearing a kippah and has short, curly brown hair. They are facing the shelves fully, with one hand reaching towards the menorahs. They have on a dark blue long sleeved shirt and brown pants. The menorahs on the shelves are in a variety of fun designs, ranging from more traditional ones to one with all the candles going up in curved steps, a dinosaur menorah, one that looks like a cornucopia, a duck menorah, a couple that look like trees, and more. /end ID.]
How do I petition congress to pass legislation regulating headlights
LEDs are illegal, especially ones that flicker, that shit is so fucking distracting and triggers my migraines.
There will be a max color temperature headlights can be; aka, they will only be allowed to be warm colors, aka, white and blue fucking headlights will be illegal.
There will be a maximum lumens level set for regular night headlights. I refuse to be blinded.
romaincrisis
stormborns
baratheonpilled
snowghoul
2087
jbbartram-illu
titsay
annaxmalina
