I've been re-watching Good Omens before season 3 comes out/the special thingy they're doing(idk if this shit can be fixed in 90 minutes), and I dont think I ever realized just how strong Aziraphale's religious trauma really is. I know im probably late to the party on this, definitely due to me not being religious, but I have thoughts dammit.
How he thought he was going to Hell just for lying, lying for the benefit of others, and he still thought he deserved eternal torment for it, yet as time goes on, he lies just a little bit more day by day, how the first time he eats food, he's concerned he might get in trouble for it, yet as he grows older, one might say, distancing himself from Heaven, he becomes a complete foodie. When Crowley kisses him, instead of saying, "I Love you," he says, "I Forgive you." Because for him, Forgiveness is as close as Heaven gets to Love.
What I'm saying is that Aziraphale is comparable to someone growing up with full faith in the church/Christianity, yet day by day, he separates from it because the person he Loves helps him grow and learn. Yet, after a falling out, Aziraphale still runs back due to its constant being there, rationalizing it as,"If I come back and get to be in charge, I could change things." Failing to realize he's suppressing himself as much if not more as what he was before he separated himself from Heaven. He's becoming a depressed repressed version of himself because he still wants to believe that maybe Heaven can still "Forgive" him. And maybe others.
Im not religious, I have no experience with religion, especially Christianity, and this could be complete word vomit or miss the mark by a long shot. But I had thoughts and and to put them SOMEWHERE.
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