A very THEATRICAL blog tour
[Scene]
Darkness at first. As the lights slowly come up, we see the stage is empty. No set, no backdrops, just the bare boards of the stage and the black-painted back wall of the theatre – even the closed loading dock doors.
The lights soften as MAGGIE appears: first peering around the side of the stage, then taking a tentative step into the light.
Maggie: Hello.
She pauses, frowns, then waves and walks towards the middle of the stage.
Maggie (cont): Can you hear me okay? They asked if I wanted a microphone, but I have really bad microphone juju and I break them. Not on purpose. It just happens. (a beat) So. This is nice, right? Welcome to the Earl’s Theatre. I don’t know if you’ve been here before, but I’ve spent a lot of time here. A lot. (nodding) Looooots of time.
Offstage, a crashing sound. Something heavy being dropped.
Voice 1: (off) Sorry!
Maggie ignores it, walks to the front apron of the stage.
Maggie: I’m going to sit down. (Sits, feet dangling over the edge of the stage.)
She looks out into the auditorium.
Maggie: Here’s the thing. I love theatre. I always have. And I don’t just mean (makes air quotes) “THEATRE”, I mean… (patting the stage either side of her) actual theatres. I love the buildings, and I love what happens in them. I love the stories that come with them, and the people who make those stories come to life.
Offstage, another crash.
Voice 2: (off) Sorry!
Maggie: Mmm. Where was I? (beat) Yes. Theatres. The thing I love most of all about theatres is that they can be anything. Be anywhere. Theatre has the power to transport us. To take us into other people’s worlds, other people’s lives. Theatre can carry us off across oceans –
She snaps her fingers; waits. Nothing happens. She tries again.
A backcloth drops from above, hiding the back of the stage: the deck of an old-fashioned ocean liner. The sound of waves. A seagull cry. A sudden blast on a ship’s horn. The smell of the sea.
Maggie: (cont) or they can whisk us away to fantasy lands.
She snaps her fingers again. Another backcloth drops, this time the walls of a castle. The distant sound of hooves thundering across grass, lances clashing, cheers. The smell of flowers and crushed grass.
A KNIGHT in full armour strolls across the stage, his helmet under his arm, whistling.
Voice 1: (off) No whistling in the theatre! It’s bad luck.
The Knight pauses, shakes his head, then strides off again in the direction of the voice.
Maggie: (cont) Newspaper offices, schools, factories, palaces – even the past… the theatre can take you anywhere you want to go.
With each place she mentions, she snaps her fingers and a new backcloth showing that location drops until she reaches ‘the past’, which is just the castle again.
Maggie: (side-eyeing the castle) Really?
The castle is replaced with a new backdrop showing a large clock.
Maggie: Fair enough. (beat) And at the end of the show, when the lights come up, they bring you right back here. You don’t even have to leave your seat.
All backdrops rise back up out of sight, leaving the stage bare again.
Maggie: (standing) Just like the theatre, we’d like to take you on a tour – and you won’t have to leave your seat for this one either. To celebrate the UK and Ireland publication of Theatrical…
A two-metre high copy of Theatrical is wheeled on from the wings. It is, of course, gorgeous.
Maggie: (with a flourish) Taa-daa! (beat) To celebrate the publication of Theatrical, Usborne and I would like to invite you on our very special, 30 day blog tour. Over the next month, we will be dropping in on our lovely host bloggers to share the theatre love. We’ll be talking about what makes theatre special to us, favourite shows, favourite actors, favourite theatre moments and experiences… and we’d like you to join in too.
(Gesturing to the auditorium)
Maggie: (cont) Has a show carried you away somewhere memorable? Is there a theatrical world you wish you could live in?
(A burst of the Harry Potter & the Cursed Child music plays in the background. Maggie looks startled.)
Maggie: (mumbling) I just really want one of the swooshy cloaks, okay?
(The music stops)
Maggie: (cont) But perhaps the most important thing about theatre is that it’s for everyone. If you’ve seen an amazing show, or you’re thinking of going to see something, we want to hear about it. Share your favourite #Theatrical moments with us - even better, tag the theatres; the actors, directors, writers and crew too. It takes passion, talent and a lot of hard work to put on a production: let them – and us – know you loved their work.
(She moves to the front of the stage)
We want to make this a celebration of theatre and the people who make it - just like the book - so if you see something and you love it, make some noise about it and we can keep the conversation going.
(The lights begin to fade, slowly)
Maggie: (cont) I’m so excited to hear your stories, and share a few more of my own along the way. So whatever you’re seeing, wherever you’re going… whether you’re a theatre-going veteran or it’s your first visit – stay tuned… (getting louder) and let’s make this the most Theatrical month ever.
(She ends by throwing her arms out.)
(A beat.)
Maggie: (stage whisper) Guys? The lights?
Voice 1: Sorry!
Voice 2: Sorry!
(Blackout)
