i keep track of every time i cry and i haven't been able to fill in my spreadsheet since my cat died. reading all the reasons since then is making me relive it so i'm honestly glad i waited. but i'm also glad to get to spend some more time with her in a way?
oh also realised i'm so lucky i saw hamnet a month before she died. i already cried harder during that film than probably any other, i can't even imagine what seeing it with fresh grief would be like...


















