Can you forget that you’re a concierge for a minute and tell me where I can get some weed?
anon submission from another poor concierge #soulsisters #maybebrothers #idk

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@mahaloformytime
Can you forget that you’re a concierge for a minute and tell me where I can get some weed?
anon submission from another poor concierge #soulsisters #maybebrothers #idk
‘MERICA
Guest: Is there an outdoor gun range in Honolulu?
Concierge: There is one but it's used by people who live here who bring their own guns.
Guest: Do you have guns we can borrow?
Concierge: hahaha, guns you can borrow... right (thinks guest is joking.)
Guest: (blank stare)
Guest: Does the hotel have gun rentals so we can rent them?
Concierge: Oh... God no we do not rent guns. No. No gun rentals...
Guest: We thought because america...
Concierge: No.
LOSING MY MIND OVER HERE
Guest: Is there a Hilton restaurant?
Concierge: There's like 15 places to eat on property which one are you looking for?
Guest: The Hilton one
Concierge: Ok this is the Hilton, its a 22 acre property. Which restaurant are you looking for? They all have names.
Guest: The one run by the Hilton hotel
Concierge: (circles all places on a map) Here you go.
Guest: Ok but which one is the Hilton one?
A baby Goat is called a kid. Lady... you have a kid. (Submission from another tortured concierge) Guest: is it okay for my baby to eat my Lei? (Baby is ripping orchid pedals off the lei slowly eating them) Concierge: I don’t think your baby should be eating that... Guest: Okay, that’s fine…are they toxic? Concierge: No. They are not toxic but that’s definitely not safe for her to be eating. (lei hangs from baby’s mouth like a puppy holding a chew toy, drool runs down its chin) Baby: nom nom nom Guest: well. It must be tasty if she keeps eating them…how do u know they’re not toxic? Concierge: Well I suppose if you were scared in the first place, you wouldn't be letting her eat the lei? Guest: They’re probably not toxic since she seems fine. Never mind! (Guest walks away) Concierge: Sure thing.
We don't know how GPS works, we are from Canada.
Clueless Canadian Guest
Take a bath or something I don’t know
Guest: Where is there a pool with no people?
Concierge: Well these are the pools we have on property (circles multiple pools on map)
Guest: Yeah that's great, I went to all those pools and there were people though. I'd like one without people.
Concierge: I... um, these are the only pools we have. We have other people staying at this resort so there will always be people at the pool if its open.
Guest: Ok, well where is your manager? I don't think I should have to deal with all these people at the pool
Concierge: Sorry? Manager is over there...
Huh?
Guest: GRAND TOUR
Concierge: I'm sorry, do you have a question?
Guest: GRAND TOUR
Concierge: Are you asking about tours and activities?
Guest: GRAND TOUR
Concierge: I understand that part but are you looking for one? Is that a question? Or are you telling me you had a grand tour?
Guest: THE GRAND TOUR
Concierge: (Circles activities desk on map)
Guest: OK THANK YOU
I will not carry you over there
Guest: Where can we get a good acai bowl?
Concierge: We have a place right here around the corner from my desk by the pool that serves really good ones! (circles it on map)
Guest: Ok, is there anything closer?
Concierge: (looks over at the corner where juice place is) Ummm... it's right there. (points to it)
Guest: So... nothing closer then?
Concierge: Sorry I don't have a blender at my desk.
Guest: Alright we'll go over there then
Sh*t
That moment when you're so tried that you try and say "you're welcome" but in your head its "no problem" and it comes out "your problem". Sh*t
Welcome back to 1844
Guest: Where is the telegraph office?
Concierge: Are you looking for the business center?
Guest: No, I need the telegraph office...
Concierge: Are you a time traveler? (serious face)
Guest: (confused face)
(staring contest)
Guest: So, where is the telegraph office?
Concierge: (circles business center on the map) Here you go
Happy Halloween!
Guest: For this whale watching tour do I need a costume?
Concierge: Uh... costume?
Guest: Yes, do I need to bring a costume?
Concierge: Well, it's not October so...
Guest: What does October mean?
Concierge: Well in the month of October we have Halloween and we wear... costumes.
Guest: A COSTUME, A COSTUME, YOU KNOW TO SWIMMMMM IN.
Concierge: I don't advise swimming in a costume.
Guest: A COSTUME, YOU KNOW, BATHING CLOTHES. BATH COSTUME.
Concierge: Are you referring to a bathing suit?
Guest: Yes, sure whatever.
Concierge: No you do not need a bathing suit for a whale watching tour.
Guest: (Rolls eyes and stomps off)
I'd like to give an Oscar to the lady who dramatically complained for 5 minutes about the placement of the bathrooms within the resort.
Sky diving request from a guest. We can't even make this stuff up.
Lost In Translation
Guest: Sitimat papa
Concierge: Excuse me?
Guest: Sitimat papa?
Concierge: I have no idea what you are asking me for...
Guest: Siti. Mat. Papa.
Concierge: City map paper?
Guest: Siti map pamlot
Concierge: Pamphlet?
Guest: OK!
Talented Dolphins
Guest: Hi, I would like to set up some jet skiing with dolphins for my daughter
Concierge: Did you want to do jet skiing then swim with dolphins on the same day?
Guest: No, she wants to jet ski with the dolphins
Concierge: Dolphins can not use a jet ski...
Guest: Oh, right. Well can she jet ski next to a dolphin?
Concierge: I don't think that can be done, we try to keep our waters dolphin safe. If she wants to swim with dolphins we have sea life park. They have a dolphin swim program you can sign up for.
Guest: Do they have jet skis there?
Concierge: ...
I Literally Can't Even
Guest: Can you tell me about the Jurassic Park tour?
Concierge: Sure thing, they do tours of where they filmed the movies. I have not done it personally but I've heard good things about it.
Guest: So, it's like a Jurassic park thing? There's a tour through it?
Concierge: Yes you can see where they filmed the movies.
Guest: So... is it like, the dinosaurs?
Concierge: It's where they filmed the movies, about the dinosaurs.
Guest: Do they come up to you?
Concierge: Excuse me?
Guest: Where the dinosaurs are, do they come up to you?
Concierge: There's no dinosaurs...
Guest: I wanted to go one the one where the dinosaurs come up to the vehicles. What tour is that one?
Concierge: ... There are no dinosaurs, they have been extinct for a long time.
Guest: oh.
R.I.P
Guest: What time will it stop raining? Concierge: (crawls under desk and dies)