Warnings: kinda an open ending, sick!reader (pancreas problems), a little bit of cursing, sad topics T_T Might contain a certain spoiler about Dabiâs past.
Summary: based on the story âI want to eat your pancreasâ but with my own twists here and there. You were sick and Dabi was able to manage you just fine. He was not the caring type, but maybe he changed a little because of you. Teenager! Dabi and teenager! Reader. (Honestly I really recommend you read the light novel of I want to eat your pancreas, cuz holy shit that thing made me feel so many emotions at once)
âItâs your fault for finding my diary, I didnât tell you to pick it upâ, you said as you were happily walking behind Touya while he clearly told you to stop following him. âI mean who does that? Opening the diary of a stranger? You must have been pretty curious, hm.â
âI opened it because I had to find to owner, no more to the story. And why are you still following me? Itâs been three weeks since that incident, get over itâ, Touya said annoyed.
âBecause, my dear Dabiâ, you said as you quickened your steps so that you were in front of him, walking backwards with your face pointing his way. âYou were the one that found my diary AND youâre the only one who doesnât give a shit that Iâm dying.â
âFirst of all, I told you not to call me Dabi anymore and second of all, why are you happy that I donât care about your death? Arenât you like, supposed to be sad about that?â
âAh dear Dabiâ, you said again, to work on his nerves, âyou do not understand the brain of a dying person.â
Ever since you found out he had a nickname for his online games, you decided to call him by that name whenever you tried to annoy him. He told you not to use it, but if he really hated it that much, he could have put effort onto stopping you. But he didnât.
âI thought you had pancreas problems, not brain damageâ, he said. You werenât sure if he was being serious or not, but you being you, you didnât really care about that stuff. You just spoke your mind.
âI mean, my brain does hurt ever since I met you, but my pancreas is really the one with issuesâ, you said.
Your first encounter with Touya was in school. Though both of you never really said anything to each other you did see each other quite often. Your real encounter, the one that made both of you talk to each other, was the one in the hospital. You had left your diary on a seat and Touya had picked it up. Because he wanted to know who it belonged to, he had read a part of your story. A story that was only meant for you to read and for otherâs to see after your death. A kind of gift you wanted to leave behind for your loved ones.
Ever since then you just kind of stuck to him, not caring what others might think. You had a bubbly personality anyways, people would just assume it was you being nice again. You realized that he didnât treat you any different ever since he got to know your truth that you had been hiding, the fact you were slowly dying because of your pancreas. And because of that realization you just knew he would be the perfect person to be around with. He didnât really liked your company all the time and he wasnât ashamed to tell you, but he never shut you out meaning he probably didnât mind your presence that much.
âFunny. You know what would be more fun, if you actually left me aloneâ, he said as he grabbed you by the shoulders and lightly pushed you aside. He quickened his steps and tried to get rid of you. But you were a dedicated person and you would get what you wanted.
âDo you have plans for Saturday?â, you boldly asked.
âBesides reading, noâ, he casually answered as you kept walking behind him. You had noticed that he had started walking faster, so you also spend up .
You took a small sprint so that you were walking in front of him again. You stopped walking and turned around. When you did that he stopped in track, looking confused at you. You raised both eyebrows and laughed. He hadnât caught on and it was pretty funny to see that. âThat means youâre free to hang with me, am I correct?â
You knew he couldnât lie for his life, and that he couldnât make up an excuse to not spend a day with you. His face scrunched when he realized he had fallen in your trap. You started laughing loudly. âIâll meet you at the station at 1 p.m. Be on time, you wouldnât want to make a girl wait now do you?â
He shook his head while closing his eyes. You could tell he wasnât the happiest about it, because in the end you had stolen his free day. He was the type of person to not be that active. He didnât like doing stuff, or going out. He liked to spend his days inside with a book or by playing games. Even while playing his games he wasnât interested in teaming up with others so he always played solo. You laughed at him for it, but he called it independence.
He let out a sigh as he walked past you. âDonât forget! You refused to give me your number so I wonât be able to remind you through text!â
He stopped walking and took his bag off of his shoulder. He opened his bag, but you werenât able to see what he was doing. He zipped his bag closed and threw it over his shoulder. He walked in your direction as you tilted your head to the side, looking questionable. When he was in front of you he stuck a sticky note on your forehead. Without saying another word he turned around and left.
You took the sticky note and read what was on there. It was his number. You knew he wouldnât forget about the so called date, but he still gave you his number meaning he probably enjoyed your presence. âDabi Boy so cute!â You screamed to annoy him one last time.
âDonât call me that!â, he screamed in monotone, not even looking back.
You laughed to yourself as you looked at his phone number. you started jumping around while screaming a little bit, making some people turn their faces in your direction. But you didnât care, you were happy and the world could know this.
You excitedly saved his number on your phone and directly texted him.
âSick girl texting, bet this is Dabi Boy!â
âI will end your bloodline if you call me Dabi Boy again.â
âSo harsh Touya! That makes me sad.â
You didnât get a response, but you werenât really expecting one. He was the type of person to only text back when he really felt the need to, but in this situation it wasnât really necessary.
You were excited when Saturday arrived. You had texted Touya in the morning telling him youâd wait for him. But you being the problematic teenager that you were, came late on purpose. You could feel it, he would call you out for being late because you had told him to not make you wait.
You happily hopped your way towards Touya, who was sitting on a bench with a book in his hand. You plopped next to him and grabbed his arm to get his attention. âSo. Whatâs the planning?â, you asked.
âFirst of all, you are 20 minutes late and second of all you are the one that set the date so I was expecting you to make the planningâ, he said while trying to pull hiss arm away.
âAha! The answer I expected, but my dear Dabi, thatâs not the way to my heart. Try again next time. As for now, I did make a planning so youâll have to following meâ, you happily said.
Of course this wasnât a date to you guys. He knew this and so did you, thatâs why he didnât feel the need to answer on your remark. itâs not like he wasnât your type or that he wasnât interesting at all, it was just that you couldnât really attach yourself to someone when death was so near to you. Though it was hard, to not feel anything at all.
You allowed yourselves to enjoy today. From walking in the park to eating at an all you can eat restaurant and filling yourselves until you couldnât even walk anymore. You did everything to enjoy your day and looking at the fact that Touya wasnât complaining you were sure he was having at least a little bit fun.
âHmm, what about love interest? What is your type? Or what kind of girls do you fall for, if your interests are limited to girlsâ, you smugly said.
âNever thought about itâ, he just casually said as the both of you walked on the beach with your shoes in your hands.
âBoringâ, you sang. âIs there really no girl in class that you think is cute? Come on there has to be at least one person.
âI donât really pay attention to people I donât want to engage with. But if I really have to give you an answer, I do think you look cuteâ, he said without a pause in his sentence.
You felt your face heat up and even if he got at least a little bit embarrassed, he didnât show it at all. You acted like it didnât effect you and casually shook it off. âI mean of course you think Iâm cute, I look amazingâ, you said as you walked in front of him while cupping your face with your hands while you stared at him.
It wasnât really the best idea to be walking backwards with your instability. Before you knew it you were stumbling over your own feet, but before you could hit the ground Touya had you in his arms to stop you from falling.
You blinked twice, and again, and again. He did exactly the same, shocked about his fast reflexes. He pulled you up, but removed his hands from around your waist the moment you were stable on your both feet. He started walking without another word and cleared his throat.
âThank youâ, you muttered.
There was a long silence while the both of you walked. The sun was setting and you just silently followed behind him. He didnât slow down for you and you didnât speed up for him. You followed the steps he left in the sand and noticed how much bigger his feet were. A small laugh escaped your mouth and he confusingly turned around.
âWhat are you laughing aboutâ, he said. If a random person had told you that same sentence in that tone you would have taken it offensive, but because it was Touya talking you didnât take it serious.
âYour big toe really is⊠bigâ, you said.
He looked at you with a concerned look on his face and that made you laugh even more.
âI mean, thatâs why itâs called the big toe?â, he annoyingly said. âYou really search for the smallest details to make fun of me donât you?â
âWell itâs easy to annoy you and your reactions are always priceless. Plus youâre never really offended when I call you out for stuff, that makes it all the more enjoyable. To put it shortly, youâre just able to keep up with my bullshit.â
âGod, why must I have been the chosen one. She is crazyâ, he said while looking up.
You were quite shocked to see this reaction. He wasnât the type to say things like this in a sarcastic way. He wasnât even a person that used sarcasm. So when he said that he kinda just caught you off guard. âHe has chosen the words of sarcasmâ, you said as if it was a miracle. âYou make me prouder with every passing day.â
He looked you dead in the eye, but failed to keep a straight face. You could tell he showed a lot of emotions to you today. You finally understood how his raising eyebrows and slightly widening eyes meant he was excited about something, or how his face tilted up a bit when he had won an argument with you. You were proud to say that you were the reason behind all those expressions and you were happy to have experienced them with him.
You knew deep down that you actually liked him, but telling him would cause a problem. Besides the fact that it could ruin the friendship you had, it could also ruin the fact that he did not care about your death. It was a treasure you held. He was the only one that wouldnât get sad when your death was mentioned and he was the only one that didnât judge you for living this way. You didnât want to loose that. But yet in a way it felt like he didnât care at all. It felt like your death would mean absolutely nothing to him
He didnât say anything on that, because he felt the same. He never knew he needed this. He never knew that opening up would lead to him feelings things that not even his books could give him. He was just clueless to those feelings. Calling you cute, was nothing out of the ordinary for him, because for him it was just a fact that could be know, and a not a secret that should be held.
âOh, letâs watch the sunset thereâ, you pointed at a place on a rock that was hidden away from the public. He looked at you once before looking at that place. you started walking that way when you received a not of approval from him. âI bet itâll look amazingâ, you excitedly said. âItâs not everyday I get to watch the sunset with you.â
He didnât budge on your flirting attempt, but looking at his slight rosy cheeks told you you had succeeded in whatever it was that you were trying to get out of him.
The both of you sat on the rock with your face pointed to the view. It was beautiful and it was a good way to end the day. Reflecting on your day with him was something that made you smile. You were able to get the best out of him. The person that did not like taking pictures, allowed you to take selfies with him. The person that was so called emotionless had rosy cheeks when you failed at a flirting attempt. You had seen him smile and laugh. You seen the confusion on his face whenever he didnât understand something and it was heartwarming in your opinion, because he felt comfortable enough to show you all these emotions.
But here was something you had noticed. Something you had been thinking about, but never brought up. He didnât talk about you dying for even a little bit. Whenever you brought up the subject, he tried to shake it off. You were confused, but didnât question it. You were keeping a lot to yourself too so he probably had his reasons.
You tried to lay down on your back as you looked at the dark blue sky, stars almost visible, but just not yet. âHave you ever had your first kiss?â, you asked.
âPatheticâ, you said.
âDid you?â, he asked without looking at you.
âWell I wouldnât call you pathetic if I hadnât kissed beforeâ, you shrugged,âso yeah Iâve had my first kiss.â
He didnât respond to that. âWhy do you never talk about me dyingâ, you said.
He saw him tense up, but he didnât respond. perhaps he didnât feel the need to answer this, but you didnât like it. of course it was good that he wasnât feeling bad about it, but the least he could do was worry.
âI mean, itâs okey to talk about it from time to time, I donât really mind. I just hoped that you cared at least a little bit. I know I told you that I didnât like it when people got sad when they saw me, but I feel comfortable around you so I want you to at least care about me and my conditionâ, you said, in a soft voice.
You had never spoken this silently or with this many sad emotions. You had felt him turn around, but you didnât look up. He was squatted down in front of you and he tilted your head up with his fingers. His actions shocked you, but he didnât seem budged by it.
âI do care about you and I do get sad when I think about your future. But because of that I donât talk about you dying. Because I donât want you to be reminded of that while you are with me. I want you to only remember good memories when you are with me. So I rather didnât want to open that conversation. But if you really thought I didnât car, you are wrong. I care too muchâ, he said.
He just looked at you with soft eyes and you didnât know what to respond. Instead of responding, you did something you hadnât expected. Something that even left you in shock.
You kissed him. And strangely, he kissed you back as if knowing that this was about to happen.
When the both of you pulled away, you had tears falling down your cheeks. âWhat if I told you I was actually afraid of dying? What would you say?â
His hands were still resting on your cheeks. âI will stay right here with you until the end. I have no intention of leaving.â
