Not Quite Dead
Hello, everyone,
It's been a while, and I am well aware of it. I'm very sorry about my long silence, and very grateful to everybody who has reached out to me. I know I haven't responded to most of you, but please know your messages have been bright lights in an otherwise very dark path.
It's a long story, but I'll make it as short as possible.
Following a hard period during the pandemic, I obtained a temporary government job in June, 2021. I started working and was overtaken by an unexplainable exhaustion no doctor had an answer for, if they believed me at all. I worked full time, I slept 14 hours, I squeezed in studying here and there and on February, 2022, sat another official exam for a government position. I passed and got a position.
So I had a job for life. Good things happened, bad things happened. I remained exhausted most of the time. On May, 2024, I finally found a good doctor who had an inkling what my exhaustion and a myriad newer small symptoms could be.
On May 20th, 2024, the same day I turned 32, I was diagnosed Chronic Myeloid Leukemia. This is a type of blood cancer. Fortunately, the variation I have is well studied and has a 90% survival rate. There are many treatment options for me.
Unsurprisingly, exhaustion, brain muddyness, and a weak immune system are symptoms of CML. My doctor estimates I developed it around 2020, but confinement and paranoia over the pandemic masked its initial symptoms. This, followed by a personal life tragedy that came with its own onslaught of grief and depression, combined with my lack of energy and my less than ideal living conditions resulted in four years passing between apparition and diagnostic.
I'm very lucky it was found before it became a more aggressive form of leukemia.
Now I'm on medical leave and umdergoing a very targeted form of chemotherapy. It's not great, it has many side effects, but the doctor assures me I should stabilize and lose both the symptoms and side effects in a year at most.
Throughout all this, reading the comments and messages from all the wonderful people who take time out of their days even to read stories that appear very much abandoned has been an invaluable source of joy and encouragement.
To all these people, I'd like to say:
Thank you. Thank you for giving me the motivation to keep trying.
And also:
Nothing is abandoned.
I don't know how long it'll take me to recover my energy levels, nor which stories will call to me first, but I intend to continue all of my stories.
Chapter 24 of The Colours of the World is at 3k.
i hope to see all of you soon.
