i 🐝🍃 in u

enjoys nothing

[major-hoe]

Hi

Hello

I can’t believe how many years it’s been since I’ve logged in holy shit

[danisontnonfire]

Me:*makes a joke about anxiety*

Someone who wasn’t invited: uh wow actually you shouldn’t joke about that no offenense but I have friends who have anxiety and

Me, diagnosed with anxiety:

[inzergue]

[somefrog]

[inzergue]

[stability]

[vivalski]

Me on Tumblr app after finally reaching the end of a long post I wasn’t interested in:

[aphrodaisyacs]

Pro-tip: Press J and it’ll skip to the next post :)

[dretanya]

Me on Tumblr app trying to find the J button:

[lekkerish-deactivated20121128]

[joshpeckofficial-deactivated201]

this is my favorite image on the internet

[splattox]

By the way, a cautionary tale

If you find a bunch of bones that are A: untouched and B: supernaturally clean, there is definitely a reason for both of those things. Sometimes that reason is ants. Sometimes those ants are fire ants. Sometimes those fire ants have made a nest over the entire three meter area around those bones

[nonbinary-entomologist]

Sounds like someone had an adventure with fire ants

[frankenmouse]

I love that this started like one of those rural Gothic posts and ended with “FUCK FIRE ANTS”

[ourstrangeduet]

me at 14: I cant wait till im in college I have so many plans for life and nothing can stop me :)

Me now: Mm. Me hungey. Me eat macdonal. French frie. Frenchffrie. French frie.

[sharky-sharks]

Why do you like sharks?

[yofi-deactivated20190418]

he walk

[knightposting-archived]

He cronch

[gaycubedenby]

He roll

[waywardfangir1]

She give high fin. @lilragekitten

[canidteeth]

He gets tummy rubs

[glitterysquidily]

He get nose rub

[the-monochrome-jester]

He beauty

[hoediac]

He dance

[ayellowbirds]

She do a triple Lutz

[localgaecryptid]

He slorp

[pineapple-crow-deactivated20250]

This post is blessed

[dem0nsiget]

He smile

[marcys-mareep]

does this mean finn’s backpack is red to him, and BMO is red too? Is the treehouse red to him??

[bigbossqueenpoison-archived-dea]

Fin is Red Green color blind, most people who are red green color blind are white males. 

(via)

[cosmic-philanthropy]

I was wondering why all the comparison pictures were the same, then I remembered I’m colourblind…

[major-hoe]

My boyfriend is colorblind and I have to help him with certain video game quests lol

[podencos]

Real love is when you’re both dumbasses

[ttrajeudi]

me: wants to be healthy and recovered 

also me: actively enjoys self destructive behaviour

[just-shower-thoughts]

Let’s all take a moment and thank biology that our internal organs don’t itch.

[thatonenerdgirl]

Fun fact: digestion is actually really painful but your brain just tells you it’s fine the same way it tells you not to bite off your fingure even though you can

[topshelfbottom-deactivated20190]

that’s… frustrating

[croatians]

Tumblir mobile: you have five new notifications!

Me: oh can I see them

Tumblr mobly: hehe

Me: May I See Them

Tumblr: :)

[zacharielaughingalonewithsalad]

[major-hoe]

I feel attacked

[insomniac-arrest]

why were dinosaurs ‘boys culture’ in elementary?? why did we designate the giant extinct reptiles for one specific gender, what the fuck

why were horses for girls, both these creatures are equally terrifying and yet we write Pony Detective books for girls and give plastic toy dinos to boys

why do we do this, why are we like this, why were dinosaurs for boys smh

[charlesoberonn]

It’s time to stop segregating nature by gender. When the dinosaurs come back they’re gonna kill us all equally and indiscriminately anyways.

[insomniac-arrest]

equal opportunity carnage

[pervocracy]

child handling for the childless nurse

My current job has me working with children, which is kind of a weird shock after years in environments where a “young” patient is 40 years old.  Here’s my impressions so far:

Birth - 1 year: Essentially a small cute animal.  Handle accordingly; gently and affectionately, but relying heavily on the caregivers and with no real expectation of cooperation.

Age 1 - 2: Hates you.  Hates you so much.  You can smile, you can coo, you can attempt to soothe; they hate you anyway, because you’re a stranger and you’re scary and you’re touching them.  There’s no winning this so just get it over with as quickly and non-traumatically as possible.

Age 3 - 5: Nervous around medical things, but possible to soothe.  Easily upset, but also easily distracted from the thing that upset them.  Smartphone cartoons and “who wants a sticker?!!?!?” are key management techniques.

Age 6 - 10: Really cool, actually.  I did not realize kids were this cool.  Around this age they tend to be fairly outgoing, and super curious and eager to learn.  Absolutely do not babytalk; instead, flatter them with how grown-up they are, teach them some Fun Gross Medical Facts, and introduce potentially frightening experiences with “hey, you want to see something really cool?”

Age 11 - 14: Extremely variable.  Can be very childish or very mature, or rapidly switch from one mode to the other.  At this point you can almost treat them as an adult, just… a really sensitive and unpredictable adult.  Do not, under any circumstances, offer stickers.  (But they might grab one out of the bin anyway.)

Age 15 - 18: Basically an adult with severely limited life experience.  Treat as an adult who needs a little extra education with their care.  Keep parents out of the room as much as possible, unless the kid wants them there.  At this point you can go ahead and offer stickers again, because they’ll probably think it’s funny.  And they’ll want one.  Deep down, everyone wants a sticker.

[mikkeneko]

This is also a pretty excellent guide to writing  kids of various ages