Major the Lizard

Eliza

[googledocsdyke]

the internet tricks people into thinking many things, such as that liking or disliking taylor swift's music counts as a coherent moral and political stance

[panicinthestudio]

Poet Amanda Gorman Reads 'The Hill We Climb'

The 22-year-old composed a poem that acknowledges the recent insurrection attempt, but turns toward hope. "While we have our eyes on the future, history has its eyes on us," she writes.

Amanda Gorman, a 22-year-old poet from Los Angeles, is following in the footsteps of Robert Frost and Maya Angelou as she takes the stage for President Biden’s inauguration.

But she’s also taking her cues from orators like Frederick Douglass, Abraham Lincoln and Martin Luther King, Jr. — people who knew a thing or two about calling for hope and unity in times of despair and division.

Gorman told NPR she dug into the works of those speakers (and Winston Churchill, too) to study up on ways “rhetoric has been used for good.” Over the past few weeks she composed a poem that acknowledges the previous president’s incitement of violence, but turns toward hope.

“The Hill We Climb” reads, in part:

We’ve seen a force that would shatter our nation rather than share it,

Would destroy our country if it meant delaying democracy.

And this effort very nearly succeeded.

But while democracy can be periodically delayed,

It can never be permanently defeated.

In this truth, in this faith, we trust.

For while we have our eyes on the future,

history has its eyes on us.

Gorman, like Biden, had a speech impediment as a child. (Biden had a stutter; Gorman had difficulty pronouncing certain sounds.) She told NPR’s Steve Inskeep that her speech impediment was one reason she was drawn to poetry at a young age.

“Having an arena in which I could express my thoughts freely was just so liberating that I fell head over heels, you know, when I was barely a toddler,” she said.

For Gorman, a former National Youth Poet Laureate, her struggle to speak provided a connection not only to the incoming president, but to previous inaugural poets, too.

“Maya Angelou was mute growing up as a child and she grew up to deliver the inaugural poem for President Bill Clinton,” she says. “So I think there is a real history of orators who have had to struggle with a type of imposed voicelessness, you know, having that stage in the inauguration.”

There have only been a handful of inaugural poets; Barack Obama, Bill Clinton and John F. Kennedy were the only presidents in the past who chose to have poems read at their inaugurations. You can read all the previous poems here.

NPR

[frocio]

i love it when italians argue about italian. like we don’t even know how our language really works we just roll with it

[frocio]

[iphisesque]

Italian is 107 different provincial languages stuck together with spit and half a prayer

[frogcoded]

My bf lives in another region and we are constantly arguing about regional variations of words and we both live in the fucking north of Italy

[putaemo-cional]

one time i saw a map of italy but instead of cities and roads etc it was just covered w different ways you can say the word vagina. it was covered

[frocio]

oh I can think of at least seven ways to say the word vagina right off the top of my head rn. I can’t imagine what I could do if I tried harder

[criptochecca]

Fjgkahfmangksoajufnajejgnanfjakirjvjjs

[fishbizkit]

this is the Italian Vagina Map, reblog to… I’m not sure actually. Can’t hurt though. 

[dementia-by-day]

Stop taking people with dementia to the cemetery

“Oh yeah, every time that dad forgets mom is dead, we head to the cemetery so he can see her gravestone.”

WHAT. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard some version of this awful story. Stop taking people with dementia to the cemetery. Seriously. I cringe every single time someone tells me about their “plan” to remind a loved one that their loved one is dead.

I also hear this a lot: “I keep reminding mom that her sister is dead, and sometimes she recalls it once I’ve said it.” That’s still not a good thing. Why are we trying to force people to remember that their loved ones have passed away?

If your loved one with dementia has lost track of their timeline, and forgotten that a loved one is dead, don’t remind them. What’s the point of reintroducing that kind of pain? Here’s the thing: they will forget again, and they will ask again. You’re never, ever, ever, going to “convince” them of something permanently. 

Instead, do this:

“Dad, where do you think mom is?”

When he tells you the answer, repeat that answer to him and assert that it sounds correct. For example, if he says, “I think mom is at work,” say, “Yes, that sounds right, I think she must be at work.” If he says, “I think she passed away,” say, “Yes, she passed away.” 

People like the answer that they gave you. Also, it takes you off the hook to “come up with something” that satisfies them. Then, twenty minutes later, when they ask where mom is, repeat what they originally told you.

[drgaellon]

I support this sentiment. Repeatedly reminding someone with faulty memory that a loved one has died isn’t a kindness, it’s a cruelty. They have to relieve the loss every time, even if they don’t remember the grief 15 minutes later.

[stripedsilverfeline]

In other words, don’t try to impose your timeline on them in order to make yourself feel better. Correcting an afflicted dementia patient will not cure them. They won’t magically return to your ‘real world’. No matter how much you might want them to.

It’s a kindness of old age, forgetting. Life can be very painful. Don’t be the one ripping off the bandage every single time.

[prismatic-bell]

I used to work as a companion in a nursing home where one of the patients was CONVINCED I was her sister, who’d died 40 years earlier. And every time one of the nurses said “that’s not Janet, Janet is dead, Alice, remember?” Alice would start sobbing.

So finally one day Alice did the whole “JANET IS HERE” and this nurse rather nastily went “Janet is dead” and before it could go any further I said “excuse me??? How dare you say something so horrible to my sister?”

The nurse was pissed, because I was “feeding Alice’s delusions.” Alice didn’t have delusions. Alice had Alzheimer’s.

But I made sure it went into Alice’s chart that she responded positively to being allowed to believe I was Janet. And from that point forward, only my specific patient referred to me as “Nina” in front of Alice—everyone else called me Janet, and when Alice said my name wasn’t Nina I just said “oh, it’s a nickname, that’s all.” It kept her calm and happy and not sobbing every time she saw me.

It costs zero dollars (and maybe a little bit of fast thinking) to not be an asshole to someone with Alzheimer’s or dementia. Be kind.

[starryfromcosmiccove]

I wish I had heard this stuff when Grandma was still here.

[satr9]

I read once that you have to treat dementia patients more like it’s improv, like you have to take what they say and say to yourself “ok, and” and give them more of a story to occupy them and not just shut it down with something super harsh.

[witch-of-the-west-country]

A nurse I used to work with always told us: “If a man with dementia is trying to get out of bed to go to work, don’t tell him he’s 90 and in a nursing home. Tell him it’s Sunday and he can stay in bed. If a woman with dementia is trying to stand because she wants to get her husband’s dinner out of the oven, don’t tell her he’s been dead for 20 years. Tell her you’ll do it for her and she can sit back down.”

Always remembered that, always did it. Nothing worse than hearing someone with memory loss ask the same question over and over again only to be met with: “We already told you!”

Just tell them again.

[coutureicons]

pink label congo collection by hanifa

[unihumanitia]

I find this whole concept so fascinating. First it was begun before the whole quarantine. Second it was made by a black woman and the invisible model itself is curvy as fuck. Completely going against what a model is supposed to be "a walking clothes hanger", which would have been perfect for a virtual model but she went completely against that idea.

Watch it as fashion company completely rips her off and use invisible model with unreasonable body proportions to promote their product and do not forget who started it all.

[blackboyjoy]

I encourage y’all to go watch the whole video. It’s really dope. She talks about raising awareness about things like conflict materials in the Congo but she wants to provide another narrative for the country as well. She wants to show the beauty that can come from the Congo too.

Hanifa: IG and website

[ask-whitepearl-and-steven]

I hate my curly hair so much I'll brush it for like an hour and itll he smooth as silk but in literally like one minute there's at least 10 knots wHY

ADFADGSFDGKSFG 

BECAUSE IT’S NOT MEANT TO BE BRUSHED!! 

STOP BRUSHING OUT CURLY HAIR 2k19!!!

I hate this, because almost no one knows it. No one tells kids with curly hair how to actually take care of their hair.

You can’t treat curly hair like straight hair and expect the same results! You can’t! It doesn’t work! Curly hair gets its own routine! 

Okay, look, here’s the deal.

Your curls are… curls. They are MEANT to go together into a GROUP. They are not like straight hair which just hands out in one big… thing. Curls have groups.

By BRUSHING it, you are splitting those good-curl groups into separate strands, which, on their own, are STILL trying their goddamned best to curl, but now that they are away from their friends, they are only clinging haphazardly to each other as best as they can and creating tangles!

Here’s what brushed curly hair looks like:

Here’s what well-treated curly hair that has CURL-FRIENDS is supposed to look like (curl size may vary):

See how the curl is NOT only one strand of hair? It’s a whole group!

You know how you get those nice curls?

STOP BRUSHING.Give your curls back their curl-friends!

Okay, here’s the deal - you sit down. You look at this chart. Figure out your type of curl. (guesstimate)

And now you go to this website and you read about what curly hair actually needs to thrive, and you change your routine, and you promise me that you will NEVER disappoint your curls like that again!!!! 

Basics:

1) Curly hair is damaged by heat, lack of moisture, and sulfates in shampoo. 

 - No blowdrying - use a cotton towel or t-shirt to scrunch your hair and get extra moisture out, and allow to air-dry

 - Turn down the shower temp while washing hair. I mean it.

 - Try to find a better shampoo.

2) Curly hair NEEDS moisture, and it NEEDS leave-in conditioner.

 - Use lots of conditioner.

 - Use leave-in conditioner

 - Try to use water spray over chemical setting sprays. 

3) Curly hair does not need to be brushed, only combed with a wide-tooth comb.

 - Comb the hair through with your fingers while in the shower and detangle while you have conditioner in. 

 - Comb again with a wide-toothed comb after the shower if needed

 - If you need to, use a twist of some sort to keep hair out of the way, but don’t squeeze it too much - give it room to breathe!

More tips from smarter people probably exist but that’s the basic stuff.

PLEASE be nice to your curly hair.

[phatwithanf]

Omg not only as a curly haired person but as a guy with curly hair this straight up taught me so much

[hooray4skeleton]

I learned these things years ago but no joke “scrunch your hair dry don’t rub it dry” completely changed my life, that was the day I learned I actually DID have the kind of curly hair I’d always longed for.

[alltoowsll]

Friends | 8 x 06 - “The One with the Halloween Party”

[ravenassassin]

Brooklyn 99 Drinking Game

***GENERAL/LEGAL DISCLAIMER: You know how we love to binge watch TV? When it comes to drinking games, I suggest only one episode at a time (2 tops).  As our beloved Andy Samberg said: “ALCOHOL IS *POISON* … MAN!” You should only binge-watch if you’re planning on drinking water (or a Shirley Temple if you’re feeling frisky).  Speaking of water, drink it so you don’t die. Seriously, use your best/sober discretion here.  Your liver has limits.***

~~~What you’ll need~~~

-Beer (or another malt liquor of your choice) for sips

-Tequila (or another liquor of your choice) for shots

>>>>>>>>

JAKE PERALTA – DRINK WHENEVER JAKE:

-High fives someone [Sip] -Says “NOICE” or “NORSE” [Sip] -Says “SMORT” [Shot] -Impersonates Holt [Shot] -Makes robot impression/references about Holt [Sip] -Gives a title/reference to Amy’s sex tape [Sip] -Invents a character for himself [Sip] -Wears the dress uniform [Shot] -Misquotes or misuses a word/saying [Sip] -Says “stylez” [Shot] -Is hugged [Shot] -Is kissed [Shot]

RAY HOLT – DRINK WHENEVER HOLT:

-Says he’s happy (in whatever form) [Shot] -Says “Dismissed” [Sip] -Calls one of the detectives by their first name [Shot] -Plays along with the squad’s antics/games [Shot] -Has a “sass-off” with Madeline Wuntch [Sip]

TERRY JEFFORDS – DRINK WHENEVER TERRY:

-Picks up/lifts/carries someone [Shot] -Refers to himself in the 3rd person [SIP – YOU WILL DIE] -Eats yogurt (or his love of yogurt is otherwise referenced) [Sip]

CHARLES BOYLE – DRINK WHENEVER CHARLES:

-Gets physically hurt/injured [SIP – YOU WILL DIE] -Compliments Jake [SIP – YOU WILL DIE]

ROSA DIAZ – DRINK WHENEVER ROSA:

-Smiles [Shot] -Physically hits/hurts someone [Sip]

GINA LINETTI – DRINK WHENEVER GINA:

-Ignores someone because of looking at her phone [Sip] -Flirts with/hits on Terry [Sip] -Mentions or performs with her dance troupe [Shot] -Her growing up with Jake is mentioned [Shot] -Talks about spirit animals [Shot] -Talks about psychics [Shot] -Says “bitches” [Sip]

AMY SANTIAGO – DRINK WHENEVER AMY:

-Is socially awkward/weird [Sip] -References seminars [Shot] -Wears her hair down [Sip]

GENERAL/MISC - DRINK WHENEVER:

-ANYONE dances [Shot] -Hitchcock takes his shirt off [Shot] -The term “the nine nine” is used [Shot]

>>>

I had a lot of fun making this.  Hope you enjoy & drink responsibly.

Love ya,

Raven

[meangirlnurse]

this is an extremely exploitable stock photo

[meangirlnurse]

[meangirlnurse]

i was going to make other unrelated jokes but it turns out i had some anger to work through

[marisatomay]

guess we all have some thoughts about driving

[realwerewolveswearshirts]

Okay but:

[meangirlnurse]

[theseinfeldshow]

its the no notes ghoast

[foxfamilyfeatures-blog]

[leafcrunch]

tumblr’s code may change but no notes ghost stays the same

[toastoat]

Oh thank god

[ohthehypocrisy]

imagine the shit storm when tumblr finally becomes so dysfunctional that this post’s total notes is finally revealed

[sreegs-archive]

In case anyone’s curious about what happened to this post, it has to do with how we tally up notes. Likes and reblogs always add to the note count of the root post (the OP). However, the note count relies on the previous value of the root post before adding more notes to it.

Normally when you delete a post, it’s gone, but not gone gone. Just deleted from public never to be seen again. The database entry is still there, just inaccessible.

This post, however, the root post is just gone. Gone gone. Gone forever. Everything attached to it is still there, but since the root post is hard deleted, it’s got nothing to add to. When the note counter tries to add notes to nothing, it goes nowhere.

So it throws every new note into the void. Goodbye forever, notes.

I’m not sure if we’ll ever know the real number of notes on this post.

[ruinedchildhood]

[fangenstein]

@candiikismet look at this child. This baby rockstar

[meangirlnurse]

today Meatball abruptly realized that there are refugee office plants in the kitchen (they have been there for weeks) and has decided his singular purpose in life is to eat them 

[meangirlnurse]

we put up a 4 foot tall step-through baby gate when we brought the plants home, but it turns out he can actually squeeze his body through the bars. not in a dignified way, mind you. but he can 

[meangirlnurse]

we have foiled him with a two-gate system: a short one with small openings that he can’t squeeze through, and the tall one that he can’t jump over. he is now sitting outside our kitchen door rattling the gates with his stupid little mitten hands like an animated ghost prisoner in a Spirit Halloween decoration 

[crafty-butch]

update: we underestimated him

[crafty-butch]

[meangirlnurse]

why are your doors closed to the public 

[evil-dad-evil]

is this the same Meatball with the Hanukkah sweater????

[meangirlnurse]

it sure is 

you may also know him as the Meatball who tried to jump into my toilet and the violent sweatervest-wearing accountant cat 

[numberlover1729]

tiny accountant harasses human, eats plants

[meangirlnurse]

i mean he has to find some way to unwind from his high-pressure job 

[meangirlnurse]

update:

[the-one-the-only-derpghost]

So how do you guys… get in there anymore?

[meangirlnurse]

well my original game plan was opening the white gate and kind of shoving my body through the gap between the wood gate and the grey gate and i am excited to announce that this was not a good idea at all

[meangirlnurse]

update: was woken up at 7 AM this morning by Meatball repeatedly taking a running leap at the gates, bouncing off the top one, and then sitting on the floor outside the kitchen beeping confusedly 

[meangirlnurse]

HOW

[crafty-butch]

[meangirlnurse]

this is our current game plan. stay tuned

[podcastwizard]

hearing the john mulaney “do my friends hate me or do i just need to go to sleep” bit is the best thing to have happened for my mental health because every time i’m afraid my friends hate me it’s around the time i should be going the fuck to sleep

[bladesandstars]

I read somewhere “if you feel like everyone hates you you need to sleep and if you feel like you hate everyone else you need to eat” and it was honestly world-shattering and I wish I’d heard it years ago!

[adhd-positivity]

Self care helps a lot! So does therapy 🙂

[valtsv]

i dont have “delusions of grandeur” i AM grand and powerful and very, very sexy and you all just have to accept that

[buckypupbarnes]

Insp.

[literallyaflame]

i’m gonna make a movie where two normal ladies fall in love. everything’s chill, no age gap, they’re both out of the closet, their families love them, everything’s fine. the catch is that one lady has a cat and the other lady never figured out what the cat’s name was cause the Owner Lesbian ALWAYS uses a dumb nickname and now it’s been three years and they’re getting married and it’s too late to just ask

[cranewived]

[pheebheaux]

It’s garnering more and more urgency because the cat’s importance is growing (the cat is going to be the ring bearer, oh no!)

[j-uwu-ish]

The First Lady asks her fiancé if they should get a fancy collar with the cats name for the wedding and her fiancé throws her arms around her and says “great, would you go do that tomorrow?”

[brunhiddensmusings]

the longer i think about it the more that sounds like a valid conflict to base an entire movie around and the fewer problems i could think of that cant have a solid writing solution available

[mrs-hatsune]

@kitua