some friendship dynamics i doodled that i love a lot because im a certified FRIENDSHIP LOVER from the board of FRIENDIRECTORS on planet PLATONIC
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some friendship dynamics i doodled that i love a lot because im a certified FRIENDSHIP LOVER from the board of FRIENDIRECTORS on planet PLATONIC
There is a very brief moment at the beginning of the Fifteen light novel that gets completely overlooked but I think ultimately encapsulates the entirety of Chuuya and Dazai's relationship dynamic.
âIâm gonna give ya a choice, kid,â the boy told him, hands still in his pockets. âDie now or die after givinâ me the information I want. Whatâs it gonna be?â âI like those two choices. Both very tempting offers,â Dazai replied unflinchingly, despite having been hit in the torso and knocked through several buildings. âOkay. Kill me now.â The boy in the biker jacket fell silent for a brief moment, then looked down at Dazai as if realizing heâd finally met a person of character.
That last line truly is the crux of the Soukoku partnership. They have such a pull towards one another because, prior to this, they had never truly interacted with someone that could be considered their equal. Dazai is bored. Everyone knows this. He whines about it to anyone that will listen.
âGive that back! I wanna die!â Dazai flailed his arms. âLife is so boring; Iâd rather just die! But I want it to be quick and painless! Help me out, Mori!â
But something that gets overlooked is the fact that Chuuya is bored too.
Perhaps it's harder to notice because of how reactionary Chuuya normally is but his baseline emotional state tends to be rather dull. Especially throughout Fifteen and Stormbringer. Like Dazai, Chuuya is struggling deeply with a detachment to the world around him. Dazai has no reason to live and Chuuya has no clue what or who he is. It causes almost this haze around his mind that leaves him untethered from everyone else.
And yet Chuuya had no interest in money or power. They brought him no happiness because he was missing something far more important: a past.
Chuuya gains nothing from his power as he finds it isolating. Nobody is ever on his level which just adds to his level of detachment.
âHey. You wanna know why I always fight without using my hands?â Chuuya asked as he approached Randou. Numerous pebbles vibrated by his feet and floated with each step. âIâve never lost a fight in my life. Iâve never even been in real danger⊠But thatâs no surprise. After all, Iâm not even human. My identity is a safeguard, like you said. Nothing more than a little pattern etched on a colossal furnace of power. Hey⊠Do you know how that feels?â Chuuya stepped onto empty space, using the floating debris to walk in midair. He took another step forward with his other leg. And just like that, Chuuya slowly approached Randou as if he were ascending a staircase. âThatâs why I kept my hands in my pockets. I figured Iâd one day feel like I was about to lose, no longer enjoying the fight but just doing everything I could to protect myself⊠I thought maybe that way Iâd start to like myself as a personâme, a little pattern without a body of my own.â
Like Dazai, this same detachment leads to Chuuya considering suicide. It's also why when Chuuya is at his mental worst and these suicidal thoughts start to emerge, they do so by stealing Dazai's voice and image.
Obviously, Iâm gonna never gonna give in. I can keep this up forever. But for what purpose? âI told you, Chuuya.â He looked up in the direction of the sudden voice. It was a familiar voice, one that belonged to the person he hated most in this world. âYour birth itself was a mistake. Weâre the same. Is there really a point to suffering through all that pain for a life that isnât even real?â The voice was taunting him. âShut up,â Chuuya spat, but even he knew he was talking to himself. He was most likely hearing things due to the drugs he was given. There was nobody there, but his mind was scattered, and the voice wouldnât stop. âScrew you, Dazai.â âThatâs the best comeback you could come up with?â Chuuya wanted nothing more than to slice off the ear the voice was whispering into. He could see Dazaiâs wavering shadow by his side, and he wanted to gouge out his eyes. âThatâs just proof that you at least somewhat believe what Iâm saying. Because deep down inside, youâre the same as me.â âShut up, shut up, shut up! Iâm me! Iâm not some piece of shit like you!â
Chuuya hates the fact he can understand Dazai. He views it as a reflection of his worst parts. His worst fear is becoming so detached that he ends up on the level of Dazai, someone who is apathetic towards almost everything. Dazai, on the other hand, views Chuuya as human BECAUSE of this.
âYou sound like youâre certain heâs human.â âI am.â Dazai sighed, smiling. âThereâs no way I could hate a man-made character string this much.â
Dazai gets enjoyment out of his dislike towards Chuuya as Dazai tends not to feel much intense emotion about ANYTHING. Even in the earlier chapters of Fifteen, it's shown that Dazai is bored and exasperated by Mori. Chuuya is the first truly interesting "thing" he'd been exposed to in who-knows-how-long. At the end of Fifteen, there is a conversation where Dazai explains he wants to live. I know that it's well beloved by the SKK fandom but I want to dissect the parts that are overlooked a bit more.
âGet away from me,â Chuuya spat. âYouâre not gonna convince me to do anything.â âI know.â Dazai glanced at Randou. Then he whispered quietly so that Randou couldnât hear: âLetâs beat him. Together.â Chuuya stared at Dazai in bewilderment, seemingly uncomprehending. ââŠAre you being serious?â âI have a plan, but I canât do it alone. It needs both of us to work. Do you trust me?â Chuuya held Dazaiâs gaze for a brief moment and demanded, âTell me what made you change your mind. I thought you wanted to die.â âI just felt like it. Is that not a good enough reason?â Dazai smiled, perplexed.
Dazai is perplexed by Chuuya's demand for an explanation. Dazai, up until this point, has been reconstructing his view of Chuuya. He isn't used to be questioned about his intentions as he often has very surface-level ones (because he wants to or because it's directed at some goal). Most people would simply accept Dazai's answer of "feeling like it" as trying to unravel Dazai's thoughts and feelings seems like an impossible thing. Chuuya doesn't deny TRUSTING Dazai nor think he's lying - he's "bewildered" by the statement. Instead of backing down though, Chuuya wants to know WHY. More importantly though, Chuuya believes that Dazai's explanation will be enough for him to UNDERSTAND where Dazai is coming from.
âWorking for the Mafia has piqued my interest, albeit slightly,â Dazai began. âIn the outside worldâthe world of lightâdeath is kept separate from everyday life. Itâs swept under the rug. People find it unpleasant. But the Mafiaâs world isnât like that. Death is an extension of everyday life. Itâs a part of life. And I tend to think thatâs more accurate. Death isnât the opposite of life but merely a function of it. We breathe, eat, fall in love, and die. And you canât get the full picture of living without observing death up close.â Chuuya quietly stared at Dazaiâs expression as if he were searching for something human deep inside of him. âSo youâre sayingâŠyou want to live now?â âI wouldnât go that far,â Dazai replied with a resigned smile. âMaybe I wonât find anything, but I figure Iâll give it a try. Once I successfully complete this mission, Iâm going to join the Mafia. Gotta defeat him first, though. BesidesâŠâ ââBesidesââŠ?â âI got a new dogâyou. And I still havenât given you any commands,â Dazai said with a smirk. Chuuya snorted.
Chuuya, in this moment, still doesn't fully understand. He's trying to though. This is going to seem like a super random segue (just stay with me as I promise it's not) but also in the beginning of Fifteen is this description of Dazai. It's from Mori's perspective.
Dazaiâs expression was unchanging, which made reading his thoughts nigh impossible. His face was as still as the frozen surface of a lake.
Why do I bring this up? Because Chuuya gets a similar moment about reading Dazai's face at the END of Fifteen. You would think that based on how Dazai's face/expressions/mannerisms are usually described in more serious moments, that Chuuya would get frustrated because he can't read Dazai or would once again be confused by Dazai's. The term "expressionless", "bored", "empty" are all the main synonyms used to get across how apathetic Dazai tends to be seen as. In this case however...
Chuuya glared at him, still breathing heavily. Despite his trembling legs and the sweat pouring down his face, he didnât take his eyes off Dazai for a second. He quietly stared at Dazai as if all the answers were written on his face.
Chuuya has only known Dazai for a few days at this point. Yes, they had defeated Rimbaud together, but Dazai is his enemy in this moment - he's actively threatening the Sheep. Still, Chuuya is confident in his ability to read Dazai. The defeat of Rimbaud shifted something in their dynamic. Whatever happened in that fight created a connection between the two of them that led to an understanding on Chuuya's end that nobody else (excluding possibly Oda) has of Dazai. This might get me a lot of flack but I don't think Dazai comes to that same understanding of Chuuya until the end of Stormbringer. Yes, Dazai cares for Chuuya and is confident in his humanity but I don't think he GRASPS who Chuuya is as a person until their fight with Verlaine. Dazai is downright GIDDY when Guivre appears. It's the most interesting thing he's ever seen. It offers him both a new experience AND an opportunity for death...
Dazai looked up at the creature. âThis is a singularity? Did this power really come from a skill?â He sounded downright ecstatic. âIt looks like the end of the world.â Even his lips unconsciously curled with euphoria.
But when Dazai's about to give up, he chooses otherwise because of Chuuya. I won't cite the infamous "ANYTHING BUT THAT" scene with Mori as everyone is already well aware of it but instead a later moment...
âWhat do you want to do, then? Grow big, too, and have a fistfight with it?â Dazaiâs icy gaze met Chuuyaâs. âItâs hopeless. Isnât it obvious just looking at that thing? A singularityâs like a loophole in the rules. That monster is a manifestation of something that shouldnât exist in this world. Humans donât stand a chance against it. Thereâs nothing we can do.â âYouâre wrong about that,â Chuuya said, sternly holding Dazaiâs gaze for several seconds. He then let go of Dazai and stated firmly: âThere is something we can do about it. Iâm sure of it.â Dazai listlessly dropped to the ground in a seated position. âHa-ha-ha. This is getting interesting. And what are you basing that on?â
Dazai is surprised by Chuuya once again and is willing to shift gears because of it. He's actually relatively "comforting" of Chuuya in this scene and shows concern for him up until Chuuya activates corruption. When Chuuya DOES, it's when we get this line...
âIncredible,â a dumbfounded Dazai muttered as he watched from the top of the gas tank. âSo this is the power of Arahabaki.â
Dazai does the one thing Chuuya needs him not to do - consider him as a separate being to his own power. But then...
âSo thatâs Arahabakiâsâthatâs Chuuyaâs true form,â Dazai muttered feverishly as he stared up from the surface.
He ends up correcting himself after a few more moments. Dazai really only got it in that moment, I think. Ironic considering this is the same scene that discusses the loneliness of Verlaine and Chuuya. It shifts the narrative of Chuuya being completely detached to having formed relationships and friendships. It calls out Verlaine for having wanted the same things. It also reinforces the fact that Chuuya STILL does have a connection with someone that he can rely on.
This second sun that lit up the sky eventually vanished, quietly and delicately. After limply floating in the air for a few seconds, the wings on Chuuyaâs back vanished, and he slowly began to fall. Until Dazai caught him.
There is something, I think, about knowing and loving someone you don't like. Soukoku works as a partnership because they understand one another so well that they never lose interest. It's just so interesting to pick apart and see how deep that dynamic actually goes. Sorry for the rambling lol. If anyone actually made it to this point, congrats! You win nothing but my respect.
Sooooooooooo new ATLA movie huh?
Release it to theatres paramount. Dont be a fucking coward. Release the movie.
sorry but look how silly drunk gaang is
they won't tell you this in therapy but sometimes the best way to stop catastrophizing/anxiety is to interrupt your spiraling with "girl what the hell are you talking about"
It's not a cure but you have no idea how many times this image has helped me with my OCD
On sonic images that help with mental health, this one genuinely helped me more than i would like to admit
british towns will be called Fuckmouth or whatever and people will just go with it
obsessed with this
i literally live 10 miles from shitterton and i can confirm that the council had to replace all of their signs with rocks because they kept getting stolen.
inspired by a convo with a friend
HUEVEMBER DAY 3
also unatampted inktober day 7 promt: Fire
MY GUY
MY BOY
BLORBO FROM MY GAMES
THE GUY WHO BEAT THE RECORD FOR THE LONGEST TIME SPENT LOCKED IN
âŠSo anyway new quest coming and there has BETTER BE an option âCâ in which no one besides a certain L man dies
not drawin nothin today because its the day of the birth of me and so I get to do what I want which is absolutely nothing at all. And eat gummies. Life is good and all is well
soooooooooooo guess who missed almost the entirety of inktober but thought âhey, huevember is a thingâ
meeee
SO. Doing my inktober prompts in november and giving them one(1) color from the wheel
So here, have the bbg from my games
this tookâŠâŠ. so much longer than I thought it would.
To be fair, maybe thinking I can speed-run designing the time-skip version for one of my OCâs to match her brother wasnt my brightest idea
ANYWAY. HERE ARE MY TWO FAVOURITE SIBLINGS. HAVE THEM
he's very excited about his first night as a jack o lantern
my boy
I love how its getting closer to that time of year again and ppl starting to reblog my boy again
Drawtober day two electric boogaloo-
There are only three duoâs I think of when I hear âpartners in crimeâ and I feel like I dont draw these two nearly enough with how much they rot my brain, so here they are. Your honour, they are plotting.
DRAWTOBER DAY 1 - FROG
Opening up the witchiest month with the witchiest witch felt right. Also she has her frog. Honestly could have just drawn the Frinos but this glorious amphibian looked at me and said âI need to be HELDâ so here they are