How to Cook A Mermaid

RPM! Get in Gear! || 6’2”|| 35 Forever (1986)|| Mermaid Chef|| writer|| I support feminist action|| radical || ISFJ|| Power Ranger|| dick head. || BlueSky: phatjake|| FORMERLY: fiftyshadesofjakebud, jakebud, noducksinamyspond

[makinjakenpancakes]

Buy my book!

The prophecy of the Uniter had been passed down for generations and each tribe of Earth believed that their tribe will have the first human to fly. Tobu's life changed dramatically one night when he is seen floating in the skies of Ton-Lin. When the seven moons of Earth fill the sky each tribe must exile one of their own.

Amazon.com

Maybe I’ll finish the prequel and the sequel that are sitting on my laptop as WIPs.

[wibblyrlin]

Doctor Who | 9.13

[angelbabymikaa]

hey does anyone have an extra will to live i could borrow its cool if not no worries

[komaedalovemail]

i fucking hated your shoelaces this entire time

[butterfirefly]

for the uninitiated

[thomasmomwell]

there should be a special heart button you can press that's just for when your friend's tags are really good

[dankmemeuniversity]

[iamoutofideas]

[mochipuchi]

yiou can only reblog this post on july 17th dont reblog it on any other day or you will be boiled

[mochipuchi]

what the fuck

[0x4468c7a6a728]

you can't boil me it's july 17th

[tsuquilisda]

rebecca black was right. It’s Friday

[peteneems]

[json-derulo]

when we started talking about getting a small-breed dog I was like, "I will NEVER turn into one of those people who treats their little dog like a doll or an accessory by forcing them to dress up in ridiculous outfits. Dogs HATE that. They should get to be DOGS, and that means not having to wear anything but a HARNESS and being FREE to ROLL in the MUD." and then I adopted a dog who throws a fit if you try to take him for a walk without letting him pick out a bow tie first. a dog who loves wearing pajamas so much that I'm about to spend a disgusting amount of money on several sets of linen ones for summer. a dog who watches me wave at him to follow me through a mud puddle and just stands there blinking up at me like, "are you fucking serious? and get my paws wet?"

[json-derulo]

me: I will raise him no differently than the two 80-lb labs I had growing up. absolutely no hoity-toity frou frou little yapyap dog stuff. he's gonna be a good ol' fashioned, rough-and-tumble, capital D-O-G—

—never mind. the boy yearns to be ensweatered

[json-derulo]

to celebrate the popularity of this post, I ordered him another set of the linen jammies in yellow. now he looks like paddington bear

the etsy seller threw in a little miniature hermes silk scarf as a freebie and I dare you to tell me he doesn't know how handsome he looks in it. whenever we take it off of him he broods like he's a wealthy victorian orphan child in desperate need of a seaside holiday to restore his delicate aristocratic constitution

[digitaldiscipline]

went out for pints with the lads last night.

[doomspaniels]

I made this image for my working line, bred to hunt all day, rough tough... princess. She's *such* a princess. You'd never know she spent her first 8mo in outdoor (hunting) kennels; this dog was born to cuddle under the covers and wear pretty tiaras with matching necklaces. Anyway, I would like to share it for all the rough tough pets out there:

[wheresurboytonighthelookslikeenj]

first half of count the rice is funny because everyone’s threatening violence to sam or living their best lives in losers island while ify and catherine look like this

[fluorescent]

One of the best feelings is knowing that you’re wanted. Knowing that someone wants to talk to you, wants to know how you’re doing, wants to se you. Whether they pick up the phone to send you a quick text or stop by your house to catch up, someone or something reminded them of you specifically. It just feels really nice to know that you’ve been on someone’s mind and that they care enough to let you know that.

[scribeherself]

I love saying “no worries” instead of “it’s okay,” like do not spend a single millisecond of your finite mortal existence letting anxiety over this situation consume you. I have already erased the incident from the timeline. It is gone. You are safe now.

[dogposts]

the criminal vs. the crime

[hellshee]

the best thing about tumblr is that you can watch a show and then you come here and someone has made a gifset of it and you can put it on your blog like a sticker in a journal

[gerardwayspostcocaineweightgain]

it’s actually wild how terrified of the general public most usamericans are. like you don’t realize it if you’re someone who mostly walks and takes transit and spends a lot of time in populous public spaces but then you talk to one of the thousands of people that seemingly never set foot in any public space besides a parking garage or a starbucks and you suddenly understand why it’s so easy for fascist rhetoric about the dangerous alien to take root. this country’s median voter pretty much never interacts with strangers who aren’t their coworkers or people they met on dating apps

[gerardwayspostcocaineweightgain]

saw a post on instagram that was literally someone citing statistics saying public transit is one of the safest travel options out there and the comments were literally just “ummmmm op this is so ableist and misogynistic of you :) don’t you know the average public transit user is a dangerous violent criminal who wants to set you on fire :)))”

[gerardwayspostcocaineweightgain]

it must be so terrifying and sad to go through life convinced if you set foot outside your car in public or interact with people outside your nuclear family you’ll instantly be raped and robbed by the Evil Poors no wonder so many of these people are reactionary tar pits

[cardassiangoodreads]

Eternally relevant read is True Crime is Rotting Our Brains by Emma Berquist, a woman who actually experienced a (rare!) stranger-attack while just walking outside, and thinks that people who panic about this shit need to chill the fuck ouuuuuutt and also recognize how much they're using it to launder their bigotries

Edit: I've attempted to add this link at least three times and Tumblr is being stubborn, so let me try posting it on its own:

True Crime Is Rotting Our Brains

Emma Berquist

[itsabear]

not just true crime but the news is in on it too, especially local and right wing but not exclusively.

[i-suggest-prison-abolition]

Even outside of the news and true crime, people who live in the "nice" parts of a city constantly talk like this. In part because of the news but it's also an idea passed down from suburban family to suburban family. To keep them scared of Black people and poor people.

Constantly people talk about my city like it's a crime infested drug haven (god I fucking wish drugs were as easy to find here as people make it out to be) especially the people who live in the richer areas. People are terrified of the downtown area and the public transit because of this. I'm constantly being warned about going downtown at night or going ANYWHERE in this place alone. And yet. Nothing! My house got broken into once as a kid. ONCE. but everyone's acting like if you turn down one alleyway your life or your possessions will be taken from you.

And this is how they all talked BEFORE the true crime boom. In Canada. True crime just infected an already festering wound.

[isuggesteatingtherich]

i have a suggestion

[i-suggest-prison-abolition]

Oh hey same.

[isuggestrevolution]

yeah me too

[ritualday]

we're getting closer to 2030 and what are we supposed to do then. that's not a number for a year to be