Seungho: Physicality and Love
From reading S1 (so, so many times) there was an aspect that caught my attention that now unravels further in S2 (E1).
The first time they are physical (technically r*pe from the advantage of our modern social morality), Nakyum is under the illusion that it is Inhun and not Seungho—Inhun whom he is naively infatuated with. At the end of their tryst, Nakyum says “My heart is so full” and it seems to affect Seungho. For the first time we see a panel of tenderness during sex for him; he kisses Nakyum’s tears. Then Nakyum says “I like it” and that notion sticks with Seungho.
He is very disgruntled (read: mad as holy fuck) that Nakyum doesn’t remember and when he is forced to do so, he refuses Seungho, telling him the words were for Inhun—Seungho already knew but it enrages him further nonetheless.
And here begins Seungho’s personal battle: Why did he like it before and not now when I am doing the same things? And, of course, that is because for Nakyum his emotions are tied into his sexuality: infatuation and shame alike.
Whereas Seungho, up until that point, seems to be a purely physical person when it comes to sex (and also not giving a flying fuck what anyone thinks). The only reason Nakyum returns to him and “consents” (which negates the consent) is on the advice from Inhun and Nakyum’s desperation to hide his “shameful” self from him. When the infatuation begins to break down, and he begins to see Inhun’s true nature (when he’s advised to stay while Inhun enjoys his freedom after being entirely unconcerned about Nakyum’s serious illness), Seungho meets him at the gate with (imo empty) threatening words and proceeds to ask “What is it you like so much?”. He can’t figure out what he is doing wrong, all of the excessive “sex” (quotation marks because NC but we’re looking from Seungho’s eyes and understanding) isn’t making Nakyum say those words that have infatuated Seungho: “I like it”, and Nakyum is still following Inhun like a puppy.
Cue Seungho filled to the brim with a shit tonne of conflicting emotions
By this point we are already seeing acts from Seungho that state his intent to care and perhaps (I think so, at least) remorse or guilt is implied, too; he is beginning to (re?)connect emotions with sex because of his desire for Nakyum and the unwavering loyalty he’s seen extended to someone who, in Seungho’s estimation (& mine too cos fuck Inhun), is unworthy of it. He wants that, whatever that thing is that makes a peasant lose sense of propriety and scream at a Lord, to act foolishly happy, to remain untouched in his infatuated dedication. He wants Nakyum’s love, whether he knows that is in fact what he wants or not.
Cue Suengho and some unpracticed affection
I’m interested to see the affect created now that a milestone has been reached and Nakyum has said to him, without being forced or inebriated, “I like it”. For lack of better words, Seungho is shooketh. He did something right, something he’s doing is working.
Cue Lord Yoon of the Valley Shooketh - Realm of Cum Quick Seungho
Anyway, this long ass splurge was just me trying to get out in words how Seungho is discovering something new, just as Nakyum is, in being emotionally involved with sex. He has no experience in emotions*, whereas Nakyum has. (*As far as we’ve seen Seungho has no experience, or perhaps he had before, that we are unaware of at this point, and it subsequently severed his connection between emotion and sex so he is relearning (I believe this theory and it’s why his manservant treats Nakyum well)). And we can flip that: Seungho has experience in sex, whereas Nakyum has none (and added to that a tonne of shame heaped onto those sexual desires so that even in the right circumstance it would not be easy to find the space for true enjoyment and liberation in sex).
Cue an adorably confused and conflicted Nakyum
They are teaching each other things, albeit in very indirect and ham-fisted ways. I expect a variety of bumps along the way but it seems like Seungho has at least found the right tracks
And this is why I enjoy writing these two, their characters have depth and flaws, a strong desire for something, and their stories are rich with beautiful detail.
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