Amy Ang

Take the risk or lose the chance.

[malignantdarkness]

something tells me that things will get better. i know it will. on days i don’t feel like the world is moving beneath my feet, that i’m being suffocated by everyone i love, that life isn’t worth living — i remind myself that a few years ago, i thought like this. when i was 12 i thought i would kill myself by the end of december. now i’m 15. i still bad, i still have bad days. but i know if i hang on, there will be days where i will realise the meaning of life. maybe i’m too young, maybe i’m too sad. but one day i’ll wake up, feeling like the sun is growing inside of me, like flowers blooming between the crevices of my fingers, like water to a parched throat of an explorer — i will discover.

amy ang

[malignantdarkness]

“i never thought you could walk away like this. to one person, you are diamond, you are emerald, you are everything they were dying for; like an astronaut seeking to reach the other side of the universe, like an archaeologist with their fingers in the dirt, like a child drawing for the first time. you can be whatever you desire. and they will still love you. you are that person.

but i guess to you i was just another toy on your shelf. you don’t hate me — but you don’t desire me. you don’t desire me the way i do. i sit there. collecting dust. and when you past by me 10 years down the road, i’ll be different. you don’t remember me having short hair. you don’t remember me smiling. you don’t remember me the way i wanted you but that’s good, i guess. but if you had stayed then maybe, just maybe — you will remember better.”

[malignantdarkness]

i told her once if i ever wanted to kill myself i’ll call her. and that’s the only time i’ll bother her. but now i’m not even sure she’ll pick up my call.

- malignantdarkness

[malignantdarkness]

And, the truth is that he could break my heart again, but i’ll still go back to him.

[malignantdarkness]

i keep imagining us in your twin sized beds, lying beside each other, phones in our bags. just our soft breaths against our lips, and the soft thumping of my heart against your chest. i fall asleep in your arms.

things i wished were true

[malignantdarkness]

“I’m sorry.” I said, sighing. “What are you sorry for?” He asked, a puzzled look on his face. I watch his eyes blink, pondering on the pain that’s on my face. “ I don’t know.” I laughed, barely holding the tears in. “I just- I just feel like i’m sorry, you know? Like I shouldn’t had entered your life at all. I’m sorry, I’m just sad, again.” He doesn’t speak for a long while, silence stung my skin like bees. “You should be sorry.” He said. “You should be sorry for feeling bad about talking to me. I never regretted knowing you; I don’t think you’re a loser or you’re sad. You’re you and that’s that.”

- (what i wished he would had said.)

[malignantdarkness]

LMAOOOOO IM SOBBING y’all know how like white people are depicted to be bad at eating spice??? i was with a friend just now who we didn’t know couldn’t eat spice and when she ate the spicy noodles she cursed and we looked at her and asked “you can’t eat spice?” she straight up yelled out “IM WHITE I CANT EAT SPICE”

SHES ASIAN.

when we told her what ‘white’ meant she was like ‘oh. i thought it meant my skin.’ because she’s really really PALE BUT I STILL CANT GET THIS OUT MY MIND

[malignantdarkness]

you know it’s real when your phone buzzes and you wished that it was him.

a lover i loved but could not have.

[theybby-deactivated20231001]

I’m screaming??? So my cat knows I get upset when he steps on my paintings (not yelling or anything I think he just sees me spend hours trying to cover up what his paws do) in my “studio” which is a crammed small storage closet with painting all over the floor drying , so like I’m in there rn and I saw him try to get to point A to point b but it was impossible for him to jump over so like he realized the matte parts were dry and like he was stepping on the corners of the painting and every step he’d look at his paw to see if he fucked up and honestly it was the most thoughtful thing ever I don’t ever wanna hear anyone ever say that cats don’t care

[gaymerlvl-pharmercy]

I beg you, if this ever happens again, get a video

[malignantdarkness]

How can you prepare a war against yourself?

amy ang

[malignantdarkness]

I’m sorry for what i’ve done, I’m sorry for my actions and what I’ve become; I am a monster, a living deception of a fictional character; that never existed.

[malignantdarkness]

when forgiveness starts knocking on your door, let her in; maybe it starts from the beginning after all.

amy ang

[malignantdarkness]

you put a bandaid over a bullet wound, but the blood still pours like the fountain of youth.

amy ang

[malignantdarkness]

I can feel my tears trickling down the side of my cheeks. I never knew it'll hurt so fucking much.

Amy ang

[malignantdarkness]

why am I crying, oh god- why am I crying? oh my god, please, stop.

amy ang

[malignantdarkness]

It is sad to see how I overreact so much, and I hate myself for it but I can't help feeling so utterly hurt.

Amy Ang

[malignantdarkness]

stop telling people you're okay when you're not.

amy ang