Official Mallard Massacre

Metal band. We are: Jonathan, Jace, Jordan, Alec and Sebastian. Disclaimer: This is a fictional band based upon the fanfiction Battle of the Bands by simplymoshingintomordor Inspired by Cassandra Clare's The Mortal Instruments

[dalinarkholin-blog1]

Fanart for The Mortal Instruments AU - Battle Of The Bands by  simplymoshingintomordor for surpassing 3k reviews!

[mallardmassacre]

Hi! So I just had a few questions!I was wondering what exactly the girls ( And Simon) are doing back home? and also Are Camile And Jonathan going to the same University? Ooh and are the girls (and Simon) graduating this year so they can then go to uni and move in with their respectable partners?and how's Magnus doing? Also will you ever do a Clary POV, because she is a big part of the band, though she isn't in it. and for my biggest question of all... Are You, Sebastian Single? #Sebastian talks

The girls are up to their usual tricks i.e. annoying us at every opportunity. They come up to campus so often that they practically live here. If they (and Simon) somehow manage to pass their exams - though god knows how Clary manages to study when she’s too busy the room I share with Jace every other weekend - then they should be coming up to uni later this year. I sincerely hope they’re not moving in with us, but I’m prepared to negotiate.

Camille is taking a gap year to ‘find herself’ or whatever, so she’s travelling the globe at the moment. The last I heard, she was in Paris. So no, she’s not at uni with me but she drops in every now and then so we can make up for lost time hehe ;) As for Magnus, you’d have to ask Alec about that one. They’re still living together and I’m sure they’re having a wild time. I think he mentioned starting his own fashion line when we last spoke? 

And your answer to the Clary question is NOPE!! Why are you people so obsessed with her? I guarantee that if you knew her in real life you wouldn’t want to hear from her nearly as much. Also, I think it would be rather impossible for her to be a big part of anything ahahaha….

I’ll let Seb answer the last question himself, though I have heard he still meets up with Madame Dorothea every now and then so you might be out of luck.

- The Sexy One

Erm…err….single? Well, I…err…

[mallardmassacre]

Yey I finally found it! It wasn't that hard though. I'm a fan of BotB and even though I have no single clue about the Mortal Instruments series I came to love them in your story. It Jace and Clary's relationship is kinda like me and my girlfriend. Guess that's why she made me read it. Anyway, thanks for your awesomeness. Cheers!

Aha, thank you for reading!! And thanks to your girlfriend for making you :P xx

[mallardmassacre]

{ If you receive this it means you make someone happy! Go on anonymous and send this to ten followers who make you happy or some you feel need cheering up. If you get some back, even better!

Thanks <3

[mallardmassacre]

Are you thinking of writing anymore stories on Fanfiction,net? I know you have a full plate with college and all but I really like your writing and wondering should I keep my eye open for anything. Cheers, Bookgal

I will be, yep! The first epilogue for A Tale Of Two should be up around easter and then I’ll be starting my third full-length fic this summer :) x

[simplymoshingintomordor]

Hello wonderful people, so a lot of you have gotten in touch with me over the last couple of days about the t-shirt thing and other stuff, and I can confirm that it will be going ahead. There’s been a surprising amount of interest (50+ already wow) and I’m looking into setting up a website in a couple of months to make it all official. 

Till then though, I’ve decided to set up a facebook page so it’s easier for you all to stay in contact with me. That way I’ll be able to post design ideas as and when I come up with them, you can give me your thoughts and I can just generally ramble about fic ideas and stuff. Plus, since I’ll be writing novels of my own soon enough, it’s the best way to keep you guys updated on what’s going on because god knows my ANs on FF are long enough already haha :P So yep, if want to go ahead and like me on fb, we can get this party started. 

Thank you xx

[simplymoshingintomordor]

Okay guys so this is probably a long shot, but if I were to hypothetically make t-shirts from my fics available e.g. Mallard Massacre/Canard Cannibal fan shirts from BotB or Will’s literary innuendo t-shirts from AToT, how many of you might be interested? I’d keep the prices as low as possible because I don’t care about profit and all that crap, so either I’d print them myself and ship them to you personally (where you’d pay only for materials and shipping) or I’d sign up to a website with really low margins. Idk. It’s just an idea. A lot of you have mentioned something along those lines before so if you like the idea, please like this/message me. I’m not going to hold you to anything, don’t worry. Thank you!!

[mallardmassacre]

Just to clear one thing up, I was meant to be taking a gap year to travel with Magnus, but changed my mind at the last minute. Apologies if Jace confused anyone in his last response. That boy's off with the faeries half the time...

[mallardmassacre]

So I've been wanting to know what it is your all studying at uni? Do you all live in a flat together? And what are your plans for Winter break?

Hello! Wow, yes, it’s been a while and much has happened!

I’ve personally moved in with my boyfriend Magnus this year, so I commute to uni, but the others are all living in student halls since Freshers get priority for that sort of accommodation. Jace and Jonathan are actually roommates while Jordan and Sebastian live in the dorms in a slightly different campus because they’re humanities students, but they’re only a mile or so apart. It took some convincing for Sebastian’s aunt to let him live away from home, but she accepted only once she was assured he’d be in the same halls as Jordan. I’m not sure if that made him feel any better about it haha…

I’m studying Law, Jonathan’s studying Biology, Jace is doing Psychology, Sebastian is a Geography student and Jordan is an historian. A couple of us did consider music, but we figured having to study it as an obligation rather than for fun would probably destroy our love for it :P

On the music front, Mallard Massacre is still going strong and we have band practice every weekend. We alternate between me going up to join the boys and them coming home, so they get to see their families every other weekend. Obviously that means Jace and Jordan get to see Clary and Maia once a fortnight too, though the girls sometimes venture up to campus to see them as well. It’s slightly more awkward with Clary though because Jace shares a room with her brother, so I think the general arrangement is that she gets Jace’s bed while he’s forced to camp out on the floor. Though, I often wonder whether Jonathan’s being there is the only reason why Valentine would permit her coming down in the first place. The two of them skype all the time anyway, so it’s hardly a long distance relationship. 

As for the flat situation, as I said we’re all separate this year but we probably will be moving in together next year. By that time the girls will be at university too and I’m sure Clary and Maia will opt out of student housing in favour of living with their boyfriends, so with Magnus and I included, plus Simon and Isabelle if they’re feeling left out, it looks like we’ll be on the hunt for a six-bedroom house to rent out! 

We are in the middle of our winter holidays now and that means we’ve got an entire month at home with our families, though it’ll be over soon enough. Most of us have been studying for the majority of it but we’ve been practicing too and have had a couple of impromptu local gigs. I know many of you were expecting to see us on tour with Mark Of Cain this summer, but unfortunately their new lead singer Raffe caught laryngitis just before it was set to begin, so they’ve postponed it till next year. We’re still definitely a support act though so we will be going out with them this summer, it just means we have even more time to practice now so there’s no excuse not to knock people’s socks off!

In the meantime, I’ve heard rumours afoot that the music society at our uni is organising a Battle Of The Bands contest next term, so perhaps we’ll sign up for that… ;)

[mallardmassacre]

Hey! How is my fave metal band? Jace, how are things with Clary? I would love to hear from y'all. And Jon may be my favorite out of all you

Hello! We’re not doing too bad at the moment, just trying to reschedule our tour with Mark Of Cain and attempting to adjust to life at university. (Apart from Alec, he’s decided to take a gap year to travel with Magnus). Everything is great with Clary! I don’t get to see her as much as I used to, but I come home every weekend with Jonathan and the Christmas break is coming up soon which means a whole month back at home! You may even hear some new stuff from us…

(Also Jon says thanks, but he’s still very much a taken man - unless you fancy fighting it out with Camille)

[simplymoshingintomordor]

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[mallardmassacre]

(smim: in case any of you guys want to know what I sound like. I've been down with a cold lately so sorry if I sound a bit snotty :P also I tag you all)

[mallardmassacre]

Jonathaaaan! Did you know Clary compared the sound of your band to the sound of oppressed donkeys trying to have oral?

SHE DID WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!

I'll have you know we're simply amazing, okay. Amazing.

[mallardmassacre]

Duuuuuudeeeeesss! You know that awesome chick SMIM? Well she told us that you guys are going to Aunt Charlottes wedding! Any clue when the wedding is? I'd love to have a save-the-date 😂 Thanks man, rock on you lovely ducklings!

Hey! Unfortunately it was a few months ago (Charlotte wanted it kept on the DL so it was a pretty small event) but you can find out what happened here!

[mallardmassacre]

Massacrons, pssh. How about macaroons? I've heard they're very metal.

Please, peasant. You obviously have no idea. (OMG Jon you can't speak to our fans like that D:)

[mallardmassacre]

So Jace, you guys are saying there will be your tour diaries for us, does that mean you're gonna go on tour taking Clary with you, so we're getting other stories of your epic-love??:))))) (sorry John)

There are indeed! The tour kicks off in just over a week so we'll be posting diaries throughout :D And we're not taking her with us as such, but she'll definitely be coming along to some of the local shows! (mainly to support her brother, yes, of course jon)

[simplymoshingintomordor]

Chapter 2 is up!! The girls meet the Herondale boys and more ;)

[simplymoshingintomordor]

And the new fic is up!! Here’s the summary:

TMI/TID crossover. After yet another set of failed relationships, Clary and her flatmate Tessa have just about had enough of men. Determined not to be let down again, they make a pact to stay single and spend Valentine’s together instead. At least, that’s the plan. Unfortunately, their new neighbours - the Herondale boys - have plans of their own…