^ general designs for each member featured here. Not all of them are here rn, more will be added over time, names are codenames
Hi welcome to our comic blog were we would try to post sys comics. We don’t plan to be super duper active but we’ll try. We are bodily a minor and are choosing to keep our source to ourselves.
It/Its collectively, we call ourselves The Apartment Complex Collective here. Likes and follows from @/tac-collective. If you know our main then shhh pls
please keep origin discourse off this blog all systems are welcome
tags:
#comic - comics
#not a comic - not comics
#asks - asks
#our art - art that is more high effort than our comics yeah
Good time to let it be known that we also post comics to our dreamwidth account!! If everything goes to shit over here we'd probably move our stuff over there and wherever else our friends on our main go.
i don't have the energy to make a full comic right now, but i do have the energy to type. here's some suggestions i have, with special thanks to the people in the replies of the SP comic for pointing us in the direction of a few of these.
one idea that has been tried and true and will never go out of fashion (anytime soon) is physical journaling. however you go about this is up to you, but it may be good to try keeping dates alongside whatever you choose to write, as this will help you track notable fronts. this can also come with some issues, though, and many of these are solved by:
digital journaling. there are a thousand digital journal services out there, and the most accessible immediately would likely be your notes app. one tool specifically for plurality journaling is lighthouse, which is not shutting down as far as we can see. i'd advise against online tools until the dust has settled, but it's up to you. if you need a good desktop app and don't care if it's plural specific or not, we use rednotebook for diary keeping. it costs very little space or cpu and supports certain features like image embeds. it's just a little buggy on platforms other than linux, which it was natively designed for
mytter and selftalking by shinegori kumagai. a simulated twitter feed and a chatting app, respectively. these apps are good for single purpose, lightweight, android-specific needs. my issues with them, however, are that they run ads, and that they do not have dark modes (that i could find in settings). they're also entirely in japanese UI, although this is less of a barrier than you'd imagine. at most you'd need to tinker for a few minutes. this is what we primarily used to communicate years ago
antar. i have never used antar, but i hear for some people it supports their needs in a chatting app
notion. notion is a powerful general workspace tool that needs a good deal of tlc to turn it into anything useful for system specifics, but if you have experience with it, it seems like a great option
ourcana. similar to simplyplural, entirely offline. no mobile option so far (edit: I've been informed that it does exclusively on its discord)
hivemind. similar to simplyplural, with more features so far. early in development. entirely offline also, but it may not be that way forever. its support and release distribution methods are incredibly unwieldy right now. use this only if you're mostly alright with being your own buoy in the storm
a personal discord server with pluralkit or tupperbox
"okay, but we used sp and octo for the social feature. showing our friends who was fronting and giving them our information!"
for online friends:
do you all use discord? if so, a server with pluralkit or tupperbox and/or a front indicator status could go a very long way
do you all use the same social media? if you use tumblr, you could create an account for your system and give it to friends, which would give them insight into who is fronting at a given time
message signoffs. if you feel the need to do so, you could sign off your messages to your friends, so they're always aware of who they're speaking with
for offline friends:
do you see them regularly irl? if so, a physical front indicator of some kind could be very useful. they don't need to be obvious, if you go for discrete options you could sit them down sometime and show them which item means what exactly
for both:
you may, for the time, just have to expect your friends to ask you upfront who is around. if this is a legitimate need for you, you wouldn't be selfish or wrong for asking for that level of social accommodation. something to consider
(edit: i forgot to mention because i was exhausted, but pronouns.cc is a great place to house headmate information and it does naturally support plurality in how it operates. you can use it to show pronoun preferences, name preferences, terminology, flags, and write a short bio. it's great)
i hope everyone can find a viable alternative. i'm falling asleep, so i'll stop here. feel free to make many more suggestions in the replies
hi there! do you know of any friendly plural communities? i recently came to the conclusion that im plural but i dont have any plural friends and a lot of the plural communities seem very unfriendly and full of discourse.
We hate the discourse too, but it's very hard to get away from entirely in many online plural communities. One of the things that we prioritize when looking for community spaces is finding ones where people generally want nothing to do with internet slapfighting.
Some specific spaces that we can recommend:
Dreamwidth is a blogging website similar to LiveJournal, but the important thing is that the plural community there has been wonderful. It's a good bit smaller and you have to actively go looking (no algorithm!), but it's helped us more than a lot of other spaces, and we almost never see internet slapfighting actively happening there. We recently made a plural discussion community on Dreamwidth that might be of interest to you.
General alterhuman spaces can sometimes be very accepting. Alterhumanity is an umbrella for any experience that falls outside of "standard human", plurality included. Granted, alterhuman spaces do have their own discourse points, but it's been easier for us to avoid those points. The general social sphere of alterhumanity is broader, making it easier to dodge any infighting.
Some Mastodon instances might be worth trying out. Mastodon is a bunch of social networking platforms all interlinked together; each "instance" has its own rules and members. Plural.cafe is an instance specifically made for plural folks. It closed previously, but it seems to have re-opened since then. Queer and furry instances also tend to be fairly welcoming of plural folks- look for instances where people are openly plural and go with one of those.
If you like forums, then there is one forum specifically for plural folks that outright banned the discourse- it is very small, but the easiest way to increase activity in a forum is to start posting there yourself. Nonhuman National Park has a plural category that's better-populated and worth stopping by. If you happen to be a daemian, then there's a forum for that as well. Tulpamancy? There's a forum for that. DID? Plenty of forums for that, as well as online support groups. I'm sure that there are more if you look, and you can start your own forum at any time if you dislike the existing options.
If all else fails: make your own personal website, if you're so inclined. Toss up some contact info and throw it around. It's the farthest that you're ever going to get from the discourse- if someone shows up in your space and complains about seeing things that they dislike, then that's firmly their problem. Neocities has a thriving population of plural folks' websites that you may want to look through. Nekoweb also has a few plural websites if you'd like a different free host.
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And some advice on finding spaces that suit you:
If you see red flags while standing in the metaphorical entryway, then you may not want to walk into the space. Trust your gut.
The older the age bracket of a space runs, the more likely that it avoids falling into Discourse Hell (unfortunately). Age variety is also a green flag; having a wide variety of lived experiences present brings more perspectives into the space, which seems to help reduce infighting.
Likewise: if the space mentions origins or discourse stances in any depth, then the odds of discourse happening in the server go up significantly. If you want to avoid it entirely, then look for spaces that explicitly do not care why you exist.
Discord servers are a crapshoot. There are several hub servers (though they inevitably seem to run into ethical issues) that list many plural servers, and you can find hundreds of them on listing sites like Disboard, but finding discourse-free servers that have enjoyable discussions is a challenge. We've had the most luck looking for small 16+ or 18+ plural servers with minimal/no blacklists and a firm "let people define their own identities" policy.
There is a reason that we did not mention many mainstream social media sites above: mainstream sites' algorithms often prioritize showing you posts that get strong emotional reactions. This primes those spaces for infighting. Tumblr's plural community is often discourse hell- even the "safe" tags are usually loaded with infighting and harrassment. Twitter/X is infinitely worse than Tumblr. Bluesky ranges from "actually pretty good" to "Twitter 2.0". TikTok is somehow even worse than Twitter/X. Reddit is a 50/50, but even the general subreddits are regularly spammed with people complaining about the discourse. It is hard to avoid it entirely.
If you want to find community in these mainstream spaces, then you will likely want to aggressively filter your tags and posts. Block freely. Curate your space well, and you will see a lot less discourse.
You don't have to block every account that argues in your direction online, but if you run into someone and feel unsafe around them or don't want to deal with them, then block them. Blocking and filtering are your best friends. Eventually, you will have filtered out enough of the discourse to see actual community forming in the tags or spaces that you frequent.
If you see someone's website, blog, etc. and feel that you might get along well with them, then consider reaching out to them and saying hello. Connections happen when we take a chance and talk to each other. Start up a conversation and see if it works out.
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All that said: we've noticed that we're more likely to feel welcomed and known without judgement in plural-friendly but not plural-focused spaces. These spaces do often attract systems, but because they're not only comprised of systems, it's a lot easier to avoid the discourse. You might want to broaden your search net.
I would also suggest taking a look at this document: Safety in Alterhuman Spaces. Aside from having information on how to avoid accidentally winding up in a cult, it has additional red flags to watch for in online spaces. If you scroll far enough, then there is even a 5 page-long section specifically for plural community spaces.
You're welcome to reach out to us over DMs. We know one or two invite-only Discord servers that we might be able to recommend to you, and we'd be happy to chat if nothing else. We may or may not get on well, but we're probably not going to bite.
🍎 - What advice would you give to a singlet looking to be an ally?
Ask more questions. Every system is different, and there's no universal answer for most things. If you want to support the systems in your life, then ask them how they want to be supported.
I might point you at the plural etiquette questionaire if you want some ideas on what to ask, but don't be afraid to branch out.
Don't assume that one system's preferences are going to generalize to another system. Every plural group is going to work a bit differently. If you've met one system, then you've met one system.
Follow through on what you've learned. If a system says that they want you to know them individually, and you agree to do that, then put in the effort. Ask who's around, learn to spot them, and build relationships with each of them. Don't make a promise that you can't keep. It hurts when someone says that they support you and then does absolutely nothing to act on that support.
It's fine if you need some support yourself as you learn how to navigate interacting with your plural friends, but don't give up on trying if you struggle. Have a conversation about it instead. Folks can probably help you figure out whatever you're stuck on.
Keep an open mind. Systems can be weird sometimes. You don't have to totally understand what's going on to acknowledge and support someone. You've just got to hold space for them to talk about their experiences.
This article is taken directly from "For The Many", the (free!) book we wrote a while back. I figured that now is a good time to share it here.
Some people are assholes. That's a fact of life whether you're one or many, but it's harder to live with the assholes when they live inside your head. Maybe they hurt your body. Maybe they drive away your friends. Maybe they go on tirades about how awful you are. I could go on- there are a lot of ways to hurt people that you share a brain with, and all of them suck.
Headmates have reasons for hurting people. If they're lashing out at you or the people you care about, then they've got some idea or feeling driving that behavior. There are some common ones:
They're in pain. They're carrying rejected emotions, self-hate, or some other form of suffering and don't have the coping skills or outlets to handle it safely. Lashing out, hurting themselves, or causing other problems might drown out the pain, or it might project it out onto you. They may not even realize the pain they're causing belongs to them if they've buried it deeply enough. They just know that they feel better if they lash out.
They're frustrated and don't have a better way to process or express that.
They're responding to a trauma trigger. Something's happened that's called up the need to fight, flee, or otherwise do whatever it takes to deal with the situation. They might not know that it's a trauma response, or they might know but have no better way to deal with the need to act.
They're hiding something and hurting you is better than that thing being uncovered. Hurting people is a great way to discourage coming any closer to whatever they're hiding- if you poke the brain bear and it bites you, then you're eventually going to stop poking the brain bear.
They're avoiding something. It's easier to be a jerk for a quick rush of power than it is to admit that you feel powerless or alone.
It's also easier to think of yourself as inherently evil, bad, cruel, etc. than it is to admit that other people's decisions to hurt you weren't your fault.
They're bored and nothing else is any fun. They might not have hobbies, jobs to do, or much else to waste a day on. Getting a big reaction out of you is entertaining and free.
You're not going to pay attention to them if they don't hurt you. They might not have a place in your life, or their place might be conditional on doing whatever you want to do instead of what they want to do. If you've tried asking nicely, begging, screaming, manipulating, and whatever else it takes to get heard without any success, but being an asshole works, then you're going to keep being an asshole.
Your life sucks and they know it. The friends they're trying to drive away might be abusing you, codependent, or causing problems. Your family doesn't feel safe to be around. Your job is crushing you. Something has to change and you're not listening, so they've taken matters into their own hands regardless of the consequences. They're trying to help you, though it looks like they're hurting you because you don't have the context.
Someone they care about is being threatened (inside the system or outside), and they're doing whatever it takes to make the threat go away.
They hate themselves and believe that they deserve to be hurt. They might be taking it out on themselves and catching you in the crossfire, or they might be trying to goad you into hating them so that you hurt them and cause the pain that they think they deserve.
There are plenty of other reasons that someone in your system might be hurting you or others. If you can, ask them why they're doing what they're doing. They might tell you, or they might not, but it lets them know that you care what's bugging them. Keep checking on them from time to time, and they might open up more.
Sometimes You're the Asshole
It's easy to blame other people for hurting you, but sometimes they're being reasonable without your realizing it. You might be causing or perpetuating patterns in your system that hurt all of you, yourself included. Changing these patterns is more likely to stop your system from hurting you than almost any other action you could take.
If any of the following situations feel true, then you might want to consider whether your own behavior is contributing to patterns of pain and control in your system.
The others are only allowed to control your body when you give them permission, and they don't like this arrangement.
You know exactly what's wrong with the others and how to fix it, even if they think otherwise.
You are actively trying to kill, drive away, control, or get rid of the others, especially those that you don't like or don't want around.
The others aren't allowed to have friends, hobbies, or experiences for themselves. They're only allowed to hold beliefs that you agree with, and they can only act in ways that you approve of.
You might believe that limiting them is the best decision for your own safety, and it may be, but you don't place equal limits on your own behavior.
All of your spending money is yours. If the others spend any money, they're stealing from you.
You make major life changes that your headmates strongly dislike; their protests aren't important enough to affect the decision.
You regularly sell, donate, or destroy things that your system members bought or made.
Even moreso if you do this to punish them.
You do your best to ignore your headmates or convince them that they don't actually exist. You make a point of tuning them out, pushing them away, or trapping them inside.
The others claim that people in your life are actively hurting them. You maintain the relationships even if given concrete proof that these people are hurting your headmates.
If you see yourself in any of these situations, you're not a bad person. You're doing the best you can with what you've got. But doing these things makes it a lot more likely that your system is going to lash out in your direction, and you might benefit from trying to change your own behavior. Getting along better with your system makes it a lot easier to live your life, and making some space for the others' needs and wants helps with that.
It might be worth asking your system what they think about how you act and really listening to the answers- not blowing up if they're upset, but getting into a position where you can hear out the underlying needs and make a plan to do something about it together.
The Art of Being Nice
If someone in your head is hurting you, then you don't have to put up with their shit, but you also don't get to hurt them back. It's tempting sometimes. It can feel good. It can give you a sense of control or power over them, and it can feel like you're getting payback for what they've done to you. It might even scare them. But hurting them isn't going to make them stop hurting you. It's just going to make them think you deserve it, or it's going to drive them to hurt you worse in hopes you'll leave them alone, or lead them to lash out in hopes of re-establishing their "scary alter street cred". Hurt people hurt people, and attacking them back perpetuates the cycle.
You know what makes the assholes willing to change in the long run? Being nice to them.
I'm serious. Being nice to the asshole works. It can suck for a good while because they're going to keep being an asshole right back for a while, especially if they don't know how to handle people being nice to them, but it's the one thing that can get through to people. Yelling at them or locking them up in your head for hurting you won't fix any of the problems leading them to hurt you in the first place. It just teaches your headmates that they can't trust you to respect them. Being nice eventually rams it through that they can have their needs met without having to fight for it.
The best tool you have for preventing harm is your own support. Offering comfort, redirecting aggression, and working with your headmate instead of against them can be very effective in reducing how much harm they do. You may find that offering support is enough to stop them from causing harm in the first place.
I know it's tempting to yell at them, rant about them to friends, or throw them in brain jail so you won't have to think about them. You might be pissed off, scared, or confused yourself, and that makes it easier to do hurtful things. Try to find outlets for those emotions that have nothing to do with the person hurting you. Draw pictures of what your feelings look like- they don't have to be good. Punch a pillow. Write a note and then burn it. Do what you've got to do, but don't do things that might loop back and hurt them. No one likes to find out that their friends hate them because someone else badmouthed you to them behind your back.
It can be hard to offer aid to someone who's hurt you. Other headmates may be able to step in and give support more comfortably, and it might be worth asking inside whether anyone is willing to do so. If they're not willing to do so, then you may have to find ways to offer help without overwhelming yourself. You might be able to leave resources for them, create tools that they can redirect harm onto (such as a stuffed doll they can destroy), or find external friends that they can talk to about their feelings. Having any form of social support is an enormous help.
Harm Reduction
Sometimes headmates can put you or others in serious danger. If this is the case for you, then you may need to find ways to reduce how much harm they do until you can get to the point where they'd rather not hurt you.
It can be tempting to lock them inside your head. After all, someone can't kill you if they can't use your body. This can be okay in dire emergencies, but locking headmates inside shouldn't be your go-to solution, and it should never be a long-term plan. Trapping someone inside their head against their will can do a lot of harm, and these tactics tend to make everyone suffer much more than they have to. Imagine being trapped inside of your own head for an indefinite time, stuck watching someone else live a life you hate while unable to do anything but scream at them or stew with your own pain. It's a deeply unpleasant experience that would be at home in a horror movie. Being hurtful doesn't mean that a person deserves to lose all autonomy; it means that they need support and care while they find other ways to meet their needs.
There are some situations where you may have to hold someone inside against their will for a short time. For example, if a headmate is actively trying to carry out a suicide plan, then you might have to take action to protect yourselves if nothing is working to calm them down or dissuade them.
There are ways to do this with compassion and care. Always ask the headmate if they're willing to come inside and let you handle the situation first. Let them express any concerns about coming inside and do your best to address them (even if you personally disagree with them). Be honest, but respect their opinions and try to understand where they're coming from. They may be willing to take some time inside to safely express themselves if you show that you can handle the situation in a way that they approve of.
If you truly have no other choice than trapping someone inside against their will, then do it for as little time as possible, and as transparently you can manage. Give them a clear time duration for being kept inside ("we'll let you out in one hour- we get home then, so we can sit down and talk to help you feel better") and commit to that. Ideally, they shouldn't be locked up for more than a day. If you can get away with a shorter time, then do so.
Have someone in the system sit with them inside if possible, and check in on them yourself as often as you can. They may yell at you or lash out. Let them. Take turns if it's too much to tolerate, but having someone to talk to can help a lot with preventing fears of abandonment or rejection. It's easy to be afraid that the people who locked you up plan to throw away the key. Let them know that you have no intentions of abandoning or ignoring them, and that you'll let them out as soon as you can.
Ideally, you'll never need to lock someone inside. There are better ways to prevent serious harm from happening. One of the easiest ways is to make a contract with that headmate. In exchange for hurting you less or limiting themselves to certain kinds of hurt, you can give them something that they want without making them fight for it.
Making this contract shouldn't be a one-sided process; work with each other to find an agreement that works for everyone. They might veto some of what you ask for. If they do, rework the contract into something that both of you can follow. There's always a good reason behind the veto, and talking about it can help you figure out how to handle the situation.
If your headmate asks for something that you can reasonably give them (time in control, a physical object, support, tools, etc.) as part of their contract, then give it to them. Getting what you want makes it a lot easier to decide to be nice, and feeling cared for can help folks who lash out because they feel ignored or overwhelmed. This can be scary if they're asking for time in control, especially if they have a history of hurting people, but give them a chance to follow your agreement. You might be pleasantly surprised.
If your headmate asks for something that you're not willing to give them, then explain why you're not able to provide what they asked for. Let them explain why they want it and what will happen if they can't have it. Some things can simply be dropped from the contract if they turn out to be minor requests. Others might have unexpected importance. Keep an open mind and try to find another way to meet the underlying need or want behind the request.
Sometimes, people break their contracts. It usually means that it's written in a way that they can't actually follow. Try not to punish anyone for breaking their agreement. Instead, go back to the contract with them and rework it into something that they can follow. For example, if they had to break the contract and self-harm because they had no other way to cope with flashbacks, then you may want to add some means of supporting them during flashbacks to handle that situation. If they broke the contract and lashed out at a friend, then find out what set them off.
I'd honestly like to thank you a lot for the 'For The Many' pdf(?) In actually helped me get in understanding with two other headmates as of late. Especially the 'When your system hurts you' section. We've been dealing with a headmate who used to be dedicated to trying to hurt us mentally for a while, constantly trying to set us off. And it worked, a Lot. But thanks to that section we've finally been able to fully understand why they do it and work it out with them, thank you so much :]]
☀️🌊 using these to find later
You're welcome. Did my best to write it using what the others learned dealing with me, and what I learned dealing with them- I was the resident asshole, will still be the resident bitch when needed, and being "That Guy" teaches you a few things about how the way most people treat folks who are lashing out sucks.
Folks like me get a bad rap, and I see a lot of systems trying to shove us down or hurt us back instead of treating us like we have actual reasons for our behavior. Something something, "everyone deserves to be treated with respect and understanding and compassion because there are reasons behind their actions... unless they're too scary or mean to me, in which case they're Pure Evil and there's totally nothing more to it."
We've got motivations and goals and issues like anyone else. We've got things we're dealing with and lessons we've learned about what works to handle life. If nothing else, hope I got that through in the book.
People aren't evil. Or good. Or any other sort of default morality. We're all just dealing with shit in whatever ways we can manage. Sometimes those ways aren't pretty. Doesn't mean we're not worth working with.
random fun fact while we have a headspace, it really isnt Seen much while were not sleeping/resting. When we are doing stuff usually the most we’d get is a black void, some kind of prop, and 2 or so of the forms we spent so long locking down on
