Returning to the Motherland

This is a personal blog about my experiences in Singapore

[marciamonster]

Losing Myself

I don't even post on here anymore.. But I just need to let it out.

I'm just so uncomfortable right now. Met an NZ friend and he kept talking about how I'm uncheerful and negative and how I've changed. And that really got me down. Because I don't feel like I've changed. And now I just feel so tired and sad and I don't even know why I'm so affected.

Recently, I've been feeling uncomfortable for nothing. I don't understand why. Maybe I am losing my old self.

[marciamonster]

Embarrassed

You know how people look back at their old diaries or conversations from years ago and feel embarrassed? Yeah well I look at stuff I said like a few months even DAYS ago and feel embarrassed. So yeah. :'( 

[marciamonster]

smh

I could emotionally destroy you but I'm not mean ^^

[marciamonster]

Sigh SENSITIVE PEOPLE

For real I cannot stand sensitive people. This guy is just sigh... When I'm not in a super happy mood suddenly it's all about him? Wth. Not everything is about you my frand.

I would usually tweet about this, but some people should know they aren't worth my tweets. 

[marciamonster]

Yeah I legit feel uncomfortable

I wish my bffls were awake so I could tell them about this weirdo and how I feel unsafe.

They'd prolly be like - "ugh stop talking to me" though lol.

[marciamonster]

Okay. I don't mean to be MEAN but

You are CREEPY.

I wish I knew how to end a conversation with you. I'm slightly interested in what you're saying but like... some of the things you say are just.. no.

Please don't stare at me like that.

Please stop saying certain things.. I don't even know you? We met ONE TIME. Sigh. This was why I had that weird feeling about adding you on FB.

^what I want to say but I can't cause it's freaking rude.

[marciamonster]

Slob

I admit it, I am a slob. I have in fact worn my pajamas for more than 2 days in a row. I have also gone out of my living area in these pajamas. And yes most of the time it's about 30 °C here :)

I have also been sitting watching dramas and eating full packets of chips while drinking ice tea at 5 am in the morning before I finally go to bed.

There are clothes and other things all over my floor. The clothes I've washed have not been ironed and when they are dry I don't fold them... I just throw them in my cupboard.

Have a good day knowing that you're really not a slob at all compared to some people in this world

- I hope my parents don't read this -

[marciamonster]

SPLAT!

Yeah. WHAT'S THAT SOUND? It's a FRIGGN lizard getting scared again and being so scared, has just dropped from wherever it was. 

It's gross. And it is THESE KINDS OF THINGS that make me feel unsafe in my OWN HOME. Okay these aren't those cute little tree gecko lizards you are THINKING ABOUT okay?!

I'm not even overreacting right now.

I went to throw away my milo packet, and BLAM! One just went CRAYZAY on me! Okay. It's not CUTE. JUST LEAVE LIZARDS. LEAVE. Leave this world and never come back.

I'M NEVER GOING TO THROW AWAY RUBBISH AGAIN.

Oh wait. YES I AM. Why? WHY!??!?! Because these freaking lizards like to lick your food or something. They just LOVE rubbish dumps. Gross. Gross I say. GROSS.

So I can't win here really. I have to throw away my rubbish. And I have to meet those weird as creatures again.

I'm so traumatised. Why do they even need to leave their sections of tails everywhere and poo on everything. And make those "tsk tsk tsk" sounds? Why do they have see through thin as skin? It's CREEPY IN EVERY WAY POSSIBLE. They just need to get away from me ok. Stop trying to touch and communicate with me lizards. It's abuse. ABUSE.

[omidspissedoffcat-deactivated20]

my blogging technique is staying gone for a while and then posting 20 posts persecond

[marciamonster]

MY QUESTION TO YOU IS

Why are old people so cute?

[marciamonster]

A change so gradual I didn't even notice

Alright so today/yesterday I talked with my awesome old friend. Okay yeah he's both actually old as well as been my friend for a while. And I decided to creepily look through some of our old conversations ;)

What did I notice? Something very crayzay let me just say.

I used to be so crazily upbeat online. Like whut. I feel I was slightly over the top but it was also strangely entertaining to read... Also how did my chatting/typing style change so drastically?! I'm not even any less happy or anything xD

And that got me thinking... have I actually changed a lot?

Who knows

But I personally feel like (after looking back at the past few years of my life) I've achieved so many things that I never expected I would. And that to me is super encouraging.

Why? WHY? Because without realising it I've grown and done things that I would never have thought I could do. It gives me hope that I can actually be productive with my life!

So woo hoo! What an upbeat little message for y'all.

[marciamonster]

Scared to BUY CLOTHES

Okay from the beginning, I've hated shopping. Because WHY?! WHY?!?! I've always felt very JUDGED you know?

Like I've always felt that people are constantly judging you and thinking things like "why would she buy that?" or "that doesn't suit her" etc.

I shouldn't really be bothered about that and I'm actually starting to not care anymore.

BUT NOW THERE IS ANOTHER REASON TO BE SCARED.

Yup.

I don't know how to wash my new clothes :'(

I admit it. I'm a failure.

I even washed a random shirt our cousin gave us and turned my brother's white shirt pink. PINK.

Also there's all these different types of fabrics that can get seriously MESSED UP in the washing machine etc.

I don't even know anymore. WHY DO DIS CLOTHES?

[marciamonster]

Twitter or Tumblr?

Yeah sometimes if I have short things to post I'm not sure if I should put it on Twitter or not... but I reckon I should keep it all on Tumblr in one spot aye.

Yeah okay from now on I'll just post everything on Tumblr. I'll sort it using tags. Mhm. Good decision!

[marciamonster]

Me: *sneezes*

Stranger: Bless you!

Me: You're welcome :)

Me: ... oh my g-

[marciamonster]

Me: Hi yeye!

Grandpa: Yah.

[marciamonster]

Dad: Don’t go out right now. What will you do if you meet funny people on the street?

Me: Then I’ll laugh!

[marciamonster]

10 posts!