C a n v a s

proper mentally ill shittttt

[mari-exohexoh]

idk man maybe (not fandom,rant)

i find it so funny that people will look me dead in the eye and say i dont look autistic

'but you dont stim?'

i do ??? i just wasnt diagnosed till i was 12 or 13 so i just kind of refuse to in public

'but you wear makeup?' so?? i like makeup ?literally how does me wearing makeup mean i no longer have ASD

''but you go to discos ?'' yes i do ,i go drunk and with earplugs (elite tip btw you can get the little ring ones on shein for like 2 euro and they are actually legendary )

and everyones favourite - but youre so ,,,,,,,,,normal?

sir-my entire bedroom is a relic of everything ive loved since i was 10 ,all of my walls are covered in photos of people i dont even like any more and posters of animes and shows i dont watch anymore,i go to school for a grand total of 3 classes a day when i actually show up ,i eat a large selection of maybe 4 foods that arent sweets and i have 3 friends ,one of which is my cousin ,i come home from school and immediately go to sleep

[dreamquestofunknownkadath]

One of my favorite genres of post

[dreamquestofunknownkadath]

[vanilla-kitty]

[daughter-of-sapph0]

[maple-syrup-drinker]

I have these saved in a folder called "wrong picture, Kronk"

[mari-exohexoh]

harry potter you have such a white man name

snape assuming harry knows legiminancy in like first year cos he never makes eye contact but harry is just lowk autistic

dont question it i beam my autism onto characters i like

characters i beam my asd onto :

sherlock

ranpo

harry potter

hermione

tonks

sirius

himiko toga

hello kitty

everyone in the show 'rasta mouse'

the song '16 mirrors '

peter parker

tony stark

robert robertson

the girl from' needy streamer overload '

miku

kuromi from sanriyo

kiyoko from haikyuu!!

yachi from haikyuu!!

tim drake

hm.damian wayne (shows symptoms of asd due to upbringing,not disorder)

crybaby(the album by melanie martinez)

nezuko kamado(physically unable to communicate ,shows symptoms as a demon bcosidk shes relatable but maybe bos early puberty or smtj

hiccup

astrid (idk she just is )

hm: snotlout (adhd,i feel qualified ive been tested twice)

spencer reid

penelope garcia

jason gideon

percy jackson

nico d'angelo

severus snape

minerva mcgonagle (spelt it wrong ik )

ponyboys(i just relate to him heaviluy)

[lengthy-artery]

ashes to ashes, dust to dust, reeses to pieces

[hollowedskin]

And sluts to sluts.

[arsnof]

amen

[mari-exohexoh]

help me find a fic?

does anyone else remember a tim drake as peter parker fic ?

it was a series with two reaction fics included (avengers react to peter/tim and batfam react to tim/peter) and just peters side as the main fic (maybe? i think ?)

it featured child soldier peter parker who served in the army where he met deadpool/wade wilson

i think it could have been natasha romanoff/bucky barnes and peter was their biological hydra baby or smth ,could be thinking of another fic tho

they were all written with old ish concepts that arent so popular anymore(bad family batfam ,the avengers lowk hate spiderman till like halfway through the fic

peter was also kinda homeless-like he had places he could have stayed but just kinda didnt like to despite being an unclaimed minor

i think it was hydra peter parker

it was military kid peter parker tho i remember that much

[mari-exohexoh]

in the spirit of someone accusing me of faking asd -

things about me that are atleast vaguely attached to my autism

(happened on tt and irl ,not tumblr)

i have been in school for a little over a month since i just stopped going last november

the last two weeks i have only went in on a monday and still missed like atleast 2 classes a day

i havent went in at all this week and have yet to show up on a wednesday since joining

i have only eaten chicken noodle soup without chicken or veg and cereal(one brand,one type) for the last 6 months

the school had already called my mom complaining about my attendance

i have so much trouble paying attention and focusing that ive been tested for ADHD twice .i do not have ADHD ,thats just another part of my autism

i have had depression ,diagnosed since i was 9-10

i was called an alcoholic by my first camhs worker(11) ,current camhs worker(15) and the doctor that first referred me to camhs ;-(

i have a hoarding problem !i still have all my old artwork ,report cards , cracked ipad that doesnt work ,multiple full sketchbooks from when i was 7-8 ,posters i dont put up ,toys and dolls from when i was like 5 and every book,cd,dvd and even some tapes that i just kind of keep in my room (yes , not a good thing but if i dont laugh ill cry so suck it )

i have one friend that 1 isnt related to me and 2 has stayed my friend for more then 6 months at a time

2 if you count my cousin

i used to only speak in quotes until i was like 6 or so

much to my parents dismay the only quotes i was good for memorizing were from stupid nerdy shows,videos (httyd,fnaf,creepypasta,vocaloid type of stuff )

i was an extremely off putting child

i hated doing sports or just leaving the house in general

when we moved during covid multiple kids in my estate came up to the wall to see me because they genuinely thought i had died or gotten hospitalised

i have a genuinely really bad substance abuse problem !!

i regularly get so nervous about going to school that i genuinely make myself sick

im not good at talking to people ,like ever

even in my own house i rarely leave my room

i cant eat in front of most people ,since i was little i would eat even christmas dinners in my room or sitting on the stairs

one year for christmas instead of talking to literally anyone i just sat up stairs in my nanas house for the whole 8 hours ,my family thought id walked to my friends house down the road

i regularly forget to eat or drink for so long that i get dizzy,cant stand up ,get the shakes or lose my vision for a few seconds

i often end up ghosting my friends both online and in person

the only person to deal with that is bee ( watson)

if she doesnt hear from me for awhile and i dont answer she calls my actual parents to make sure im still like living

last november for no specific reason i can remember i tried to od

watson came over 2 days later to stay the night and called my mothers phone to talk to me while i was in the hospital

she gave out to a teacher for making me cry despite me saying i was actually fine and i just do that sometimes

i have crippling rsd and was told i had executive dysfunction at the ripe old age of 12 ,how that differs from depression im not sure

[mari-exohexoh]

parker au !!

peter parker that has just been bumming around new york since he was like 12 cause may and ben worked long shifts and he was a latchkey kid

one say hes just wandering and bumps into this massive guy and hes like apologizing profusely and the guy is just staring down at this scrawny little kid

like peter is tiny ,real skinny and short as fuck so he could probably pass as like 9 or 10

it just so happens that the massive ass dude is frank castle and hes just like ???? who is letting their TODDLER roam new york BY HIMSELF??

peter stops talking for one second and is just like ,,,,,hold on one sec

is that THE FUCKIN PUNISHER??? because like ,he knows this guy ,hes seen him on the news and on vigilante blogs so now hes staring at this guy aswell

franks just there expecting this kid to turn tail and run the opposite direction but peter just kinda waits there

because like to peter ? he knows this guy.knows he doesnt hurt kids -peter knows of all the back alleys in new york hes now safest in this one

frank castle is a g ,change my mind

[mari-exohexoh]

uhh harry potter smth idk

harry potter who still lived with the dursleys but was always in the council estate behind privet drive and at some point basically moved in with a sweet black lady who always called him baby and her grown up kids

the dursleys HATED her so bad ,not even just because shes black but because harry got used to actually being cared about

when he was teensy he was kinda just kicked out of the dursleys house during the day because they assumed he would stay in the estate with rest of the kids but the other kids didnt like much so he endud up just wandering

i love the hc that harry didnt know his name until he went to school ,which in ireland you start school at like 5-6 depending on birth month

so this lady sees this skinny little white boy wandering around by himself and is genuinely appalled when he just goes back to her house with her

she asks his name and after a long awkward pause he just says "boy" and shes just like ".......okay baby im just not gonna call you that "

by the time he gets to school age hes still just called baby despite knowing his name as student dont talk to him because dudley beats everyones ass and the teachers are too busy dealing w the other 25 hyperactive children to bother with him

his actual name is near completely forgotten

his hogwarts letter comes and it says Baby potter nd hes just like oh shit well that must be me

hagrid breaks down the door nd hes like "where harry at ???"

harry is just sitting there like "......oh yeahhhh,,,thats me i think??"

sorting hat calls out baby potter and everyone is severely confused

because like what ??? how did everyone know this kids name except him???literally how does this happen??

[mari-exohexoh]

talking about myself,,,,,again

i havent been doing too good recently

like back to where i started bad

ive only done too weeks of school and im not well

i think people tend to feoget im genuinely mentally ill becayse i rarel yt ake stuff seroiusly

but low and behold

im sitting in my room mildly drunk and actively oding because of fuck knows whay

last time i done this i was in the hospital for 12 houras

for literally no reaason too

it ws mostly melatonin and some radom shit i found o n the floor

in the spirit off this , here are some things about me nobody knows!! including watson

i otfen hallucoinate ,things like people bugs spiders and shit

i was was genuinely convinced i was stuvck in a game and i spent weks trying to figure ou how to get out

i once thought i was a prophet for a while which is funny because ive never been religoys

ive been suicidal since i was 7 and im currently 15 ,so over half my life

[mari-exohexoh]

okay so -peter take your clothes off episode two electric boogaloo

the hydra peter parker headcanon but he is so young and so sweet that nobody even considers that anything is off

like he cant remember most of that shit but sometimes he just kinda starts talking russian or latvian or something and no one thinks to question it

like hes sleepwalking or something and muttering a lullaby at like 12 and may just passes through getting ready for her night shift and all she has to say is " pet,youre russian again -get up" so he never considered that its not normal at all

in the ones where he lives part time at the tower just imagine may going over everything with stark and shes listing all the normal parent things and then like halfway through she like"oh yeah and hes russian sometimes dw abt it babes thats just how he is "

stark is just like "????" and then she carrys on with some shit like "-and make sure he eats like atleast once"

[mari-exohexoh]

im back!!!(+ random assorted hc's)

dw guys(me speaking to my walls) im back and just as much of a drunk as usual

i had to go back to school and it is not going well !!

deeply considering ending it and ive gone to maybe 2 days so far

its not even bad im just dramatic as shit and probably unstable on a good day

peter parker who just never grew again after the growth spurt that came with the bite so hes just perma 5'6 which was tall when he was like 13 but hes now 17 and still looks 14 max

harry potter who really needs new glasses but just kinda assumes everyone cant see shit and everyone else just assumes someone got him new glasses since the pair he got at like 6

spencer reid who hates eating food because he just has constant stomach issues so his stomach hurts if he doesnt eat but hurts slightly more if he does eat

hiccup who has the worst balance ever not even due to the missing foot hes just like that the missing foot only made it worse

hiccup that looks so much like valka that drunken berkiens mistake him for her and he has just given up explaining to near catatonic drunks that valka is still missing and hes just her son

unrelated but i find polyships so funny especially when its just a whole bunch of people that dont have time to have an actual s/o so the entire group just kinda ends up together mar trauma bonding or smth (*cough*avengers+pepper*cough**cough*justice league bar captain marvel *cough*) literally any other group /thats legal dont be incestuous or pedophilic guys pls/

[mari-exohexoh]

take your clothes off peter (unrelated )

peter parker but he has been a vigilante since he was like 13 and people think the reason he grows so fast and his voice changes so much is because hes a mutate and dont even consider the fact that hes just going thru puberty

peter parker but he felt bad asked for new bags so often that he just started bring plastic shopping bags

peter parker who is constantly starving because his metabolism enhanced with the rest of him but him and may are living paycheck to paycheck already

peter parker who is covered in scars because just because he heals fast doesnt mean a bullet wound wont leave a trace

peter parker who has learned how to wash blood out of clothes by age 14 because he cant keep throwing away clothes and he keeps popping his stitches

peter parker who is basically never home but it goes un-noticed because nobodys ever at home to check if hes there

peter parker who falls asleep in every theory class but still manages to keep good grades

peter parker who is 14 and seen so much bad in the world ,in his town that he cant trust people on a whim anymore

peter parker who can hear people crying from blocks away so he never gets much sleep

peter parker (tom vers.) that tells ned he goes in earlier then he actually does because he doesnt want to expose ned to the things he sees every night

peter parker who knows so many languages because not being able to communicate can end lives

peter parker whos senses are so enhanced that he suffers for it

peter parker that cant stomach placing his full trust in someone since mysterio

peter parker but Queens loves him so much that they have groups and medkits placed in hard to reach places just incase

peter parker whos entire class bar like 3 people know hes spiderman but hes protected them so much that they will never admit its him to a n y o n e

peter parker who literally part spider and since it doesnt show physically he has the instinct to make up for it so he can be literally feral sometimes and normal by the next period , everyone who genuinely doesnt know hes spiderman just thinks hes kid of weird

peter parker who thinks hes keeping his identity so secret and nobody has the heart to tell him

[mari-exohexoh]

harry potter aus kinda (can u tell i have commitment issues )

trans girl harry (fuck you jkr) but she has to stay in the boys dorm because privacy laws or smth and literally noone cares

like malfoy pokes fun but the lads who share a dorm with her are just like "so?" because theres pretty much no difference at 11 and as they get older its just like having a sister because harry will dress them up in drag and plait their hair and do their makeup and they are just so violently used to it that none of them bother

harry potter but he probably has a personality disorder but the dursleys would never put him in therapy and wizard are really behind on that shit so nobody can like try to prevent it

seamus has an older sister that he thinks acts just like harry sometimes but also hes like 11 and doesnt know what a personality disorder is so harry is just known to everyone as that bipolar cunt that spends weeks catatonic only to get up one day and decide that hes the only real person in the school and everytime his duvet falls off his bed theres little spots of blood that started showing up in

hermione and harry are autistic

hermione is diagnosed while harry is not and never will be ,while hermione got diagnosed after a "mental break" in 2nd year(12-ish)

hermione likes to gather information,to know things,not just academically pretty much allinformation and she will randomly mention niche facts .she also struggle with textures ,specifcally in food

harry struggles more with language and tends to script his words and even actions,in the wizarding world not many notice but the muggleborn kids pick up that most of his language consists of him quoting shows,book or movies.as they get older he starts talking in his own sentences but reverts to scripting when hes nervous or overly excited .he also struggles with texture but its usually just slimy things so he struggles more in care of magical creatures and potions

hermiones "mental break" was really just a meltdown but it actually affected people so she was sent home and made retake the exams she missed when she came back

hermione has more shutdowns then meltdowns because she was taught to be quiet and not bother others with her feeling ,which is something she still internalizes

harry has meltdowns but they show as anger outbursts even though he doesnt see it like that ,he tends to dissociate most of the time as he is not able to cope with his emotions

harry but he looks exactly like his mother by the time he shows up at hogwarts

his hair is grown out and ginger ,nearly to his shoulders the full way around

he was born with black hair and blue eyes that changed slowly as he got older with his hair being fully ginger by age 2

he gets mistaken as a girl at hogwarts and is accused of being a poor fake of the boy who lived

snape wont even look at him in first year because he looks just like lily did when they first met

[mari-exohexoh]

first year harry potter hc's !!!

harry never really knows whats going on

like at all he is so confused and half convinced that the whole school is just a fever dream

about two days into being friends hermione decided that harry is actually her brother and theyve just been going with it

like sirius black in oh no not again they just refuse to admit that they grew up seperately to anyone

no matter how "important" they are

minister of magic? they dont know what hes talking about maybe hes getting senile because hermione and harry have always been related

someone pointing out that they arent even the same race ? hermione was born first and they have different dads obviously or an accusation of racism (on literally anyone hermione has accused other black kids of being racist toward her for being black she gives no fucks)

someone pointing out that they are the same age so literally how? hermione got held back a year(she is the smartest girl her age ,probably in the country )

how come they only became friends a bit into year 1 ? no idea what they are talking about ,hermione diagnoses them with early onset dementia(they are quite literally 12 )

harry wasnt really sure how to be friends with people so in an effort to get along better with hermione he learned how to braid her hair and taught ron how to swear in other languages how to talk like he does (he talks like a street kid ,nobody wants to be the one to tell him and the wizarding world just thinks its his accent because they were never told that he grew up in the suburbs of london and not some fuckass little town)

hermione is french-jamaican she grew up mostly speaking french at home and grew up in france !her family moved to england for better work opportunities when she was 7

she has pretty much no accent and forgot to tell ron and harry so ron freaked out when she kissed his cheeks one morning until hermione explained ,while harry just thought thats what family does because petunia always done it to dudley when he was little

hermione teaches french to harry and ron (much to his dismay )

mostly so they can talk without people overhearing

hermione has never cut her hair and still refuses to so her father braids it for her every time she comes home so she doesnt have to deal with it at school

ron and harry make constant jokes about quirrel and hermione hates it

ron sleep in harry bed because harry has near constant nightmares and ron not used to sleeping alone anyway

they have woken up to neville and occasionally hermione in thhe bed aswell,by half way through the year dean and seamus have learned to ignore it

ron was nervous about ginny joining because he thought she might tell molly that he shares a bed with like half of gryfindor including a girl

seamus teaches literally anyone that will listen how to swear in irish

dean was 8 when his parents got married and fully remembers his fathers reaction to magic

dean and hermione get along because she taught his to twist his hair so he didnt have to shave it before school every year

ron's name is double-barrel ,ronald prewett-weasley, to honour the fallen relatives of molly

[mari-exohexoh]

marvel ish

irondad but its tony accidentally smothering peter because he forgets that he grew up with his aunt and uncle who werent prepared to raise a child and had to work more shifts so peter was often be left alone at home growing up and cant handle being coddled(parented) so he just fucks off to go spiderman-ing and forgets to tell stark just to come home to see tony rushing around calling his friends,high employees,avengers because he thinks hes been abducted or ransomed

and peter

doesnt know how to react

he takes at as stark assuming he cant take care of himself and takes stark joking about getting him a babysitter seriously so he does what he does best

he runs

jumps out an open window and runs,swings and hides

away from everything

sitting on top of mays and bens old apartment ,the one they lived in when he first got left there

he is reminising

on what could have been

what could have been if he didnt kill ben ,if he protected may like he should of

he is muttering to himself vague phrases and lullabies in italian and french and polish

songs sung to him as a child to help him learn more languages

languages may had learned in ways of being a nurse and taught to ben for fun ,taught to peter to help him feel more at home and to help people

and he continued on as he grew ,learned spanish and arabic fluently learned small amounts of gaeilge and gaelic and cantonese and malay just to speak to people

little kids who moved over and never got comfortable in english

and still he sits on the rooftop ,singing and humming when he forgets the words with glazed over eyes and a little too much passion

tony finds him singing still going even though both of them know that stark is listening

and yet stark is too upset to be mad

yes petr ran and worried him but he is used to being kept on a longer leash

he cannot cope with curfews and mealtimes and schedules

its just not something hes is used to

fourteen years left running free,wild and without care,he gets restless

[mari-exohexoh]

family based fandoms but they act like people i grew up around

bruce and dick but bruce isnt a whole lot older then dick so its more like orphaned siblings then father and son

dick is stumbling back to the manor at like 13 pissed drunk and bruce is just letting him in and telling him to change before e goes to bed becasue he doesnt know what else to do

snape seeing harry and his people sleeping in class and just leaving them be because its like 3rd year and he knows if hermione is also asleep some shit went down last night and they didnt get any sleep

peter,mj and ned but they grew up together so it never really became strange to see eachother naked because if it was warm they would just fuck off to the beach or someones blow up pool with no time to go home for togs' or change of clothes so it was really oh well if someone ad to change or strip to knickers(panties for you american fucks ) or boxers because like ,whatever theyve known eachother since they were like 5

steve and bucky growing up smoking cigarette butts off the ground even though steve would heave like hes dying every time he smoked

harry being violently and slightly homoerotically attached to hermione and ron because they were his first real friends that genuinely liked him

tony stark/natasha oversexualising him/herself because s/hes not used to people actually liking him/her

yelena rembering how natasha tried to keep her out of the red room

tim drake realising that the way he grew up wasnt normal and most peoples parents actually raise them but he never stuck around long enough for that

janet and jack drake trying to parent tim only to realise its too late for that

ponyboy who was never the same after johnny and dallas died

ponyboy who got cold and mean because he took what dally said to heart

[mari-exohexoh]

various harry potter associated things !!

silver spoon (erin lecount) but its just ron and harry in first year

harry going to school thinking he finally got away from all the rumours and shit talking in privet drive only to go up to the sorting hat and hear literally everyone talking about him

harry growing up being taught by snape slowly realising that he will always just be his father to him

hermione crying in the girls bathroom in first year after realising that its just the same as primary school and nobody wants to be her friend

ron becoming friends with harry and just knowing that he will always just be 'harry's friend'

harry sitting in snapes first class thinking its just like school in england

harry learning that his parents had friends that would have happily took him in and he wouldnt have had to spend ten years sleeping in a broom closet on a cot

harry coming into to first year with bleach scars and callouses on his hands thinking its normal until another kid grabs his hands

harry being starving in between years because he can eat proper amounts of food at school but is fed scraps at home

harry being the only person ron can talk about growing up poor with because harrys been in the same shoes despite technically being minted

hermione coming to school thinking she would fit in and everyone would be as smart as her because she assumed shes different because shes a witch , only to get made fun of for being a know it all after her first class

snape being unwilling to admit that harry is anything but a copy of his father to the point its harmful

the other teachers being shocked when harry came in to school so different to what they expected of him

harry wearing his uniform on weekends in first year because he has no other clothes that fit him

ron ,dean and seamus sharing clothes with harry so he doesnt have to wear his uniform everywhere

harry on the train wondering if hell have to do the dishes at hogwarts