Just add more to my disdain for Invisigal - she has asthma, right? And it was getting worse, leading to her working for Shroud to get the augment for her lungs.
But, uh, Invisibitch is a smoker. She smokes regularly enough that it pisses me off. Because, again, she makes these choices that are shit and yet I am meant to like her.
as someone who had a doctor saying to him "with your condition you can't smoke. you really have to quit" on top of having hypochondria and thinking he has lung cancer every other month or two, and who, as you can guess, still smokes till this day... i'm yet to understand why people are going into a rage mode over the fact that someone can do something that is bad for them even when they have additional reason to not do what is bad for them
or maybe i just also don't deserve any love and/or sympathy. might also be true
People deserve love and sympathy on an individual basis.
That doesn't mean though that you have to validate and passively permit every bad choice they make for themselves.
They can still make those choices, but it's ridiculous to expect that no one will say "I told you so", if they made them in an informed way.
Freedom of choice and being an individual deserving of love and sympathy does not preclude someone from facing the consequences of their actions and having to take responsibility for them.
sometimes people try to tell me that scientists are paragons of rationality and I have to break it to them that I have yet to work in a lab that didn’t have at least one weird secret shrine in it
The p-XRD machine I manage will stop working properly, if there isn't a piece of tape stuck to the front of it's cooling-unit.
If you remove it, the sample loader for the flip-stick setup will start not finishing it's component check properly, which will cause the whole thing to get stuck in an activation loop that can only be stopped by a forced restart.
Doing that though can also cause the detector to refuse activating properly, which sometimes means you'll have to call in a technician from the company who made the instrument, to repair it, who charge a lot of money for that service.
I have stopped questioning the validity of the tape.
Always awkward to explain this to new doctorate students though.
Also, each of our NMRs has it's own Pokémon sticker, which is used to refer to the individual NMRs in our faculty.
A few years back we got a new NMR, a smaller one mostly for the students to use during their lab courses.
By that time the guy who gave each NMR it's own sticker had left the university, so it never got one.
Guess which one of the instruments randomly decided to have it's supercondutor-magnet quench, once during summer break?
We think it happened because it was jealous and decided to be spiteful.
Anyway, it's called Suicune now.
We gave it a legendary to make up for the grave insult of having left it without it's own sticker for so long.
me: what do they bring to each other's lives? what do they admire about one another? what draws them to each other?
story: love :) :)
me: ok... so what is that going to look like now?
story: like love :) :) :)
me: are their personalities going to clash at all? are they going to have arguments? learn to compromise for each other? will they need to adapt to sharing their life with another person? is it going to be smooth perfect harmony from day one? are they going to be always together? see each other sometimes as their occupations allow? how does this relationship affect their lifes.
earlier this week Twitter user ppuccin0 tweeted about a fashion article that advised against tops with large floral patterns, saying the wearer was in danger of looking like a "ロマンティックおばさん," or a "romantic auntie." the tweet went viral with many agreeing that a "romantic auntie" sounded like a very nice thing to aspire to be, and some even posted illustrations or photos tagged with the trend
illustration by Toyota Yuu (author of Cherry Magic)
illustration by 141shkw/Sora Midori (author of Beautiful Curse)
photos by Takinami Yukari (author of Motokare Mania and Watashi-tachi wa Mutsuu Ren'ai ga Shitai or "We Want A Painless Romance")
illustration by m:m (mangaka of Matataki no End Roll)
illustration by ooinuai (mangaka of Onikui Kitan)
illustration by ma2 (mangaka of The Reason We Fall In Love)
I just… beyond the surface level of enjoying a new game with new relationship dynamics to explore, I really can’t feel much about the DAV companions or their romances.
They all just seem so disconnected from the story, from Rook (who in turn is entirely disconnected from all kinds of feelings because Rook is just Employee Of the Year), from the world, from themselves. I feel like Cole here, looking at them and saying in my gentle, fleeting voice: even the dwarves don’t really remember dwarves.
It really feels like the interpersonal relationships are written by the HR person who sits with you as union rep to tell you that you should use a positive language, that "we are all simply employees here, it doesn't matter what title you have", give a little pep talk about teamwork and how to get the job done. That's what we're here for. Everyone's equal. We all want the same thing here, your boss is your friend. Have you tried talking to this person, see their side of things, mmmm?
It's just... yeah, they're cute, all of them. But why do they like each other? Why do they want to be with Rook? Who are they even in relation to the world of Thedas, what do they believe in, what have they overcome, what do they hate, what sort of prejudices do they carry around?
I have no idea.
And since I’m also replaying DAI again, I wanted to compare these romances to my canon romances in DAI.
With Blackwall, you immediately get a sense of attraction and a sort of flirting on his part that suggests this is something he falls into quite easily - “you know a lot about girls” to quote Cole - BUT it’s also something he really, really thinks he shouldn’t be doing now. Why? He is tied to the Warden plot, if you bring him along you get a sense of a man hiding shit but you don’t really understand what, and he still comes to see you (flying/climbing up your balcony wall idk) because he can’t step away. You get to tell him he’s a good man even though you know shit about that at this point, like with Anders in DA2 you can give your PC over to this passion/love despite knowing that there’s something off, something potentially harmful or dangerous. There is conflict, there are things that jar, that can even make you uncomfortable.
Blackwall as a character is open and compassionate. He approves of mercy, shows mercy, he isn't judgmental of others. In sharp and delicious contrast Blackwall’s crime is vile. He isn’t bound by any sort of oath, he can back down, there is no greater good whatsoever in his actions. It’s inexcusable. And yet. YET. You can CONTINUE THE ROMANCE. He killed a wagon full of kids, THEN RAN AWAY AND LET HIS MEN TAKE THE BLAME and hates himself so much that he tries to become someone else by erasing his previous self from the face of the earth. You can still kiss him and tell him you want him to live and redeem himself. It’s fucking incredible to think about this in the light of Veilguard actually. Your LI, the child murdering coward.
With Iron Bull you have the doubts all spread out on the table. He’s a spy, how could you ever trust him? He also doesn’t respond to your flirting, why the hell not when you hear through ambient dialogue that he’s fucking half the chantry, isn’t he supposed to be a fuckboy? But he’s fun, he’s a mystery, he’s got fascinating banter with everyone, he’s brought his found family along, he’s a Qunari who at least somewhat believes in the Qun - he’s got AMAZING conversations with Solas that characterizes Bull as deeply intelligent (and Solas as much more caring than he’d let on) and knowledgeable about surprising things like architecture. Cole, as always, gives us more insight into Bull’s mind along the way and even before the offer to ride the Bull, the idea of him has been through some adjustments. You change his idea about a lot of things and in return, Bull challenges your idea of him, your idea of the Qun, your idea of the world and possibly, depending on how you react to his romance, your idea of intimate relationships. The game’s writing allowed me to imagine a rather frumpy circle mage in her mid 30s reluctantly forming a friendship with this strange fellow, only to find herself very much attracted to him, only to find herself being cared for in a way she would never have let anyone do before simply because Bull told her that was the only way he’d be with her. This is how we’ll do it, are you in? Your LI, the service top Qunari spy who is terrified he’ll run mad without his belief system to dictate his actions.
And Solas. I mean mythical love stories culminating in mythical endings aside, what I really fell for in this relationship was the refreshing dynamic not of enemies to lovers but of two souls just sort of connecting instantly during strange events, taking a few hard looks at each other and going oh shit it’s you, you get me HOW is it possible you get me when nobody else does? There’s so much external drama surrounding them, which is why I personally LOVE and ADORE how calm their internal connection actually is. They know, so early in the game, that this is it. You’re my home, you understand the bones of me, you ask questions no one else thinks of asking, you care about the world in a way I haven’t seen anyone else do. He is LITERALLY the only one who understands your Lavellan when they make her the herald, when she protests and they keep pushing and pulling and sing their song after Haven, and Solas is there to be sarcastic about it. If nothing else, I'd fall in love with that. And there’s this sense of impossibility from the very beginning, a sense of it being almost unreal because the first kiss is in the Fade, the second is in a frenzy where Solas goes from 0 to I LOVE YOU, MY HEART and then leaves and you know, you know how this is coded and YET - he seemed so wise and kind and sad, it goes like this, the fourth, the fifth. And even with this connection of souls, things chafe - he’s an absolute bastard about certain things, he mocks your heritage and you don’t know yet that it’s because a huge guilt blanket rests on top of him since thousands of years back, you can just argue back and receive his disapproval. He says it’s selfish of him to start anything with you yet he does - WHY DO YOU DO THAT, SAD EGG? Your LI, the ancient god of rebellion, treachery and lies, depending on the story.
Even beyond my favourites, there are conflicts. Sera is A LOT (affectionate) if you're an elf, with Cullen you get a substance abuse story-line tied to his general dismay about his past as a really fucked up templar, Dorian has personal trauma and cultural prejudice he struggles with for the entire game, Vivienne is so complex half the fandom hates her and has very awkward and uncomfortable banters with almost everyone (save for Bull because he treats her like he would a tamassran), Cassandra is constantly challenged in her personal beliefs, very clearly reflected in her conversations with Solas and Cole has a whole personal plotline about deeply existentialist matters. What does it mean to be alive? Who is a person and who gets to decide that? He could have been a person, Varric says. Isn't he already? Does this unit have a soul? Not to mention that Cole functions chiefly as a speaker of truths, bringing a lot of complexity to the others.
DAI is not perfect by any means but I feel like I know these bastards. I feel like my PC or even I could actively dislike some of them, because they are written to create dynamic conflicts inside and outside of their own arcs. I can write fic about them, I can imagine what they're doing during the events of DAV because I know them.
Because they are written like actual people in a world where some people have power over others and some people have been raised with a certain belief system and some people just have shitty takes on society, may they learn.
Yeah, how dare i be disappointed in a game series that has followed a certain tone and theme for three games, and has always been narratively complex, and about navigating hard decisions and moral dilemmas, structual injustices, deep characterisations, beauty and tragedy in tandem, rich worldstates and character arcs and thin lines between heros and villains... it's almost as if my disappointment stems from care and passion for dragon age, and not from an unwillingness to accept change, or a misplaced sense of nostalgia. It's almost as if people are allowed to criticise a thing and discuss its flaws, while also enjoying other aspects of it, and voicing their opinions on the world's most unprofitable social network to a handfull of followers and mutuals, isn't going to make any meaningful dent in the game's success
So in DS9, the very first day Sisko arrives at the station, before meeting Kira, he is told "have you ever met a Bajoran woman?" and then kind of explained that they have a very strong character in what humans perceive as aggressive way.
We do not meet many Bajoran women as deeply as Kira, but some we meet sometimes fit her "no fucks found" attitude. Even Leeta, while more cheerful and naive looking, has a strong character and doesn't put up with bullshit. She may look more "girly" to humans (boyish to Bajoran?), but she still runs low on fucks.
Now, Kira's boyfriends that we meet tend to be calm, compassionate and caring in a way some human men are, but may not be perceived as very masculine.
So, culturally, we could say that "feminine Bajoran women" are more masculine to humans and "masculine Bajoran men" are more feminine to humans.
And then Ferengi, who are like an exaggerated old school version of how humans are.
In all this, we have Rom. Ferengi think he is a lesser man (=less masculine) because he doesn't know how to make profit (a trait that has been insisted to be "male"). He is insecure and shy. He doesn't even walk with the same allure as the other ferengi men, including his son. And he starts a revolution by forming a union as maybe the only masculine trait of showing character and trying to be in control of a group of people. Something clearly against Ferengi's rules and customs.
And Leeta, who is maybe a bit queer to Bajoran eyes is attracted to this maybe a bit queer Ferengi. This maybe a bit masculine Bajoran girl is attracted to this maybe a bit feminine Ferengi boy. And then he does the very masculine Bajoran/feminine Ferengi thing of caring for others with the strike.
I don't usually write meta on account of doing my best to avoid Fandom Drama like the plague and even a hint of Star Wars meta is like a siren call to Drama but. I have Thoughts about this scene and now I'm going to share them and if you're here for anti-Mace Windu thoughts this is not the post for you my friend.
Every time I see meta or reference to this scene it's used as more 'proof' that Windu was totally the worst and we shouldn't feel at all bad about him being maimed and thrown to his death which sure is a take, and on the surface I can understand why. When you don't bother to look more into that scene it does come off as Windu being a rude bitch to a child whose dad died in front of him, which is pretty uncool.
But this is a meta post and I am here to look more into this scene. I want to start with the concept of forgiveness, because when I go, I go big. I feel like a lot of the antipathy toward this scene (and by extension toward Windu) come from the fact that again, on a surface-level reading, it looks like Windu is demanding Boba's forgiveness for Jango's death, when we all know that's not how that works. That is, in fact, a concept that to most of us is viscerally offensive- our knee-jerk reaction is something more along the lines of "screw you i resent you more now" than it is "well okay that seems reasonable". Because you can't just demand somebody's forgiveness and expect it to happen. All that is is another wrong against the person you've already wronged. It's pure conceitedness and self-interest.
It's also not what Windu was trying to say to Boba in that scene. Not even remotely, in my opinion, and I'll explain why.
Think about the way the Jedi teach, particularly the way they teach philosophical concepts- they don't simply tell their students what to think, they tell them something and then make them think about themselves. Jedi are always expected to look deeper into a lesson to see what they can get out of it, this is the way Windu's lived his whole life, of course this is the way he speaks to Boba even though Boba's not a Jedi.
It's not exactly a hot take to say that Mace Windu and Boba Fett have very different ways of approaching the world. This is important to remember, though, because it guides the way that Windu interacts with Boba in this scene. When Boba swears he's never going to forgive him, Windu looks him in the eye and says, "Well, you're going to have to." And when he says that he's not saying that as some kind of ultimatum, he's saying that as a statement of fact.
What Windu is really saying to Boba in this scene isn't "forgive me 'cuz i said so". What he's saying is "your father cannot come back, and you will have to find a way to live with that so it doesn't consume you". Because what was Boba saying when he said "I'll never forgive you"? It wasn't just "I hate you", it was "I hate you, and I hate you so much that I don't care who I destroy in the process of destroying you". Sure, he expresses regret for all of the actual human beings that died because of his actions, but he follows it up with an utter refusal to acknowledge that those actions were wrong. What he was saying was "I hate you, and I hate you so much that I don't care who I destroy in the process of destroying you, even if it's myself."
Boba has done some genuinely horrible things by this point. He's put other children's lives at risk. He's crashed a star destroyer and killed who knows how many people. Maybe he didn't shoot the injured clones himself when they went in and took their hostages, but they wouldn't have died there if it weren't for him. He is directly responsible for the death of a man whose only crime was walking through the wrong door at the wrong time. He has charged headfirst down a path of death and destruction that will spread misery everywhere he goes.
And now Windu- who has just lost all of these men, lost Ponds, nearly lost his own life to Boba's actions- is looking down at this twelve-year-old boy, and he doesn't want this for him. He so badly doesn't want this for him, but he cannot make Boba's choices. All he can do is try and tell him "this path you're on is not worth it".
Because that, in my opinion, is what he means when he says "You're going to have to." He's not saying that he's entitled to anything from Boba (because he might have killed Jango in self-defense, but his motives and intentions don't change the fact that his actions hurt Boba), he's saying that Boba has to let go of that hatred before it ruins his life.
Which is exactly what it does! What happens to Boba in the end? He continues alone down his path of hate and misery, until he gets eaten by a sarlacc and enslaved by Tuskens. He had so little, and he loses even that. And it's no one's fault but his own.
But.
But. Finally, so many years after he started down that path, he does what Windu said. Finally, he lets that anger go. Finally, he gets to become what he could have been if he hadn't let himself be consumed by his rage. And that's why I liked The Book of Boba Fett, despite its flaws, because we get to see that change. After forty-odd years of strife, Boba finally gets to be a man at peace. And that's exactly what I think Windu would have wanted.
A trusted reference in the field of psychology, offering more than 25,000 clear and authoritative entries.
This is actually the way psychology defines forgiveness.
Forgiveness isn't about making the people who hurt you feel better or granting them "absolution".
It's about you, as in the person who got hurt, and trying to move on from that, for your own emotional health.
It's about actively letting go of the negative emotions connected to that hurt, so that anger, hate and feelings of vengeance won't constantly haunt you anymore and prevent you from living a fulfilled life. It's about not perpetuating/starting new intergenerational trauma and constantly pulling hurts of the past to the forefront of your mind to basically retraumatise yourself again and again.
It's also very in line with the teachings of the Jedi. So it makes sense for Windu to say it to Boba like that.
If he doesn't forgive, then his path will be dominated by anger, hate and violence.
We very much see that that leads him to a lonely life, disconnected from other people, where he ultimately ends up in Sarlacc-pit, loosing what little he had for himself and never finding happiness for most of it.
But people who never actually try to understand what the Jedi's philosophy is and why they follow it, obviously won't see it like that. So it always just gets misconstructed as them being terrible, emotionless robots who aren't allowed to love anyone or anything.
"Luke Skywalker isn’t like the old Jedi. He saves Vader with his attachments!”
Wrong!
Luke Skywalker, at the end of Return of the Jedi, after his confrontation with the Emperor drags Darth Vader through the destructing Death Star. He’s desperate, knuckles white under the heavy weight of his father’s body, a little boy dragging his dad to safety. He sets Vader down for a moment, to catch his breath or maybe to get a better grip. He goes to grab Vader again, but Vader, uncomfortable and in pain, asks Luke to take off the mask. He wants to see Luke through his eyes instead of the eyes Palpatine built for him. Luke refuses, says that removing the mask is a sure way for Vader to die. Luke doesn’t want Vader dead, he wants Vader alive. Not to hold him accountable for his many evil acts, but for the same reason why Luke Skywalker can’t kill Darth Vader; Vader is his father and Luke loves him.
And yet, after a moment, Luke removes Vader’s mask. He doesn’t want to, he hesitates, but he removes the mask with enough slowness to allow Vader to take it back. In that moment, Luke sets aside his desire for Vader in his life, sets aside his desire to see him live, and sets aside his entire mission, the reason he was even on the Death Star in the place. In his compassion for his father, Luke stays with Vader until he dies. It is this moment where we see him be the best damn Jedi he can be. I’d even argue that this moment is the greatest example of non-attached love we see. Because Luke lets Vader go! He lets his father die, and in some ways, by removing the mask, he too kills Vader, he stays with him until his last moment, gives him the kindness of granting his last wish and finally chooses Vader.
And Luke doesn’t have to do this. If Luke Skywalker’s love for his father was an attachment, he would ignore Vader and continue dragging him to the escape pod, put his desire for a father as his central focus and ignore Vader’s wants and discomfort. Maybe he would even save him. But he doesn’t. Instead, he watches as Vader dies.
He builds a Jedi burial for his father and watches it burn the remnants of Vader and Anakin Skywalker away. He mourns Vader, he mourns what they could’ve had as father and son, considers what ifs and maybe-if-I-did-this. Vader/ Anakin is released from his mortal body, from his ‘crude matter’ and Luke lets him go. He says one final goodbye to Anakin. Then, he joins Leia, Han, Chewie, Lando, and the rest of the Rebels and celebrates their victory. He lives in the present and celebrates what he has instead of what he lost.
Luke Skywalker is THE Jedi. Everything about Luke Skywalker serves as the foundational cornerstone of the Jedi, everything about the Jedi as a culture and philosophy is reflected in his character. Luke’s desire for the New Jedi Order isn’t to throw away the values of the old Order, but to vitalise them, breathe life back into dying lungs, and rebuild a path that people set out on their way to destroy. (Yes, his Order is different from the Old, but that’s because it has to be. He doesn’t have the resources or the safety of the Old Order.) The philosophies of the Jedi are difficult and they aren’t for everyone, and like the perfect Jedi that Luke is, he struggles and stumbles and sometimes he even rejects it. But, no matter how far he falls, it is a way of life he chooses again and again and again. It is a way of life that welcomes him back each time
Also, and I never get how people don't see this, the whole final fight-scene that comes before this, with Luke, Vader and the Emperor in the throne-room is about LETTING GO of personal attachments, to save the galaxy in the end.
The Emperor is provoking Luke, by targeting the rebellion fleet and his friends, and he starts to give himself to the dark side, just like Palpatine wants him to. He only pulls back when he's close to killing Vader, looking at his mechanical hand, in a symbolic way showing that he's becoming just like him. He then lets go of the attachments he has to his friends that in the last movie made him nearly get himself killed, and not actually save anyone, by leaving his training with Yoda prematurely, only being saved because Leia thankfully was able to hear him through the force and come rescue him. He realises that his friends choose to fight this fight and he would betray everything they and the rebellion stand for, if he gave into the dark side in some misguided attempt to "save" them.
The same happens for Vader. Vader wants Luke to rule the galaxy with him together, as father and son, that's the attachment he has. He lets go of that as well, since he realises that that will never happen without twisting Luke into something that he doesn't want to and at this point would rather die than become. He then defeats Palpatine, letting go of his attachment to that dream of a future, even if it kills him in the end.
I mean the movie in called RETURN of the JEDI and never, in the whole of the OT, was it ever implied that the philosophies of the Jedi were wrong or evil or that they needed to change. Luke becomes the Jedi he's meant to be by letting go of his attachment and Vader finds his way back to the light by doing the same. There is no speech or implication that "going forward Luke will make sure to rectify the mistakes of the old Jedi-Order, for a new and better future" and I don't get how people still keep coming to that conclusion.
