got a lot of brains but no polish

Mark Badun. 22. I still like books better than most people, but I'm trying to be better about that. Auradon State dropout, currently selling books at Tale as Old as Time to pay rent.

[markbadun]

moving on

A very nice concept. One I’m guessing you know I’m not very good at, given that you sent this. I’m working on it, I understand in theory it’s unhealthy to keep letting my past define my present. Sometimes it’s harder not to fall into in practice, but I am seeing someone about my issues and I’ve been working on changing the actual behaviors that make me miserable instead of just being like “fuck everything, it’s my shitty childhood/shitty father’s/shitty environment’s fault I’m this way and I’m not actually going to do anything to change it.” I can’t keep making the same stupid, self-destructive choices and expect different results and I’m starting to get that now. It doesn’t mean sometimes I don’t still want to revert to that default though, because it is easier.

[markbadun]

the story of us | lark

Mark typically made it a point not to partake in Auradonian events that didn’t involve liquor, but it had just so happened that the basket bidding directly coincided with lunch time. He had been pulling double shifts at Tale as Old as Time the past few days and had failed to get up early enough to do the whole grocery shopping thing in like a week. Plus, his therapist kept bugging him to give people a chance instead of immediately becoming a monosyllabic ass who spewed sarcasm. And this seemed like a good chance to try that, seeing as he’d be on even awkward footing with anyone he ended up hanging out with, if he even ended up winning. Which, he reasoned, was pretty unlikely given he was lacking in funds compared to most of the AKs.

He’d seen a couple of interesting baskets come and go, including one with some Anne of Green Gables books - not his favorite but he still had opinions on it - but someone had outbid him on it. Then he’d seen a basket held up with a bottle of wine and little book-shaped chocolates. It seemed fair enough to assume the person associated with it could read and drinking seemed like a good way to ease tension, so he went for it. A few other people put in bids but he was happy enough when he was declared the winner, until the auctioneer announced that of all people, his ex-girlfriend was the basket’s maker.

He felt the color drain from his face. He should have really thought this one through, of course Leilani would put something book-themed in her basket. He really should have seen this coming, she really couldn’t have made it easier for him without throwing a copy of Wuthering Heights in there. He kicked himself for not adopting the opposite strategy of bidding on baskets that were out of his comfort zone and therefore allowed him to avoid awkward run-ins like this. But it was too late for that, he was in it now. And it wasn’t like he actually had an issue with spending the afternoon with Lei, it was just that she obviously wasn’t going to be thrilled with it. He mentally wrestled with how to handle it, the decided the best thing to do was to just offer her an out. He didn’t mean to fuck this all up for her if she was trying to put herself back out there and he definitely didn’t want her to think he was trying to force her to spend time with him, which was definitely a move he would have pulled when he first ended up in Auradon and basically only ever talked to her.

Mark waited until all the bidding was finished and made his way over to Leilani, trying his best to not let his nerves show. “Hey,” He said quietly, trying not to startle her. “Look, I’m really sorry about this. I don’t know if you like planned to have anyone bid on your basket but I’m happy to bow out. I swear to Hades, I had no idea that it was you when I was bidding. I was just trying to get lunch out of this but I know that this is a less than ideal situation and I’m not going to hold you to the whole basket bidder-basket maker stipulations.”

@leilaniwaialiki​

[wildspringday]

— Kazuo Ishiguro, in his 2017 Nobel prize acceptance speech

[markbadun]

text 💬 marky kate

Mary Kate: That's exactly what that means, thanks a lot for making me live with that terminology though. Will's been training for this his whole life so I guess maybe that means he's less likely to fuck up than other people? You could also just have a kid with a potty mouth and leave it to their teachers to deal with, but it's easier to not curse than you think. I mean, don't you turn it off in classes or at work anyway? Yeah, but that wouldn't be just ANY baby. It would be THE baby, the media coverage would be out of control. I guess so? My parents had their 25th wedding anniversary a couple of years ago and you see how old Robbie and I are, they didn't really waste any time. Who else are you counting as a Chad-like problem besides Chad, though? That's a question I NEED to know the answer to.

Mark: I was trying to be tactful and not use the words "turkey baster" because it sounded tacky. Well, yeah, but uptight parents probably aren't a picnic either. Kids love to rebel. I mean I rebelled pretty hard and my dad literally couldn't even have been bothered to pay attention. I can only imagine how much more fun it would have been if I'd actually been oppressed in some way. Well, I don't do classes anymore. I dropped out because it turns out you can only not show up so much before someone starts to notice. And as far as work goes, I find being as monosyllabic as possible helps me get by. And if that doesn't work, at least I'm talking about books which is easier than dealing with anything else. Yeah, well, I feel like there's going to be a lot of THE babies. There's six thousand royals, they'll all procreate. If anything, scandal babies will be more of a press field day. If Hollywood's anything to go by. Well, there's his girlfriend for one.

[markbadun]

text 😉 hark

Harriet: You'd be amazed at what crew members might do to defend their captains honor when she's not watching. Harry I suppose would at least do it for a purpose; Calista Jane, I believe, would simply find it fun.

Harriet: How absurd. It's a shame that the children who have the aliens are so young; that seems like an ideal line to use on them.

Mark: I'm just thankful someone managed to get a lead on one of them while they were young, I can only imagine what the Isle would have been like with two CJs running wild.

Mark: Ew, thanks for putting that in my head. Now that terrible line is ruined forever for me. What about you? What's the worst you've got?

[markbadun]

text 💬 bark

Bowie: Is it Mouse Trap? Pleaaaase tell me we're playing Mouse Trap!

Mark: Do I really strike you as a Mouse Trap kind of guy?

Mark: The answer is no, because I realize I'm opening myself up to some kind of can of worms there. I don't think I have the patience to even set that shit up.

[markbadun]

friends with benefits

I have no problem with it in theory, but I’ve also got very few genuine friends so it seems like a bad idea for me personally. Can’t afford to lose what I’ve got.

[markbadun]

text 📚 lark

Leilani: In fairness, college courses might have been more interesting if they'd incorporated Bingo, too. Some of them I spent daydreaming instead of paying attention because there was very little to engage me. I still personally think it would have been a much more effective way to 'stick it to his father' if he'd had a child and shown the child what a real father should be like, to prove to his father that his way of doing things was entirely forgotten and irrelevant. But at least he came around in the end. (MUST. RESIST. THE URGE. TO SEE. IF THE DUKE. HAS BASTARD CHILDREN.) I have the opposite fear! There are ten books and Crownflixseems to love to cancel things after three or four seasons!

Mark: I had a freshman History class that had Jeopardy sessions before tests to review and I've never been more motivated to actually pay attention, so maybe you're onto something. Daydreaming is definitely more interesting than a lot of the snoozefest prereqs. Or listening to my Arthurian Legends teacher try to argue that Morgan Le Fay was evil constantly, I s2g. Well, that does seem to be what he settled on in the end. Being a super good father to a bunch of little alphabetical brats with Daphne. Who, btw, is much, much more interesting in the books. As far as I'm aware, no, but I didn't get past book two. I might have to if they come out with more seasons though, you know how I like to pick apart movies and tv shows based on books. Ha, you're lucky if it gets four. Three seems to be the kiss of death lately and it seems like they're renewing less and less now. Although they'll probably incorporate SOME of the books into the same season. Aren't not all of them about the actual Bridgerton fam? So subplots.

Mark: You been reading anything else interesting? Say any other beloved series they're releasing as a series very soon. 😇

[markbadun]

How do you feel about marriage?

It’s not important to me, really. If I was with someone who I really loved and it was clealy something they wanted, I’d do it.

[markbadun]

text 📚 nark

Nuka: You'll probably get less miserable over time, especially when you meet more of the right people. I know I have, anyway, but at the end of the day, a broken person is still broken. Maybe just they learn to live with it better is all. Driving's one of the first things I remember feeling like I was really good at so that probably plays into it. I don't really know songs or artists too well, so I'll let one of my friends choose, usually. Why, what's your car music? We co-owned a toothbrush! She didn't know that, I don't think, but I miss that toothbrush every day!

Mark: Yeah, I've been doing therapy and that's been like slightly helping. It at least makes me feel like it's okay not to know what the fuck I'm doing. And I'm glad you feel less miserable, you're a good guy. You deserve it. Yeah, that's true. Although I think some shit is fixable, although some of it definitely isn't. That's cool, I still need to find something like that. I'm mostly good at reading and sarcasm. I love Life in the Fast Lane for obvious reasons, but basically anything with good guitar that's not too moody. It keeps you moving and singing when otherwise you'd be half-asleep behind the wheel. Can't you get diseases from sharing a toothbrush? Like viruses and shit?

[markbadun]

How do you feel about Gilmore Girls?

Alright, so it’s got it’s problems. There’s the whole Rory issue where they pretend she’s like disadvantaged and Lorelai’s life is like rough when she owns a house and successful business by like, what, 35? And also every guy who ever meets either of them is just like HELLLLLLLLO NURSE. And then as Rory gets older, she drops out of college but instead of exploring the real world where she gets a job in a crappy apartment with several other people and partying like a normal 20-something, she gets to live an ultra privileged life where she attends DAR meetings and has her every need catered to and pretend it’s like a real problem. Really, Emily Gilmore is the most likable character on the show which I know is not intentional but she’s living the dream and she knows it. Also Paris, which was really, really not intentional I’m sure.

However, I do enjoy the book and music and movie references. Sometimes they go a little too obscure and hipster-y even for me. But I will say Lorelai has unrealistically good music taste for a rich, white WASP lady who sometimes treads close to Karen territory. As far as the Fountainhead vs. Hemingway argument, they’re both terrible but I prefer the Fountainhead because at least it kind of knows it’s being problematic whereas Hemingway is always being praised for being gross. I’m also firmly Team Luke, because Christopher, really? Season 7 should have never happened because who would marry HIM when Luke is right there. As far as Rory’s love life goes, she probably shouldn’t be with any of them but it should be Jess. Because (a) I’m straight but not blind and (b) he’s the only decent dude she’s ever date who has fucked around with the cheating and all that bullshit.

[markbadun]

text 💬 markdy

Andy: YOU SENT "YOU UP?" LATE AT NIGHT AND ALSO A SMILING DEVIL EMOJI, SO IF YOU DIDN'T MEAN SEX STUFF, YOU NEED TO LEARN BASIC SOCIAL CUES, MARK! STAT! Also I've been booty-called by like half of Auradon, it's not unheard of or a weird conclusion to make.

Mark: I would have just asked if you felt like fucking. Merlin's Beard, we're not like that, right? You're like one of my only friends. I'm not going to ruin that by hitting on you. I wanted to play an ACTUAL game. Not a sexy game!

Mark: Although kudos on getting offers from half the land, very impressive. Although hopefully SOME of them at least bought you dinner and shit first.

[markbadun]

text 💬 marni

Gani: I haven't. It sounds like just asking each other questions back and forth though and I hope I'm wrong.

Mark: That's exactly what it is. I'm going to be straight up with you, my therapist said and I quote "that you build walls that are insurmountable" and that I need to start finding ways to open up to people. So I figured doing this via text and drinking to cope counts.

[markbadun]

How do you feel about college degrees?

They’re useful to some people, for sure, if you’re not like a Psychology major or something. But they’re not great for those of us who enjoy arguing with our English Lit professors more than writing papers on the themes of Jane Eyre and all that fun bullshit.

[markbadun]

text 💬 hark

Harper: I love games! What sort of game did you have in mind?

Mark: Now that's the kind of energy I'm looking for, Sherwood! Have you ever played Truth before?

[markbadun]

How do you feel about happy endings?

My preferred ending is the open ending. A story that wraps up in a way that’s satisfying, but isn’t really a concrete end. I like that it lets the reader decide what they want to happen next, instead of tying neat little bows on things. But the happy ending has it’s merits, if it’s not too forced. The world is gritty and unhappy enough, no need to have some dumb angsty send off to an otherwise satisfying work just to be edgy.

Although, people around here seem a little too obsessed with them.

[markbadun]

text 💬 schun

Sleepy: this sounds like the beginning of a murder series.

Sleepy: But I'm in, what's up?

Mark: I thought this was a Chucky reference but it's apparently Saw. My knowledge of horror movies is truly shit and it's because I hate the genre. Honestly, if I were to kill someone it'd be more like a literary satisfying death, not a gimmick. Blood is gross and I really don't want to go back to the Isle.

Mark: You ever played Truth?