hello world @marnie-performing-stronger-mp4 - Tumblr Blog

this is #alice. i'm 29 (fka planetibuprofen)

bisexual. i like sketching & aesthetics & drugs & memes & weird shit & horror & true crime & the tv & fashion & people & music & art & dreams & sunsets & taking walks & being loved. etc. i'm annoying. cynic & a hopeless romantic too

#1 chewing gum hater

🦷 i tag images that inspire me to create #to visualise

👁️ my silly little sketches #visualised

🐇the rest is self-explanatory

🌀i tag inconsistently🫀

#art #to visualise #visualised #people #inside #fashion #tattoos #animals #god #clown #palette #alice #fave #diary #other #life #ask #tunes #.#all time fave #polls #succession #personal

marnie-performing-stronger-mp4

coworker keeps calling new italian guy luigi or giovanni behind his back… his name is flavio

marnie-performing-stronger-mp4

white on white crime

coworker keeps calling new italian guy luigi or giovanni behind his back… his name is flavio

#other

nyya

as a tme person with a transfeminine sister it is extremely clear to me that we absolutely do not have an equivalent experience.

she did not experience "male socialization." when i look back on our childhood, it is easy to understand that there was no privilege to that concept. she was forced to try and shrink herself into the shape of a man, and was abused when she didn't succeed at playing the part. being "raised as a boy" only highlighted the stark incongruity between what was expected of her and what she was. this repeatedly led to her facing violence.

and to be clear i genuinely don't care if you think a rude comment from an exasperated trans woman online is as equally bad as the literal risk of her being murdered when she walks outside. this is not a competition, being the most visible is not a prize. i genuinely fear for my sister's life.

marnie-performing-stronger-mp4

hm ifeel like you are equating "male socialisation" with being inherently something positive & empowering… the fact she was ostracised for not behaving like a boy is expected to is male socialisation. girls raised as girls are ostracised when they behave like a boy is expected to. pls do not read this as me invalidating your sister in any way, im happy that she survived & is hopefully thriving now despite it all, but this is a huge misconception i see a lot, which i think is the reaction to ppl equating male socialisation to a privilege when a lot of boys - whether they are falsely labelled as such or just do not adhere to male gender roles - also suffer from & even experience violence because of it.

female/ male socialisation does not mean EVERY boy/ girl had the same experience, it means that when you grew up, the expectations of the gender you were raised as were put on you & you get rewarded / punished for adhering / defying gender roles. this must be horrible for transfems. but this is also why their experience is different from girls who were raised as girls - "female" socialisation. transfems growing up get ostracised & experience violence for being too "feminine", like putting on dresses or just talking, sitting, standing the "wrong" way because they are assigned male gender roles & raised accordingly - girls raised as girls get ostracised when they are too "masculine", & sometimes for not wanting to put on dresses and vice versa. your sister defies the gender roles assigned to her in the most "offensive" way by transitioning & thats why she is at risk of violence. cis women are at risk of violence whether we adhere to gender roles or not, but cis women can also be agents of the patriarchy & enact violence on other women, especially those who do not look/ act like a woman is "supposed to".

male socialisation just means someone was expected to behave "like a boy", it doesnt say anything abt the individual experience & whether someone adhered to the expectations or not or even turned out to not be a boy at all. transfems suffer precisely because they are labelled as boys & expected to identify&behave as such & are punished when they dont. if anything the fact that trans & gender non conforming ppl exist shows that patriarchal gender roles are not natural, they have to be enforced, & even when they are enforced, there will always be ppl who defy them against all odds, even the threat of violence.

#other #please dont let me be misunderstood…