Married to a Black Man

This is an outlet of my frustrations with the way America still treats minorities to this day. The way my husband is treated by mostly cops and anyone else that is racist or judgmental. Even to be open about when we don't see eye to eye about certain topics. Where it gets heated between us and we have to take a step back. Because at the end of the day my husband wants his past to be just that left in the past. Constantly, its brought up in a negative light and even used against him. - I will get further into detail about that on here too. Just anything. Even the good times, the struggling times and hardworking times! I want an outlet to express how much I love my husband even though we have so much going against him; against us. Thank you for reading my blog! Please like and share the post you agree with. As well as follow my social media accounts! =]

[marriedtoablackman]

Unfortunately, no one that isn't black and a man can understand what a black man's life is like. Period. And no one can tell me that isn't a a Latina women that often gets mistaken for white... What it's like being married to a black man. Periodt. It's not easy at time's because cops don't make it easy. It's hard because people are scared and show fear when he is just there. It's not easy women think it's cute he looking like a "bad boy".... 🙄 😂 Females couldn't and wouldn't hang through half the shit I have. Smh. Ima different breed. My husband is a changed man and every fucking time cops mess with him they try to tell him that he still the same dude he was. Times are hard and even when we have all our ducks in a row cops still get away with shit. Leaving my husband to pick up the pieces and start all over. It's not right.

[marriedtoablackman]

Past in a negative light...

I believe my husband should embrace the time he did in prison. Actually I think he does but its just used against him so much with cops current harassment's. That he never really gets away from it. 

He can never get a break. It is always something and when it comes to the cops we can only do so much. People say oh you can sue and you can do this. It’s not really that easy at all. We have dealt with specifically cops singling out my husband and nothing happens to them. 

The last time they towed a truck of ours it had everything it needed to be legally driven. He said he supposedly pulled my husband over because he didn't have a front plate on! Do you know how many times I have seen cops with no front plates??!?! Ridiculous bullshit.

Towed the truck, gave him a ticket and we were not able to pull that truck out. It was a Friday and by the time Monday came it was hundreds of dollars. The officer that we are currently having issues with is DULONG in the Pomona Police Department. He sees my husband and will turn around and look for my husband; it is frustrating as hell. Will this cop feel so threatened one day he will shoot my husband. Some of you reading this (ignorant af probably) are saying “of course not, that is a cop” blah blah.... You can’t guarantee that this cop that goes out of his way to check every little about my husbands driving situation is square every time he see’s him; won’t lead to my husbands life in danger.

Feels like my husband is a target for his good report card. If you look up this officer he once was a parking enforcement officer and still acts like it; might I add. He recently was rewarded for giving out a lot of DUIs basically. But how many of those people just had a blunt they were not even smoking, small bag of weed, or beer in the car but not drunk/drinking it.??? How many of those people are screwed for life because this guy is trying to get high numbers. 

Tell me - How is my husband supposed to get far in life when his past is used against him. 

When he may make a few mistakes but not really hurting anyone. How is his front plate being in his truck hurting anyone? We have insurance, all that. You harassing my husband getting the numbers up but not really getting the people that are really a threat. Why we keep having breaking in our apts, cars and garages constantly. Why are their crack heads still roaming the streets hard and I am not talking about homeless. I am saying why is crack on the streets so tough... MAYBE because you (COPS) focusing on Cannabis and that is stupid. Period. It is easier to catch and ruin people lives by focusing on the small stuff and if you do it enough times you’ll (COPS) get high numbers and then rewarded. 

whooppttiieefuckindooo!! 

[marriedtoablackman]

Having a Past...

“I CAN NEVER GET AWAY FROM PRISON” 

^^  Is what my husband yelled at me when we are arguing today. He has to always hear about his time in prison because in my opinion it is a part of him. It is an experience that has influenced his life and has affected his life forever. However, when it is brought up it is mostly brought up by cops in a negative light by using it against him. Saying he did this or that because he was in prison. It hasn’t been easy for my husband. Trying to move on from his childish mistakes and then again time he did for trusting the wrong people. I get it, it has been hard for him no doubt. 

However, he doesn’t think about us. ME. He makes decisions and choices that put him in situations that are not fair but he instigates it. HERE is where we always struggle to meet eye to eye. 

Daniel stays within his rights a lot of the time and still ends up in jail or given a ticket plus his car towed...etc... meanwhile the white guys that shoots up a place or murders people whatever is most of the time treated with all kinds of respect. When Danny is pulled over we have to worry about warrants that should have been cleared, old shit popping up (or cops going off old shit but not really have no merit for shit), they find SOMETHING to tow his car or give him a ticket for.

I get on him about his attitude and the way he talks to me like I am some homey that is beneath him - someone that is scared of him. Day I am ever scared of my husband is the day he needs to leave. I don’t ever want to be scared of someone I in a relationship with let alone marriage. NEVER.  Daniel has a big anger issue and over the years it has change tremendously but people don’t seem to realize that because he is still really bad and scary to the average jo. Plus there is already a black man stigma on how the black man can’t control their anger and they are dangerous. <-- BUT my husband says he refuses to live and be with fear when he is doing anything so he will be angry and do what he wants. 

In general he should work on his anger. Its too much and although I am not scared; it is exhausting  and its getting old.  I don’t think he should change for people but for himself. Why does he have to be angry and express everything in anger? So we don’t see eye to eye.. 

I tell him in my opinion the way he thinks comes from being in prison. I see he thinks of or if I tell him to do something he is chump. There is this attitude when we argue that too much and over the top. Like he is trying to express he is the alpha male and for me its like brah stop coming at me like I’m some dude off the street. 

We have come to a conclusion that he needs to stop thinking I am trying to “punk” him and I need to stop getting mad at the little things.

[bballinspiration]

Former NBA player Stephen Jackson delivered a powerful message to honor his longtime friend George Floyd.

[marriedtoablackman]

“What happened to COMMON SENSE” this man is saying everything on our minds!!! “OPEN YOUR EYES”!!!!!  PLEASE!! Don’t let my husband be the next headline!

Why is okay to follow my husband around and wait for him to make a minor mistake but you let everyone else slide with minor things. Why do you (COPS) wait for my husband to do something so you can hold him accountable excessively!!?!?! LEAVE US ALONE..!!!  Cops have pulled up on my husband for jaywalking - POMONA POLICE DEPARTMENT has a problem!!!

[karlrincon]

Black Lives Matter!

[marriedtoablackman]

THANK YOU!!

[earthbending-idiot-deactivated2]

Snoop Dogg over here spittin facts

[marriedtoablackman]

This should tell you something!! Don’t let my husband be the next headline!! 

Help us!

[undefined5posts]

[marriedtoablackman]

My husband life matters. Please someone listen and hear me out before my husband is the next headline!!

We have trouble with a few cops at Pomona. We have gone through so much bullshit its ridiculous!! I need support and help getting the word out. Specifically an officer Dulong is harassing's my husband. See’s him in a car and follows him!!! He has pulled my husband over in his truck and even though he had everything!!!!!!!! He still towed the car. He said we didn't have insurance but we did and he refused to let Daniel get it out the truck or look for it himself. He said he “initially pulled Daniel over because of the front license plate not on” … Well someone was trying to steal it and so it was in the door side pocket it was on top of dash but it kept sliding. 

Lets be real that is a stupid reason to pull someone over and then how is it fair to take someone's car and tow it!!! We had the tag exempt stick that we had 6 month to finish paying- but still can drive the car -sticker on the back window!!  It was a Friday we were never able to get that car out of the tow yard and so we lost that truck. smh

[marriedtoablackman]

Working Hard

Daniel tends to always find jobs sooner or later. Work is relatively easy to find but its making sure they are close, its decent pay and comfortable with the environment. Plus when they see Daniel, sigh, its more about their comfortability because they assume things about him. They don’t see the working hard guy. Who has a mentality of “lets do this!” 

Daniel is blunt, upfront and a social butterfly type of guy. He has a big heart and a lot of the time he will stand up for those that can’t animals, elderly and kids. He is always working hard whether that is on himself, for others or literally at a job. 

He has this mentality that he has to provide and when he doesn’t it bothers him. Seems like its reflecting on the man he feels he should be. He has a lot of outlooks on life that reflect how he was raised. A lot of those outlooks I agree on and we see eye to eye for the most part.  My husband works at a gas station. He just start three weeks ago. He got a raise and he was trusted with NOC shift after a week or so with them. He definitely is always underestimated and super smart but people take one look at him and assume a lot of things. Mostly negative things...  Let just say they don’t see a WORKING HARD gentleman right off the bat. Never have I heard my husband complain about going to work. He enjoys working and providing.