I like to think I'm the funniest guy around

me: changes out the names of these quotes and calls that good humor

[mars-incorrect-quotes]

Kip: I have a sudden and incredible urge to breathe water instead of air!

[mars-incorrect-quotes]

Sol, taping a knife to a roomba and setting it loose: Be free my child.

Clade, entering the room with cuts on his ankles: WHO THE FUCK-

[mars-incorrect-quotes]

Kan: This ain't my ship!

Kan: Ohhhh, that explains a lot.

Creighton:

Kan: Yeah, I don't know you people.

Kan: I guess I'm out of here.

Kan: [fires himself out of a cannon and into the distance]

Creighton:

Creighton: I'll see you around space cowboy.

[mars-incorrect-quotes]

Cotton: So what’s the password?

Clade: I hate you.

Cotton: [types] It didn’t work.

[mars-incorrect-quotes]

Liss: I have entered that time in my life where I have only one thing on my mind.

Entropy: Me! ;)

Liss, ignoring her: Patricide.

[mars-incorrect-quotes]

Atlas: The power went out.

Alpha: Oh wait I got this.

Alpha: [shaking their entire body]

Atlas: What are you doing?

Alpha: I swallowed a glowstick.

Atlas, concerned: WHY WOULD YOU-

[mars-incorrect-quotes]

Oleander: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I'll wait.

Ned: You and me!!!

Oleander, tearing up: Okay.

[mars-incorrect-quotes]

Robin: [taping "Have You Seen My Husband?" posters all over the promenade]

Maiko: What? Is he missing?

Robin: No, I just wanted to make sure everyone had seen him.

[mars-incorrect-quotes]

Bell: Please I just want to talk.

Minerva: [hisses like a cat]

[mars-incorrect-quotes]

Arave: Its me, ya boy Arave.

Arave: Today I'm gonna teach you how to cook.

Kan: Cook what?

Dawn: I thought Dom blocked you.

Arave: Step one. Get a fish.

Arave: Step two. Cut up the fish.

Arave: Done.

Arave: Congratulations you've cooked.

Arave: Remember to like, comment and subscribe. Click the link down below for a chance to win a pair of lightly used socks.

[mars-incorrect-quotes]

Roberts: Ah yes, the five love languages.

Roberts, pointing at Chakra: “I'm so fucking tired please Rubia just let me rest for five minutes.”

Roberts, pointing at Sol: “I love my friends.”

Roberts, pointing at Erika: “My father never told me he loved me.”

Roberts, pointing at Cotton: “Please pay attention to me.”

Roberts, pointing at Erika: “Touch Starved.”

Erika: Why am I two of them?

[mars-incorrect-quotes]

Leo: I dont want your wares Fred, please do not sel-

Fred: You will buy my wares!

Leo: I do not want your wares Fred!

Fred: I am selling CRAM

Leo: What is Cram?

Fred: A CRAM.

Leo:

[mars-incorrect-quotes]

Fred: I am selling multiple crams, very different flavors yes YES.

Fred: I am selling Raspberry Cram. Berry Cram. VERY Berry Cram.

Leo: Can you tell me what a Cram is?

Fred: AH its a little mushy substance you put in between you gums.

Fred: Its not dip though, dont think its dip.

Leo:

[mars-incorrect-quotes]

Fred: Would you like some cram?

Leo: I dont want cram...Do you have anything besides--

Fred: ONLY TWENTY GOLD COINS for ONE... BUCKET OF CRAM.

Fred: I sell them by the bucket.

Leo: I dont wanna buy--

Fred: You will receive CRAM upon paying me 20 gold coins.

Leo: I dont have any gold coins.

[mars-incorrect-quotes]

Fred: PAY the gold coin you will receive the RASPBERRY, BERRY OR VERY BERRY CRAM.

Leo: I'm gonna go across the street if you dont sell me literally anything besides cram.

Fred: Not to the MARK SALESMAN!

Leo: The what salesman?

Fred: THE MARK SALESMAN!

Leo: The mark salesman?

Fred: That's opposite of cram...

Leo: I dont know whats happening!

Leo: You've just created a fake substance.

Leo: You have made something completely new and you are trying to sell it to me.

[mars-incorrect-quotes]

Fred: You

Fred: Will

Fred: Receive

Fred: CRAM

Fred: upon paying me 20 gold coins...

Leo: I’ve heard that!

Fred: You will

Fred: buy

Fred: the CRAM.

Fred: I recommend the very BERRY CRAM, it is like the berry cram but very!

[mars-incorrect-quotes]

Leo: Can I buy- can I buy like a sword or something?

Leo: I'm trying to go into battle, and you are, you are only offering me some SUBSTANCE of yours.

Fred: The only swords I have are made of CRAM.

Leo: I dont want a CRAM SWORD.

Fred: Laid in the sun for about a fortnite and it will be harder then STEEL.

[mars-incorrect-quotes]

Fred: CRAM SWORD.

Leo:

Fred: CRAM SWORD

Leo:

[mars-incorrect-quotes]

Fred: Receive cram sword.

Fred: I am selling for 50 gold coins...

Leo: What does Cram even look like-

Fred: LAID IN THE SUN FOR A FORTNITE

Leo: heard- I heard all about the-

Fred: It will be-

Leo: I HEARD ALL ABOUT the laying in the sun and the fortnite.

Fred: HARDER THAN STEEL

[mars-incorrect-quotes]

Leo: I wo- Can I buy- Can I buy like-

Leo: Steel?

Leo: Steel?

Leo: Do you sell steel?

Fred:

Fred: I have some cram i have laid out for a fornite pryviously...

Leo: "PRYVIOUSLY"

[mars-incorrect-quotes]

Leo: What is it made of?

Fred:

Fred: The question confuses me...

Leo:

[mars-incorrect-quotes]

Ollie: Rolf I have to go to the bathroom.

Ollie:

Ollie: Nevermind I think I can hold it. Let's go hide.

Ollie:

Rolf:

Ollie: Rolf I lied.

[mars-incorrect-quotes]

Dom: What should I make for dinner using sausage.

Arave: Sausage.

Dom: Wow thanks, Arave.

[mars-incorrect-quotes]

Victor: We should appreciate the small things in life.

Roark: [picks up Zero]

Roark, deadpan: You are appreciated.

Zero: Put me down or I swear I will kill you in your sleep.

[mars-incorrect-quotes]

King G, reading from a book: Witches melt in water, Wizards melt in soapy water.

King G: ...with some lemon.

Entropy: Once again, men thinking they are special.

Entropy: Fuck off its called lemonade.

[mars-incorrect-quotes]

Arave: Wait I'm having one of those things.

Arave: You know, a headache with pictures.

Leora: An idea?

Arave: That's it!