tina (she/her) 23

[pursuit-of-silence-deactivated2]

you let one thing slide and a mf starts ice skating

[sh4wtycore]

[cottoncandylesbo]

the snap back to sexy has arrived. daddy big dick is in town. depressed who. i just ate a big peach and im feeling potent

[bobdylanyaoi]

[fagstaynight]

Sorry boss i cant come into work tomorrow the old jolly king just slapped his belly and leaned back in his chair with a big leg of lamb in his hand and loudly declared that the festivities shall last all through the night

[niceinchnails]

I love it when it feels like this

[uwontrememberme]

everything will probably be fine but i have to get really anxious just in case

[theehorsepusssy]

[orteil42]

unconvinced i'll ever find "the vitamin" that makes me all better so i can get real work done but i do expect they'll elucidate whatever my deal was post-mortem, after which what i did manage to accomplish with my life will be regarded on the level of Beethoven composing despite being deaf or Gordon Ramsay cooking despite being british

[ymawgat]

your car: *bounces back and forth, defeated, its hood swinging by a mere thread*

my car: *triumphantly leaps six feet in the air, spraying hubcaps in victorious fervor*

[mousenemy]

What?

[chromatic-king]

[ispyspookymansion]

ohhhh i get it now! theres something wrong with me

[64mpg]

it is actually so important to me to be alone at my house

[outofcontextgarf]

[catsofyore]

Very cool undated postcard from my collection.

[spidersinmysoup]

Spiritually my spirit is always smoking a cigarette but physically i am.not because hashatg smoking kills

[harpersternupdates]

they call me the friendship fumbler

[achillesinhighheels]