meow

// Giant Doctor Who, Harry Potter, Hunger Games, Supernatural and Marvel nerd // We're all stories in the end, just make it a good one, hey?

[vinduster]

[big-papa-huge-time]

This video pisses me off because everything about it is perfect. It’s extremely well shot and composed. Every decision that went into it from the choreographed sunglasses throw to the bass boosted Nickelback seems deliberate and incapable of improvement. 

Nothing I ever make will be better than 12 second long shitpost.

[highwaytohell-a]

my fave thing is reading old texts where gay or queer was used in their original context so u get gems like this occasionally

[highwaytohell-a]

okay i went thru the entirety of gatsby for this so y’all better appreciate

[jibrilarchive]

HEWWO? CWUNCH WAP SUPWEME?

[trashprinxe]

I have $24 to last me til Friday, what should I buy with it?

[transhuman-priestess]

a pallet of ramen noodles

[trashprinxe]

I hate ramen noodles tho

[transhuman-priestess]

hmmmmm bees?

[trashprinxe]

Are you suggesting that I eat bees for a week

[vanishinginthepark]

This is roughly what I make sure I have in my kitchen all the time along with rough estimates of local prices (MN). I buy a lot of things when they’re on sale and stockpile them. 

instant oatmeal packets with fruit in them - $3 probably and this can be breakfast all week and maybe even a lunch or dinner too since you usually get 10 packets

bag of rice - $2-3 depending on size. 1 cup dry rice makes enough for about two meals depending on what you add in. if you get cheap rice, rinse it before cooking

canned beans - usually under $1 per can - mix the can with your rice and you have a meal. chili-spiced beans will make bean tacos. Rinse non-spiced beans before adding to anything.

Tortilla - usually around $3 but you get like 8-10 of them. Tacos, wraps, and quesadillas are all fair game here

lettuce - $2 max around here, either a head of something or bagged precut depending on preference, use as a salad or on tacos

protein other than beans of some sort - probably $5-7 for meat, $2-3 for eggs. sometimes I can get bags of frozen chicken breasts in this price range and each is usually 2 meals if I add in a bunch of veggies. fry/scramble eggs and add to any of the options. 

your favorite stir fry sauce - $3ish

vegetables - $5ish. literally anything that you can 1. fry in a pan and 2. you’ll eat. fresh carrots are usually pretty cheap. get frozen if it’s cheaper and you’re strapped for cash/prep time on this part. 

alternative to stir fry:  pasta (~$2), fresh tomatoes (~$2), cheese (~$3). 

cheese and fruit if you have extra - look if your store has loyalty cards for free that you can load coupons on for cheese there’s always one it seems like.

[trashprinxe]

ahh thank you!!!

[hagar-972]

Reblogging because there’s never knowing who’ll need it.

Adding also: the single most nutritious food on earth is potatoes in their peel. Potatoes + some milk and butter = everything you need. They don’t last all that long, but they’re fairly cheap and the quickest cheat to “How do I not fuck my body up.”

(Cooked potatoes’ll last a while in the fridge. Potatoes nearing the end of their useful lives? Cook them to half-done first, figure out what to do with them later.)

Easiest baked potatoes: slice thinly but not paper-like, spread like cards, brush with oil (a silicone baking brush is totes worth the little it costs), spread salt and pepper (a little less than you think you’d like), cover with foil, stick in oven or toaster-oven at 150C for 40min. (If you have the patience, at that point click up to 180C, remove the cover and add 10-20min.) Reheats well, lasts in the fridge longer than it’ll take you to nom.

Dead-Animal-Free Whole Protein: some legumes + some grain. AKA rice and lentils, or rice and beans. (Maybe some fried onion for flavor; onion’s cheap and stays good a descent while. Fried onion makes everything taste better and keeps forever in the freezer, so frying up a bunch and keeping portions is not a half-bad idea.) (If going for the beans option - lentils are cheaper around here but fuck if I know what it’s like in your area - dump some tomato sauce and oil in; canola or soy are best health-wise, and far cheaper than olive; avoid corn.) Oh, what does instant couscous go for in your area? It keeps for fucking ever, it’s usually cheap, and it takes well to any and all added taste.

If you get to choose, black lentils taste the best and need the least soak-time (0-20min), green lentils are best for cooked stuff and red lentils are best in soups. (Red lentils + potatoes + root vegetables of choice + spices; cut into small pieces, cook, run through the blender if you wanna [stick blender’s awesome], freeze in portions.)

When possible, get instant soup mix. Get the good instant soup mix. (The kind that’s not made primarily of sugar, yeast or both. The rest is optional.) Dump 1/2tsp (or more, but start on the low end) into couscous, or chicken, or sprinkle over potatoes being stuck in the oven. Whatever. It’ll make most cooked-food-type things taste better. And again, lasts forever on the shelf.

If  you can have eggs (goodness knows they’re sometimes expensive), dump some tomato sauce in a pan (tomato sauce lasts forever on the shelf), add some oil, onion/beans to cook in it, hot peppers if you wanna, then when it’s nearly ready crack an egg or two in. Hard-boiled eggs last a remarkably while in the fridge, so when eggs reach near the end of their usable lives, just hard-boil and stick in the fridge. (Have eggs as often as you can, particularly as you have brain-shit going on. You need all the eggs, salt, and 60%-or-more chocolate you can get. Brains are made of cholesterol and salt, so folks with neuro or other brain shit need more of both. Potassium is also aces. You know what has the most potassium? Tomato paste.) Grated cheese keeps in the freezer for ever. Grated cheese will make a lot of things taste nicer. Preserved lemon juice keeps forever in the fridge. Grated cheese + oil + lemon = instant and awesome pasta sauce that’ll liven up the weeks-old dry pasta in the fridge. Slices bread also keeps well in the freezer. Try to have half a loaf or a loaf. Dry bread gets cut in cubes, mixed with oil and the aforementioned instant soup, stuck in oven at lowest until properly dry, then kept in an airtight jar to add to soups. (Over-ripe tomatoes come cheaper. They get turned into soup or sauce, then frozen in portions.)

[anextremelysadmeme]

this is a very good post but why are we glossing over the fact that the alternative to ramen is bees

[sunreon]

i have it on pretty good authority that bees are not an affordable eating alternative to ramen.

[camwyn]

Seriously, bees are expensive

[taraljc]

Trufax. 

And speaking as someone who is also living off oatmeal, beans, and brown rice, if you need recipes, I have them! 

Today I made 16 bean soup with chicken sausage and it was crazy good and I got 8 servings out of the one batch (froze half). I usually get the cheapest beans I can find, and GOYA bags of beans are usually $1-2. I soaked them overnight,rinsed them, and threw them in a gallon lidded saucepan with 2 boxes of chicken stock (also on sale for $2), two bay leaves, sauteed green pepper, onion, and celery, some garlic from a jar, about two tablespoons of dried herbs de provence,and the “fancy” bit was adding $6 bourbon and apple chicken sausages. You can actually sub veg stock for chicken and skip the sausage and make it vegan and it would still taste great.

Oh and I’ve been doing steel-cut oats. I don’t buy the name brand ones, I just pick whatever store brand/generic I can get for less than $4. They take about ½ an hour to make, but they’re super tasty and I make 2 cups of dried oats at a time with dried cranberries and that’s breakfast for 4 days at least. 

I’ve also been making black bean soup, red beans and rice, and curried potatoes and chick peas. I got 100 quart and pint take-away containers from Amazon for $20 and they all stack neatly and are perf for one serving of whatever.

[amireal2u]

Additionally, depending on where you live, whole rotisserie chickens are something like $4-$7 and are easily 4 - 6 servings of protein and on TOP of that, if you stick the carcass in a ziplock bag and then the freezer you have excellent soup makings. Using bones in soup literally squeezes all viable vitamins and minerals out of the suckers. Soup made from lots of bones is great to keep around if you get sick, it’ll feed and sooth you relatively easily and as you get better you can add noodles. ON TOP OF THAT, a quarter to a half cup of soup broth added to a lot of dishes also adds those nutrients PLUS flavor.

[jmathieson-fic]

Here’s my “How to eat for a week on $30″ post.

[geardrops]

don’t forget Good and Cheap: Eat Well on $4 A Day

[lickmetilllicecreammmm]

Yall are clutch for this lmao cuz ima need this for about the first month after I move

[watts-of-dragons-deactivated201]

Reblogging cause who knows what your followers are going through rn

[hurleyquinnzel]

Songs that never fail to make white people beyond turnt

 Don’t Stop Believing 

Bohemian Rhapsody 

Living On A Prayer 

Come On Eileen 

Sweet Caroline 

Shot Through the Heart 

Pour Some Sugar on Me 

Sweet Home Alabama 

Under Pressure 

Shook Me All Night Long 

Ice Ice Baby 

Cotton Eyed Joe

500 Miles

Wonderwall 

Buddy Holly 

A Thousand Miles 

Teenage Dirtbag 

Red Solo Cup 

Mr Brightside 

Never Gonna Give You Up 

Eye of the Tiger 

Chicken Fried 

American Pie 

I Love Rock and Roll 

Dancing Queen 

Don’t You Want Me

We Will Rock You 

The Time Warp 

Hey Jude 

Piano Man

This Is How We Do It

Drops of Jupiter 

Hey Soul Sister

In The End 

All The Small Things 

Stacy’s Mom 

Kryptonite 

All Star 

You Found Me

Bad Day 

Bring Me To Life 

Dance, Dance

Sugar We’re Going Down 

I Write Sins Not Tragedies 

All The Small Things 

Ocean Avenue 

Dirty Little Secret 

Margaritaville 

Sk8er Boi

Brown Eyed Girl 

Life Is A Highway 

Some Nights 

Little Lion Man 

Breakeven

Hey There Delilah 

Viva La Vida

Use Somebody 

Carry On My Wayward Son 

Take On Me

1985 

Iris 

I’m Awesome 

Seven Nation Army 

September 

Since U Been Gone

Skinny Love 

Everybody (Backstreet’s Back)

Bye Bye Bye 

Say It Ain’t So 

Somewhere Only We Know 

I’m Yours 

Last Resort 

My Girl 

Tiny Dancer 

Roxanne

Shout 

I’m a Believer 

Soul Man

Feel Good Inc 

Check Yes Juliet

Walking On Sunshine 

MMM Bop

Pumped up Kicks 

Hooked On A Feeling 

It’s A Beautiful Day

Summer Girls 

Before He Cheats 

Happy Together

You Make My Dreams Come True

Build Me Up Buttercup

Escape (The Pina Colada Song)

DONTTRUSTME

Shake It (Metro Station)

Juke Box Hero

Girls Just Want To Have Fun

[kriskrakel]

so i made the playlist https://open.spotify.com/user/haey1/playlist/15HiKjAnUuAymWdqejOTcP

[sweetiewhitpi]

Rebloging with the playlist.

[enbyleighlines]

as a white I can confirm the accuracy of this playlist

[thes3nator]

[celestialdorito]

If you don’t lose your titties with excitement over this playlist you don’t have a soul!

[bumblign]

homeskillet, i’m mexican american and i can confirm that this gets the white in me turnt af

[honey-sunny-bee]

Ain’t gonna lie

[marvelousmaiden]

Tfw you've been off your meds for like a week by complete accident and everything makes you wanna cry because HELLO MOOD SWINGS

[theofficialpresidentoftheusa]

In this house, dumb bitch hours are 24 fucking 7

[wlw]

“not everything can be gay” it can. and it will

[comingtotermssapphics]

if there’s a will, there’s a gay

[runnily]

[notlikingbestgirl]

Seeing dogs looking at you from a car

[blushbnnuy]

I gasped

[gendice]

what's a twink?

blonde american snack 

[enochianghost]

you’re thinking of a twinkie a twink is when you only blink one eye

[natsumischwartz]

no that’s a wink

a twink is a fixture commonly found in kitchens and bathrooms

[snzical]

nah, you’re thinking of a sink

twink is the stuff that comes from squids and makes pens and markers work

[nucleartourist]

that’s ink

a twink is a coil of plastic or metal that people push down stairs for fun

[stomachkrampus]

No, you’re thinking of a slinky

A twink is when your hose gets bent in a weird way and water can’t flow through it anymore

[gendice]

nope, that’s a kink 

twink is definitely the catchphrase of velma from scooby doo

[boombazled]

No, thats jinkies

Twink is when you get an idea

[hamncheeeese]

nah fam, that’s think(ing)

twink is a lighter shade or red

[jotarofucks-archive-deactivated]

Nah that’s pink

A twink is that one character from the legend of zelda

[gendice]

you’re not wrong

[paulthebukkit]

the father, the son, and the holy spirit

[flock-talk]

This nerd got stuck playing dead

[guiltygirl]

someone: *saying something important*

my brain, loudly: i bless the rains down in afriCAAAAaaaaAAAA

[marvelousmaiden]

ME ASF

[gokyuzlumadam-deactivated201806]

[peduncling-away-deactivated2019]

A Vine compilation (part 1?) 

Since Vine is going to be killed, I needed to salvage some of these timeless masterpieces.

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]