As someone who has existed within varying degrees of the homemaking community online for several years, I have my hills I am willing to die on. The most important one being this:
Skillsets are not gendered. Domestic skills are invalable lifeskills and everyone should know the basics.
I don't give a shit what your pastor tells you on Sundays, everyone should know how to cook, clean etc. It's no one person's place to be at home, and certainly not due to something as arbitrary as gender.
This past weekend I woke up horribly ill with a sinus infection. Woke up early anyways and went through the motions of getting my daughter up for the day, despite having been unable to sleep through due to fever. The routine is that my husband gets a lie in on Saturday and I lile in on Sunday. Fine. As soon as my husband comes downstairs and sees the state I'm in, I get sent straight back to bed with a cup of tea and medicine, and he tells me he's got it, I just need to rest. Without me needing to check him, remind him or ask him to do anything specifically, he knew exactly which chores needed to be covered for the weekend, got it all done, and didn't have to ask me once for any clarification. This included ensuring my daughters school uniform was cleaned and ironed ahead of monday, taking her into town to buy new clothes post growth-spurt, baking some sandwich loaves for the week ahead. He cooked dinner on Saturday using leftovers I'd put aside for that reason, without needing to check in as he knows the system. He cooked again on Sunday, and specifcally cooked something he knew would create plenty of leftovers, so I wouldn't need to cook again for a few days while I recover. All of this, he knew how to do, and did without complaint, despite us existing in, what is at surface level, a "traditional marriage".
And by the way, nothing my husband did this weekend was a surprise to me. At no point did I think this was a pleasant thing for him to do, and aren't I so lucky? Of course I expect him to know how to keep our household running for a weekend when I'm sick. The man is nearly 40. I should bloody hope he knows how to do laundry and cook a full meal.
If you want to do the majority of domestic tasks in your household, go for it, knock yourself out. But you need to ensure your partner knows how to do it as well. Don't allow yourself to enforce bullshit patriarchal nonsense and exist as a glorified bangmaid.
If you're on the other side of things and you find yourself doing the minority of domestic tasks, why not see how you can develop those skills? Maybe see if you can allocate one night a week where your partner gets the evening off, and you commit to cooking dinner. Maybe ask them to write down their routines so if for whatever reason they're unable to do their regular tasks, you can support them and pick up where they've had to stop.
snowghoul
gamechangershow
gracieabrams
vaporwave
yousharknotpass
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