I should go

close your eyes. it's 2012. mass effect 3 just came out. #takebackmasseffect is trending everywhere. it's 2am and you're crying to Das Malefitz again. relive this journey.

[the-reapers]

BWAAAAAAANNNNNNNHHHHHN

[femboss]

we wish you a merry BWAAAAAAHHHHHNNNN

we wish you a merry BWAAAAAAHHHHHNNNN

we wish you a merry BWAAAAAAHHHHHNNNN

and everyone is fUCKGIN DEAD

[mass-effect-heritage-posts]

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[turbo-pharaoh]

We saw a Tali statue at c2e2 that had the fattest fuckin ass and we were all jokin about how thick it was but I ain’t gonna lie it’s been on my mind for the past 3 days straight

[turbo-pharaoh]

absolutely shameful alien ass

[turbo-pharaoh]

[you-have-rats-deactivated202110]

commander shepard im trying to sneak around but im dummy thick and the clap of my ass cheeks keeps alerting all the geth

[mass-effect-heritage-posts]

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[mylordshesacactus]

Do you ever think about what the start of ME1 must have been like for the Council. Like, the human embassy is being annoying so they picked one (1) human to send on a few milk runs to make sure her 100% political appointment wasn’t gonna blow up in their faces. That’s it.

They’re sitting there like “what’s next on the docket. ah yes, the job interview for the diversity hire”

and then she kicks down the door and the first words out of her mouth are “THE REGIONAL MANAGER IS WORKING FOR A CULT OF BILLION-YEAR-OLD MACHINES TO WIPE OUT ALL LIFE IN THE GALAXY, THIS WAS REVEALED TO ME IN A DREAM”

and everyone acts like YOU’RE being unreasonable for politely reminding her that this is a wendy’s.

[mass-effect-heritage-posts]

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[glamfellens]

i love how saren just zooms around on a hoverboard in mass effect 1 and then we never see anything like that again for the rest of the trilogy

[yellingaboutmasseffect]

[messydiabolical]

unrestrained summer fun

[mass-effect-heritage-posts]

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[lesbianshepard]

edi getting a robot body so she could hang out with us outside of the ship was good but everything about her robot body was bad and i will never stop complaining how bad it was.

[lesbianshepard]

how are mass effect fans 1000000x smarter than all of bioware combined

[mass-effect-heritage-posts]

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[crushcrushcrushmp3]

said with increasing distress and volume fuck it we ball fuck it we ball fuck it we ball fuck it we ball fuck it we ball fuck it we ball fuck it we ball fuck it we ball fuck it we ball

[housederiva]

[mass-effect-heritage-posts]

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[pollzano]

Shepard's development

ME1: I’ll kick Sarens ass ME2: Ill kick the collectors ass ME3: I’ll kick the REAPERS ass Citadel DLC: I’LL KICK MY OWN ASS

[mass-effect-heritage-posts]

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[circlesofbone]

Yeah sure it's cool that there's a Noodle House and Sushi place on the Citadel but it's not REALISTIC. You know the first thing, the VERY first thing humans would open right after they're welcomed onto the Citadel???

[wishfulcynic]

Garrus would be intimately familiar with Waffle House and as a result humanity’s nonsense.

This of course raises the question of where “Reaper invasion” falls on the Waffle House Index.

[mass-effect-heritage-posts]

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[gharibajameel]

sorry i know this is from mass efect and i think its supposed to be a big important moment but it looks like hes standin like this and got a big swangin thang lol

[mass-effect-heritage-posts]

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[spacefreddies-blog]

I love how the squad always roast Shepard’s dance moves yet they’re completely ok with dancing next to this

[mass-effect-heritage-posts]

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[helila]

L is for the way you look at me O is for the only one I see V is very, very extraordinary E is

[mass-effect-heritage-posts]

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[calicojill]

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[spiribia]

mass effect dlc really understood. it was like You want to help your formerly shy girlfriend murder the most influential information broker in like the galaxy and replace him? You want to kick it with a lesbian pirate queen for an expansion? You want to throw the wildest party ever with all your friends before you go to what might be the end of everything? yes.. i do…. thank you

[mass-effect-heritage-posts]

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[montparnasse]

the problem with mass effect is that no other games in the universe are going to be able to give me everything that those video games gave me. you can follow the story and missions or you can run around and explore planets until the end of time. you can build a crew of humans and aliens, and they love you but you aren’t just a blank self-insert character; you can shape shepard to be the class and personality that you want them to be. and you can love your crew back. you can explore the sci-fi world and fall into the lore and genuinely experience emotions at the decisions you have to make, and learn about the worlds and try to help them as best you can. and there’s politics, and love, and fighting, and friendship, and did i mention love??? Did I Mention the love between you and your crew, and how by the end of the trilogy no matter which romance you decide to pursue you can rest easy knowing that you’ve done your part to broker peace in the galaxy? or not, if you chose a different path? and the decisions feel organic and they’re reflected on your face (the scars) and by the end you’ve formed friendships with robots and all sorts of alien species and you feel so connected to the main character and all the adventures you’ve shared together that it feels more like a beautiful story than a trilogy of sci-fi single-player action games? what other video game has garrus vakarian? where am i supposed to go now and what do i do with the rest of my life. it’s been more than a decade and i’m still searching for the virtual paradise that those games provided and nothing else measures up

[mass-effect-heritage-posts]

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[mialie-deactivated20171214]

Dossier: Archangel

[mass-effect-heritage-posts]

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[prezs]

this is still the funniest way to start a romance in a video game possibly ever

[pr]

the breakup prompt is equally bad

[mass-effect-heritage-posts]

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[kryptonians]

Garrus: hey babe come over

FemShep: I can’t I’m on a mission

Garrus: I’m done calibrating ;)

FemShep:

[mass-effect-heritage-posts]

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