The Fury of Massive Jellyfish

Hi! I'm a 27 yo bi guy from the UK, intrested in anime, archaeology and all things ridiculous.

[ceruleanheaven]

i am always one wrong word away from being shot by all the people who find me tolerable

[red-garden]

“Do dishes” and “take out trash” both require the use of a spell slot, vs “use phone” is a cantrip, and brother, I am a level one wizard

[josilverdragon]

"The horrors persist but so do libraries, books, iced coffee, sunsets, trees, the word 'fuck', the moon and the sea."

[pseudomantis]

[is-the-owl-video-cute-deactivat]

a squirrel or perhaps a cardinal posted this

[phaeton-flier]

How about you mind your own damn business

[we-are-knight]

You know, I don't think I'll ever get over how that one post I made about women as knights in history, made it all the way to Reddit only for a bunch of redditors to argue that women couldn't actually be knights because:

- "the term is gendered" (it's not, and feminine equivalents were sometimes created specifically for the purpose)

- "they didn't actually do things as knights" (who didn't? The Hatchet women fought the Moors. A few other Orders had women as masters of arms. Both martial and formal examples)

...and a few other reasons that come down to "I don't like imagining my manly men in steel had women in their ranks, girls have cooties".

And the reason I say this is because recently, Wikipedia updated their page on "Knight", specifically adding a section about women with the title of knighthood, and what function they performed. And I know: "Wikipedia is not an academic source"--but every academic institution will accept the sources and articles used to back up wikipages, which confirm what has been said.

Knights were sometimes women. 🤷

[we-are-knight]

I saw this and needed to answer.

The gendered versions of 'knight' come from Romance languages, and literally just change the word to fit the gender of the subject (within a binary). So it isn't like English, where a female knight has always been a 'Dame', but, using Spain as an example, the word for Knight in Spanish is 'Cabellero'. This is the default masculine.

The feminine word for Knight? 'Cabellera'.

Similarly in French: "Chevalier" becomes "Chevaliére".

In Italian, "Cavaliere" becomes "Cavaliera".

Outside of Romance languages, "knight" is just a title for a social rank, so even the English Dame is by default a knight by rank, but may not have the title (although not impossible).

So it's not a silly infantilisation, than using a word for the knightly class and gendering it in a binary, which means we can actually tell that, yes, women as knights existed, enough that the feminine form of the word pops up now and then, so we know it existed.

[jv]

ooh, where one could read that original post??

Just a note about translations and ... well, patriarchal bullshit.

When you say "Hatchet women fought the Moors" I was like "hey, that seems to be part of my local history, how have I never heard about it?", and when I googled it ... I actually have heard about it, it's the Orden del Hacha from Catalonia (Orde de l'Atxa in the original Catalan). But ... there's something odd going on. Why the fuck in English they have translated like "Order or the hatchet"? You know, in Spanish and Catalan there's no really a difference between "Axe" and "Hatchet": There's a single word for them, "Hacha/Atxa". But in English, there's a difference. A Hatchet is a hand axe, pretty much the smallest one you can think of:

So It's pretty remarkable that whoever translated the name of the order to english first decided to use "Hatchet" and not "Axe". I'm pretty sure if this was a order of men warriors the name would have been pretty different. Specially when THIS was their coat of arms:

So dear academic-who-translated-this-first: Does that look like a hatchet to you, motherfucker?!?!?

[we-are-knight]

Important inclusion I was not aware of, thank you very much friend. :)

[heroineimages]

I’m going to be chuckling over ‘Does this look like a hatchet to you, motherfucker?!?!?” for the rest of the day.

[r-truth]

[gischtglas]

[hybernating-bear]

That's because this is Silmarillion

[the-commonplace-book]

[plushefemme]

not to be a hedonist but. pleasure IS the whole point, my loves. we are made for pleasure. humans have not survived out of spite or sheer grit or simply to make more humans. we live for pleasure. the pleasure of licking the last delicious crumbs off your fingers and feeling sunlight on your skin and massaging a loved one's shoulders. we're made to fill our bellies with delicious food, to nap in soft grass, to touch each other in joy and comfort.

there is no shame or guilt in our bodies doing what they were made to do. and we are made for pleasure.

[someguyiguess-deactivated202511]

spiders have got to figure out contracting I need to be able to call my local spiders union and be like "hey can you send a guy out for a few days the fruit flies are back" and then pay it in spider currency. I'll learn the conversion rates. I'll be generous with my rounding. please.

[original-blog-deactivated]

Original poster deactivated 30’th of November 2025

[the-girl-from-dres]

the fruit flies got to em

[damnfool-of-a-took]

we hunt the mighty pasta BEAST

and breadsticks are its BONES

ALFREDO FLOWS inside its veins

its organs are CALZONES

[damnfool-of-a-took]

LASAGNA plates its armored hide

and should the hero dare

you'll find the noisome Jaws are strung

with garlic angel hair

[oscillatingheatpipe]

The poem is written in common hymn meter (alternating lines of 8 and 6 syllables, usually iambs), so there are many possible tunes you can use to sing it:

Amazing Grace

Pokemon theme song

Gilligan's Island theme

House of the Rising Sun

O Little Town of Bethlehem

Joy to the World

Feel free to add any favorites!

[i-scan-your-poems]

Full scansion:

◡ – / ◡ – / ◡ – / ◡ – we hunt the mighty pasta BEAST ◡ – / ◡ – / ◡ – and bread/sticks are / its BONES ◡ – / ◡ – / ◡ – / ◡ – ALFRE/DO FLOWS / inside / its veins ◡ – / ◡ – / ◡ – its or/gans are / CALZONES ◡ – / ◡ – / ◡ – / ◡ – LASAG/NA plates / its ar/mored hide ◡ – / ◡ – / ◡ – and should / the he/ro dare ◡ – / ◡ – / ◡ – / ◡ – you'll find / the noi/some Jaws / are strung ◡ – / ◡ – / ◡ – with gar/lic an/gel hair

metrical form: common hymn meter (iambic tetrameter + iambic trimeter, or iambic heptameter) rhyme scheme: ABCB

[beyondthisdarkhouse]

This is some Lewis Caroll-tier shit

[triplspacee]

Y’all. It’s a shanty.

Visit Original Link

[damnfool-of-a-took]

Sea Salt flavored Pasta Beast just dropped, come n gettit~

i get so hungry whenever this post starts picking up notes again RIP me

[the-punforgiven]

It's always a knight in some fuckass brigandine nowadays 🙄😒

[knightposting]

Fuck with me

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

req'd by @xx---locketdragon---xx

oh nother one for the reaction pile

text: What a terrible day to have eyes and be literate

[sceptixfakemon]

WHAT IS SEXIER:

set of sexy lingerie whose entire purpose is to be sexy

15th century suit of armour

Voting ended onFeb 17

[knightclubbing]

we don't have to fight.......

[sceptixfakemon]

OH MY GOD?

[shower-thoughts-last-responder]

We here on tumblr are nothing if not consistent

[skyinide]

[afronerdism]

This might be the funniest reply I’ve ever seen in my life

[thepioden]

[fozmeadows]

I AM WHEEZING

[skyinide]

PLEASE STOP REBLOGGING THIS OMFG

[delavegaaaaa]

“You can’t fix him” I don’t wanna fix him! I wanna FUCK him! I’m a pervert not a psychologist!

[delavegaaaaa]

This post has reached corners of the internet in fandoms I hadn’t discovered yet. It’s an honor to help unite us in unholy hoetry

[eethok]

M’lord be it gay if I doth touch lance tips with Ser Gawain?

[onion-souls]

Sorry, Millennials, but recent paleontologist findings and hyolaryngeal apparatus reconstructions no longer support the hypothesis that "rawr" means "I love you" in dinosaur.

[onion-souls]

I made you a bibliography but I eated it :(

[can-i-make-image-descriptions]

[Image ID: Tumblr tag in all caps reading: #where are your citations /End ID]

[litepla]

Gideon the Ninth, first flower of my House.