As the avid PIDW collector that Shen Yuan was, there was absolutely no way he wouldn’t get his hands on some ultra-special, limited edition merch.
Right now, though, he was just staring blankly at his computer screen.
PIDW X POP MART COLLAB.
…
Ok???
Shen Yuan swallowed hard.
Proud Immortal Demon Way Labubus.
He let out a frustrated groan.
It wasn’t that he hated Labubus, alright? He actually thought they were kinda cute — not that he’d ever say that out loud.
The real problem was that there were seven models total: six regular ones (Luo Binghe’s wives), and one super rare — like, “1 in every 10,000 boxes” rare — of Luo Binghe himself.
And how the hell was he supposed to get the Super Ultra Rare LabuBinghe?!
Shen Yuan went to the Pop Mart store with the determination of a man about to ruin his bank account.
*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚
16:32 PeerlessCucumber [OP]:
The manner in which the collaboration between Proud Immortal Demon Way (PIDW) and Pop Mart has been executed is, quite frankly, entirely absurd. At first glance, anyone can see that there is no logical foundation for such a partnership — save, perhaps, within the greedy imagination of Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky. The consumer base of Pop Mart (predominantly female and inclined toward objects of a “cute” aesthetic) differs entirely from that of PIDW (predominantly male, and more interested in themes of cultivation and nsfw content).
It is, indeed, rather peculiar to witness a novel so heavily saturated with sexually explicit themes forming an alliance with a brand so clearly aimed at children, even if Pop Mart attempts to maintain the façade of catering to adult collectors. That being said, one cannot, by any means, justify this collaboration with the argument that “male readers simply wish to purchase these for their girlfriends,” for I assure you that the vast majority of PIDW’s readership is far more romantically involved with their own right hands.
Having said that, I find myself with numerous complaints regarding the design of the Labubus representing Luo Binghe’s wives. Although undeniably adorable, I cannot help but question which audience these designs are intended to please. I can easily imagine many individuals purchasing a sensual action figure of Sha Hualing; however, seeing her adorned in an excessively fluffy outfit reminiscent of a kigurumi seems rather nonsensical. Despite the overall cuteness, it hardly appears to align with what the readers would desire — unless, of course, the purpose was merely to provide them with an endearing keychain of their waifu. Nevertheless, I must admit that the addition of a veil to the Liu Mingyan Labubu was, to a certain degree, quite pleasing.
My primary grievance, however, does not concern the target audience or the design itself, but rather the method of acquisition. I understand that, given the intended market, the idea of releasing a soft and adorable Luo Binghe plush may have been considered somewhat intimidating, and thus he was designated as the special or secret variant. Yet, was it truly necessary to make his acquisition so exceedingly difficult?
As of now — two weeks after the release — I have yet to hear of anyone successfully obtaining the original version. There are, of course, falsifications and individuals attempting to prove their supposed success, but these claims are clearly false, as not a single person has used the official verification code on the website to confirm ownership. I, myself, have already purchased six hundred and forty-four boxes from the PIDW x Labubu collaboration in an attempt to acquire a single unit of LabuBinghe, and to this day, nothing.
I find myself questioning whether it even exists at all, or if the so-called rare Luo Binghe Labubu is merely a fabrication, if it’s just a cruel marketing myth buried among a thousand wife Labubus.
16:39 NYYBestWaifu:
You bought 644 boxes? I’M SCREAMING HAHAHAHAHAHA
16:39 MingyanVeil:
Where the hell does PeerlessCucumber get all this money…? I’m in disbelief.
16:50 JusticeForHaitang:
You basically threw your money away. The Luo Binghe plush isn’t even real.
16:53 NYYBestWaifu43:
Hey! I have a girlfriend!
16:55 MoBingheShouldKiss:
That’s adorable! I love how excited PeerlessCucumber gets over Binghe! He’s his #1 fan ^-^
Did you already buy cute little outfits for the Labubu, Cucumber?
16:59 SexiestSHL:
I’m amazed every day at how unemployed PeerlessCucumber seems to be bc of his amount of free time. Get a job and move out of your parents’ house, bro.
17:02 MBJSexyTits:
If anyone’s gonna pull the LabuBinghe, it’s PeerlessCucumber. FIGHT, CUCUMBER, FIGHT! (૭ ｡•̀ ᵕ •́｡ )૭
17:05 AirplaneShootingTowardsTheSky:
Thanks for paying my rent this month by buying all those Labubus, Cucumber-bro.
17:43 PeerlessCucumber (OP):
Okay, for everyone’s information, let me make a few things clear (again):
1. Yes, I do have a great job that gives me free time to dedicate to PIDW.
2. How else am I supposed to get LabuBinghe without buying tons of boxes?? FYI, I either sold or gifted all my duplicate Labubus.
3. Obviously, yes — I bought clothes for him. He’s the Demon Emperor. He deserves the full wardrobe.
4. Fuck you, Airplane.
*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Shen Yuan went back to the Pop Mart store on his street and began examining the PIDW x Labubu boxes, trying to see if any of them seemed luckier than the others.
Since none did, he simply started tossing every single one into his basket.
A small child nearby was looking curiously at one of the boxes, smiling at the cute little figure of LaYingYing on the front — as the fandom had started calling her.
Shen Yuan picked up the very same box the child was eyeing.
“Hey! I wanted that one!”
No way. What if it had LuoBubu inside?! Shen Yuan absolutely couldn’t let a random child take his possible Luo Binghe from him.
“It’s not appropriate for your age,” he said.
“But I waaaant it!”
Shen Yuan looked down at the kid, who was starting to whine, and mockingly repeated in the same tone, “But you caaaan’t have it.”
“MOMMYYYY!”
At the scream, the child’s mother came rushing over — only to see Shen Yuan holding a basket overflowing with Labubu boxes, while her child looked on the verge of tears.
“He wants to take all the Labubus! He won’t let me have any! He’s so cruel!”
The mother looked scandalized, clearly about to start an argument, when Shen Yuan — without stopping to consider the gravity of his words — said flatly:
“This is a collaboration with a series of pornographic novels.”
“...”
“...”
Shen Yuan didn’t even blink.
The woman hesitated, looking bewildered, unsure whether to believe that absurd claim or not. The kid definitely didn’t understand, but hey — Shen Yuan had warned it wasn’t age-appropriate. The kid had insisted.
The mother’s expression twisted into one of disapproval. “You’re lying, and-”
“Is there a problem here?”
A store clerk Shen Yuan didn’t recognize approached. He was wearing the Pop Mart uniform and — excuse me, why was this man working retail when he could easily be an idol, actor, or model? That face! That smile! Those long hair, silky waves tied up in a loose ponytail! Absolutely stunning.
Even the angry mother seemed a little dazed by his beauty. Control yourself, woman! Shen Yuan can see that wedding ring on your finger.
He was gorgeous — but wait, where was the regular employee who usually worked this shift? The uniform looked like the same… but it was straining a little on this guy… Oh, must be a last-minute replacement.
“Uh… It’s just that… this man here is saying these toys are inappropriate just so he can take the one my son wanted, and-”
“My customer is absolutely correct,” the clerk said smoothly, stepping closer. He reached into Shen Yuan’s basket (politely asking “excuse me”), and showed the mother the label printed on the box: a clear +18 marking. “These are adult collectibles, not intended for children. Unless, of course, you want your son reading a novel filled with explicit material.”
“Oh… uh… I see…” The woman seemed far too distracted by the man’s looks to argue further.
“But mooom-!”
“Quiet. You already got a gift this month. We’re leaving.”
“WAAAH!”
Shen Yuan couldn’t help but laugh. Stupid kid.
(Don’t get him wrong — Shen Yuan liked kids. But that one had tried to take his chance at getting LuoBubu. So, frankly, the scolding was deserved.)
The seller turned back to him.
“Need a hand with that basket?”
Still a bit flustered from the whole scene, Shen Yuan nodded, letting the man carry the heavy load as they walked toward the checkout counter.
“That’s quite a number of collectibles,” the man said pleasantly. “Looking for the special version, by any chance?”
Shen Yuan rolled his eyes. “Yeah, but it seems impossible to get. I’m not exactly the luckiest person around.”
The seller chuckled softly. “In that case, take this as a gift. Maybe it’ll bring you luck, my wi- my friends always say I’m quite lucky.”
The handsome man grabbed a PIDW x Labubu box that had been stored beneath his counter and placed it into a sleek black bag decorated with red accents, handing it to Shen Yuan, who wasn’t quite sure how to respond while the man continued scanning the rest.
“Oh… I don’t even know how to thank you. That’s really kind of you.”
“Don’t worry. The commission I’ll make from selling this many boxes will more than pay for it.”
That made Shen Yuan feel a little less guilty!
While he was organizing the bags to carry out to his car, he heard something strange.
“HELP- AH!”
Huh? What was that? The seller seemed perfectly calm, so Shen Yuan just frowned in confusion.
“Oh? Did you hear that?”
“Probably just a voice chip glitching in one of the toys,” the man replied easily, scanning the last box. “All done. Would you like help carrying these to your car?”
“Please! Wow, you’re way more considerate than the last employee who helped me. That guy looked pissed at the amount I was buying- like he wasn’t even getting commission from it. Tch. He even treated me rudely.”
The seller’s eyes seemed to gleam.
“Oh… He treated you badly then, Gege…?”
“Yes. But that’s beside the point. Once again, thank you so much!”
The man smiled once more.
“My pleasure.”
*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚
20:24 PeerlessCucumber [OP]:
[Photo of the PIDW x Pop Mart collaboration: Luo Binghe version.]
After purchasing over 700 boxes, I finally managed to find the Luo Binghe one. Isn’t it adorable? The fur texture resembles that of Bingpup, and those bright, mischievous red eyes! Look at the little mark on his forehead, and how perfectly sculpted his fringe and hair are. His smile is absolutely captivating. I’ll dress him up later with the outfits I bought and share photos with you all.
Even though I bought nearly 50 boxes in my last Pop Mart trip, the true credit for this achievement goes to the incredibly kind and pleasant employer who helped me; he mentioned being rather lucky, and then gave me this extra box as a gift. I believe it was purely luck and coincidence, not fraud, since the box was factory-sealed and couldn’t have been tampered with.
I’ll make sure to go back there to thank him for bringing me luck in my search for LuoBubu.
Edit: I went to the store, but couldn’t find him. When I asked about the man I described, they told me no one like that works there. The seller who usually works that shift is currently hospitalized after being attacked during a robbery. How strange! But what matters is that I now have my greatest treasure, and as of this post, I remain the only person to have proof of owning a LabuBinghe.
20:26 MBJSexyTits:
HE’S SO CUUUUUUUUUTE I WAAAAANT ONEEEE!!!
→ Reply from PeerlessCucumber (OP): Please refrain from laying your eyes upon my LuoBubu.
20:27 PIDWYaoiWhen:
I knew you’d get it! Our biggest Binghe fan!
20:28 LPMStepOnMe:
Whoa, congrats!!!
Edit: Just read your edit. That sounds like a horror movie plot. I’d be terrified.
20:31 HualingsRightHorn:
Now that Peerless Cucumber is not buying Labubus anymore, the whole collab’s gonna collapse.
20:36 SearchingForMyWife:
I’m so glad you finally found the plush you’ve been searching for. I’m sure he’s very happy to be with you — he’s been waiting for you just as much as you’ve been waiting for him. Take good care of him; all the love and affection you give him will surely be very special.
→ Reply from PeerlessCucumber (OP): Thank you so much for the kind words! I assure you the plush is in good hands. I’ll treat him with all the love and care he deserves.
20:52 AirplaneShootingTowardsTheSky:
…………………………..
→ Reply from PeerlessCucumber (OP): Fuck you, Airplane.
→ Reply from AirplaneShootingTowardsTheSky: bro……..
ok so there’s this kinda viral video in my country about this woman who’s absolutely obsessed with her nanny
because the nanny basically raised her and gave her the maternal presence she never had before
and now I can’t stop thinking about a binggeyuan modern AU where Bingge is a complete DISASTER when it comes to relationships like he always gets involved way too fast, marries, has a kid, and then parenthood is just a total NIGHTMARE for him because of [insert various traumas here] things never work out, so he just keeps cycling through nannies and wives because nothing ever sticks
until he hires SY and from there it’s all downhill because he watches SY taking care of his kids and he’s just like
wow
I want him to take care of me like that too
and he becomes OBSESSED like, literally making up excuses to travel the world with his kids just so he can drag SY along with them
“binghe, your kids are grown now, they’re starting preschool, so I think I’ll be coming over less ofte—”
nope Luo Binghe saw this coming 9 months ago
“yuan-gege I got another woman pregnant :( ”
“ah-”
“she’s giving birth in a few days, so you’ll help me with the newborn too, right? 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺”
“but-”
“plzzzzz yuan-gege I don’t know how to breastfeed I don’t know how to change diapers I don’t know how to do anything 😭😭😭😭😭”
“…well, if that’s the case, I guess I’ll have to stay here longer with Binghe…”
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