I typed out all the text on the page, itās under the readmore
āTEA SHOULD BE AS BITTER AS WORMWOOD, AND AS SHARP AS A TWO-EDGED SWORD
It is a truth universally acknowledged that volunteers prefer their tea as bitter as wormwood and as sharp as a two-edged sword, but few think to consider the true meaning behind that phrase. The uninitiated might assume that bitter tea means tea without sugar, but that [unreadable] all sugar is sweet, and all tea is bitter. In fact, there are many kinds of tea that are not bitter at all, but sweet and fruity, usually [unreadable] by a whimsically [unreadable] [unreadable] and a box with a picture of an adorable animal wearing pajamas. So it stands to reason that, if not all tea is bitter, then not all sugar is sweet. The question we might ask is: why would sugar be bitter? How would bitter sugar be created? And what greater purpose might bitter sugar serve?
from āLousy Laneā, pg 673)
āLONG AGO IT WAS SIMPLE AND (cut off)
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other organizational hierarchies, there have been schisms to rip those hierarchies apart, and therefore instead of fixing one date for the schism, we may as well put a bracket around all of human history and say: There! Are you happy? However, there is one thing that all sources seem to agree on: there is a vital connection between the V.F.D. schism and the most important part of a tea set. No, not the tea Ā pot. (see āSugar Bowlā, above)
Some people claim that the schism divided the V.F.D. cleanly in two, with one side devoted to starting fires, and the other devoted to putting them out. But of course, it is rare for anything to divide so neatly, with the exception of a particular sort of semi-soft cheese (see āGorgonzolaā, pg 401). No, it is far more likely (cut off)
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ment operating in the city, but two. Since so much about V.F.D. remain shrouded in mystery, including the circumstances of its creation, we can only speculate at the connection between the cityās official organization and its similarly-named counterpart. Some sources claim that the chief of the Official Fire Department was a close blood relation of a prominent member of V.F.D., though this fire chief has stubbornly refused to answer to any of our questions, on account of being deceased.
Finally, there is much debate regarding the exact cause of the schism. While most experts agree that it stemmed from what one might politely call āphilosophical differencesā, the truth is that these differences had been churning under the surface of V.F.D. for some time, even going back to the organizationās very name. After all, while one might assume the phrase āfire departmentā would obviously refer to an organization that puts out fires, thus protecting highly flammable literary materials, the phrase could just as easily refer to an organization that prefers to start fires and burn books (see āBradbury, Rayā, pg 451). Still, letās take a moment to theorize about the philosophical differences. Volunteers claim to be acting for the greater food, but philosophers who speak to the concept of moral relativity would be quick to point out that words such as āgoodā, āevilā, ādeliciousā, and āsandwichā can be ascribed different meanings, depending on the value system and dietary preferences of the (cut off)
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