[tomorrowillbeyou]

you have to listen to loud music . it scares the evil creatures from your head

[lustcannibalism]

I have already died thrice by 1pm

[ooppo]

Your heart is not true enough to enter the gates of Margaritaville

[insomniac-arrest]

Old predatory ads: you’ve won a million dollars by existing, click now!!!!

Current predatory ads: hourly remote work now, $18 dollars, poor ass!!!!

[grendelsmilf]

a boyfriend is a type of parasite that lives in a beautiful woman’s house and drains her life force

[wastrelwoods]

been sort of obsessively combing through articles and websites and resources about top surgery and recovery more and more as I gear up to My Big Day and while I hate to report I may have gotten through most of the scientifically rigorous and reputable sites I am at least, now, stumbling over some of the funnier AI generated slop images i've ever seen in my quest for Patient Information

[brawltogethernow]

They missed. 😔

[oneheadtoanother]

[ooppo]

It's always so funny when cats try to groom your hair because they go into it so confidentially before being like

Uhhhuu...uuuuhhhuuu...what the hell is this.....how did this happen to you mother

[monkeyislandtwo]

what kind of example sentence is this

[weaselknievel]

giggled at something and my coworker comes out of the break room and goes "I just heard like, a haunted child laugh... so weird." and I'm like okay so it was a normal regular alive adult laugh actually

[angelfrommontgomery]

Sometimes I think about the girl in my college gen chem class who believed all liquids were just particles suspended in water. I just find it very Greek philosopher. Like not only is water a universal solvent, but in fact THE ONLY LIQUID. It kind of charms me as a world view

[cognitohazardous]

no one is stupid in quite the same way as a tumblr user

[storm-of-feathers]

yeah yeah rainbow capitalism is bad and whatever but like. when I was a child, being pro gay was not the popular or lucrative choice. I'm happy that times have changed.

[storm-of-feathers]

I miss rainbow capitalism. I do. I miss when it felt like public opinion was still pro gay. I understand it was always an empty gesture, but it mattered in a sense of knowing how socially acceptable being queer is. If that makes sense.

[all-vampires-are-gay]

Every glasses-related poll honestly needs to be separated into diopter ranges like wrestling weight classes bc every timeeeeee these +1.25 bitches are in the notes like "OMG why would you wear glasses in the shower!! why would you wear glasses having sex!!" because without them i am functionally blind. you may as well turn the lights off at that point bc i am feeling my way to the pussy like Velma. those are my eyes, bitch

[mod2amaryllis]

some kind of yucky mold

[mod2amaryllis]

ewwwww

[mod2amaryllis]

oh my god?

[matter-for-mass]

i love logged out youtube

[i-give-you-a-fish]

See him shmoove