crawling king snake

max. 23. disaster artist.

[maxcowdy-blog]

elizabeth-morgan:

Liz forced a chuckle as she listened to Max. “I am sure it is not. Then again those things are not enough reasons to make it better but I see your point. Don’t get me wrong, I admire Southern manners and hospitality but I am also terrified of Republicans. You guys have a lot of those down there, don’t you?”

Max made a noise, cocking her head to one side, then the other. “Kiiiinda. There’s Republicans and Democrats. And a whole lotta people in between. Half the state voted blue, half red. More red though.” She of course, hadn’t cared enough to vote, though both of her parents had for Trump.

[maxcowdy-blog]

isaacwinston:

“What – don’t I have an honest face?”

“Semi-honest. You look like more trouble than you’re worth, I’d say.”

[maxcowdy-blog]

Baby's Breath, Sunflower

Do you like kids? If so, do you want to have any?

Answered.

Is there somebody you look up to? Who are they? 

“My cousin Jodi, she bought her own house right when she turned 21. She’s also a cheerleader with the Dallas Cowboys. Cool, right?”

[maxcowdy-blog]

Sunflower

Is there somebody you look up to? Who are they?

“Kris Jenner. She’s an amazing mom, manager, businesswoman, ontra-praneur, she’s everything and more I hope to be when I’m older.”

[maxcowdy-blog]

sadie-blair-farrow:

     “It is, why? Curious with just how much of the confederacy we can conjure instead of the pain of a fee with Ancestry.com?” And just like that, any guilt she had felt even in an increments dose, the solution lambasted and into familiar territory. “But I prefer inside on this night, less kids and phonies.”

Sometimes she had a hard time following what Sadie was saying, and this was one of those times. “What’re you tryna say? I don’t wanna conjure anyone. Was just pulling your chain and thought a breath of fresh air could do us good.”

[maxcowdy-blog]

jessica-ferguson:

“Just so you know… there’s free food for the person who helps me carry the boxes I can’t lift to my room. You in?”

“Sorry babe, I don’t do heavy lifting. I just got my nails done, besides. But I can call my friends to do it.”

[maxcowdy-blog]

petersonlayne:

“So I told her that I refuse to pierce her six month year old daughters ears. The kid was in a fucking state anyway, all snotty and shit, I wasn’t then going to pierce her fucking ears.” Layne huffed in a rant, pulling his joint away from his lips as he exhaled the smoke up into the air around them. “I know it’s business, but it’s disgusting. Let the kid make her own fucking decision when she’s old enough… Y’get what I’m saying? I didn’t pierce my ears until I was thirteen or something. It’s like kids who come in underage and try to convince us they are old enough to get a tattoo or, have their parents permission. It’s like, get the fuck out of here bro, stop wasting our time.” Was it obvious he’d had a bad day in the tattoo parlour?

“I got mine pierced when I was four, it’s no big deal,” Max said with a shrug, never having thought much of her mom and aunt taking her to get them done. Not like she even remembered it, anyway. “Oh wait— six months? What the heck? That’s like...a baby.” And who took babies to get pierced anyway? Weirdos, probably. “I get the teenagers who come in though. They just wanna look cool. But you guys know best. And teenagers are still growing aren’t they, no one wants a portrait of Carrie Underwood and then in 4 years it turns into Adele.”

[maxcowdy-blog]

albaaaxwest:

Alba was so over this bra at this point, and her first night out in Boston seemed like it was a brilliant time to take it off. Lucky and unlucky for those around her she had a top that covered her well still on. “Who wants it?” The red head laughed as she waved it. When Abby went out she did it well, but the day after it’s not so great but that time is ages away.

"Who wants your bra covered in your underboob sweat? No thanks, I’ll pass.”

[maxcowdy-blog]

✉️ ???

Alice: fCUK I PUNCHED MYSELF I NTHE FACE

Max: idk who you are but that sounded like it hurt.

[maxcowdy-blog]

Text | Open

Anders: HELP!

Anders: Need Christmas present ideas for Mason.

Anders: As great as it is that she has a large lingerie collection now because of me, there's no way in hell she'll be happy if there's just 10 boxes of bras under the tree.

Anders: IDEAS, NOW!

Max: Does she like Jewelry?

[maxcowdy-blog]

finluther:

Fin, having never been very shy, spots someone sitting alone in the cafe. Picking up her soda, she promptly moves to sit with them, “So, I’m just saying, we can either form an unspoken cafe contingent bond right now, or I can go back to my table and let you be surly. What’s it gonna be?” she asks, taking a sip of her soda.

“A cafe-what-now?” Max asks, single brow raised, looking somewhat confused. “For your information, I’m waitin’ on a friend.” A friend who was now 45 minutes late, and Max had the sinking feeling wasn’t going to turn up at all.

[maxcowdy-blog]

almaxalvarez:

“God these interns..” Alma huffed with an eye-roll, rubbing her temples before speaking again, “If you don’t know the difference between Couture and Ready-to-Wear, why would you even want to work in a fashion magazine? Idiots.”

“Right?! Like, who wouldn’t even know the difference between that?” Max asked, despite having just learned the difference between the two last week. “Maybe they’re just doin’ it for the money? Oh wait, interns don’t get paid, right?”

[maxcowdy-blog]

paige---brooks:

“Hey you gotta know what you’re getting yourself into you know? This is why i stick with Cyber Monday, I get to do it in my pajamas and I don’t risk getting arrested. Cause let me tell you, that bitch tried  me on the wrong day. She’s lucky I didn’t actually hit her. You would’ve seen me kicking and screaming on the local news.”

“Stop,” Max laughed, dropping her head, Paige’s story far too amusing the way they recounted it. “So I gotta come prepared, that’s settled. It’s the only way. What if I bring a tazer? Okay, tazer is too extreme maybe. What about one of those prank pens that shock you? I could jab it at someone and get the upper hand if shit goes down.” 

[maxcowdy-blog]

gerbera, iris, jasmine

What do you enjoy doing on your spare time? 

Answered.

What kind of friend are you? 

“The best kind of friend ever, duh! Okay, maybe I forget to respond to texts sometimes, but I’ve never missed a birthday. That’s got to count for something, right?”

What is your sexual orientation?

“I like guys, mostly. But I like girls too! I just never think they like me back, or if I see a cute girl I always assume she’s straight. I dunno. I don’t know how to flirt with girls.”

[maxcowdy-blog]

Baby's breath

Do you like kids? If so, do you want to have any?

“My job is literally entertaining kids and making kids happy — no shit I like kids! And yeah, sure, maybe in ten years or something. But I’m gonna adopt, I don’t want a messed up vagina. Nuh uh. No thank you m’am.”

[maxcowdy-blog]

carnation, jasmine, gardenia

What do you enjoy doing on your spare time? 

“I love going out, drinking with friends, shopping, mani-pedis, watching Kardashians, Project Runway, Real Housewives of Dallas, the usual stuff.” 

What soothes you when you’re stressed? 

“Shopping. And margaritas. Followed by some more shopping. Maybe a ten-plate of boneless hot wings from Zaxby’s to boot. Yeah. Good stuff.” 

What do you desire in a romantic relationship?

“Oh, you know, just what every girl wants. Someone loyal, committed, loving, spontaneous — with kisses and gifts, who knows the perfect way to cheer you up when you’re down, won’t mind running to the store when you just ran out of tampons, has a good sense of humor and doesn’t take themselves too seriously… and gives endless orgasms.”

[maxcowdy-blog]

lilly, orchid

What is one of your most craved aspirations in life?

“I dunno...to head a fashion house, I guess. I’m gonna be Donatella Versace. Just watch me.”

Are you or were you ever religious?

“Sure! I’m a regular, god-fearing Christian. I know that’s not too popular nowadays but that’s how my mama raised me, I miss going to church on Sundays. Now the not sinning part...I’m still working on that.”