I'm desperately in love.
Did- did you read that?
Desperately
In
Love
Which as many of you know is not anything particularly new. I've fallen in love with friends and strangers and characters and dreams, to be in love is not a rare thing for me.
This is why I'm waiting to say it until September. We'll have been dating for 6ish months at that point, and science (a single article I read once that I likely could never find again) says 6 months is when the honeymoon phase starts to end. 6 months is when this should fade, if it will, so 6 months is how long I'm waiting.
Why am I waiting, though? To give myself time to change my mind? To give him time to show me who he really is? To give us time to realize whether we truly want this?
To give him time to figure out I'm not the one?
That wasn't what this post was supposed to be about. Let me try again.
I'm desperately in love.
Desperately
In
Love
And he is perfect. Which isn't to say that I'm putting him on a pedestal, of course I wouldn't do that. I'll try not to do that. I know he has flaws, but those flaws seem to match up perfectly with mine, just like his hands and his smile and his twisted sense of humor. Perfect.
Now I have this constant source of inspiration. All I want to do is draw his soft eyes and write about his gentle breathing and dedicate books and poetry and sililoquys to his beauty - is this what having a muse is like? My mind has been stuck on a multi-media piece, his hands holding my bleeding, dripping, glittering heart, and I've never had an art piece thats demanded to be made quite like this one is.
I know it's nothing new, you guys have watched me write poem after poem for fleeting crushes, but I think this guy actually deserves the attention. Thats the difference, I guess. None of this is truly new, except for him. His prescense. His attention. His reciprocation.
I am desperately in love.
Desperately
In
Love
But for once, I've found someone that makes that feel alright. Manageable.
September can't come soon enough, I think.









