May I Sing To You? @mayisingtoyou - Tumblr Blog

“if you cannot become strong, I will stay by your side and protect you”

what-what if xie lian was a dragon. then what.

Tbh, I think if you read an mxtx novel with the expectation that the story’s hero is meant to learn some valuable lesson that fundamentally changes their character and views on life, then you are reading her books wrong. There’s not a single mxtx protag (currently) in existence who changes by the end of the story. It’s the world they live in that is changed because of their actions:

—Shen Yuan’s Shen Qingqiu transforms a toxic masculinity fantasy into a queer romance in which the unhappy stallion protagonist with a harem in the 100s is given his monogamous happy ending with a husband he actually loves and values with reciprocity. They fuck off to their forever honeymoon after exposing the corruptness of the cultivation world that ruined Luo Binghe’s life to begin with, and all of this was only possibly because Shen Yuan was just a genuinely nice fucking person. The world lives to see another day and a fuckton of people who died (or didn’t even get to exist) in the original stallion novel get to live long, more fulfilled lives in Shen Yuan’s revision.

—Wei Wuxian is killed for sticking up for a condemned clan, is resurrected against his will, and still stands by his actions in his first life while protecting those that continued to wrongfully condemn him. As a reward, the corpses of the people he died protecting save him and his loved ones (and the rest of the bystanders who killed them), he bags himself the most perfect and perfectly matched man in the cultivation world, and he continues to help others and do what he wants to the ire of the cultivation world who are now too embarrassed to fight him. The younger generation look to him as a beloved teacher, protector, and role model to aspire towards.

—Xie Lian rebelled against hierarchy as a beloved prince of a prospering kingdom, then as a beloved god against the older gods, then as a reviled scrap gods against the then most popular gods of the present day. He was always willing to lend a hand to anyone who needed it and to never hold resentment even if that kindness blew up in his face (and it often did). He gets to marry the man (ghost) who has seen him at his best and absolute worst and chooses him unconditionally, something no one else has ever done before. At the end of the novel, he is the god that all the other gods look to for guidance and strength.

None of these stories humble these characters for being good people. Even when their morally righteous actions net them unimaginably terrible results, even when they falter in the face of their failures, they ultimately remain true to their goodness. And none of the books humble them for that, because being good is not a character flaw. So in short: please stop talking about how mxtx protags “needed” to learn valuable lessons to “be good people” when they were already good people from the very beginning. These stories are not about how the world changes people but how genuinely good people can change the world just by actively being kind even with no benefit to themselves and especially if that kindness leads to detriment.

sol-illo

dreamy

shebsart

ofc she’s joking, she would hate humble Howl

idk why i’m obsessed with dressing howl in 70s style lol he just has that 70s popstar vibe

arahir

Hi jojo, what's your comfort thing you do when you just reach the evening and your brain goes 1000mph even tho you should be resting and relaxing? I've just been so stressed these past few days and i know i'll probably feel like this for the rest of the month (moving away for a semester abroad) and not being able to just lie down and relax is just stressing me more than all the bureocratic stuff and the thought of being on the other side of the world from my family and friends

i just got off a call with my therapist and we literally talked about exactly this. for me, i try to:

occupy multiple senses. i try to get at least three locked down. touch: take a warm shower, put on super comfy clothes, get out a nice blanket, use a shiatsu massage pillow on my shoulders, stretch out, get ridiculously warm. hearing: put on calming music, put on a dumbfuck show, talk to a random family member or friend. taste: make tea, find a nice snack i can slowly savor. sight: put on a pretty show or close my eyes for a bit. scent: light a fucking scented candle!!! etc. if i can get at least two or three of these offline, it helps immensely.

have a routine. i so desperately need permission to stop. since high school, i've set a firm deadline where i can go "i'm done for today." and it's helped immensely. just make sure whatever you're doing during the day, you aren't infringing on your ability to sleep at a decent hour AND relax beforehand. it is never worth it to lose sleep. never.

physically reset. lately my thing has been to take a shower early, get on pajamas, do some relaxing stuff as listed above, and journal a little bit. this can take between a half hour and two hours, or even longer. it's just about that mental ability to go hey, my day ended x hours ago and now we're on to getting prepped for tomorrow in a healthy way. starting my new day at like... 8pm really helps me. it just gives me permission to deactivate a little bit of my stress response.

ask for help. if you are experiencing anxiety, it isn't worth it. if any options exist for you to get help with that, do it. and i mean professionally. i know the cost can be exorbitant so i understand if this isn't an option, but if it is: please use it. anxiety is not weakness; handling anxiety without outside help is not some secret level of strength you need to achieve.

i hope any of this helps. i am one of those people that gets exercise every day, uses all of the above strategies, does yoga and mindfulness and fucking meditation, and still needs outside help. if that's also you, please give yourself permission to seek it out. even a little bit of anxiety can really snowball--again, as the poster child of people who Just Deal With stuff. you don't have to. you really, really don't.